He was just sort of beginning to forgive the air that was once around his mother, but it seemed the universe just didn't want to give him the time to heal.

"Okay, I know you don't want to talk about this more after doing so much research and I might be overstepping here..." Connie trailed to a stop and set down her notebook to bring Steven into her chest. He looked so heartbroken, so destroyed and utterly devastated at the new developments. "Let it out, baby."

He shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to break your house." And then he clung to her and wept anyways. 

When her desk rattled, her lips never stopped kissing the top of his head. When their favorite childhood picture fell and the fancy frame cracked, her fingers never stilled from combing through his hair.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," She whispered confidently. How could she be so confident when he was so weak and broken?  "I promise."

He slackened his grip and sighed, his tears starting to slow. "S-sorry. I cried over your jeans and–,"

"I am the healthiest I've ever been in my life. I feel like I'm on crack." Connie laughed.

"Connie! Don't say that!" He yelped. In her senior year of high school she got really really extra pretty. Her hair was long and lustrous in its now signature high ponytail that never seemed to include the wisps on the side. Her lips and... everywhere else had gotten curvier. With a girl as pretty as she was, he couldn't possibly try to drag her down with him.

"𝑺𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚. 𝑾𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓."

His eyes started to sting but he got the words out. "Even... even if you do stay, we... we don't have to... do this anymore."

Connie froze and their eyes locked. "Are you breaking up with me, Steven?"

The silence was unbearable as he tried to get himself to speak again. "N-no! Yes! But only if you can't handle–,"

"I can handle anything Steven!" She gritted her teeth and hugged him hard. "As long as you don't–,"

"I could never! It's them I'm worried about!" They both had the same idea, to press their lips together and douse the panic for a split second.

She pressed her forehead to him and gently rubbed her nose against his. "We're going to figure this out. We've got plenty of time."

His breathing evened out and he sat up. "Connie." She looked up at him in question and he blushed. "Could– could you sit on my lap again?"

Connie glanced toward her door and bit her lip. "I guess my parents are downstairs... Yeah but if you hear steps literally throw me to the other side of the room."

"When did you get so good at lying?" He murmured sadly, scooping her into him as if she were feather light.

She kissed under his ear and pulled out her notebook. "When I realized the world is not black and white. Every political system is failure in the end and everyone's a liar and a cheat to an extent. Every time it started raining in November and people told me climate change doesn't exist, I died a little inside. Sometimes I feel like I can feel how fucked we are as a species looming over my shoulder and–," Her rant stopped abruptly and she let out a shaky laugh. "Sorry. I guess you're not the only one going through stuff."

"Uh, yeah, I guess. That was really freaking dark, Connie." His hand found the side of her face and turned her to face him. "We've got this."

"Are we getting older again?" She mumbled against his lips. "Is this going to keep happening forever?"

His arms rested around her waist now, much more intimate and almost feeling like it shouldn't be allowed. "If you mean being aged up involuntarily, then yes. It's the life we chose without having a choice, apparently."

A tiny flash of light glowed between them fora split second and they pulled apart a bit in shame.

"Definitely a bad reason to fuse."

"Nothing but trouble there," Connie agreed.

It faded away and she collapsed into him again. "Okay, I've got my notebook and color coded pens. We're going to figure out your..." She lost her gusto momentarily and looked up at him. "Is there a name for... behind the scenes?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm almost as out of the loop as you are... I'm pretty sure they don't..." They don't like me. "I don't get any clearance to connect memories?"

"Most people call it their system and usually there's an area of space in your mindscape that kind of can act as a sort of... personality anchor system?" She watched his eyes glaze over and huffed. "It's like the CEO lounge in Dogcopter 12: The Busimutt."

Normally it would have made him smile, but he grew dizzy. "How do I get there?"

"We're going to get as much information as possible. First we're writing down what we do know." Connie clicked the pen a few times and frowned. "No, bigger." Her phone came out of her back pocket and Steven held back a squeal when her hands accidentally dug into his upper thigh. "Okay, this is easier. I can make a spreadsheet and for every new alter we find out about, we can add information to the directory."

If only he was young and dumb enough to hope this would be fun instead of soul flattening. But at this point he hadn't much else to lose and no energy to stop the rest from happening. "Yeah, alright."

"You're Ste-ven. I know Aslan... Aaand the lovely gem himself, Diamond." Her deft fingers were his only amusement. To type that fast showed she did it often, and some part of his brain thought of Connie texting like an average teenager was cute. More so because they'd both realized there was no way back to normal anymore, and no way forward, and that left them stationary for things to catch up. "Hm. Have you ever met anyone named Aslan?"

"No... I don't think so." He focused most of his attention on the beginning of the stairwell, hoping he wouldn't miss a stray creak of a suspicious parent sneaking up on them.

"Let's look it up." She closed out quickly and typed out the name. " Huh... it means Lion."

