I feel like my world is ending.

This isn't like Hiroshi dying or my brother leaving or my sister getting kidnapped. It's not that severe, shattering pain that reverberates through your body and grips you like a vice.

It's one of those pains that is so intense that I almost feel nothing.

And that's how it's going to look. I don't know how to look at him, knowing what I've done. I don't know how to look at him know what he's done.

My phone is in my hand and his text is on the screen.

I'm outside, is all it says. He won't come in. He won't give me anymore than just those two words.

But I go anyway.

Dressed in my clothes from work, slacks, high neck blouse and red blazer, I step into the elevator, my hands shaking.

Shaking for a few reasons, but the most present fear seems to be that I'll have to use the gun holstered behind my back.

This is it.

I wish the trip of my floor to the bottom was quicker, but before I know it I am stepping into the lobby, my heels against the floor sounding much more confident than I am.

Heels are bad for the womb, I hear the words in my head. That's right; I'm existing for two now.

The doors slide open and I step out to find it has begun raining. How fitting to the end of a grey day. It's dark, but not late, so I turn left to the alleyway.

I know he's there before I enter. It's the pure presence he holds. Having experienced it for months I know it well.

With a deep breath, ignoring the rain falling on me and around me, I walk through the alley until I'm standing close to the centre. I fold my arms to avoid letting the chill set in.

I blink and he's there, standing in front of me, with at least ten metres between us.

Suddenly I feel small. Small and insignificant. I don't know what to say. He can speak first. He deserves that...Or is it the advantage he doesn't deserve?

Before either of us decide to take that first step, my attention is drawn upwards, to the building beside us.

Through the thunder and the rain I can still see her silhouette, looming over the alleyway and staring at us like she has the right to be here.

Before I know it I am ice.

"I'm not talking to you in front of your new girlfriend," I say, looking from her, to him, with disgust. If he thought it'd be fine to bring her here, he can think again.

"As his girlfriend, anything you have to say to Jason can be said to me as well."

...

...Ah...

Bang.

Within the second her words are said and I am unable to suppress my rage, I've reached around my back, got a hand on my gun, pulled it out and fired. 

Everything seems to happen within a few second. She pulls out her sword and either cuts or dodges the bullet, before flipping down off the building.

Jason is standing there like a spooked rabbit, looking both ways as if he doesn't know whose side to be on.

"Stop!" He shouts, holding his arm out to block her from moving past him towards me.

"Me!? She's the one that attacked-"

"She's not aiming for you," he says, looking at her like she's stupid.

What did he just say? Does he think I'm trying to spook her?

"Not aiming for her?" I repeat, glaring at him. I turn to her, asses the uniform and find a weakness above her leg armour.

He knows it's happening before she does. I pull the trigger, the bullet is airborn and Rose Slutbag Wilson drops to the floor, holding her leg with a scream.

That's all the daughter of Slade Wilson has to offer?

"Venus!" Jason growls, about to kneel down to get a look at the bullet wound in her thigh.

"Oh what!?" I shout, completely done with being the timid, apologetic suit. "You know who I am. Did you think she'd survive a confrontation with me!?" I raise the gun again, pointing it at her again. "Did you really think there'd be no retaliation from someone like me when you sleep with my boyfriend!?" 

I hear her grunt, trying to roll over and reach for her sword.

"Oh please! He's not your-"

Blinding rage. I am no longer Venus; that cool, calm persona. This is the angry sadist that enjoys the pain.

I'd fire again, but I hear the screeching breaks of a car behind me. I don't drop the gun as I hear a shout over my shoulder of my name.

Who told Dick we'd be here? Jason? It my phone hacked? Did one of the family find us?

"I suggest you get her out of here before I kill her," I say quietly, as Dick stops next to me.

Jason is helping Rose stand, the wound bleeding and mixing with the rain.

Without a word, Dick moves forward towards the silver-haired whore. Timidly, he loops one arm around her waist, holding her wrist in the other as she slides it over his shoulders.

I don't move as he carries her past me, to the open door of the car. Looking over my shoulder I see Damian sitting in the front seat, wide green eyes watching me. He didn't need to seen that.

And suddenly I can hear the rain and feel the pull in my abdominal muscles from how I drew my gun. I place a hand on my stomach. Careful. There's someone in there. 

I certainly don't feel bad for shooting her though.

Dick's car disappears down the road when I turn back to Jason, standing further back now.

This is it. This seems to be the moment our relationship has boiled down to. One fight in the whole pairing and now we're standing in an alleyway staring at each other.

"Fitting," he finally says, no strain of emotion in his muffled voice. I wish he weren't wearing that mask. I wish I was wearing mine. 

"How so?"

"First time I saw you was through the rain."

Of course it was. On the roof. I had taken my motorbike to talk with Batman and the Commissioner. Jason and Dick were assigned to protect me.

"And this is fitting how?" I manage to eliminate the shaking in my voice.

"Because the last time I'll see you is through this rain."

My stomach drops. I feel my arms jolt slightly. It's happening. It's really happening. 

"What did you think Venus? I'd just be able to pretend that you-"

"I didn't know," I interrupt, glad that it's raining. It can hide the tears.

"You didn't know? Couldn't recognize the woman in your dreams? Who has eyes like mine? Who I've told you about? Couldn't realise that you shot my mother in the head!?"

He storms forward a few steps like he's going to attack. That's almost too much. Too real. 

"How was I suppose to know Jason!?" I shout, panic really starting to rise in my system. This is going to destroy everything.

