Kay hated having to do this. She hated a lot of things she'd ended up forced to do. But she never thought she would hate fighting with Max so much.

"No, definitely not." Max crossed his arms over his chest, scowling at her. "You are not dropping the kids here and running off into a jungle when you're pregnant."

She also hated that this pregnancy had started showing so quickly, as if to intentionally blow every chance she ever had of hiding it. But it was true. She already had pregnancy jeans on and a large t-shirt, but since she didn't usually wear them, the reason for her baggy attire was obvious. 

Max had of course picked up on it, and after an initial bout of joy, the storm had replaced it. Rosario had immediately picked up on his mood and led the kids outside to see the horses. Eric stayed behind, but awkwardly leaned against the wall.

"Look, I know there are a lot of kids--"

"A lot of kids? That's not the issue!"

It was. Kay knew it was, and not because Max and Rosario couldn't take care of them by hiring an army of babysitters, but because there were too many of them in the same place without proper protection. They'd be a sitting target.

"I'm not changing my mind, Max."

"I'm not going to let you risk Kyle's..." His voice faded as his gaze moved past her shoulder and to Eric.

Flames seemed to have replaced Kay's blood and she leaned forward, fists clenched. "Don't you dare open your mouth and even suggest it. Eric is my friend. I'm never going to replace Kyle." Because in her heart and mind, she was going to Brazil to find him. Unfortunately, no one seemed to understand that.

Sometimes, even she couldn't understand it. Her little adventure would most likely end up hurting her even more, and she was also aware of the risks. But something inside her didn't let her sit this one out. She trusted her body, she trusted the serum, and she trusted her faith. It would work out. It had to.

"Of course, I know that," Max said, even if his voice was now a little meek.

"I know that you're trying to protect me. You all are. But I have to do this. For myself and for Kyle."

"Kay..." Max's voice was filled with pain and his eyes became glassy. "I know what you're hoping, but that doesn't erase the danger."

"I'm taking Eric with me. It's not the worst thing I've done. It will be fine." When Max opened his mouth to argue, she cut him off. "You can't stop me. Whatever you say won't change my mind. Trust me, whatever it is you're thinking, Jimmy said it before you. All of them have. They even left me behind."

"Rightfully so," he mumbled.

"And I'm not leaving my kids here."

This got his attention again. "Why not? Rosario and I can handle it."

"I know. I just don't want so many targets in one place."

"So where are you taking them?" Max narrowed his eyes. "If you think for one second that you're taking them with you--"

Kay heaved a sigh. "I'm taking them to my parents'."

"You're parents?" Max sounded appropriately shocked since Kay hadn't spoken to them in eight years. She was actually a little scared they wouldn't even open the door for her.

"Yes. They're close enough to you, but far away so that..." Her voice trailed off because she couldn't face telling Max that he and his family may outright be attacked because of them. She only hoped that Philip would do his damn job and protect them.

"I see." The sadness in those words broke Kay, but she kept her brave face on as she gathered up her kids, got them back in the car and said goodbye.

It was already dark outside and she knew she should hurry, but she couldn't help driving as slowly as possible through the town where she'd spent her high school years. Where she'd met Kyle and fallen in love with him. Once she drove past the café where they used to hang out and study, tears filled her eyes. 

It felt like a million years ago, and yet she was convinced that if she'd park the car and step inside, she'd find the teenage Kyle at the bar, eating cheesecake or ice cream, offering her his spoon.

"Are you alright?" Eric asked from the passenger seat.

She nodded and wiped her tears away. She was so grateful for his presence, for his silence. Once she'd asked him for help, he'd dropped everything and came along, giving her the time and space she needed, letting her choose the moment when she'd finally come clean and tell him why she'd dragged him out of his life and into hers.

But as brave and as crazy as she was, she knew she couldn't do this alone. Any of it. His presence gave her strength to face Max, face her parents, drop her kids off.

"Why couldn't we stay with Robin and Jules?" Alex mumbled in the backseat. 

