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30th December

"Tae", Jimin grumbled, fiddling around with the fringe of his babyblue shirt. "It's 8am and it's your birthday? How can you already be drunk?"
With a sigh he patted the shirt smoothly and looked up, meeting the boy's eyes.
Taehyung had his lips in a pout, eyes drowsy and his sight blurry. "He'll marry her in two days", he let out quietly, rubbing his eyes tiredly before he placed his head on Jimin's shoulder, nuzzling it into the muscular shoulders.

"You had no sleep last night, Taehyungie", Jimin mumbled, worry clearly written all over his face as his eyes darted around and found several empty bottles of beer.

"So what", the younger shrugged.

"Breakups hurt, yeah. They're shit. But it's been a while now, Tae. You have to stop torturing yourself-"

"It's the only thing that numbs the pain of missing him", Taehyung hissed, pushing himself away from the smaller boy as he stumbled towards his bed, falling down on it.

Jimin let out a sigh, rushing after him, "Let's shower you, yeah? You smell like alcohol and sex. Who was it this time?"

"Forgot her name", Taehyung chuckled, "She was from Europe, I couldn't understand a single word she said-", he giggled again, sitting up as Jimin took his hand and lead him into the bathroom.

"Why don't you try to find someone who you can actually date?"

"To get hurt again? No, thanks. Jungkook was enough of a lesson."
Jimin tsked and then helped the boy who couldn't even hold his balance by himself to put his clothes off.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?", Jimin asked while he even had to help him into the shower and sit him down, Taehyung just kept losing his posture with his brain not working at all.
"Nothing, it's not the same without Jungoo", Taehyung mumbled, playing around with the bottle of shampoo while Jimin showered him.

It was awkward at first, honestly. Jimin felt like taking care of a small kid because he had to constantly remind the younger to eat, drink water and take showers. Every evening ended with Jimin singing Taehyung to sleep because drunk Taehyung loved Jimin's soft voice.

And he stayed awake almost all night to be there when Taehyung got scared by nightmares.

It wasn't easy, his boyfriends or whatever they were, they already went on a break with him. Told him he has to set priorities instead of cleaning up Jungkook's mess he made.
But Jimin wouldn't be Jimin if he wouldn't sacrifice a little of himself to be there for Taehyung.

"But I'm here, we can do something fun too, Tae. Maybe go out for a walk? Or shopping? You used to love shopping, we could buy you new shoes or a pretty headba-"

"You're not Jungkook", Taehyung said a bit harshly as he looked down.

"I know", Jimin sighed. "I'm just trying to make you happy on your birthday."

"Then bring me my Baby back."

Not much later, Jimin walked straight into Lyza and Jungkook's small apartment, meeting the family at breakfast table. Jungkook was reading the newspaper, looking for a job while Lyza was typing on her phone, sighing quietly to herself.

Taejeon however jumped up overly excited when he saw Jimin. "Schimin!!"

"My name is Jimin", Jimin rolled his eyes amused as he walked over to the boy and hugged him softly.
"Whatever. Schimin. Play with me!"

"No, I came here to pick up your Dad", Jimin explained shortly, eyes darting over to Jungkook who now looked up, biting his lips. "What for?"

"It's your best friend's birthday and the least you can do is show up." Jimin crossed his arms as the younger gulped. "Taehyungie birthday?????", Taejeon cried out, clapping his hands. "Yes, but we're not going Taejeonie. Not today, we're going somewhere else", he explained and Taejeon giggled, "Yes Jiminie is my favorite! Can we go to Burger King. And then feed the ducks. And then-"

"Yes", Jimin smiled fondly. At least someone who appreciated his company.

"Actually, I have plans today", Jungkook said, eyes focused on the newspaper again.
"Which would be?", Lyza asked, lifting her eyebrows.

Jungkook gave her a look, annoyed that she didn't play along. "What", she tsked. "It's fine, just go to him. You're going to get married in two days, enjoy it."
Jungkook gulped, "I d-don't want to."

"For fuck's sake it's not always about what you want, Jungkook", Jimin snapped. "I offered him to spend my time with him, he still wants you there. So go, see for yourself what the fuck you did to him, Jungkook. I hope it will break your fucking heart, I know you're hurting too but you're at fault here."

