Saturday 1st September, 1976

The Hogwarts Express was packed as students from all years clambered onto the train, hurrying to find a compartment before they all filled up. I had been too late, unfortunately, arriving at the compartment I usually shared with Marlene, Lily, and Mary to find some unexpected guests taking up the rest of the seats. Marlene stood up immediately, promising we could find a compartment together but I assured her it was fine, forcing her to stay as I moved on.

I loved Marlene, but sometimes I found her treating me like a little sister, even though I was only a few months younger than her. I understood why she did it, of course. After my parents died, killed by a group of wizards rebelling against the statute of secrecy, things had changed for me. My whole life had shifted, and with that my personality too. I used to be outgoing and confident, until I arrived home from Marlene's to find my parents gone. I was told it was because my dad was a half blood, that they were preyed on because my mother had married someone not of pure blood.

I'd been six at the time. Later, my aunt and received a call from the Ministry explaining the attack- they'd been killed in a park in broad daylight, along with a few other wizards, two of whom were Muggleborns- and I was whisked away to my cousin's house. They tried to make things as good as they could, making my new room all nice and pretty, giving me whatever I asked for, but I found it all dull in comparison to the one thing I really craved. My parents.

Time moved on and the wounds healed, much to my initial shock. I hadn't believed the pain would ever go away, and it didn't disappear per say, but it dulled, moved to the back of my mind. Things moved forward and I got better. But I was different. I'd experienced the horrors of life much too early, and it affected me. I wasn't confident or strong anymore. I was scared.

It was part of the reason I was so determined to go through with my resolution. I wanted to move past this fear, and maybe I'd get closure, or feel closer to my parents. All I knew was that I didn't want their memory to continue to haunt me.

I walked through the corridor of the train, shaking myself free of such upsetting thoughts. It was the first day of Sixth year. I didn't need anything dampening my mood.

As if someone had read my mind, a knock from inside one of the compartments caught my attention. I looked and found the marauders grinning at me, James sliding open the door.

"Need somewhere to sit?" Sirius asked slyly.

I scowled. "I'm not that desperate."

James laughed. "Come on, all the other compartments are full. We won't annoy you, promise."

I frowned, but he was probably right. The train was about to leave, which meant my chances of finding an empty compartment were slim to none. Better to share a compartment with people I know who invited me rather than intruding on strangers, right?

I sighed but entered the carriage, much to the delight of the four boys. Remus flashed me a smile and my nerves calmed slightly, though they were still screaming at me as I sat in the only available seat next to Sirius.

Sticking to their promise, the four boys started chattering away like I wasn't there, and I was relieved. I listened to their conversation as I watched the hills pass by on the train, but didn't participate.

It was only when James kicked Sirius's leg, hissing something at him that I paid full attention to what they were saying. A group of girls were passing the compartment and they all seemed to be blushing and giggling over the boys inside.

One of them went as far as to draw a little heart on the window and I scoffed, getting up.

Sirius looked up at me, sounding genuinely disappointed as he asked, "Where are you going?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to be forced to endure girls drooling over you the whole way to Hogwarts."

Sirius' expression morphed into a smirk. "Jealous?"

I made a face. "Please. I just don't want to see foolish girls go after some jerk who will only break their heart."

Sirius seemed surprised at my forwardness, as did the other marauders. Remus even stopped reading his book. I flushed, feeling more embarrassed than ever and cursed my slippery tongue.

I moved swiftly to leave but Sirius caught hold of my wrist. "I'll get rid of them."

And indeed he did, saying who knows what to the girls making them giggle and blush before dispersing. He sat back down with a satisfied grin and tapped the seat next to him.

I reluctantly sat back down, staring out the window until I felt James kick my legs. I frowned at him. "What was that for?"

"Socialise with us," he said, "Sirius worked so hard for you to stay."

I crossed my arms, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the attention put upon me. My anxiety was coming back tenfold as I struggled to find something to say, "what do you want to talk about?"

My words came out stilted and wrong, and James laughed at my stiff demeanour. Remus kicked him in the shins as reply, shutting the boy up, before gesturing to my satchel.

"What book are you reading?"

I was surprised he'd noticed I even had a book in there, the hint of a cover peeking out of the entrance. I hesitantly pulled it out to show him, hands gently tracing the title. "It's Little Women. A Muggle book I got at the market at Diagonally."

"Can I...?" Remus asked, his hand reaching out before hesitating. I nodded my head and handed him the book, watching as he read the blurb. "Would you mind if I borrowed this from you after you've finished? I've heard of it before but never had the chance to read it."

I was surprised but not necessarily in a bad way and nodded my head as he passed my book back. "Sure, I don't see why not."

"It was weird we all met each other at that market," Peter mused. "Then the festival, and then again at Diagon Ally."

There was a chorus of agreement and I sniffed, turning my nose up at them slightly. "I still think you were stalking me."

"Hey!"

a/n:

tragic backstory because why not

BUT it is important to the story. kinda. like, for character development or smthn.

anywho, hope u enjoyed <3