"Yeah. Uncle Max has such a fun farm," Jenny added.

"You'll visit them," Kay said, glancing at them in the rearview mirror. "But we didn't want you staying all piled up in there."

"I want to share with Robin," Alex said. "Were are we even going to stay?"

"With grandma and grandpa."

"Grandma and..." Jenny tilted her head. "Didn't grandpa die?"

"Well, that was Daddy's dad. We are going to see my parents." She tried to keep her voice as cheery as possible, though nerves danced in the pit of her stomach.

"You have parents?" Alex asked, his eyes wide.

She gave a strangled chuckled. "Of course. I didn't pop out of thin air. And now we're going to see them."

Right on cue, she pulled up in front of her old house. It looked just as she remembered, light shining through the first floor windows. Her father was most likely in the living room, watching some football game on TV while her mother found something to scrub in the kitchen or read one of her magazines.

"This is where you grew up?" Jenny asked.

"Not exactly." Kay killed the engine and turned towards her kids. "I lived here while I was in high school."

"Pfft," Alex said. "You were old then."

Kay let out a laugh and got out of the car. She wasn't sure what to do now, if she should go first and see if they'd let them in or just take the kids with her. Her knees shook.

"Kay." Eric came to her and passed her the photo album and framed picture she'd saved for the occasion. "It's going to be alright. If they're your parents, they won't turn you away. Not now."

She looked at the picture of her family in which Kyle had left her the will and the letter. For a second, she took in everything about him again. She'd become increasingly scared that she'd forget any detail of him.

"I wish. But they haven't spoken to me in eight years."

Eric put his hand over hers, a small smile on his face. "You haven't spoken to them either. Maye it's time to forgive and forget."

His brown eyes were filled with kindness and maybe a little hope. Kay smiled back, then looked back at the photograph. Eric was a great friend and the support she needed right then, but it was obvious that it was all he was. Her heart still skipped a beat whenever she looked at Kyle, even if it was just a photograph. She loved him so much it hurt. Him and the kids were her life. And now she had to see if she could put any of it back together.

"Help me get the kids down." She was going all in.

When they reached the door, she let Eric hold the kids' hands and stood first, hugging the photo album and picture of her family. This was it. With a deep breath, she rang the doorbell. She could hear shuffling from inside.

"Are you expecting anyone? It's very late," she heard her dad saying. 

Hearing his voice again hurt as memories of happier times bombarded her. He used to make her feel so safe when she was a child. Was that even possible again after everything?

Her mother didn't answer as her silhouette appeared before the painted glass on the door. Then, in what felt like the blink of an eye, the door opened and Kay found herself facing her mother.

Cassandra Dickens had aged. Since she'd been forty when she had Kay, she'd always looked older than the other mothers, but now, at sixty-eight, her age was really showing. The skin on her cheeks had dropped, and she looked even thinner than before. Her light-blue eyes, however, were as alert as ever. She stared at Kay, her mouth dropping open.

Kay cleared her throat. "Hi, Mom."

Cassandra didn't answer. Her wide eyes moved from her daughter to Eric behind her, and then the kids, making some obviously wrong calculations.

"This is my friend, Eric," she said, moving out of the way to give her mother a better view. "And these are Jenny and Alex."

The kids gave her tiny waves, but looked wary. It took both of them a few seconds to break free from Eric and come to her to wrap themselves around her legs. Cassandra followed their progress, still unable to speak.

"Who is it?" Her father made his way into the hallway. He froze, too, taking in his daughter and the children wrapped around her. "Kathy?"

"Hi, Dad." It hurt to see him. Because even if they'd never outright fought, he'd supported her mother's insane obsession with getting Kay and Donnie together. 

"Don't just stand there, Cassandra. Let them in!" He charged forward and removed his wife from the doorway, blocking it instead. He kept glancing at Jenny and Alex who tightened their hold on Kay's legs. "Are these...?"

"Yes. Jenny and Alex. Your grandchildren."

