thirty-two: you make me better

I try not to let what he said get to me, I try to pretend like what he said didn't hit me like a freight train. I try to hold my head high as I walk out of the building and back to my car. I try not to cry, or curse, or hit the steering wheel repeatedly as I screamed over and over again how wrong he was. I fake my best smile as I reach Gemma's, walking into the front door to be met with the sound of both her and Niall giggling in the kitchen. 

My heart flutters at the sound and my smile is real now because dammit he had that effect on me. They're sitting at the kitchen counter, a photo album that I knew for a fact held baby pictures. They don't realize I'm there yet, both of them chatting away as I watch from my spot in the doorway. 

I didn't want to talk yet, my father's words hitting me as I look at Niall but I really didn't want to listen to him right now. Niall would stay, he had to stay... 

But who was I to make him? How sure was I that he would? We hadn't been dating for more than a couple weeks, there was still that chance he could high tail it the other direction and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Well look who finally decided to grace us with his presence." Niall's voice is what brings me back again and it appears as if I was gonna have to join in on the conversation now. I smile softly, slowly making my way towards Niall's side. I wrap an arm around him, placing a soft kiss to his temple before looking down at the photo album. 

"Jesus, Gem. You cranked out the prom photos?" I asked, glaring over at my sister who appeared to have no shame. 

"I started with the baby photos, it's not my fault you took so long. How'd it go anyways?" She asks, looking at me expectantly and I let out a sigh. I didn't want to talk about what happened with our father for I knew I'd only get angry again... but she'd probably end up calling me to discuss it anyways. 

"It went as well as I expected it would. Nothings changed." I said quietly and Gemma's hopeful look falls. 

"H..." 

"I don't really feel like talking about it right now, Gem... Besides, it's probably time Ni and I head back home. I've got the night shift at the bar and Liam will skin me alive if I'm late." I said, clearing my throat as I step away from Niall. 

"Oh... Okay. You'll call me when you get home then?" Gemma asks, the look in her eyes telling me what I already knew we'd be talking about later. 

"Yeah, first thing I'll do. Thanks for letting us crash here last night, Gem."

"You know you're welcome here anytime, both of you are." Gemma says, looking over at Niall with a smile. We left not long after that, the car filled with nothing but silence for the first half of the drive. I could tell that Niall wanted to talk, but he was sensing my bad mood. 

"So uh... why'd you lie to your sister?" Niall finally asks, breaking the silence. 

"I didn't lie." 

"You don't work tonight, H. Liam gave you the next few days off, I was there when he told you." Niall says and I let out a sigh but I don't take my attention off the road. 

"I didn't feel like staying there any longer and I didn't want Gemma to feel like it was because of her. It was just easier to tell her I had to work." I said quietly, my hands gripping on the steering wheel just a little tighter. I shouldn't be letting what my dad said get to me, but it was... and I hated it. 

"You okay?" Niall asks and I shake my head because that was the truth and I wasn't going to lie to Niall. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"What's there to talk about?" 

"Well something is clearly bothering you, you might feel better if you talk about it is all I'm saying." Niall says and I let out a sigh. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to voice my fears and doubts so early on...

"Do... Do you ever feel like you're letting everyone down?" I found myself asking anyways, biting down on my bottom lip as I continue to keep my eyes on the road. Niall doesn't say anything for a moment, clearly thinking of his answer. 

"You're not letting me down." 

"I will eventually, it's just a matter of time before I do and then you'll leave and I'll be back to where I started. I can't... I don't... I don't want that to ever happen. I know this all seems crazy and rushed, but I just... I feel like I've finally found myself again, a better version of myself because of you... and I really don't want to lose that or you." I whisper, closing my eyes for a second because dammit here I was again spilling my guts out and quite possibly scaring Niall off in the other direction. I open my eyes when Niall grabs one of my hands, giving it a tight squeeze. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Prince." 

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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh

it took three days to write this chapter and i still hate it but i needed to post something before i left for vacation. I WILL NOT BE BACK TILL THURSDAY, WHICH SUCKS BUT I'M KINDA HAPPY ABOUT IT TOO?????????

i'm gonna be updating all my stories before I go... at least the ones that I actually update so that means this one, Picture Perfect, probably Tabloids... and my new one Daddy Issues which is a Ziam texting story... that you should check out ;)

here's the cover: 

annnnnnnd this is the description: 

unknown: send nudes?

zayn: seriously who the fuck is this?

or the one where Zayn gets a text from an unknown number and Liam's got daddy issues

so yeah. 

QOTC: lol, i don't have one yet again i hate myself. sooooo just comment your favorite song or something.

dedication goes to 

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connie xx