Chapter Sixteen

Inundated

عن أبي سعيد عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما يصيب المسلم من نصب و لا وصب و لا هم ولا حزن ولا أذى ولا غم حتى الشوكة يشاكها إلا كفر الله بها من خطاياه، متفق إليه، مشكواة.

Sayyidian Abi Sa'eed narrates from Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم: "Any Muslim who experiences any hardship, discomfort, sorrow, grief,and distress, even a thorn-prick, but Allaah سبحانه وتعالى will make it an atonement for his sins."

- Bukhaari, Muslim, Mishkaat.

* * *

The knowledge of our future, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى alone knows. Allaah سبحانه وتعالى's knowledge is so vast; throughout our lives, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows the amount of breaths we take, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows the number of times we blink our eyes, every palpitation of our heart, each movement of our limbs. Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows every word that we utter, every thought that we ponder and every action that we perform.

Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows how many morsels of food satiate us, how many drops of water quenches our thirst. Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows the happiness that we will be blessed with, Allaahسبحانه وتعالى knows the calamities that will befall us. Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows when each person will be born, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows when each person will die.

Destiny has been written, the pens have been lifted, and the ink has dried up. What Allaah سبحانه وتعالى has ordained for you, can never be avoided, no matter how hard you try to espace from it. What Allaah سبحانه وتعالى has prevented, can never be attained, no matter how hard you try and achieve it.

Uthmaan rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, as he recited the Tasbih Faatimi on the fingers of his right hand. He had fallen asleep by her beside, hence the stiff neck.

He gazed at his wife as she lay unconscious, unmoving, on the hospital bed; her lips were sealed, her eyes were closed, her long eye lashes touched the top of her cheeks, her face serene. The sound of the beeping monitor filled the room.

Tears trickled down his face, as he supplicated to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى for the recovery of his dear wife.

Yes, they had argued countless of times. No doubt, they had been experiencing a rocky marriage recently, but he still loved her the way he always did, infact even more after she had given birth to their beautiful daughter, and now after the accident, he realised what a valuable part of his life he had almost lost.

The only reason he argued with her and disagreed with her was because he cared about her Deen and Aakhirah. He could not see her like his, he could not bear this site, it broke his heart into uncountable fragments.

He was inundated with an array of emotions. Regret, perhaps he was too harsh on her and should have continued with his soft and patient approach. Fear, he was extremely afraid of losing her. Anger, he still didn't know who the guy in the car was, neither did he have the heart to tell Bilaal to enquire from his sister. Betrayal, he trusted Raeesa with all his heart and she had broken his trust. Ashamed that his wife had found another man as company, perhaps he was not good enough for her. He felt heartbroken at the thought.

He stood up from the musalla, and settled on the chair beside her bed once again.

He held her hand, as tears trickled down his face.

He could not jump to conclusions and make assumptions without verifying anything. Shaytaan was inciting him with evil thoughts. He would wait for her to wake up and he would ask her for an explanation.

He felt anxious, his heart leaped with sorrow, but he refused to become depressed. Instead, he recited the du'aa for anxiety and sorrow;

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي عَبْدُكَ، ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ، ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ، نَاصِيَتِي بِيَدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤُكَ، أَسْأَلُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ، سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ، أَوْ أَنْزَلْتَهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ، أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْبِ عِنْـدَكَ، أَنْ تَجْعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيعَ قَلْبِي، وَنُورَ صَدْرِي، وجَلَاءَ حُزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّي

Oh Allaah, I am your slave and the son of your male slave and the son of your female slave. My forehead is in Your hand (i.e you have control over me). Your judgment upon me is assured and Your decree concerning me is just. I ask You by every name that you have named Yourself with, revealed in Your book, taught anyone of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You, to make the Qur'aan the spirit of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَ الْحَزَنِ، وَالعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، والبُخْلِ والْجُبْنِ، وضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Oh Allaah, I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men.

Just as he ended his supplication, the doctor walked, holding some files and documents.

He placed them on the table, at the foot of the bed and gave Uthmaan a small, reassuring smile.

