Glossary:

Terms/Concepts:

*Vaidurya – Cat's eye gemstone

*Prithvi Maatha – Mother Earth

*Patni – wife

*Yadu Kanya – maiden of the Yadu or Yadava dynasty

*Veera Sodari – the brave sister (another name used to refer to Subhadra)

*Raudra Dhari & Chandra Nandhan - names used to refer to Abhimanyu meaning 'the wielder of the Raudra bow' and 'Son of Chandra (moon)'

*Dharma Yudh – battle of dharma (righteousness)

*Kshatriya – one of the four social orders of Hindu society associated with warriorhood

*Suta – considered to be one of the lower classes of social order

*Daan – offering of charity

*Naga Astra – a divine weapon that takes on the form of a snake – posing a deadly impact on the recipient

*Jhumka – traditional bell-shaped earrings

*Agarbatti/Agarwood incense – a fragrant dark resinous wood used in incense, perfume and small carvings. Specially used as incense sticks in temples and prayer areas.

*Srirangam – Sri Ranganathaswamy Temple; the foremost of the 108 divine temples dedicated to Maha Vishnu located in Srirangam (Tiruchirapalli, Tamil Nadu, India). It is the largest functioning Hindu temple in the world and, due to its divine history it is popularly referred to as 'Bhu Loka Vaikuntha' (meaning: Sri Vishnu's Vaikuntha abode on Earth)

*Tirumala- Venkateshwara Temple is located among the seven Tirumala hills – forming a part of the Seshachalam hills range. It is located in Tirupati (Chittoor district of Andhra Pradesh, India). The temple is one among the 108 divine temples dedicated to Maha Vishnu. The main deity is Sri Venkateshwara (a form of Vishnu) who is believed to have appeared to save living beings from the trials and troubles of Kali Yuga. Hence the temple is popularly referred to as 'Kali Yuga Vaikuntha.'

*Devi Mahatmya – or 'Glory of the Goddess' is a Sanskrit Hindu religious text describing the Goddess as the supreme power and creator of the universe. It is a part of the Markandeya Purana, and said to have been composed between 400-600 CE.

*Shvetashvatara Upanishad – ancient Sanskrit text, consisting of 113 verses, in the Yajur Veda

*Goloka Vrindava - the spiritual abode of Sri Krishna

*Markandeya Purana – a Sanskrit Hindu text and one among the 18 major puranas. Markandeya is a sage in the history of Hinduism, who is a central character in legends related to both Shiva and Vishnu.

"Brother Balarama, Brother Krishna has taken away my doll and has kept her beyond my reach!"

"Kanha!I am not going to support and cover up for your mischief before Pithashree today!"

"Brother Balarama, if you do not support me, who will? Definitely not my dearest Subhadre!"

"Brother Krishna!"

Tears sprung to the extravagant eyes of the Goddess of illusion herself, as the voices of her childhood strafed her from all sides, while traversing through the corridors of her childhood 'home.'

Though having been born in the city of Mathura, post the death of her atrocious maternal uncle at the hands of her divine elder brother, the Yadava Princess had been raised on this heavenly land of Dwaraka Dham for the most part of her life. The most cherished memories of her adolescence, forever etched within the deepest depths of her heart, once reverberated amongst these very walls decked with studded stones of sapphires.

Nothing had changed over the years, that had washed by as tidal waves over the palace and its residents. The coral pillars engraved with a multitude of vaidurya gems, which a young Subhadra had tirelessly chased her second brother around, as he mischievously ran ahead with her dolled mannequin clutched firmly between his bluish fingertips. The marbled floors that shone with a luster beyond the explanation of mere words. The very ones which had posed as a consistent challenge to her jutti-covered soles, as she slid across them to land herself within the protective grasp of her eldest brother, who never failed to receive her with a reprimanding glare while lovingly admonishing her childish antics.

'Nothing had changed,' thought the Yadava Princess, with the watery shine of her orbs betraying the pinch of her heart, amidst the glow of the countless jewel-encrusted oil lamps that hung suspended in air from their place on the bright porcelain walls. Which had along with dispelling the sources of darkness amongst the walls of the palace, had uncovered the late-night mishaps of Jagannathand his two favourite siblings. 

