Disclaimer: SOME of the dialogue in this chapter, all characters (apart from Grace and Philip), main story line and the settings belong to Cassandra Clare. The rest of the writing, Grace, Philip and my story plot belong to me. I (unfortunately) do not own The Infernal Devices.

A/N: I love this picture above. Omg it makes me cry...

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'Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay.'

- Dark Side, Kelly Clarkson

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-*-*-*-*- Grace -*-*-*-*-

Jem leaned his head back against the carriage, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged. Grace had a hand on his arm, making sure that he kept upright while Will stood on his other side, drawing different runes on Jem's hand. She knew she had to look calm on the outside but on the inside, she was a mess. Her stomach was twisted in fear. Jem had been so well over the past months. He had told Grace it was because he was with Tessa, and stupidly Grace had believed it. Now, she didn't know what to think.

Tessa came hurrying out of the house with Henry, almost tripping over her gown. "Jem..." she said. Grace locked eyes with Tessa for a minute then stepped away towards Will. She didn't like the idea of not being with her brother but she knew that Jem would want to see Tessa.

Jem opened his eyes and slowly brought up his hand to stroke Tessa's cheek. "Ni shou shang le ma, quin ai de?"  he whispered.

"Are you hurt, my love?" Grace said quietly, looking at Tessa again.

"Thank you for the translation, Grace," Tessa replied but her eyes never left her fiancé. Grace nodded and turned to Will, keeping her voice low.

"We need to get him back to the Institute," she murmured. "He has none of his medicine here and I don't think he took enough of it when we left the Institute." Will nodded in understanding.

"I'll inform the others," he said. "Get Jem and Tessa into the carriage. I'll drive us back." Grace turned back to her brother and, despite his protests, managed to get him into the carriage with Tessa's help. She shut the door firmly behind them both and hopped onto the drivers seat, Will next to her. They were silent on the way back, both wrapped up in their own thoughts.

By the time they had rattled through the Institute's gates, it was just past midday. Grace ran to the Institute doors and opened them while Will helped Jem inside. Jem was leaning heavily on Will's shoulder, looking paler and paler by the minute.

Tessa went with Sophie to change out of her dress which was covered in demon blood, but promising that she would return as soon as she could. Once the rest were inside Jem's room, Jem sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, taking deep breaths. Will leant on the mantle over the fire place, looking as tense as a coiled spring. Grace sat next to Jem, her hand brushing his.

"Jem," Charlotte said, rushing into the room. "Oh Jem, are you all right?" Jem smiled weakly.

"It is just a passing attack, Charlotte," he said gently. "It's nothing to worry about." Grace bit her lip but said nothing. She knew that Jem was just trying to down play his illness in front of Charlotte, but it wasn't that simple. Her necklace was flashing green at her throat. Why did he have to be so selfless?

"Charlotte," said a voice from the door. Well, a voice in everyone's head. Brother Enoch and another Silent Brother entered the room swiftly. "You called for us?"

"Yes, Brother Enoch," Charlotte said, going towards him. "We were called to Benedict Lightwood's house in Chiswick this morning after an incident. Jem became ill."

"I see," Brother Enoch said in a toneless voice. He signalled to the other Brother who started preparing supplies on one of the bedside tables. Brother Enoch went towards Jem, placing his cold hand under his chin, forcing Jem to look at him. Grace tensed. As much as the Silent Brothers looked after them, she still found them terrifying.

Jem watched the Silent Brother with expressionless eyes. They appeared to be having a conversation which neither of the others could hear. Brother Enoch moved his hand to Jem's forehead, checking his temperature.

"I see," he finally said again.

"You see what?" Grace asked, standing up but keeping her hand on Jem's shoulder. "Jem, what did you tell him? What did he say to you?" Will came towards her as well. It was as if they felt they needed to protect Jem but also interrogate him at the same time.  

"Everyone must clear the room to allow us to treat James," Brother Enoch said.

"Why?" Grace asked. "What's wrong with him?" Brother Enoch didn't answer. "No, I'm not leaving him unless you tell me exactly what is wrong with him."

"Grace," Jem said wearily. "Please, just do as Brother Enoch says. Both of you." He added, looking at Will who wasn't budging either. "Please, Grace." He looked so desperate that it broke her heart. "Please," he whispered. Will sighed and took Grace's arm.

"Come on," he said. He marched her out of Jem's room. Grace turned before Brother Enoch could shut the door. Jem looked up from his hands and locked eyes with her at the last minute, his expression sad and a little bit lonely. He gave her a small smile before the door was closed behind them cutting her off from her brother.

***

"He's been in there for hours," Will said, pacing up and down the corridor for the two-hundredth and forty-third time.

Not that Grace was counting.

"What are they doing to him in there?"

"They're aren't doing anything to him, Will," Grace said tiredly. "They're trying to help him." She was sitting with her back to the wall next to Jem's door, her knees drawn up against her chest.

"It doesn't usually take this long though," Will said. "Something's wrong. I just know it." Grace took a shaky breath, tipping her head back against the wall. Will stopped pacing and turned to look at her.