Jungkook flinched a little, not enjoying being yelled at. He got up quickly, "Fine, whatever."

Lyza grabbed his wrist quickly and looked at him, "It's okay, it really is."

"No one asked you", Jimin said quietly, shaking his head. Jungkook left to go to his room and change a bit, maybe put on some perfume and a little makeup-, he really wanted to show Taehyung his best side. As always.

"Why don't you end this?", Jimin asked the girl now that they were alone, Taejeon also in his room to get dressed. "It's killing everyone."

"I don't know", Lyza said in a small voice. "I just.. honestly, I don't know."

"Jungkook is in therapy, cutting his wrists while Taehyung wasn't sober once in a whole month. You look like you're doing nothing but overwork yourself since Jungkook dropped out of college. I lost my relationship because of all this shit and Taejeon never wants to spend more than half a day with you two."

"I know", Lyza said.

"End this, Lyza. Jungkook won't do it."

"I want to", Lyza voiced, "I just don't know h-how."

"You tell him it's over. Lyza, really, after you said yes in church in two days, things will be written down on paper and hard to change. Please, think again if that's what you want. A man who's forcing himself to be with you." Jimin turned away when he saw Jungkook coming back, looking way better than before. He  even put lipbalm on.

"Just look at him", he said quietly, "All he needs is knowing he's going to see him and suddenly he's back to his usual self. You're ruining him with staying."
Lyza nodded, face dropping when she saw Jungkook checking the mirror once again, smiling at his expression.

"Have a good time, Kook", Lyza said after him but he didn't hear her, he just rushed out.

Lyza sighed.
"So what you're doing today?", Jimin asked her softly. "I don't fucking know", she hummed. "Probably cleaning or something."

"Wanna join me and Taejeon for the day?", Jimin suggested with a smile.
"I'd love that."

*

"Oh my-", Jungkook's voice got stuck in his throat when he walked in, still using his spare key. Taehyung was in bed, dressed in nothing but a black hoodie he stole from Kook and boxers, sipping on another bottle of vodka.

Taehyung didn't even look up nor realise someone walked in.

"Jeonggukie Babie", he hummed softly, eyeing the ceiling. "You forgot my birthday for the first time", his eyes fell shut along with the bottle which crashed down on the floor, making a mess.
"Or you'd be here now", he added withouy any care of the world.

"Tae I'm right here", Jungkook said in a small voice as he walked over to Taehyung.
"O-oh", the older let out, eyes lightening up. "Are you here because you realised you love me?"

"I always knew that", Jungkook hummed, pushing Taehyung's chin up softly. "You're beautiful", he mumbled.

"I'm drunk",  Taehyung giggled.

"Still", Jungkook let out, shyly grabbing the older's hand and intertwined their fingers. "I planned a trip", Jungkook started slowly. "I-I thought it might be-- distracting.. t-to stay in one room all day, alone."

"We could fuck", Taehyung grinned.

"Tae", Jungkook sighed.

"Sorry", he laughed. "What trip?"

"There's this opening of an art museum today, it's only a few blocks away. You like art, so I t-thought-"

"I'd love that", Taehyung said, sitting up as he wrapped his arms around Jungkook.
Both of them knew, this would probably be the last time they'd have a day with each other, Jungkook knew he'd lose him when he'd say yes.

And Taehyung knew that Jungkook didn't want him. Not like that. Not anymore.

"Let's get you some water and breakfast first, I doubt they'll let a drunk dude in", he said and helped Taehyung get up.

"Can I kiss you?", Taehyung tilted his head.

"Taehyung", Jungkook whispered. "I'm engaged."

"And I'm Taehyung", the boy pouted. "Put off your jacket, it's hot in here-", he started fumbling around with Jungkook's jacket, opening the buttons.
The younger froze for a moment, knowing he only had a T-shirt beneath it.

But he let it happen.

Taehyung pulled the jacket off his shoulders and let it slide down his arms, eyeing his wrists widely when he saw several scars on it. Some older ones, some quite new ones. "K-kook", he gulped dryly, "W-what's that ggukie?"

The younger shrugged. "It's not easy for me either."

"Does anyone know?", Taehyung asked worriedly.