Jonah glanced from the kids back to her, and then at Cassandra. Finally, he took in Eric. "Is this your husband?"

"No," Jenny said with a huff. "That's Mommy's work friend, Eric."

Jonah looked even more confused, but finally moved out of the way. "I think your Mommy and her mom have a lot to discuss. Do you kids want to come in and see the house?"

They didn't seem very convinced, so Kay turned to them and smiled. "Go on with your grandpa and see if he's any fun."

Dragging his feet, the kids detached themselves from Kay and stepped inside.

"I'll get the luggage," Eric said, heading back towards the car.

Kay was more than grateful because there was a lot to explain and she needed to be alone with her mother. She still had to be the one to go in and lead the way into the kitchen, but Cassandra fortunately followed without comment. Once seated at the table, Kay couldn't help but realize that she'd taken her usual seat. It was so weird to be back inside a house she'd once considered a home.

Cassandra joined her at the table, still seeming lost for words. For a few moments she just continued to stare at Kay.

"So that's not your husband?" she finally asked.

Kay passed her the photograph. Talking to her father had been easy, but she still resented her mother so much, she was afraid she'd snap.

Cassandra took the frame and glanced at the photo. She gave a start, but didn't drop it, didn't turn to glare at Kay, didn't scream. Just stared at it as if reality was hard to grasp. Kay clenched her fists under the table, awaiting criticism, mentions of her old boyfriend. Something that would send her off the edge.

Instead, her mother looked back to her and then at the photo album on the table. "Can I see that?"

Kay squinted at her, but pushed the album across the table. Cassandra settled the frame down, gave it one last confused look, then opened the album.

Kay's heart started thumping loudly as her mother analyzed the pictures depicting her life with Kyle. That album contained everything important in their lives, starting with their engagement photos and ending with the birthday party they'd organized when their kids turned three.

"Oh, William looks so handsome," Cassandra muttered, tracing her finger on a group photo from their wedding. "And here's Angie. And..." She lingered, squinting at the photo. "I know him." She pointed at Tom.

"He's Kyle's brother."

Cassandra flinched at the mention of Kyle's name, but caught herself and nodded. "Yes, they do look alike. Just like..." Her voice trailed off as she continued staring at the photograph.

"Yes, Kyle has four brothers. Two pairs of identical twins. His mother is a twin, so it makes sense."

Cassandra glanced over her shoulder, even if she couldn't see the living room from there, but she clearly came to realize that Kay had twins, too. She didn't comment on it, but returned to analyzing the photographs. From their wedding to the honeymoon, the weddings of the rest of the family, her pregnancy shoot, the birth of their kids, of all the other kids, family reunions and parties...

"You look happy."

The affirmation startled Kay. "I was happy in every one of those photographs."

Cassandra turned the pages again, stopping on one of her and Kyle from the wedding. "You were a beautiful bride."

"What's with all the compliments?" She couldn't help the question. And where was the reproach, bringing her down for abandoning her family, not inviting them to her wedding? A thought formed inside her head and she couldn't believe she hadn't thought about it sooner. "Mom? Did something happen with Donnie?"

She flinched at the name, but stayed silent. Kay waited, because she could tell there was something there. Something that had forced her parents to let her in and immediately accept her marriage to Kyle. Or maybe her mother had gone blind.

"You are aware that I married Kyle, right? That my name is Kay Grant now, and that those two children in the next room are his as well as..." Her words faded, but she stood and pulled her shirt tighter around her so that her protruding belly became visible.

Cassandra glanced from her belly back to her, looking a little surprised. "Where is he, then?"

"Presumed dead." The words tore her throat, but the desire to shock her mother was greater than the pain. She wasn't sure why she was doing it. Maybe to throw everything in her face for once as punishment for cutting ties with her.

Her mother stood from her seat and caught her in a tight hug. Kay stiffened, shocked by the sudden physical contact, but the tears in her eyes wouldn't let her pull away. Instead, she softened into it and wrapped her arms around her mother, resting her head on her shoulder and letting the tears fall.

