"Louis."

Louis doesn't answer. Harry can feel thick tears filling his eyes, a weep threatening to hiccup its way out. Louis' not scared of anything, but the fearful look this the little white stick in his hand that says "pregnant! :)" gives him leaves an ache in Harry's chest.

After a moment, Louis looks up, eyes shining as he swallows thickly. "Are you okay?" He asks. He's scared shitless and the first thing he thinks to do is ask if Harry's okay. The way he bursts into tears must answer the question. "Oh, H."

"I'm so sorry," Harry sniffles. Louis wraps him up in his arms, his cheek pressed against Harry's hair as he rests his head against Louis' chest. "I-I have no idea how it happened, I-"

"Woah, hey," Louis stops him, voice tender as he rubs Harry's back. "I don't know what made you think this is your fault, but it's not. We both knew what could happen."

Harry closes his eyes, tears dripping down his cheeks as Louis holds him. They're barely seventeen. When he opens his eyes, the stack of university brochures on Louis' desk catches his eye, and he starts to cry a little harder.

"It'll be okay," Louis murmurs.

"How do you know?" Harry asks miserably, lip wobbling as he wipes his cheeks with his shirtsleeve.

"Well," Louis sighs softly, tucking Harry's head under his chin. "Because I love you." Harry let's out a pitiful laugh, and Louis squeezes him. "And 'm gonna support you no matter what you decide to do."

"I dunno how you're being so calm," Harry admits, leaning back to look up at Louis. Louis gives him a small smile, holding his face in his hands and wiping his tears away.

"I'm pretty sure I'm having a panic attack right now," He admits, eyes sparkling. "But. We've gotten through hard stuff before."

"Like what?" Harry scoffs, sniffling. "Algebra exams? Driver's tests? Trying to get to Taco Bell before it closes?"

"Okay, yeah," Louis wrinkles his nose, shrugging. "But that was preparing us for the big stuff. Like..." Louis visibly swallows. "A baby. Our baby."

"Our baby," Harry repeats, sniffling. Louis looks into his eyes for a moment before leaning forward, hands still on Harry's cheeks as he kisses him.

"We'll be okay," He mumbles. "I'll make sure of it." And, he's never lied to Harry before. Never done anything to make him distrust him. So he just nods, letting Louis kiss him again.

♛

It turns out Harry's mother isn't available the next night, as she has dinner plans with his sister. And, seeing as when she can't take the girls, he calls his sister, he is forced to call Louis and ask if his serotonin drop has passed.

Saturday nights are Louis' holy grail. Louis will go out any night of the week, but Saturdays are when the rest of society goes out as well, which means more people to convince to give him free drugs or start pub fights with. If he tells Harry he can't take the girls, because he's going out, or because he's still in a depressive state in his bed, Harry is totally fucked and will have to cancel on Luke again.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Harry greets, biting the curve of his thumb. "Um. I know this might be a bit of a long shot, but. Is there any chance you can take the girls tonight?"

"Oh. Um...yeah. Yeah, I can take them."

"Really?" Harry asks, letting out a sigh of relief. "That would be awesome." Louis' quiet for a beat too long, and Harry frowns. "If you're not feeling up to it, it's okay. You can tell me."

"No, no, it's fine, I just-" Louis stops to take a breath. "My girlfriend's here. Um, after you left last night I called her. Didn't...think I could be alone."

"Oh," Harry hums. "Um...that's alright."

"Really? You sure?"

"Yeah, they've already met her, right?" Harry points out, sorting through the shirts hanging in his wardrobe. He can't help but think he doesn't have many date-worthy clothing articles.

"Right. Yeah. I never did apologise for that, did I?"

Harry sighs softly. "No," He affirms. "You didn't."

"I'm sorry," Louis says. "'M not just saying it. I am."

"Yeah, um," Harry mutters, pulling a shirt out and examining it. Too yellow. He puts it back. "Thanks." He stops for a moment, swallowing thickly. "Your girlfriend. She doesn't...?"