"My doctor. Lyza and probably everyone she told it to. But no one ever actually saw it", he admitted, blushing a bit.
"Why me?"

"Because I don't feel like I have to hide anything from you, Tae. You make me love myself even with scars that show how weak I am."

"You're not weak", Taehyung whispered, his fingers slowly wrapping around Jungkook's wrists, his thumb moving carefully above the scars. "You're strong, Baby. The strongest."

Jungkook smiled, "I'm really not."

"You went to a doctor, Kookie. You opened up about what's hurting, that's so much more than I ever do. All I do is drink and treat Jimin like shit even though he's the only one left", Taehyung said, leaning down a bit.

"You're amazing and I'm glad I fell in love with you, not anyone else."

"Tae, please", Jungkook looked away. "Don't make it harder than it already is."

"I don't intend to, all I usually make hard is your dick." He giggled, going back to his drunk self.
"Taehyung, jesus."

"Sorry. I love you. I'm sorry I weren't enough", Taehyung hummed. ,
"Don't say that, you make me want to ruin my own fucking wedding."

"That's what I'm trying to do-"

"Tae, it's enough now. Let's go." The younger grabbed a piece of bread, put some cheese on it and gave it to Taehyung, along with a glass of water. "Let's go."
Taehyung stuffed his mouth with food, following Jungkook out while he hummed a song. Kook didn't mind, he loved Taehyung's voice, even while having a stuffed mouth.

-

"Look", Taehyung's finger pointed on a painting hung on a wall, showing some sea with a small boat on it. "It's my favorite painting, Claude Monet draw it and called it 'Impression, Sunrise'. It's really popular, he used to draw the same scenery often, but with different lightings caused by the day. Like, at sunrise, sunset or in the middle of the day, it's amazing how the colors vary, I love the Impressionism, it's very interesting-"

Jungkook was quiet, he didn't look at the painting once. All he did was staring at Taehyung in awe, incredibly stunned for some reason.

"What", Taehyung asked a little startled when he caught him staring.

"Nothing, please keep talking."

"O-okay", Tae furrowed his brows and then smiled brightly. "Claude Monet was from France and lived in the 19th century, the painting we're looking at was made in 1872 and it's still known until nowadays, I think Monet was an amazing artist, other famous paintings of him were the Cathedral drawings, I could show you too some time."

Jungkook nodded.

Moving on. Taehyung kept rambling about Van Gogh next, showing Jungkook every single drawing, stating his opinion to it. His smile was wide, his eyes sparkly and his hand intertwined with Jungkook's. They even forgot they were in public, all that existed for them was their own little world in which Taehyung got to talk about what he loved and admired while Jungkook had much time to look at what he loved and admired.

"Ah I see", a woman's voice behind them ripped them out of their conversation. "I love seeing young couples around."
Jungkook and Taehyung kept quiet, looking away shyly. "Hm, he loves art and it's his birthday", Jungkook said after a while, glancing at Taehyung fondly.

"I heard him saying facts about every drawing, he's quite loud", the woman smiled.
Jungkook nodded, "Yes, when he gets excited he's all bubbly and talkative, not caring much about his volume-"

Taehyung was staring at another drawing already, reading what was written beneath it. He wasn't listening, but still hold Jungkook's hand the whole time.

"He's quite into art, huh?"

Jungkook nodded, "He always was. I think it's adorable."

"It is, he's lucky to have a boyfriend who supports his interests", the woman smiled, "Quite a nice couple, I wish you lots of luck", she said, winking when she saw the engagement ring on Jungkook's finger.

Jungkook gulped dryly.
Taehyung by now had turned around and was a little confused.

"Thanks", he hummed and the woman walked off.

"Why didn't you say we're not boyfriends?", Taehyung asked irritated.

Jungkook shrugged, cheeks flushed red.
"I-I-", he stuttered, trying to walk away but Taehyung hold him back. "Tell me. You never, literally never publicly let anyone in the thought of us together."

Jungkook sighed, "Ugh, leave me alone. I just wanted to feel like it for a moment. It feels so good to show you off as if you're mine", he admitted in a small voice.

"I'm not yours", Taehyung let out quietly. "And you're not mine."