All had remained constant, excluding the mindsets of the one re-living her fondest memories and her loved ones – that had worn from the repeated thrashing against stones with the passage of each and every tidal wave of maddening events thrown at them by destiny. The epic battle of Kurukshetra, the culminating current, that had mercilessly overthrown the remnants of what they had termed their sanity to the hands of an undetermined fate.

"Maa, you must have loved your childhood! Living in a palace as such, with the companionship of the ever-troublesomeMadhavahimself," giggled Mitra who once walking alongside Arjuna's Priya patni, now squeaked as she attempted to dodge the creeping fingers of Partha's best friend, inching towards her ears. "You are the luckiest Princess, Maa!"

A sad smile reigned over the lips of the Yadava Princess as her ears registered the innocence-painted words of her favourite daughter. 'Luckiest Princess.' A humourless chortle escaped her reddened lips with the mere thought of the word 'luck' even housing some form of relevance along the journey of her life.

The young princess who had once been raised with pampering love and affection throughout her childhood. The young damsel whose heart, soul and mind, owing to the companionship of her second brother, were captivated by the charm of unconditional love and its true beauty – dreamt nothing more than to be able to experience and live a life filled with the touch of this incorruptible magic. But little did she know then, at that tender age, that life did not work as such in all instances. Yet, even after the waiting period of years, when she was blessed to become the fourth and final wife of the only man of her dreams, the darling of the Yadu dynasty innocently housed the glass orb of dreams that she may now live a hassle-free life, constantly sheathed by the wings of love and more importantly, certainty.

But once again, the apple of Sri Krishna and Balarama's eyes was heart-shatteringly proved wrong with the series of catastrophic events that had racked havoc upon their lives. With Yudhishthira's inability to deny the damned game of dice, despite understanding the unchaste intentions of the Kauravas. The severe losses, both material and emotional, faced by the Pandavas and their magnificent fire-born Queen. The devastating 13-year exile that mercilessly snatched away treasurable moments the Yadu kanya dreamt to spend with her husband and only son. The missed opportunities of the treasured father-son bonding.

And despite facing all the stones life threw at her with utmost forbearance, the incarnation of the Lord's divine power remained resilient with the ever-present smile of enchantment on her lips – brightening her features along with the hopes of all who laid eyes upon her. She raised not only her own, but the sons of her co-wife and dearest sister with the unconditional and selfless love of a mother. Along with providing the nurturing caress of affection, she had fed her son the knowledge to understand the importance of upholding dharma in all instances. And this had prepared Subhadreya to take part wholeheartedly in the battle of dharma that would avenge the insult faced by his elder mother at the hands of the Kuruvanshis. The same catastrophic battle, mother of all battles and ironically named 'dharma yudh,' that had stolen many sons from their remorseful mothers without favouritism - failed to spare the mother goddess, as it snatched away the final hope of hers; the one and only treasured son of Yadava Kanya – Prince Abhimanyu.

The loss of this strongest hope. The one hope who the Goddess of divine illusion, herself believed to be a constant in her life, had shattered the last bit of hope housed by the young princess who had childishly wished for a future holding nothing but certainty. The magnitude of destruction faced had successfully turned the light-hearted enchantress – from whom creation is enabled, into an overprotective mother, who shivered at the slightest indication of having to let her now beloved daughter beyond her sight for a fraction of a moment.

"That she is," chuckled Krishna as he wound an arm around the shoulders of the now startled Subhadra. "The luckiest fortune of us Yaduvanshis," he smiled, as the shiny orbs of his dearest sister glanced up at him with all the love they could muster. "An inseparable part of me, she shall always remain."

Yayaa Tvayaa Jagat-Srassttaa Jagat Paatyatti Yo Jagat 

So[ah-A]pi Nidraa-Vasham Niitah Kas-Tvaam Stotum-Ihe[a-Ii]shvarah 

Meaning:

By You, He who is the Creator of the World, the Destroyer of the World, He Who is the World Itself (i.e. the Preserver of the World), even Him (Vishnu), You have overpowered with Sleep; 

What (further) Praise can therefore be uttered by me now, O Ishwara?