"No," Louis assures quickly. "Never. Barely even drinks unless it's a weekend," He's quiet for a moment, adding on with a weak, humourless laugh "Been hoping she'll rub off on me."

"Got it," Harry nods even though Louis can't see him. "And, I would appreciate it if the cocaine on your bedside table was disposed of."

"Oh, shit, yeah, 'm sorry. The girls haven't been in here, I promise." Harry knows he feels guilty about him staying at his flat so long the night before, and that's why he's being so agreeable. It'll be back to normal in a few days.

"Mm," Harry pulls out another shirt. It's a possibility. He lays it out on his bed. "Are you...feeling better?"

"A bit, yeah."

"What...what did you take? To make you...?" Harry squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head immediately. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

"Yeah, no, you don't," Louis assures. There's a familiar rasp to his voice. If Harry keeps his eyes shut he could swear he's sixteen again. "Just a few things I will never be mixing together again."

"Got it," Harry practically whispers. "Well. I'll bring them over around seven, that alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine."

"Okay," Harry sighs, pausing before adding on "Thank you, Louis."

"'Course."

♛

Harry almost thinks he somehow has the wrong flat when the door is opened by a pretty brunette, until he realises the jumper she's wearing is Louis'. He knows it for a fact, because he used to borrow the same one.

"Hi," She greets, sticking her hand out to him. "Harry, right? I'm Danielle."

Harry smiles at her, shaking her hand. "Nice to meet you," He says, handing both of the girls their rucksacks. Danielle steps out of the way so they can enter, Katie practically sprinting away without a goodbye to find Louis. Emily waits for Harry to kiss her forehead, mumbling "Have fun," before she follows her sister.

"Um, Louis' laying down for a little," Danielle says, her smile faltering a bit. "He'll probably come right out once he hears that they're here, but, do you think I could get your number? In case something comes up anyways?"

Harry likes her already. "Oh, yeah, for sure," He nods. Danielle grins again, giving him her phone so he can put himself in her contacts. When he hands it back, he says "Tell Louis I should be back around nine. Katie will probably be asleep by then."

"Got it," Danielle nods. She must, somehow, be able to tell by his face that's he's concerned for Louis, and Harry likes her even more when she quietly adds on "I'm keeping a close eye on him. We had a long talk last night, I think he's doing much better."

"Good," Harry says softly, smiling when he can hear Katie shout "Daddy, 'm here!" within the flat. "Thank you."

"Of course," Danielle smiles back. "I hope wherever you're going, it's somewhere fun. Seems like you deserve it."

Harry's grin widens, nodding and saying "Yeah, thanks."

Louis appears behind Danielle, eyelids low, but looking in much better shape than the day before. He gives Harry a guilty, awkward smile. "Hey."

"Hi," Harry gives him a small smile back. "Thanks for taking them."

"Yeah, no problem," His voice is still a little scratchy, stuffing his hands in his pockets as Danielle puts her hand on his shoulder. "So...where you off to tonight?"

"Uh," Harry can feel his cheeks heat up a little, wrinkling his nose. "...Out."

Louis gets the hint, lips tightening as he nods. "Ah," He says, twisting his mouth before adding on, "You look nice."

Harry looks down at his sweater and jeans, grinning a little wider as he says. "Thanks, but I'm not dressed yet."

"Oh," Louis laughs bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, um. Have fun."

"Thank you," Harry nods. "Call me if you need anything," He notices the frown Louis possesses when he looks at Danielle rather than him while he speaks, but doesn't call him out for it.

♛

Luke picks Harry up at 6:55. Harry likes that, likes that he made the effort to come early and show he cares. He can't help but wonder how damaged he must be to think that being five minutes early is such a big green flag.

He drives a nice car, and he looks so put together, and he smells nice. The fact that someone put this much effort into seeing him makes Harry feel warm, feeling good about himself for the first time in a while as he sits in Luke's passenger seat.

