this is over 2k words, i'm living and crying

twenty-one: a turn of events

I wasn't very far from the bar when I thought I heard my name, a sound echoing through the snowy night and I was almost positive I was just imagining things. I kept walking forward, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I shake my head.

But then I could've sworn I heard it again, this time the sound clearer and closer. I turn around, a confused expression on my face. It was hard to see due to the fact the sun had already set, the only light source coming from street lamps, but I could swear there was someone walking towards me. It took me longer than I cared to admit to recognize Niall, my heart skipping a beat when he flashes me a smile. 

"Hey."

"Hi... Uh... What are you doing?" I asked him because last I checked, we weren't really on talking terms. 

"I figured you could use the company." Niall says, but that doesn't really answer my question. 

"I really don't. You can go back to your party, I'll be fi-" 

"Harry, just shut up and let me walk with you." Niall says, the tone of his voice almost daring me to defy him. I let out a sigh, before I just gave in. 

"Fine, you can walk me home." I said and maybe I'm a little bitter but I felt like I had earned that right.

"Great. Lead the way, Prince." Niall says, waiting patiently for me to continue walking. I look at him a little apprehensively before I finally just started to walk, Niall falling in line next to me. We walked in silence for what felt like an eternity, mainly because neither of us really knew what to say. 

"Liam's worried about you..." Niall says, breaking the silence and earning a snort from me. 

"Liam's always worried about me, he's like the brother I never asked for." I found myself muttering. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate Liam, in fact if it weren't for him I would've given up a long time ago... I just felt like he babied me a little too much. 

"He means well..." 

"I know he does..." 

"Harry... can I... I want to say something to you and I just..." Niall starts only to trail off and look down at his shoes. I risk him a glance out of the corner of my eye, unable to bring myself to actually look at him. 

"You just what?" I asked even though I knew I probably wasn't going to like what he was going to say, but Niall doesn't say anything. We're once again walking in silence for which I was grateful. There was always something unspoken between Niall and I, both of us wanting to say what that thing was but I think we were both too afraid of what would happen if we did. 

For me, it was how much he meant to me... how badly I wanted to be with him despite the fact that every part of my being told me it was a bad idea. I wanted to tell him how my heart flutters every time he smiles, how I feel like I could take on the world at just the sound of his laughter. 

I wanted him. 

But sometimes I wondered if he wanted me. 

I didn't realize we'd reached Liam's house until Niall was looking at me expectantly. 

"Thank you." I whispered and Niall gives me a soft smile. It was then I realized just how close he was standing, if I reached out my hand I could touch him... 

"Harry..." Niall's voice is quiet too, a look in his eyes that I didn't recognize and all I wanted to do was kiss him. But I don't and instead I cleared my throat before backing away, the memory of the last time we had been this close all too fresh in my mind. Niall didn't want this, he had made that clear. 

"Have a good night, Niall." I said, getting ready to walk back into the house only to have Niall grab my hand. I looked down at our clasped hands in shock, only to let out a gasp when Niall is kissing me with such force it nearly knocks me back. It was every bit like the first time we kissed, but at the same time it was so much better. 

This time Niall had been the one to start it, this time he was the one pulling me closer almost as if he needed me like I needed him. He was kissing me so harshly that I was certain my lips would be bruised, but I didn't care. I let go of his hand only to put mine on his hips, my fingers digging into the exposed skin as  he practically shoves me against Liam's front door. He only pulls away to catch his breath and I took that moment to open the front door. 

The moment we were inside, I wasted no time in taking control. My lips were attached to his the second the door closes before I'm moving down his neck and nipping at the skin ever so softly. We had both lost our coats and our shoes, but so far that was it. Niall's breath is coming out in short pants and I stilled when I felt his fingers fumbling with the button on my jeans. I pulled away to look at him, my breath coming out in short pants as well. It was clear what was going to happen if we kept going, especially with how painfully hard the two of us already were. 

I wanted him and this time... it seemed like he wanted me.

"Are... Are you sure?" I whispered, my voice coming out strained especially when Niall bucks his hips against mine. Niall doesn't answer me vocally, instead he just nods and kisses me tenderly on my lips. That was all I needed before Niall wraps his legs around my waist, allowing me to carry him into my bedroom. I placed him gently on my bed, my hands already roaming over his body and my lips going to touch his once more. 