And what could be truer than these incomparable slokas of the Tantrika Ratri Suktam. The first of the four popular hymns contained in the Devi Mahatmya. The Brahma-stuti sung by Lord Brahma himself, in praises of Sri Narayana's Goddess of Illusion, who had accompanied him in his descent to Earth in Dwapara Yuga as Devi Subhadra. The maiden believed to be the incarnation of Goddess Yogamaya, and as per the Shvetashvatara Upanishad – the most important personal power or 'ahladini shakti' of the Lord. The sole power that induces Sri Hari's meditative slumber or 'yoga nidra' over the rolling waves of the Ksheer sagara, prior to the re-manifestation of the unlimited number of universes, in their never-ending cycle of repeated manifestation, sustenance and dissolution. As per the Devi Mahatmya in the Markandeya Purana; The Goddess who upon the humble request of Lord Brahma had then withdrew herself from Narayana, thereby awakening the Lord from the influence of her divine illusion supporting slumbers; so that he may slay the demons Madhu and Kaitabha attempting to devour the first of the Trimurthis.

"And if not for Maa, how would I have gotten your association, Madhava?" grinned Mitra as she wrapped her arms around the torso of Veera Sodari. "Thank you, Maa."

"That is indeed true, my dear," murmured Krishna whose soft gaze held those of the loving mother whose arms embraced her child with indwelling affection. The safe haven in the arms of the mother of divine illusion – who solely reveals Krishna upon the view of the devotional gaze of a soul who has surrendered oneself to him. "I am not visible to everyone on account of being curtained by Yogamaya," (Bhagavad Gita, Ch.7; Text 25) he had spoken to Dhananjaya, four years back on the blessed soils of Dharmakshetra.

Subhadra offered her brother a knowing smile, before returning her gaze down to glance upon the young damsel in her arms, whose side face lay pressed against the jewellery adorned, emerald green infused silk dupatta sheathing her bosom.

"I've requested Uttara to spend the night in my chamber, Putri. So that I may assist her in caring for Parikshit if he wakes up during the later hours of the night. Would you also like to stay with us, my dear? As it is a new place for you to settle in," she murmured as she pressed a soft kiss against the crown of Vijaya Nandhini.

"That's fine, Maa," replied Mitra with a shining smile adorning her lips. "Taking care of Baby Parikshit is already a mission in itself! I don't want you to have to take on the additional hassle about worrying for me as well."

Subhadra's perfectly arched eyebrows scrunched together as she stared hard at her daughter, who had the audacity to believe she may possibly be a hassle for her mother. Cupping the moon-like cheeks before her between her pristine palms, the daughter of Rohini replied,

"The clouds fail to hold on to their drops of precipitation, not because they have individually become a burden on the group of condensed water particles, held suspended in air to appear as mists upon the views of the Earthly beings. Rather these pearls of crystallization are wholeheartedly separated from their clusters of gathering to fall down to their individualized fates, so that countless lands may feed off and benefit from them. But the drops of rain will always remain a part of their harbouring cloud, no matter where they are destined to land on the grounds of Prithvi Maatha. Similarly, you were destined to bring fortune to not only us, but those of Aaryavarta, Putri. Hence, I will not restrain you to the confines of my arms, and rather will whole-heartedly let you venture on your own path. But that will never change the truth that you are a part of me. I am your mother, and you are my daughter. You are mine and forever will remain so."

Lips quivering in response to even the mere thought of losing her child again to the hands of uncertainty, Subhadra shakily pressed them against the shining forehead of Vijaya Nandhini, as a sudden rush of euphoria surged down the spine of the latter; her eyes closed in pure ecstasy. 'What good deeds must I have committed in my past life to have been born as the daughter of Daanveer Karna and be blessed with becoming the light of the Pandava vansh – the noblest of mankind.'

"She is forever yours, Bhadre," chuckled Krishna, the musical sound sufficient to distract an onlooker from the new watery glaze of fulfilled satisfaction that had layered itself across his lotus-like eyes. 'And not just for the duration of this lifetime. My Adishakthi, she along with all beings have been your children since time immemorial and will remain to be so till the end of time itself.'

"I also believe it's only fair that my Priya be given the freedom to experience the depths of the adventures Dwaraka has in store for her. And for that, let us start with showing you to your very own bed chamber, my dear!" exclaimed Krishna, as he pinched the rosy cheek of his favourite Pandava Putri, making the latter scowl in response to receiving her most dreaded gesture of endearment. "Come along with me!"

