Navia

I woke to the smell of peppermint. Blearily, I made out Sabien across the room from me. I sat up and blinked sleep from my eyes. "What are you doing up?" I asked in a carrying whisper.

The boy looked up in surprise. "Sorry, did I wake you?" He shook his hair from his eyes as he made his way over. "I didn't mean to."

"Mm." I ignored the apology and patted the bed beside me.

Sabien took the cue and sat down. "It's actually not that early." He murmured after a moment of quiet.

"It is before dawn. Therefore it is early." I retorted, reaching over to thread my fingers through his, which were fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Why are you up though?"

He sighed and shifted. "I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" I squeezed his hand.

He stared out the small window across the room. He was right, it wasn't that early. Sunrise was actually already brightening the sky. "I was thinking about them."

It took me a moment to realize who he was talking about. His family. We'd received a letter, short and rude, from his mother a few weeks earlier. It bore the news that his brothers— all eight of them— had been fighting against the Greencloaks. Six were confirmed dead. The other two hadn't come home.

I pulled him closer and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. I didn't know much about Sabien's family, if I was honest. They weren't very close.

"I can't stop thinking that... what if it was our fault?" Sabien's voice trembled. "What if—"

"Hey, no, don't." I shook my head. "Don't do that, okay? There's nothing you could've done."

He sighed shakily. "I know."

A beat of silence stretched between us.

"I wish we were closer." Sabien said finally. "We fought all the time, all of us. Ma was horrible— and not just to me. She scared all of them, but when Chris, my oldest brother, got older, she stopped trying things. He stood a head taller than everyone. Ma said he reminded her of Theis."

"Theis?" I interjected curiously. It was a name I'd never heard him say before.

"Yeah. My parent. Their name was Theisan but we all called them Theis." He paused. "They died when I turned six. Ma only really started tormenting us after that. She didn't know what to do with her grief, I guess." He smiled bitterly.

"What was it like, before Theis died?" I asked. He rarely opened up about his family, so I couldn't stop myself.

"It was great. They loved all of us, would take us for trips— they travelled a lot for their work as a ship repairer. Made lots of money, too." He shrugged. "I don't really remember too much of it, to be honest. I was young."

"What do you remember?"

He hummed thoughtfully. "They had a crooked nose, from when they broke it swimming in the reefs. Um, they could sing a bit. They always sang when they worked. Y'know, sea chanties and stuff. And they knew every species of fish. I learned so much about fish from them."

I closed my eyes, picturing it.

"They loved Christmas. Loved to decorate, to give gifts, to be with family. Every bit of it." He bit his lip. "And they had a spirit animal."

I raised a brow. "What kind?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. "By the time me and my brothers were born, they'd been without it for a while."

"Their spirit animal died?" I resisted the urge to touch Cerco's tattoo on the back of my neck.

"Yeah. That's all I know about it." He lapsed into silence.

I squeezed his hand again. "Hey, listen. We can't change the past or anything that happened. But we can enjoy the present. And the present is two days from Christmas."

Sabien nodded slowly, uncomprehending. Warm light spilled onto his face as the sun crept into the sky, turning his features a glowing gold.

"Let's celebrate this year. We'll decorate, and give gifts, just like Theis loved. And yeah, we'll mourn your brothers." I smiled and reached up to cup his chin. "No more what-ifs though. Okay?"

"Okay." Sabien's lips quirked upward.

"Okay?" I repeated, teasing, as I sensed his unease dissipating.

Sabien giggled. "Okay, okay!" He leaned in a captured my lips in his. "Thanks." He mumbled as he pulled away.

"Of course." I smiled warmly. "Now come on. If we're gonna pull this off, we better start now!" I hopped off the bed.

Sabien laughed as he followed, but his eyes were brighter than they had been since we'd first received the letter.

We spent the day decorating, working, and enjoying the present. The early gifts we'd received by mail— so far something from Lucia, and something from (surprisingly) Tyler had arrived— were placed at the base of a rather prickly Christmas tree.

Sabien laughed so hard he almost cried when I tried to balance the star on top of the tree— it only took me twenty tries, give or take. The sound made me smile as well, although I pretended to be pissed at him.

After dinner, we settled onto the bed. I curled my knees up to my chest and leaned my head on Sabien's shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me and used the other to pulled the blanket over us.

"I think," Sabien said after a long moment of quiet. "That you're my family."

I glanced up at him. "Mhm?"

"Yeah." He turned and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Maybe not by blood, but we of all people should know that it takes way more than that to be family."

I chuckled softly. "Thank you," I murmured finally.

"What for?"

"For letting me be your family."

He nodded gently. "Thank you for staying."

I pulled myself closer to him. He rested his cheek on my head, and I thought to myself, Christmas really is for family.

ew cheesy
anyway happy holidays as always
sorry it's late!! i've been to like two million christmas parties in the last three days (help)
stay safe my lovelies!!! xxx

edit: 23/12/22
"thank you for staying" why is this making me sob
anyways enjoy my critters