CHAPTER 6: Mere Cover

Inaayos ko ang sariling buhok sa harap ng maliit kong salamin. Architect Pam texted me a while ago, she didn't mention anything about what to wear or the proper outfits for today, so I've decided to just let myself be comfortable with casual clothing.

Okay naman siguro ang ganito, lalo na kapag mamasyal sa mga mall at mag-shopping.

"Calm down, Anastasia. It's merely a day for stroll." I tried consoling myself in front of the mirror.

Ceasing the terrors of going out in the vast of people's center of entertainment will be the hardest. Though, it's never really an issue, I just don't want to ruin anyone's good day for bearing this grosteque figure. Lalo na't sariwang-sariwa pa ito.

Tumayo na lamang ako mula sa pagkakaupo at ginapang ang kamay sa buong damit. Sa lahat ng kasuotan ko dito, parang ito lang yata ang pwede kong gawin panlabas.

"Where are you?" Pam called again after ten minutes of me, getting ready.

"I'm on my way, saan nga ba ulit tayo magkikita?"

She sighed on the other line. "Tinext ko na sa 'yo, Tash. Ang init sa Pilipinas!" I can hear her cries on the other line.

Hindi ko siya masisisi, ang tagal niyang naghintay sa 'kin. Paniguradong buryong-buryo na iyon.

Sumakay na 'kong muli sa jeep at nagmamadali. I remember some time before, I was thinking of buying a new sketchpad and some books. Ngayon ko na siguro matutupad iyon. Magpapasama nalang ako papunta sa book store.

"Gosh, Tasha! Finally!" Agad na hinila ni Pam ang braso ko pagkarating na pagkarating sa mall. Wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi ang mapatianod.

"I've been waiting forever, nakakaloka ang init do'n." Hindi pa rin siya tapos sa pagrereklamo. She kept on fanning herself as if there were sweats forming. Awang-awa naman ako dahil kasalanan ko iyon.

Yumuko na lamang ako at nahihiyang napangiti. "Sorry, ang hirap kasi maghanap ng masusuot."

That's the truth. Ayoko naman sanang sumama na mukhang pinag-tripan. Pam would definitely deny me as her companion if she happens to see me that way. Look at her now, sporting some sexy outfit. A black fitted spaghetti strap with a heart-shaped neckline partnered with a knee length maong ruffled skirt and a black stilleto.

Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan ang mapatitig sa kan'ya...

Grabe, ang lakas ng dating!

Halos lahat yata ng mga nadadaanan naming tao ay napapatingin. She looks really sexy and enticing from her outfit, definitely a head turner.

If I were the one wearing that, people would certainly be horrified because they would probably think of me as a witch or a trying-hard bitch, strolling around the mall.

"Saan tayo pupunta, architect?" hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtatanong.

"Basta, just follow me."

The mall is quite busy. It's sunday, anyway. Talagang mapupuno ang building na ito dahil mainit na naman sa bansa, kailangan din nilang mamasyal sa mga air-conditioned estbalishments.

We were walking for about twenty minutes, Architect Pam seemed so lost in this huge maze while here I am, still following her behind. Mukhang hindi niya yata alam kung saan siya dapat na pupunta. She's clearly getting annoyed by that fact.

"By the way, I've heard the news. You were given a chance to draft?"

Suddenly, my heart leaped 'coz of the excitement. "Yeah, it was so unexpected." I beamed.

When I get home, I'll prolly be using my new sketchpad to draft. The feeling is beyond enthusiasm now, I can't wait for it to start.

After two minutes, nasa escalator na kami. May nakatabi pa kaming mag-ina sa likuran kaya bahagya akong gumilid upang magtago.

"Mommy! Look! Monster!" The child suddenly drew out his toy gun and pointed at me. "I killed it! Look!" His mother never took a glance, she just hushed her son.

"Stop it or she will eat you," I heard her say.

These kind of encounters will forever make my head down. I just bit my lower lip and moved my gaze upon the entrance of some nice looking boutique. Nakakita ako ng maraming magagandang kasuotan at terno na paniguradong babagay kay Architect Pam.

Tumigil ako at nagsalita, "Dito tayo," I tugged my arm back to make her stop from walking.

"Huh?" she peeped on her right to check the store. "Oh my! This is new!" Walang sinayang na oras at agad na pumasok sa loob.

The store is quite big and fancy. For sure, clothes here are made by own designs or tranferred from overseas. I'm not familiar with these but I think, there's no need to check the tag. It is surely not a budget-friendly boutique.

Pam started to pick up clothes, the staff didn't even bother to assist, alam na alam na kasi niya ang gagawin. "Can you hold this for me?"

I gladly took all the things she handed me. "Sure, take your time, Pam. Mukhang marami pa sa likod." I motioned to the far left of the store.