"Alright, since I am new to the area," He starts, reversing out of Harry's driveway with one hand on the back of Harry's seat. He's really hot. Harry's in a little over his head, but it's nice. "I wasn't completely sure on the date-appropriate restaurants around, so this was kind of a shot in the dark. The people on Yelp liked it, though."

Harry laughs, and Luke looks pleased with himself. "I'm sure whatever you picked is wonderful," Harry assures. Luke grins.

"You look really nice, I forgot to say," He says, a bit shyer than before. "Not that you don't always look lovely in your office clothes, but. Seeing you in regular clothes is refreshing."

Harry giggles, tucking his hair behind his ear. "You look nice too," He says.

"You think?" Luke grins wider, nose scrunching up a little. "I don't think I'm supposed to say this, because it'll ruin the illusion, but the sweater is my flatmate's. I don't own anything this nice. Or date-worthy."

"It'd be kind of unsettling if you had a ton of date outfits lined up," Harry points out.

"That's fair," Luke chuckles.

They get to a restaurant downtown Harry's probably been to fifty times, but he sees it through a new lens when he walks through the door that Luke holds open for him.

"Hi, reservation for Hemmings?" Luke asks the hostess, giving her a polite smile.

"Yup, we have you right here," She says, grabbing two menus from the hostess stand and waving for them to follow her. Luke allows Harry to go first, following the hostess to a table with a candle lit in the middle of it. Luke pulls out a chair for Harry, who thanks him with rosy cheeks.

"You made a reservation," Harry says, impressed.

"Would've been pretty embarrassing for me if we got here and they were all booked," Luke laughs, sitting in the seat across from him.

"You put a lot of thought into this," Harry observes, small smile growing when Luke's cheeks turn pink at the accusation.

"I just...really wanted to impress you," Luke admits, shrugging. "And I know I'm probably ruining it by telling you like a dork, but. You're really cool. I would have taken you out for Taco Bell if it meant getting to hang out with you and talk like we did at the coffee shop, but. There's not a lot of romance in Crunchwrap supremes."

"I personally love a Crunchwrap supreme," Harry says, and Luke grins.

"Next date, then," He says. It's Harry's turn to blush. "Presuming I succeed at wooing you tonight."

"Consider me woo-ed," Harry says around a giddy smile, trying so hard not to show how very much he is falling in love with this man. Luke is beautiful, for one, and looks like staying up to watch the sun rise and lifelong monogamy and happiness, which is all he's been longing for for years. He wonders if his mum would like him, or Katie and Emily, wonders if he's good with kids and if he likes them, until the waitress asks what they'd like to drink and interrupts his thoughts.

"What d'you like for wine?" Luke asks, looking up at Harry over a drink menu.

"Anything," Harry replies, voice so sweet you'd think Luke had asked what colour he wants to paint their new kitchen.

"This one looks good," Luke points to one, showing the waitress. She writes it down and tells them she'll be right back, and Luke turns the menu over to show Harry which one he had ordered. "I got too nervous I wouldn't be able to pronounce it."

Harry laughs, endeared. "Chateau de la Chapelle," He says, and Luke's face softens with surprise, lips turning upward into a lazy grin.

"That...was super attractive. I can't lie," He admits, and Harry laughs again, shyer, his face on fire. "You're making it hard to pretend to be cool."

When the wine arrives, Harry is not as caught up in his fantasy world of a life with Luke. He finds himself watching carefully at how much Luke drinks, and how fast, and how it effects him, and he hates it. Hate that he thinks like that, that he feels like he has to feel like that.

"So," He starts, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. "What do you do outside of work?"

"Well," Harry rests his head in his hand, looking up at Luke through his eyelashes. He wonders if he looks as smitten as he feels. "I'm writing a book."

Luke's eyes light up with delight. "Really? That's so cool," He says, and it's genuine. Harry grins back.

"I mean, I kind of already wrote it," He says. "'M just looking for an editor."

"That is wicked, seriously," Luke praises. "What's it about?"

Harry hesitates. How do you tell a cute boy "it's about my drug-addicted ex-boyfriend who ruined my perception of love"? Luke must see the apprehension on his face, because he holds his hand up and says "Never mind. Don't tell me. I'll wait until I get to read it myself."