Niall is getting impatient, once again pulling at the button on my jeans as I lean in for another lingering kiss. I chuckle softly at the frustrated groan he lets out before he just gives up on the pants and goes for the shirt instead, only to get it caught around my neck. I help him get it off before I get his off, both of us only in our pants and socks now. I looked over at my nightstand where I kept my lube, frowning when I realized I didn't have any condoms. 

I had been flying solo for a long time with no plans to find a partner... 

"What's wrong?" Niall asks, looking up at me with a worried expression. 

"I uh don't have any condoms... It's been a while..." I admitted sheepishly, biting down on my lip as Niall lets out a laugh. 

"What about Liam? Think he has any?" He asks and I shrugged. 

"It's probably worth a shot... I'll be right back." I whispered, placing another kiss to Niall's lips before rolling off of him. Walking to Liam's room with a boner was a little harder than I like to admit and once I was in there, I had no idea where to even look. 

Liam was about as celibate as I was nowadays, so the chances of him having a condom were probably nonexistent. However, it appeared as if lady luck was on my side as I found an unopened box in Liam's dresser. I was quick to grab one, smiling triumphantly before walking back to my bedroom. I stopped in my tracks once I reached my room, the sight before me just about pushing me over the edge. 

Niall was already completely naked, his brow furrowed in concentration as he appeared to be fingering himself open. I wasn't sure how to feel in that moment, the sight before me was beautiful but at the same time terrifying. 

I was about to have sex with Niall and I was just waiting for the moment I would wake up and find it was all just a dream. 

"Are you just going to stare or are you going to take over?" Niall pants out once he catches sight of me and I was quick to move back to the bed. I tossed the condom I'd stolen onto the bed next to Niall before I went in for another kiss. Niall's pushing the lube into my hands and I can feel my heart starting to race. 

This was really happening. 

"Are you sure?" I asked again, looking at Niall who rolls his eyes before nodding his head. 

"Clothes, off." Niall demands and I did as I was told. We were both naked now and I felt like my heart was about to leap out of my throat as I coated my fingers with lube. I was a bit rusty in technique as it had been a while, but the look on Niall's face as I slide a finger into him was enough for me to know I was doing it right. He'd already opened himself up a little so it wasn't long before he was asking me to add in a second and then a third. 

He was a withering mess beneath me within minutes, his back arching off the bed when I hit the right spot. He lets out a whine when I pull my fingers out, his eyes opening and I have to catch my breath. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked one last time as I reached for the condom. 

"I'm sure." Niall's voice is barely over a whisper and that was all I needed before I put on the condom and slicked myself up with the lube. Niall's eyes fluttered close as I slowly eased myself into him, the feeling completely overwhelming because I never thought I would be here. I stilled in movement once I'm completely in, not wanting to move in case I hurt Niall which was the last thing I wanted.

"Move." Niall whispers and I do as I'm told. I move slowly at first, wanting to make it last but Niall didn't want that as he asks me to go faster. He lets out a loud moan when I hit the right spot and I make sure to continue to go at that angle, watching as he comes undone beneath me, his blunt fingernails digging into my back. 

He comes without warning and the look on his face was enough to push me over the edge. Once we both came down from our highs, I pulled out and tossed the condom into the trash. I rolled out of the bed to grab a wash cloth to clean Niall off, quick to return only to find Niall fast asleep on the bed. I smiled softly at the sight before I walked back over to the bed, cleaning Niall quickly before climbing into the bed with him. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into the crook of his neck.

It was the most content I'd felt in ages. 

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yoooooooooo, so... i don't write smut very often mainly because i always rush through it and don't go into a lot of detail for the main reason that i feel that A LOT of authors just use it for reads and i don't feel like that's a good enough reason to write smut and i just don't write it often because of that.... 

so yeah, like sorry if it's not good or it's not what you expected. I tried lol. 

anyways QOTC: i'm still blanking on questions, so I guess my question is what types of questions do you guys want me to ask? do you want me to ask your opinions on what's going on in the story or more get to know you questions? 

lol

dedication goes to victoriaarachel

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connie xx