"Are those cries of peacocks I hear, Madhava?" questioned a curious Mitra as she glanced up towards the interiors of the ornate roofs shielding the palace, while accompanying her best friend along the corridors of Dwaraka's inner chambers. In search of the one that would house her residence throughout her stay.

Krishna smiled as he mentally glanced up towards the source of the pleasant cries from above; the bearers of Morpankh daari's treasured symbol resting upon his crown.

"I believe as usual they are enacting their daily dance routines, Priya," he chuckled, earning a bashful look from the young princess.

"Dance routines? Don't peacocks only dance when they sense the oncoming of Lord Indra's blessings to the beings of Earth?"

Krishna threw back his head, as a series of heartfelt chortles escaped the rosebud lips, bringing a dazzling smile upon the those of his Priya Sakhi in response. "Spoken like the true granddaughter of Lord Indra and daughter of Indra Putra, my dear. I must say I'm impressed with the influence Partha has over you."

Desperately attempting to erase the further reddening of her rosy cheeks, Mitra raised her eyebrow at her favourite partner, threatening him to answer her initial question. "I'm positive we all know whose daughter I am, so let's rest that topic! Now tell me Madhava, why would the peacocks dance at this moment?"

"Oh, I don't remember saying they were specifically dancing only now," giggled Krishna, earning a frown from the Princess.

"Meaning?"

"They dance all day long, my love," he chuckled, amused at the surprised look decorating the sharp features spelling out Angaraj Karna upon a single glance.

"Why would they dance all day? That is surely not normal of peacocks..."

"You know, your facial attributes and current reactions remind me of your father. More specifically the first and last heart-to-heart conversation I had with him years back."

Krishna effectively managed to prevent the lone tear that thirsted to slip past his lotus features, to betray the tug of his heart to the world beyond, at the mere remembrance of the strong-willed man known for upholding the honor of friendship. The true friend who refused to abandon the side of his dearest friend, the sole individual who had accepted him as he was during his lowest. Knowing well that his unbreakable loyalty would be the push for a fall that he would never be able to revive himself from. 

The Kshatriya who lived the life of a Suta despite being birthed by a Queen. The archer whose tremendous supply of skills and valour were constantly shielded by the shadow of his foster lineage, no matter where life steered him. Just as the rounded golden beauty of the sun, despite being displayed at its fullest beauty for mere moments in the sky, are hastily followed close by Lord Indra's mists of precipitation with a thirst to have the ball of fire shielded from the view of Earth's beings. 

The man who had refused to invoke the Naga Astra a second time to enable the downfall of his arch nemesis, come brother, whose crown alone, replacing his head, had been subjected to the force of the venomous weapon, under the protection of his Parthasarathi. The greatest Daanveer who had never failed to provide to the needs of any who approached him in the name of 'daan.' 

A deep sigh left the lips of Madhava as his eyes observed the lowered ones of his dear sakhi. The blood and pride of that great soul. The Daanveer who once was.

In an attempt to prevent her from slipping back into the painful memories of the past, Krishna chuckled as he responded, "Well coming back to your question, my friends here dance daily...every minute of the day around the palace walls and upon it's roofs."

"And why is that?" questioned a now smiling Mitra.

Instead of providing the answer to her question, Krishna raised his palm, facing upwards in a supine position, and gestured the movement enacting the inhaling of an imaginary aroma near his nose.

"What aroma have you recognized to overpower the corridors of this palace, Priya?"

Deeply inhaling the aroma surging through each and every air particle of her surroundings, Mitra felt her inner mind reach a state of calmness. An aroma related to a calming atmosphere one easily identified within the walls of a mandir. Then again, if not seen as a revered mandir housing the Lord of the Universe on this Earthly plane, what else would the agarwood-incensed palace of Dwaraka be termed as? Just as Srirangam and Tirumala received their names as 'Bhu Loka Vaikuntha' and 'Kali Yuga Vaikuntha' respectively, any residence of the Lord, treasuring a mere speck of dust that had been blessed to fall below the shadow of his soles, would become the Goloka Vrindavana of a devotee's heart.