Harry just gives him a grateful smile. Luke looks down at his menu, holding it up and pursing his lips. "I don't know what's good, you ever been here?"

"Loads of times," Harry nods, picking his menu up as well. "'S my daughter's favourite."

He sees Luke freeze over his menu, and he lifts his head to look up at him, seeing the confused, slightly nervous look on his face. "What?"

"My...my daughter," Harry repeats unsurely. "This is her favourite restaurant."

Luke is silent for a beat too long, blinking at Harry before asking, "You have a daughter?"

He finds himself nodding, a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. "Two," He says quietly, the disappointment in Luke's eyes tearing his domestic apart as quickly as it formed.

"You...I didn't know," Luke says, almost apologetically, like it's his fault Harry never told him.

"Oh," Harry practically whispers, looking to his left and avoiding Luke's eyes.

"Yeah. Oh," Luke repeats, just as quietly.

♛

Harry uses the time he has alone during the drive to Louis' to cry.

He can't believe he never thought to tell Luke he has kids, never even thought of it as something that could possibly deter him. The rest of the date was so awkward he couldn't stand it, and that's the thing.

It almost would've been better if Luke had chewed him out, had told him how stupid he was for forgetting to say anything and walked out of the restaurant, but he didn't. He was kind and thoughtful the whole way through, even waited for Harry to get inside before driving away after dropping him off.

Why can't anything just be good? Why can't he have something, anything? Why does Louis get a sweet partner and to have fun and be young while Harry had to grow up twice as fast to take care of their kids? Why isn't anything fair?

He listens to Melodrama and wipes his eyes frequently to maintain his ability to see the road, hoping no one will be able to tell he's been crying, especially the girls.

When he gets to Louis' complex, he takes a moment to take some deep breaths, wiping his cheeks and turning the light on to check his reflection in the mirror. It's so bloody obvious. He sighs, deciding not to care. He just wants to get home and put the girls to bed so he can watch How Harry Met Sally and cry some more.

He feels even worse when Louis' the one to open the door, his eyebrows furrowing in concern immediately. "Woah, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," Harry sniffles miserably. Louis gives him a suspicious look, and Harry sighs. "I just want to get the girls and go home. Please."

It takes a moment for Louis' jaw to tighten. "Wait," He says. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"

The fact that Louis is asking is very ironic. "Fuck off, Louis," Harry huffs, his voice wobbling. Louis' face softens a little, hurt, but Harry can't bring himself to care. "Where are the kids?"

"They're sleeping," Louis says, his voice a bit quieter. "Do...do you wanna just let them sleep here? Take the night off, get some rest?"

"No," Harry sniffles.

"Harry, c'mon," Louis sighs. "They're already sleeping. Are you even alright to take them?"

He's making Harry feel like he's the irrational one here, like he's the one who was on the verge of tears the night before because he didn't feel like he could be alone with them. It fills him with an anger he can't even describe, even more tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.

"Fine," He says, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Fucking fine. You win, Louis. Pretend like I'm the shitty one here. Again."

"Woah, wait, what the fuck did I do?" Louis asks, stepping out into the corridor and closing the door behind him. "I know you're emotional, and I'm sorry, but you don't get to take it out on me."

Harry let's out a wet, humourless laugh. Louis furrows his eyebrows at that. "You're the worst," He says. "Holy shit. You're the fucking worst. And you don't see it at all. That's the worst part."

Louis just stares at him, lips tightening as he looks away. Harry sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I'll come and get them in the morning," He says after a moment, voice trembling.

"Okay," Louis says shortly, looking back at him. "Maybe if you didn't think you were so superior to everyone else, your date would have gone better."

Harry knows if he starts to tell him off, it won't ever stop. He'll just yell and yell and wake the whole neighbourhood up and Louis will never even try to cooperate with him ever again. His face crumples into tears, looking down as he simply turns and walks away from Louis' flat.