It was like that for hours. It lasted for a stretchable time of picking up some clothes. Akala ko matatapos na kami doon sa pangalawang store. But to my surprise, it's already the seventh store and we're far from being done!

Buhat-buhat ko ang lahat ng pinamili niya, and she's still strolling around some clothing lines here. Mukhang lalahatin niya yata ang mga store. Kung bibilangin, baka lagpas sampu na siguro ang bitbit ko ngayon. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo, I am actually happy that I was able to experience this, ang gumala at makatulong.

"Ipapabuhat ko po ba sa yaya niyo ma'am?" The cashier was ready to hand me another bag of clothes.

Pam was busy with her phone but she answered anyway.

"Sige, thanks,"

I was having a hard time bringing all the stuff she asked me to carry. Sobrang bilis niya maglakad at kanina pa ako uhaw na uhaw. I'm just hoping she'll finally enter a fast-food restaurant or stop by to any stalls. Sadly, she didn't.

"Seven-thirty na ng gabi, Tash. We need to go home na. It's rush hour and I'm so tired, grabe!"

Bigo na lamang akong tumango. "Sige, architect. Para makapagpahinga ka na rin."

I was thinking of buying a cup of instant noodles when I get home. Iyon na lang siguro ang kakainin ko.

"See? It's like zombie apocalypse na. Agawan sa transpo!" she kept on complaining. Nagsimula na din ako mag-alala dahil napakahaba nga naman talaga ng pila sa sakayan, paniguradong pagod na pagod ako nito pag-uwi.

"Oh taxi, ma'am! Taxi nalang kayo!" A man suddenly shouted beside me. Medyo nagulat pa ako doon.

I looked at the car he was pointing. Hindi iyon taxi, it was literally a private or personal car. Baka ginagamit nalang pampasahero.

"Tash, sakay kana. Susunduin daw ako ni Engineer." Pam pushed my arm lightly. "Sige na, text me when you get home, aight? Thank you for today!" she said, dismissing me.

Kinuha niya na din lahat ng paper bags at damit na buhat-buhat ko. Inilagay niya iyon sa tabi niya at kumaway na sa 'kin bilang paalam. Wala naman akong nagawa kundi sumunod sa kagustuhan niya. Pagod na rin naman ako at mas maganda na sigurong makauwi nalang.

"Thank you din, Pam. I'll see you on Monday," I finally bid my goodbye before she turned around and held her phone back in ears.

Napabuntong hininga ako pagpasok sa loob ng sasakyan. The driver welcomed me, he's somewhat old and I can't see his face clearly kaya inayos ko na lamang ang pagkakaupo. Ini-start na din nito ang makina at saka nagtanong kung saang lugar niya ako ihahatid.

"Saan po tayo, ma'am?" pagsisimula niya. I then gave him the address so he could start to drive.

I positioned myself near the window. Nangalumbaba ako at nag-isip. Buying a new sketchpad and some books wasn't carried out as planned. My thoughts were only aligned to Architect Pam and her new clothes. I was so busy thinking of how I can bear the struggle of bringing all of it.

Tangina, sayang. Siguro sa susunod na pagpunta ko nalang sa mall.

"May asawa ka na, ma'am?" The driver interrupted my supposed to be sentimental mode.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. "Wala po, manong."

"Mag-isa ka lang? Sayang ma'am, hindi ka naman pangit talaga. Kung ako 'yan, tyagain ko."

Fucking weird.

He didn't add anything after that. I just saw him smile to the rear-view mirror. It was kind of dark inside the car, that creepy grin gave me goosebumps.

This isn't actually my first time receiving these kinds of remarks. The only thing that would stop them is by not responding at all. But for some people, they tend to be insensitive enough to offend their listeners. It's not a compliment; it's just a mere statement to start a nonsensical conversation.

Binilang ko nalang ang oras simula noon. Hindi ko kasi kabisado ang pabalik sa amin. Pero alam ko na dapat kanina pa ako nakarating. Magda-dalawang oras na pero nandito pa rin ako sa loob ng sasakyan.

"Manong, malayo pa po ba?" I can't help but to ask.

"Malapit na tayo, ma'am. Saglit nalang po."

Another thirty minutes have passed but still, we haven't reached my place. Nagsisimula na din akong kabahan dahil padilim na ng padilim ang daan na tinatahak namin. I am not familiar with it. My guts are telling me that we're far from our supposed destination.

This shouldn't be the road he's taking!

"Manong, kahit dito nalang po ako." Sinubukan kong buksan ang pintuan. "Bababa na po ako," I can feel the nervousness of my voice.

The driver just smiled from the rear-view. "Teka lang, ma'am. Ipaparada ko lang po." anito at dahan-dahang iginilid ang sasakyan. I thought he wouldn't budge, but I guess, I'm just over reacting?