Steven flushed. "I don't know anyone named Aslan but I uhm... please don't get any ideas that I was getting ideas but I stumbled across a baby name dictionary and again I want to remind you I was just goofing off with no intention of knocking you up. And I think I liked that one, not for now mind you, I just like names."

"𝓥𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓼𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓽𝓱"

"Nɪᴄᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ, Hᴏᴛsʜᴏᴛ."

"Welcome to the world, meet your two parents that are both far too old and far too young to parent you right. Yay," She drawled. She tapped on his chest and kissed it just to feel his heart start to race faster. "It's fine, I get it. And?"

He tried not to shift too much as he picked her up and set her down facing him. She gave him a pouty look but he held a finger to his lips. "Yeah so anyways, I guess he nabbed the name from that book I read." His voice was calm and guiltless. The finger dropped just as Dr. Maheswaren walked in.

"How's it going, you two?" She asked innocently.

"Just trying to figure all of this out, I guess." He heaved a shaky sigh. "It's all just so hard. I hate feeling like this."

The doctor patted his head sympathetically. "Well I'll leave you to it, but you should probably be headed home in an hour and a half."

"Three hours." Haggling was yet another persuasion skill Connie had learned from overprotective parents. She had upper initiative, even with her mom's unamused expression.

"Two hours and five minutes. That's my highest offer." Her mother was trying to be more lenient these days, especially with Steven wiping away a tear and looking guilty.

"We'll take it, I just don't want to be alone right now." Steven sniffled obnoxiously and turned away so Priyanka wouldn't see him cry.

"You're always welcome when Connie's not busy," She said warmly. "Let us know if you need anything." Her trip down the stairs was more noisy this time which masked the sound of her scooting closer again.

As soon as her mom was out of sight, he smiled at her like the cat that ate the canary. "What do you think? I'm a pretty good liar too, if I do say so myself."

"That last part was a bit extra, Steven," Connie chortled. "Just a tish."

"At least give me a scoring system," He pleaded with all the feeling he had just to make her laugh again.

Connie snorted and wiggled her fingers to the side while she thought up a score. "There were a few fuck ups. Puppy dog eyes don't work for most audiences anymore, very outdated. You were a bit wordy with your persuasion. But the worst mistake that put you at an 8.26 was–,"

"Alright, dramatic head turn is a no-go. Got it." His arms wrapped around her and he sighed. "The last thing I remember is disassociating. Everything got heavy and sound just drove past my ears instead of into them. And pain. There was a splitting headache and my gem started activating funny."

She hummed as the next question was conceived in her mind. "Was the intensity of it going up or down?"

"I-I don't know." His mind was a bit fogged now, it was like he couldn't remember the sensation fully. "It'd have to happen again for me to know what you mean?"

Connie looked frustrated for a moment, then her eyes rose to his and she sucked in a tense breath. "I am trusting you to trust me when I tell you not to look."

"Do you need to change?" He liked this outfit, it was cute. She shook her head and he sighed his relief to her giggle.

"No... just... turn around." She got off of him and turned him to the wall facing the end of her bed. "I have something that we can try to help you remember what it was like, but I swear if you look I'll call my mom up here and tell her you got me pregnant."

Steven smirked. "You wouldn't dare."

"I dunno, care to test that theory?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Of course not. Just don't touch me with anything weird."

"Beggars can't be choosers. It'll be over your shirt. Just... don't look." He felt her move away and dig through her bedside drawer. If he settled his mind he could hear her opening a pouch, the soft zipping sound almost provocative.

Something dull and hard pressed into his back, just off of his left shoulder blade. "Okay, pay attention. I'm going to show you what it would feel like if it was going up in intensity or down. Let me know if it's overstimulating but the blood flow might be helpful for you. Or you know. Way worse." A quick button click and it started vibrating against a sore spot he didn't know he had. His lips parted to grunt and exhale slowly.

The TV downstairs turned down noticeably.

"So, is there a role for every shard?" He asked nonchalantly and a bit loud.

Connie snickered. "Well there's a protector, sometimes an inner child, usually someone who files away stuff who knows most of that goes on..." She tilted her head as she actually thought more about it. "Actually, maybe that's who we should try to find out about first."

Steven nodded quietly, letting the rumbles soothe him. The TV turned back up and Steven smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now don't make any more noises, they're going to think–,"

"Nuh uh. No." His gem was pulsing before he even finished and he was gripped with fear. "C-Connie!"

Instantly she tucked whatever it was away and crouched in front of him. "Okay, killing two birds with one stone today. Got a nice little knot out cause we got distracted." Both of her hands were wrapped tightly around his own as she watched his face contort in pain briefly. "I'm right here, Steven. It's going to be okay, okay?"

He only stared and felt the world around him turn into molasses. Touch and sound and light were muted. He felt like he could see through everything, and that everything was in the way at the same time.

Her hands pulled away as she watched his body shimmer into another form. "–amn it, I already know this one."