"Mr Hussain, I would like to have a word with you regarding your wife's complications and recovery."

Uthmaan nodded, as he stood up, his heart began pounding violently.

Complications...Ya Allaah!
What kind of complications?
Did they doctor not discuss all this with him already?

They walked out of the ward, not wanting Raeesa to hear their discussion. The medical team had not yet discussed any of her complications with her.

Dr Harris sighed. He didn't think that Bilaal grasped the severity of the situation when he explained it to him before. Perhaps he was still stunned at that time. He wanted to clarify everything.
He was a man of precision, perfection and adequacy. He made sure that his patients as well as their family members were well informed.

"Your wife has some cuts on her face, thankfully they are not major, besides for the gash on her right cheek. That had to be stitched, but also not something to worry about. It will heal. The same with her arms, there are few cuts here and there, nothing serious.
Her spine was injured and she has serious leg injuries. She broke a few bones. Due to the severity of the spine and leg injuries, she most probably will never be able to walk again. If she's lucky, she may walk again some day. After about two weeks, she may see a therapist, who will assist her with leg exercises etc.."

Uthmaan blinked, a blank look on his face.

"Um, doctor haven't you told me this already?"

Doctor Harris have him a strange look. "Yes, I have. I just wanted to make sure that you had understood. You had no reaction towards what I had told you, you just uttered some foreign words and asked if you could see your wife."

Uthmaan smiled slightly.
"Don't worry doctor, I did understand every word. Thank you for making certain."

"Your wife may not be able to walk again, she may be confined to a wheelchair her entire life."
He emphasized, as if trying to knock some sense into him.

At first he thought maybe the two were separated or had some issues, and Uthmaan simply didn't care, that is why Uthmaan had no reaction, but when he observed Uthmaan and his behavior with his wife, he was sure it was not the case.

Uthmaan smiled.
"Yes doctor, I did comprehend what you had told me the last time, and I'm in my senses now as well." He joked.

"With all due respect, I hope I'm not being too nosy with this question. I am being very unprofessional for sure..."
He trailed off, not sure what to say next.

"Go on Doctor, I really won't take offense."

"You see, usually when a patient's family hear something like this they grieve, they look so helpless. The reaction you gave me was a totally calm and controlled one. Are you not a doctor yourself perchance? Or a medical student perhaps? Hence, you already expected these complications."

Uthmaan chuckled.
"None of the two. I guess I'm naturally a very composed person. I am very worried about this whole situation doc, but all conditions come from our Creator. I'm just so thankful that she's still alive and thanks to our Creator that it's not something worse. It could have been worse."

Dr Darris nodded, amazed.

"Such firm faith is really an admirable thing Mr Uthmaan, not alot of people think that way.
Anyway, I have other patients to check on, I will meet with you again. God bless you."
He stretched his hand out.

Uthmaan returned the handshake.
"You too. Thank you!"

* * *

Basheera rocked Munawara to sleep, as Roshan sniffled, while arranging the pillows in a comfortable position for her little niece.

Basheera had managed to compose herself, she had to be strong for the little angel cuddled in her arms. As for Raeesa's family, none of them had taken the news well. Roshan still dealt with the news in a better way than her parents did. They were absolutely devastated.

Basheera laid Munawara down for her afternoon nap, then gently kissed her head.

"Poor baby, she's missing her mother so much. How do we even explain to her when her mum is going to return?"
Roshan stated, her voice cracking.

Basheera'a eyes began to water. She swallowed the lump in her throat. This sadness, this grief, the trips to the hospital, Roshan's concern, brought back memories she so badly wanted to bury somewhere deep down, never allowing them to surface again. This time, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't do it. She needed to vent out her sorrows. Raeesa already knew all this, and she would never mind if Basheera had to vent out the same things all over again.

Basheera sighed, as she sat on the bed beside Roshan. She held her hand, passing her a watery smile.

" I know exactly how you feel Roshan. I was once in the same situation as you, and till today I relive every second of those moments."

Rohshan looked up surprised.
"I didn't expect you to mention this to me. I don't know the whole story, because Raeesa never ever told us, but I do know you've also been through alot."