The door hasn't been unlocked yet. When I looked outside, all I could see was some kind of uninhabited place. There are street lights that flickers from the road; no one is seen, and the moonlight passes through the eerie surface, making it seems like we're part of a horror movie. This greatly affects me, my whole system is starting to tremble in fear because of the forthcoming memories.

Fuck, I'm having a bad feeling about this.

"Pakibuksan po ng pinto, manong." Halos magmakaawa na ako sa driver. I tried pulling the lever again but still, hindi pa rin nakabukas.

He unlocked his seatbelt and decided to slowly turn his body towards me. "Hayaan mo muna, ma'am. Saglit lang naman tayo 'e," he said.

Agad nitong hinawakan ang kaliwang braso ko nang sinubukan ko muling buksan ang pinto. I was planning to kick the window but I was caught in my both arms. Sobrang bilis ng pangyayari, mas malakas siya sa akin kaya nahirapan akong kumawala.

I tried to struggle real hard and I made sure that my nails slashed through his face.

Napahiyaw ako sa sakit dahil sa higpit ng pagkakahawak niya. "Tangina naman! Ikaw na nga 'tong papatusin, nag-iinarte ka pa!" My ears rang when I felt him slap me on my right cheek. Halos mawalan ako ng ulirat nang dahil doon.

"Bitawan mo 'ko! Tulong!" I shouted my lungs out but I know, it will never reach to anyone.

Tears are starting to pool in my eyes. He grabbed both of my hands using his right hand and then he started to position himself on top of me. I can see how he hurriedly unbuckle his pants like a hungry monster who can't wait to prey on his catch.

This feels disgusting.

So fucking gross.

My mind wanted to fight but the sickening feeling and horrified thoughts began to make me fatigue from all of it. I just ate the urge and silently cried. My sobs echoed inside this compact space and all I can think of is for it to be done soon.

"Marunong ka palang sumunod e', pinahirapan mo pa 'kong halimaw ka. Buti nalang at sexy ka, kung hindi, baka kanina pa kita sinakal." pananakot pa nito at saka sinimulang halik-halikan ang leeg ko pababa.

I bit my lower lip. I tasted blood not long after.

I want this to be done, God. Please make me forget this. Please forgive me for what I am planning to do.

All my life, I've been good at hiding. My secrets were long concealed to be unseen by the judgemental world and by its people. I never knew myself, I never knew where I truly belong. This world made me realize that no matter how you look, no matter how you perceive your life, danger still lingers. And it will always eat your guts up.

"Umungol ka naman, tangina. Ang boring na nga, nag-iinarte ka pa," he said while loosening the grip on my hands.

God, forgive me.

I moved my right hand and gracefully touched my face. I can feel the power slowly run through my skin. The heat of energy turned my face to how it used to be.

There, I can see how a bomb of light shines all throughout the car. Nasilaw ang driver at agad na napalayo sa akin. Tinakpan nito ang dalawang mata gamit ang braso. The uninhabited place were lit up because of me. I can see all of it, I can see how great my power is... right in front of me.

Pag-angat ng ulo ng driver, pagtanggal nito ng kaniyang braso, his eyes landed straight into mine. The ones I describe as mystical orbs, the ones that glimmers with different colors. It has done some horrible outcomes again.

"Tangina!" He removed himself. Gaping for some air as he now loses all his energy. "Halimaw ka! Halimaw! Anong ginawa mong hayop ka!"

I watched it all... slowly.

I watched how he turned into a lifeless vessel in front of me.

His skin dried up, his blood popped out from the holes in his body and his heart stopped from beating after. Ang itsura ng kanina'y matandang driver ay malayong-malayo na sa itsura ng nasa harapan ko ngayon. All that is left is some grayish skin attached to his bones. There's none of his flesh remaining and it looks as if something sucked it all out until it becomes just fossils with just mere cover.

This is a true scenery, a scenery that describes how gruesome an incident can be.

But this is not an incident.

This is the curse.

The smell of ignited fuel came across my nose, the car is starting to get eaten by fire. My body is screaming with so much pain and weakness. I can feel my eyes crying and swelling. Hindi ako makatayo o makagalaw man lang sa pwesto ko. Ang tanging gusto ko lang mangyari ay magpahinga at ipikit ang mga mata para sana magdasal na sana hindi ito nangyari.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I cried and cried and cried until my head began to spin. Mabilis kumalat ang apoy sa loob. "I hate it! I hate this! Take it away from me!" I remembered how the blood spilled and splattered all across the vehicle and to my face.

"TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed on top of my lungs and then I felt my vision started to see blank.

But before I closed my sight, I saw a familiar figure trying to carry me out of place. And he mumbled some words into my ear. I tried to fight it but my energy depletes.

"Tishe, lyubov' moya. Ya zaberu etu u tebya..."

I heard him whisper after everything went into complete darkness.