Aslan raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Don't sound too excited to see me."

"No! I just meant... We can start with you," She sighed.

"With me? Doing what?" He didn't like that they were still doing tasks when he could feel how exhausted this body was. And why did their stomach hurt so badly? When was the last time they ate? "We don't need your help."

"You ever been drawn nude?" She asked as she got onto her stomach.

His face didn't react, not even when from this angle her eyes sparkled a bit. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, it's basically the same thing except we're getting you emotionally naked. We've gotta see all the cogs with no curtain."

Aslan leaned away a fraction. "Sounds like a lot of invading my privacy."

"ⵊ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏꜰ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴄʏ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴᴠᴀᴅᴇᴅ. Zɪɴɢ!"

Stars and Diamonds, Diamond was fucking annoying. Less than a week of existing and he was already a pain in his ass.

She rolled her eyes and glared at him. "How about I make it worth your while?"

"And how would you appeal to my pathos if you borderline annoy me anyhow?"

Her tongue darted out to lick her lips and she brought her face an inch from his. "I can still make it worth your while... If I've got something in my mouth," Her breath landed hot against his neck and he tensed with everything he had not to push her away or pull her closer. "Then I won't be so talkative."

"That's... Quite the offer," He mumbled. A moment of dreaded clarity shouted five reactions to that tease. Stevens by far was the most visceral reaction, he recoiled so hard in hormonal panic that Aslan almost did too.

"We can go to that Hibachi place we love for dinner next time we hang out and stuff our faces, or rather, whosever out. I do think when you're out since you seem to be second in command. Maybe we can figure out your role." She pulled away again, her body heat moving from his as suddenly as it had come.

"𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮!"

Connie chuckled at him and crossed her legs like a lady. "Sometimes you have to play to the audience to get what you want."

He hadn't realized it had passed through his mouth from whoever shouted it. "I didn't realize you were so manipulative."

He expected a sharp change in her aura, something in his mind knew that most people didn't like being called manipulative, especially if they were. She looked up from a note she was writing, a brow twitching like it wanted to be raised but expressionless and unbothered. "Not manipulative necessarily, fun. You should try it sometime."

Fun. Fun was reserved for children and unemployed billionaires and people who've never had to save the world before. Not for protectors, or war hero's, or mediators. His preference was to work, and there could not be both at once. But for some reason he found himself firing back, "How am I not fun? I can be fun."

"Hey, you two! We have to make an emergency run before that storm system gets any closer. It looks like it's going to get dangerous," Her mom called.

Doug cleared his throat. "I know you're both almost adults, but there's cameras everywhere! We'll be back in 2 1/2 minutes!"

Priyanka laughed as Doug pushed her out the door before she could correct him.

That mischievous smile was near frightening. "Let's see, I believe we were talking about all the ways you aren't fun. Where do I start? Your tone of voice is about as festive as a noose, you dress like a pretty boy edgelord–,"

Aslan leaned a bit closer to her and cooed, "Aw, the blabbermouth thinks I'm pretty."

She gagged and clutched at her throat. "Wouldn't you like to be able to think that? Wouldn't that be swell? I'd be willing to bet you shower after every meal. I can definitely see you being a hygiene freak."

Heat rushed to his face. "It was one day I did that. Greg shouldn't have even told you anything." He scowled deeply. Seemed like this Greg wasn't to be trusted with the matters of would be embarrassing topics. Steven would be humiliated if Connie found out he was the one forcing him to shower multiple times a day. "We're dirty inside," Steven would whisper, and because Aslan truly only cared about his system and nothing else, he'd dropped the conversation with Greg immediately to satiate the need. He wouldn't do it forever, but he could handle the burden and treat against dry skin and why is this damn girl kicking him?

"Hey, if you wanna be an edgelord and start brooding, I'm going to have to ask you to do it in the bathroom." She pointed towards her door and he scowled.

"I'm not an edgelord!" He bared his teeth behind a snarl when she rolled her eyes.

"I said if–,"

"It was implied!" His body took over when she lunged for him to try and pin him.

"P-pay attention!" She grumbled through gasps of effort. "Why are you so argumentative?"

Aslan found his strength and flipped them over easily. "Why are you so nosy and rude? I win."

She went limp and folded her arms. "Get off of me, pretty boy."

He sat back against her wall and mumbled a few choice words. "Fine. I'll do the stupid and invasive and unnecessary thing so you shut up about it and leave us alone. You know we're dang–,"

"Yawn!" Connie moved off the bed to a spinny office chair. It spun a few times and she giggled as it stopped facing him. "I have seen you guys as a monster, this feels like entry level shit." She reached out and tried to boop his nose. Aslan dodged the attack easily. "I had to wing that stuff off of the top of my head. This has instructions, people can live with this, there's people like you guys out there in this sense."

He let that thought simmer while he answered more questions.