"Agarbatti, Madhava. But-"

Mitra halted in the midst of her remark, as she glanced up towards the tall ceilings and upper walls. More closely at the dense mist networks of collected incense smoke, and their linear release as puffs of semi-translucent whites through the holes of the many gridded windows of the palace walls and ceilings.

"They believe it to be the formation of clouds, do they not? The peacocks resting on the roofs of the palace. They believe the mists of agarwood incense escaping the windows are indeed clouds ready to bring about the downpour of a rainfall!"

A wide grin adorned the face of Krishna in response to the accurate guess of his Priya Sakhi, as he acknowledged it with a wink.

"Yes, the words describing yet again another aspect of Dwaraka's creation and uttered by the lips of Narada himself (Srimad Bhagavatam; 10.69. 1-12)."

Mitra remained awestruck as her eyes widened on their accord, taking in each and every wondrous feature of this magical land and its palaces. Yet, a calming smile remained upon her rose-hued lips, as her gaze shifted back to meet those of her Sakha.

"I feel at home, Madhava. I don't know how to explain this feeling, which feels just as foreign as it feels known," she stuttered as she played with her fingers. "I've never felt this way before, at least not so soon! I always feel the endless rush of jitters in new surroundings. But here...here it's different. I feel as if I belong. As if I'm meant to belong."

A blissful smile graced itself upon the features of Nandagopala, as a soft chuckle escaped his buttery lips. Reaching out his well-built arm, he allowed the fingers of his reddened palm to tuck back the stubborn lock of curl that had slipped the neatly braided hair of the young princess to graze her rosy cheek.

"That is because you do belong, Priya," he murmured. "It is not the setting itself that attracts the sense of 'belonging' that dwells within your inner self, my dear. Rather it's the presence of a specific bond you share with an individual here, that makes you feel the presence of home."

"And I believe I know who that special individual is, Madhava," smirked Mitra as she wrapped her slender arms around the larger one of her Krishna, letting her temple rest against the emerald and ruby encrusted golden armlet sheathing his bicep.

A soft smile, bereft of the light-hearted joy present earlier, graced itself upon the lips of Krishna, as his orbs clouded with the haziness of the future events to take place one day.

"Home for you is always where I am, is it not?" he questioned, his voice raspy with the light stroke of breakage.

"Of course, it is! Would you think otherwise?" she questioned back with a tone of finality in her chirpy voice.

"Then how do you feel at home in Hastinapura, Priya?" he countered. "I'm not present there with you."

Mitra looked up, meeting his questioning gaze with her flustered one. Pursing her lips into a tight line of resistance, she replied with an intensity that brought upon a smile of satisfaction that if possible, further brightened the features of Hrushikesha.

"You're not physically there at all times, Madhava. But, you're with me emotionally. I'm situated in Hastinapura and you reside in Dwaraka. We may be separated by distance, but never by heart, my Sakha. So how can I not feel at home while physically being away from you?"

A sense of foreboding crawled down her spine, as Krishna's reddened palms gently grasped her shoulders and pulled her away at arm's length. Grasping the rosy cheeks, his eyes shone with serenity and certainty as they regarded her unwaveringly.

"I want you to remember this. Always. Just because I'm not physically there with you, does not mean I'm not present at all. We are connected by heart. We have been for ages now, and we will be for eternity. Remember this, my Krishna Priya. Always remember this."

He watched with unbreakable calmness as the highly expressive doe eyes before him glazed of their own accord. Mitra felt an unexplainable numbness take reign over her inner regions, as she struggled to comprehend the reason behind the sudden tearing of her eyes. With quivering lips, she struggled to blink back the pearls of betrayal that threatened to slip past the kohl-lined ridges of restraint.

"Madhava, why are you saying this now? As if... as if though you will not be with me?"

Despite the unwavering restraint she held over the display of her emotions, Mitra felt betrayed as she felt the warmth of the salty droplet that stubbornly left the confines of her eye to descend its way down her cheek. Only to be held by the soft fingertip of Kanha, as he observed its clear salty composition with utmost interest, before flicking it away to mix with the confines of the agarwood-fumed air particles of their surroundings. At last, Mitra felt the much-needed soothing wave of reassurance wash over her being, as the lips of Keshava pressed against her forehead, his lips lingering against her petal soft skin for a few moments.