"You shot my mother," is all he says, a vain laugh coming from him as he drifts back. "From the moment you pulled the trigger it's been the end for us."

"Your mother was a drug designing pimp working for Brick! What was I suppose to do? I shot hundreds during those years! People who'd done less than her! You know when I found her she was trafficking little girls, right?"

He shakes his head, "She was coming back for me."

I nearly want to laugh at the fact that he really believes that.

"And if she had you'd be just the same as she was right now."

"If she had I wouldn't have been stuck with my drug dealing step-mother. Wouldn't have had to put up with all the shit I did on the streets in Crime Alley-"

"-Never would have met Bruce, or Dick, or Tim. Never learnt the skills or wore the uniform or-"

"Died!?" 

I stop talking, looking away from him towards the wall.

"I can't believe you're trying to justify you murdering my mother. You make me sick."

The ability to keep emotion from my face wavers. I shut my eyes for a second.

"How many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers...do you think you've killed in the past year, huh?" I ask.

He doesn't answer. The pain in my chest is a thrum I've never gotten used to. But now it's going to be there forever.

Because we have a child. When he speaks again, each word cuts into me at the ribs.

"I'm done. We're done. Don't call me, don't text me, don't expect help from me, don't expect to see me at the foundation parties, don't expect me to remember your name in ten years. You're the cause of every shitty thing that's ever happened to me, because you took my mother away."

I have to bite my lip to hold off the grieved yelp I want to let out. This is it. We're done.

No more warmth in the bed beside me, waking up to gentle green eyes. No more kisses that promise a loving future. No one holding me after nightmares.

No more Jason.

Unless....

It comes out as a hiccough. I must look a mess with mascara down my face and my hair hanging wet and messy.

"I'm pregnant."

Just barely through the shadows and rain I see him stop immediately, leather jacket back facing me.

Please. We don't have to be okay. Not now. Not ever. Just...don't leave me. Don't make me face this on my own. 

"How-"

"The pit. Ten weeks," I call out, the rain only getting heavier on top of us. There's a rumble of thunder I don't even react to.

I wait, every muscle in my body tense. 

Slowly, oh, it's the slowest thing in the world, he begins to turn around, barely even moving. My nails are cutting my palm and my teeth are grinding.

"Keep it away from me."

Just like that, my world comes apart. Everything shatters; my image of what we'd look like as a family. What kind of dad Jason would be...what kind of mother I would be.

He disappears and I can't even bring myself to breathe.

Pain. I had always been at peace with pain. That's why those names are tattooed on this inside of my wrist. It's why that quote is across my chest.

But this pain is too much. It isn't pleasurable or a good reminder. It's just pain.

One hundred and eighty seven days together has boiled down to him gone and me kneeling in an alleyway.

He's gone. He's gone, he's gone, he's gone. 

I ruined my own life. How am I going to raise a child on my own in my line of work with my type of enemies? What am I going to tell my daughter or son about their father? How do I tell them I killed their grandmother?

I press one hand against my chest. It is overwhelming. It's...fear and anger and sadness....But most of all it's heartbreak.

There won't ever be anyone else.

"Dickhead said I might find you here." 

The voice is so unfamiliar I think of drawing my gun for a second. If it is someone who means me harm...I almost want to say who cares? 

Maybe me dying, getting shot where he left me, would cause him pain.

When I put a shaky hand on the nasty-ass garbage bin beside me, the person places their hand on my waist.

"It's alright. I heard. Be careful," I realise who it is then.

Without even looking at her, I turn around and vault into Ginger's arms, wrapping my own around her neck. It's been so long since I've seen her.

"Come on," she mumbles, helping support my quivering form. "Let's go home."

The word home echoes around in my head, empty. It's supposed to mean something; but it means nothing.

I don't look up as we walk through the lobby doors, or into the elevator. It's in there that I finally fall to the smallest of pieces.

My own crying reverberates off of the elevator walls. My sister pets my hair, listens to me cry and helps me into the apartment when the doors slide open.

Gently and slowly, she begins leading me over to the bathroom. As she gets me to sit on the edge of the bath, turning on the taps, I can hear my fathers words in my head.

"All is cold. The chill in my skin compares not to the sudden ice in my soul. You, to whom I have given everything, return only the destruction of what I had built for us; a warm place in my heart. And yet, I'd still let you, my love, remain there only to slowly kill me. For a moment longer with your warmth I would endure an eternity of frost."

I am a sadist, but this pain is too much. The love of my life is a sinner, but it was my sin that tore us apart.

This is no fairytale. It was never going to be a happy ending for us. For The Sinner and the Sadist.

~

.....OH MY GODDESS.

IT'S DONE.

IT'S DONE.

....HOLY SHIT.

So this is the final chapter of the first book, and I can happily announce the second one will start soon!! However it's beginning requires a small survey to be completed.

CLICK EXTERNAL LINK OR go here https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/SJ7RPHM OR CLICK IN COMMENTS! Please check it out, it's vital to the next book :)

I just want to say that the audience of this book is very loving and accepting, probs my most yet. Writing TSATS was very entertaining, with a character I fell in love with very fast. And, I love all of you!!

Because I don't want to leave anyone out, I won't do tags. But I'm sure you know who you are.

I'd also like to mention that the One Shot Comp is still open!!

Other than that, all I can say is;

Taken during class with my bff who is always there for me (and beside me. all day :3) in the place I do most of my writing!

For the last time:

I love you all,

Stay magical!

Be safe.

-Kaido XxXxXxOoOoOo