Without Roshan even asking, Basheera began to relate and share the demons that haunted her every night.

"My twin sister, Nazeera was also in a critical condition before she passed away at the hospital."

"I do remember that."

Basheera swallowed the lump in her throat.
"It was just five years ago and it feels like it was such a long time ago. She was only married for a year, maybe not even a full year.
She had a tough marriage, she had an abusive husband, but she never told her in-laws anything. She never told us anything! He never ever hit her on her face, so it was easy for her to hide all the other marks."

Two streams of tears ran down her cheeks.

"Do you know what was the reason for his abuse?"
Basheera questioned.

Roshan shook her head.

"Photography addiction. He was heavily addicted to it. Whatever he saw on the screen, he wanted in reality, whether it was permissible in Islaam or not. When Nazeera refused to comply, he would beat her up."

Rohshan's jaw dropped.

"But he didn't look like that type of a person at all Basheera!"

Basheera nodded.
"Looks can be deceiving! That's why they say don't judge a book by its cover. Not everyone who looks righteous outwardly is righteous inwardly. Ofcourse righteous poeple do exist, but I'm just so scared to get into a marriage. I'm so scared of being deceived the way Nazeera was. I'm so scared of being abused, or forced to do things that is contrary to Shari'ah."

"When Nazeera had finally had enough, after a huge argument with him. She decided to bring the matter up with her mother-in-law, when they visited them the next day. Her mother-in-law was very understanding and even promised to try and speak to her son. He happened to overhear their conversation. When they reached home, he hit her the most that he ever did. For the first time, he even hit her face. She was bloodied and bruised in various places. He kicked her in her ribs and stomach many times. He was merciless."

She sobbed, while Roshan held her in a tight embrace.

"You know what's the worst part? After he beat her up, he left her to bleed and ran off. She somehow managed to get hold of Bilaal. We took her to the hospital, she had some severe abdominal injuries and some deep head injuries. She had lost a lot of blood, but there was hope of recovery. She also.... she also lost her baby!"

Roshan gasped.
"She was pregnant!"

Basheera nodded.
"Three months. That's the main reason why she built up the courage to try and help her husband with his addiction issues."

"Did he know?"
Roshan questioned, afraid to hear the answer.

"No. Perhaps if he did, he would have never hit her. She wanted to surprise him, she hoped the news would make him realize that he would be a father soon, and it would encourage him to change."

"Perhaps she delayed it till so long, because she doubted whether it would make a difference to him."

Basheera nodded in agreement.
"That's what I also thought, but I never got a chance to ask her. I waited for her to recover first, then I would ask her everything, but just as she was recovering, she passed away. Eleven days after the incident."

Roshan held her hand again.
"We can say it was because she was beaten, we can say it was because of depression and heartache, or because of the pain of losing a child, but the fact remains the same. These are all excuses, her time to return to Allah سبحانه وتعالى was fixed."

Basheera smiled.
"No doubt! She's in a better place in Shaa Allaah. No grief, no sorrow, and no pain."

"In Shaa Allaah."
Roshan whispered.

The time of life, the time of death, everything is recorded by Allaah سبحانه وتعالى, Who in His infinite wisdom knows best when and why each thing needs to take place at its appointed time. Our limited knowledge and small minds cannot comprehend the vast knowledge and majestic wisdom of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى .
Fortunate are those with the qualities of forbearance, those who when a calamity strikes, utter إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون. To Allaah we belong and unto Him we shall return. Fortunate are those who accept every decree of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى wholeheartedly and never question the decree of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى د. Fortunate are those who turn to Allaahسبحانه وتعالى and become closer to Him in times of need, and don't run further away from Him.

May Allaah سبحانه وتعالى make us all amongst those people.

* * *

Assalamualaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.

I hope all of my lovely sisters are in the best state of Imaan and the best of health.❤

I have touched upon a taboo topic. In Shaa Allah there will be a separate story written on this topic of pnography. The book is already up on my profile, but will be continued at a later stage in Shaa Allaah.
Tainted Trusts is the name of the book.