"Let's not unnecessarily worry ourselves with the weight of the future before it arrives! We shall eventually endure it when the time arrives," he brushed off with a slight wave of his hand, as he pinched her nose with the fingers of the other. "Now, let me show you to a room, or shall I say your room, which shall aid you in your search for certain answers. It's right around this corner," he replied as they made a turn.

With the unsettling feeling still freshly seated within the centre of her mind, Mitra failed to acknowledge the large doorways leading to the chamber, till the duo had made their way right before it. The daughter of Karna felt herself tremble as she recognized the onset of a familiar feeling. The feeling she'd experienced one too many times, four years back on the fields of Kurukshetra, powered through her as she stared at the golden doorways before them - effectively shoving the feeling of uncertainty housing the central portion of her mind mere moments ago. 'Could this be?'

As the silver armour-clad guards pushed open the two heavy bars of gold, revealing a quick preview of the bedchamber within, Mitra was certain she saw the flash of a figure. A certain figure forever etched unforgettably within the depths of her heart, stand near the foot of the large plush bed, shielded from the superficial view of onlookers by an elaborately hanging canopy. The raven-hued, shoulder length curly locks of Arjuna Putra, and moon-like shine that emitted from the visage of Chandra Nandhan were not ones to miss. The late afternoon sunlight filtering in through the open windows, bounced off the rich royal blue silks adorning the midriff and legs of the young Krishna Shishya. The lightning quick appearance of his bright toothy grin, blending with the endless hanging strands of dove-white pearls forming the canopy, before the sudden disappearance of his profile - left the young princess unable to differentiate between reality and hallucination, as her eyes searched about the corners of the room, with a blurred vision.

"This will be your bedchamber for the remainder of your stay, and whenever you choose to come to Dwaraka, Priya," murmured Krishna, as he lovingly wrapped an arm around the shoulder of Mitra. "I believe you may already have a guess as to who this chamber belonged to..."

A tear drop slipped the edge of the blurred vision, as it rolled down the slope of the young Princess's chiselled jawline. Unable to control its release from her doe eyes, just as the pent-up emotions of her heart, that now flowed unrestrained along the lengths of the nerves housing her sympathetic nervous system.

"Brother Abhi...Brother Abhimanyu's," her quivering lips managed to stutter a response, as her lids temporarily shielded her vision, attempting to trap the traitor tears following their leader.

The walls of the room that had once echoed the cries of Subhadra Nandhan, as his mother had rocked him to sleep with a smile illuminating her enchanting features. Effectively masking the tears that threatened to slip past the mesmerizing eyes of the wife who longed for the return of her husband. The gem-engraved coral pillars of the room that had reverberated the laughter of the child Vijaya Nandhan running around the columns, his plump pink lips dripping with stolen makhan. The large windows with accompanying jewelled ivory cushioned seats, that had seated Raudra dhari, as he spent his late nights caressing the string of his revered bow; dreaming of the day he would be able to showcase his archery skills before the greatest Danurdhari himself. The light filtering in through the opened windows, under whose gaze the Dwaraka Prince had penned down his thoughts. The words that became answers for the questions instigated within heart of the Kuru Princess.

She exhaled a sigh as the flash of the young Prince returned once more to pleasantly torment her senses behind the closed lids of her eyes. Failing to differentiate the shine of his pearly smile, against the light of the phosphenes, Mitra found herself torn between questioning the accuracy of the image her sight had withheld upon the opening of the doorway, and the sorrow-tinged pleasure at being enveloped by the air once breathed by her beloved brother.

'I know I saw you, Brother. But...why did you disappear?'

Then the lips of the Kuru Princess curved up on their own accord, as her jhumka-adorned ears registered the incomprehensible chirp of a well-known friend, hailing from the family of koels, translating to 'I'm here!'

To Be Continued...

And that was Part XVII of Abhimanyu's Diary Series - hope you all enjoyed it! Please do leave your comments and thoughts as usual - I'd love to go through them after so long and see how you're liking it! 

Abhimanyu's diary series is coming to a closure soon, and I feel mixed emotions as if a wonderful journey is coming to an end...but there are many more twists and turns to go through before the journey of DaanveerPutri reaches its closure! 

Sorry again for the delayed update, and thank you for being so patient and supportive like always! 

Loads of love,

Geitha (Your Author Friend)