"I know", Jungkook whined. "I just wanted to feel like it for a goddamn second, let me be. You could've said something too yet you didn't."

"Maybe because I like it too when people think of us together", Taehyung snapped. "You were always the one shying away from public."
The younger nodded hurriedly as he pulled Taehyung over to another drawing which was in the corner of a room, "Tell me something about that."

"I really wanna kiss you, Jungkook", Taehyung said, not caring about the damn drawing at all, instead he put his hands on Jungkook's cheeks, locking their eyes together.
"Do it", Jungkook let out in a small voice.

"You're engaged", Taehyung whispered.

"It's not like I've ever been loyal. Neither is she if I may remind you."

Taehyung nodded, remembering how he himself fucked the girl about a month ago. "S-sorry", he let out. "I'm really sorry about everything."

"Just kiss me, idiot."

Taehyung's heart skipped a beat, "We're in public-"

"I am pretty much aware of that", Jungkook hummed, getting impatient by every second. Taehyung smirked when he saw how Jungkook started to pull on Taehyung's shirt softly.

"Someone could see."

"No shit, sherlock."

"Someone might think we're gay", Taehyung kept mocking the younger, his hands sliding down onto his ass which he squeezed a bit.
"It be like that sometimes", Jungkook grumbled, looking up with big doll eyes.

"Aren't you afraid anymore?", Taehyung asked, now way more serious as he bit his lips worriedly. Jungkook shook his head, "Not when I'm with you. You make me feel okay."

"You always said that, yet you never-"

"Maybe it's because I really fucking hate myself but when I'm with you I might hate myself a little less. I'm selfish, sorry, now kiss me."
Taehyung chuckled at this answer and then pressed their lips together.

Everyone knows the feeling of a cold shower after hours in hot temperatures? How relieving it is, how it's empowering you in so many ways? The feeling of icey water rushing down heated skin, making your body shake a little but mostly because it feels so good?
Jungkook and Taehyung felt like that once their lips met; as if sunshine came back up, rainbows and bright colors dominanting their world and everything was dancing happily, unicorns and fairys more than just a imagination.

It lasted for a few seconds until they pulled back and realised they just kissed in public, not hiding.
Not ashamed of themselves.

"Woah", Jungkook let out, amazed because it never felt like this when he kissed Lyza.
"I know right", Taehyung agreed, intertwining their hands again. "Let's get out of here, y-yeah?"
The younger hurried after him and that's how they left the museum and walked over to a nearby park.

Taehyung sighed, "I hope whoever ends up with me will take me out on dates like that as well, I'm happy", he giggled, remembering all the drawings and how good it felt to talk about all of them without being interrupted once.
Jungkook smiled. "I'm sure he will."

"He?", Taehyung laughed quietly.

"Y-yeah?", Jungkook asked irritated.

"My ideal partner isn't limited to a boy or a girl", he admitted, "I like both I think. But I think I won't look for another boy because I'd always compare him to you. It wouldn't be fair to be with someone while being more in love with someone else."

Jungkook kept quiet. It was somehow beautiful to see Taehyung talking like that, so open-minded and comfortable in himself. Pride came up inside of him as he let out a giggle. "Whoever will be your future partner, I'm sure they will make you happy."

Taehyung nodded, "Absolutely."

.. not. Taehyung sighed while watching Jungkook smile so adorably. He'd never find someone like him.

"I'd be so happy for you", Jungkook hummed.

.. not really.  Jungkook wanted to be the one to take Taehyung out on dates like this, he wished to show him off everywhere as his boyfriend and kiss him on the streets.

They both smiled and kept walking. In far distance there was a girl, a boy and a child playing with a ball. The kid was running and stumbling, but laughing out loudly while the girl run after him, followed by the boy.
"I want a family like that", Jungkook hummed.

When they stepped closer, Taehyung chuckled. "That's your family, look it's Taejeon and Lyza. And Jimin-"
Jungkook nodded. They never did things together like this. "Wanna go there?", Taehyung offered.

"N-no", Jungkook whispered. "I haven't seen them smile in ages. Let them have their time, let's just go", Jungkook turned away and dragged Taehyung the other way.

And while walking away, they kept thinking of one thing;

It could always be like this.

***