"I'm so sorry, honey," Cassandra whispered. "For everything. We should have seen it. We should have been there for you. We missed so much of your life."

"Why?" Kay pulled back, wiping her eyes. "Why did you miss so much of my life? Why didn't you believe me when I told you Donnie was abusive, that Kyle made me happy?"

"We were wrong and blinded." Tears streamed down Cassandra's face. "We saw how happy Donnie made you. We thought you were throwing it away, that you couldn't see he loved you and instead were blinded by how rich and good-looking that Tanner-- Kyle was."

Kay's heart tightened. She realized how much it cost her mother to admit that she was wrong, to actually use Kyle's name. "That was just an added bonus, Mom. Because Kyle was amazing in every possible way."

"Looking back, we can see that. He defended you. He stayed by your side. William liked him and advocated for him." She glanced at the photo album again. "He made you happy."

"Then why didn't you reach out?"

"We were ashamed. And afraid that you would reject us, that you would push us out of your life."

Kay narrowed her eyes, disgust and happiness battling inside her. "When did you have this change of heart?"

Cassandra shuddered. "After your wedding. William came over and let us know you were married. It was then we realized the damage we'd done. You didn't even invite us. We tried to lie to ourselves and blame you. Blame him for cutting you off from your family."

"Kyle actually wanted to invite you. I didn't."

"William mentioned that." She turned away, rubbing her arms. "Donnie stole his parents' savings account and disappeared. No one knows where he is. Jean and Donald asked us to help them, loan them money to look for him."

"Not entirely unexpected," Kay mumbled.

"The thing is, we finally realized you've been right. Donnie was not going through some phase. He wasn't doing drugs because you'd broken him. You had gone on with your life and he should have as well. He was no longer the sweet boy we knew, and you would not have been happy with him. 

"His parents were in denial, much like we had been for so long. Except we could escape it because Donnie wasn't ours." Cassandra turned back to her. "You were. And we should have been by your side. Not his. Will you ever forgive us?"

The question left Kay speechless. She had expected her parents to accept keeping her kids there for a while with a lot of grumbling. Not even in her wildest dreams had she expected an apology, so she was most definitely not ready for it.

"I-- What?"

"We never expected you to come to us, to give us this opportunity, and now that you're here, I can't not say it. I'm sorry, Kathy. I was such a horrid mother to you, thinking that I knew what you wanted and needed better than you did. Thinking you were pretending, putting on a show, going through a rebellious phase instead of seeing that you were growing up." Cassandra took her hands. "You are so beautiful. William tells me you work in forensics. You were able to have a family and a career and..." Her voice faded as she looked towards the table again.

With shaking hands, she picked up the picture frame and stared at it. A small smile curved her lips and she traced something on the photo.

"He really did love you, didn't he?"

"Yes." The word came out trembling.

"What happened to him?"

This is where Kay had to make a choice regarding how much she could tell her mother. A choice she never thought she'd have to make. Unfortunately, it was a lot less than she could tell anyone else, because her parents appeared to be blissfully ignorant about the dangers in her life. And after finding her family again, she didn't want to freak them out.

"He was the commander of a SWAT team. It's a dangerous job." Nope, it was a poor lie and she couldn't do that to Kyle or to herself. "And there's something else we have been doing for years..."

Cassandra frowned and waited, but Kay had hit a dead end here. She'd never thought she'd have to explain this, so she had no idea how.

"There's someone after us."

"I remember." Her mother put down the photograph. "It was in the news at some point. It hasn't been in a while."

Kay let out a breath, grateful for the tie-in. "Well, they never really stopped. And it's what got to Kyle."

"But you're not sure." There was hope in Cassandra's voice. 

"You actually hope Kyle's alive." And she couldn't believe those words had left her mouth directed at her mother.

"I want to believe that he is. So I can speak to him at least once. Honestly and without scorn. Apologize." She glanced into the living room. "Is this why you're here? To leave the kids so that you can go looking for him?"

"Yes." Kay couldn't keep the shock out of her voice. She'd completely forgotten her mother could be like this. It had all been buried by the last two miserable years she'd spent with her family.

Cassandra nodded. "Good. But..." She glanced at her bump. "Be careful."

"That's why I have Eric with me. But please don't tell the kids. I couldn't bear to tell them, not until I'm one hundred percent sure."

"Of course. I understand."

It was so easy. No kicking and screaming like Maxi, no pretending that she knew best. "Thank you."

Her mother smiled and Kay couldn't believe she felt welcomed there, that she felt safe again in that house. It was so easy to take her to the living room and introduce her to her grandchildren. She crouched and began talking to them, asking about their favorite foods and cartoons. Kay watched them, biting her lip to keep herself from crying.

This was normal. She had a family again, people she could count on for love and support. Her children no longer only had a too stuffy grandmother. They had more, and as the minutes ticked by, both Jenny and Alex began to smile.

"She looks so much like you when you were a child," Cassandra said, looking from Jenny to Kay. "Though I'm glad you inherited my blond hair. You gave yours to Alex."

"I look like my Daddy," Alex declared jabbing his thumb against his puffed up chest.

"Yes, you do," Cassandra crooned. "And you will grow up strong and handsome, just like him."

Kay knew she had to say goodbye, that she was already running late, but she wanted to stay just another few minutes and enjoy what looked like a happy family. She and Eric ended up staying for dinner, exchanging pleasantries across the table.

And before they were ready to go, after she'd hugged and kissed her children enough to last them years, she took her parents aside and provided them with the appropriate safety instructions.

"You can call on Max whenever you need anything," she said, putting on her jacket.

"We will," her father said, nodding. "We'll do exactly what you said."

"Thank you. This means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to us that you came back. That after everything, you would entrust your children to us." Cassandra caught her in a tight hug. "We love you, Kathy. Now go get your man back."

Kay nodded and left the house with tears in her eyes. This time, she settled in the front seat and let Eric take the wheel.

"Your folks seem nice," he said as he started the engine and drove off.

"Trust me, I'm as shocked as you are."

"The kids seemed to like them."

Kay glanced at him. She appreciated how normal his tone was and how he looked forward as he drove, not pestering her for answers. But it was time.

"It's true. I do want to look for Kyle."

He nodded. "Understandable."

"Thank you for helping. But from here on out, you have to make a decision. Where I'm going, it's very dangerous. There is a very high likelihood of death, especially for you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Especially for me? Kay, I'm a trained police officer. Trained by Kyle, no less."

And that was the only reason she actually thought he had a chance to survive. "Yes, true. But when we go to places like this, people tend to shoot at us. And they don't need you. They would kill you on sight."

Eric hummed and keep driving. "So where are we going?"

"Eric..."

"I know what this is. I've honestly been curious for years. I want to see what it's really like."

"Dangerous and deadly, that's what it's really like. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and need the company, but I wouldn't want to put you in danger either. I could manage." She'd bully Philip to give her Billy if she had to.

"Nope, I'm coming." He grinned at her. "I'm sure you'll be able to take care of me just fine."

That drew a laugh out of her. "Okay, if you're sure."

"Where are we going?"

"Brazil. Middle of the jungle. So let's go buy you some proper gear."

Eric just nodded and warmth settled in Kay's chest. She still had her family and friends. Eric had to be fine. After all, they only had to get by until they ran into the others. They had the same map after all, so they would meet up.

And her conversation with her mother had actually given her hope. Maybe Kyle really was still out there. And if he was, she was going to find him.

🧭🧭🧭

I've finally managed to get this ready for posting! Excuse the slight delay.

Shocked, not shocked? Were you expecting the redemption of Kay's estranged family? And Eric is really throwing himself in the cross-fire here. Hope nothing bad happens to him.

Look forward to me hopefully writing some more because I'm sort of running out of backlog. Help!

Hope to see you next week. Vote and comment for support.