"Are you all right?" he asked her. "And don't say you're fine. There's something bothering you, isn't there?" Grace locked eyes with him. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about what happened in the Lightwoods' gardens when Jem was so ill. But she couldn't just stay quiet either. Maybe it was best to tell Will instead of burdening Jem with the knowledge.

"Benedict- the worm- it spoke to me," she said.

"It spoke to you?"

"Yes," she continued. "Or rather, it spoke to Yanluo. I couldn't control it." Will sat next to her, his shoulder bumping hers.

"What did they say?" he questioned.

"Something about how Yanluo is soon to be 'expelled' from this Earth and that he has to find a way to free himself."

"Or what?"

"I don't know," she replied. "The worm tried to kill me before they could talk anymore." Will's blue eyes studied his hands which lay on his lap. He was thinking, taking in what Grace had just told him. For a moment, Grace actually wondered if he was going to talk at all.

"Benedict had gone mad when he became a demon," Will finally said. "I'm sure it means nothing."

"But what if it does?" Grace asked. "How can Yanluo be expelled from the Earth? He can't break free from me without me dying, and even then he'll still be on the planet. It has to mean something." Will sighed.

"Don't worry about it," was all he said. But she could tell he was worrying. He was worrying a lot. In fact, it was only now that Grace noticed the dark shadows smudged under his eyes from countless sleepless nights spent worrying about her, or Jem, or Cecily, or Tessa. Grace felt guilty for having given him another reason to lay awake at night.

"Why don't you go get some rest?" Grace said. "Or at least change out your gear. You're still covered in demon blood." 

"All right," he murmured. "But if anything happens, come and find me. I'll probably be in the library." She nodded.

"Of course." Will trudged down the corridor towards his room. Grace stayed sitting where she was for another half an hour when finally the door to Jem's room opened. She sprang to her feet as the two Silent Brothers walked out.

"How is he?" Grace asked.

"We have made his condition stable, and have stopped the internal bleeding," Brother Enoch replied. Grace tried not to throw up at the mention if internal bleeding. "But you must know, Grace, it is getting harder and harder to stabilize him each time. I fear that it soon may become impossible."

"What does that mean?" she whispered.

"It means that you have to be prepared for the worst," the Silent Brother said. "And sooner rather than later." And with that, he walked towards the exit to report to Charlotte. Grace pushed open the door gently and entered the room. Jem lay on his bed wearing a loose white shirt and trousers, staring up at the ceiling. He was feverish, his skin shining with sweat and flecks of blood splattered on his collar bones and chin.

"Jem," she said. He looked towards her and sat up, the cords in his neck straining as he pushed back against the pillows. He was trying to be strong for her, to act like it was nothing, but her glowing green necklace said otherwise.

"Hey, Gracey," he said softly. She looked to the nightstand where piles of bloody rags lay next to a bowl of pinkish water. An orange glow from Jem's throat flared up. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to look back towards Jem.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, settling herself in the armchair. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed to face her, their knees together, just like when they used to take their rowing boat out when they lived in Shanghai.

"Honestly, not fantastic," he said. "But better than I was. I'll be all right."

"Will you?" Grace questioned, raising an eyebrow. Jem looked down at his hands but didn't reply. Just before Grace could press for an answer, Will entered the room wearing a clean shirt and collar. He froze, looking at the twins as if he sensed something serious had just transpired.

"Charlotte said that that the Silent Brothers told her you wanted to see me," Will said to Jem, looking nervous. It was strange, Grace thought, to see Will so anxious around his parabatai who he should feel comfortable about.

"Yes," Jem said. "I was wondering if you had made up a song yet about our defeat of the worm yet." Will just stared at him. Jem grinned. "Surely after all those worm jokes, you must have something prepared."

Like Grace, Will's eyes instantly flicked to the nightstand. "Honestly, you two," Jem sighed. "Don't fuss. Everyone has been fussing about me and I can't abide it."

"Then why did you call for me?" Will asked. "You know I worry about you. Everyone does."

"I asked for you because you make me laugh!" Jem replied. "Both of you do. Please, don't make this day even worse. I need something to cheer me up." Will threw up his hands.

"Oh, all right," he said. "How's this?

"Forsooth, I no longer toil in vain,
To prove that demon pox warps the brain.
So though 'tis pity, it's not in vain
That the pox-ridden worm was slain:
For believe in me, you all must deign."

Jem and Grace both burst out laughing at the same time. "That was the worst thing I have ever heard!" Grace exclaimed, despite the seriousness of the moment that had just past. She curled up her knees on the chair, giggling to herself.

"Grace, I am offended," Will said. "Considering how impromptu that was, I'm impressed with myself."

"Your modesty astounds me, William," Grace said. Jem was rolling on the bed in fits of laughter.

"By the Angel, you two!" he chuckled. "Will, there is such a thing as scansion-" Jem suddenly broke off as a fit of coughing hit him. Will dashed forward towards his parabatai as Jem doubled over, hugging his stomach. Grace wrapped her arms around him as his thin shoulders heaved. Blood splattered on the bed's white coverlet, dripping down Jem's chin.

"Jem-" Grace said but he waved towards the nightstand where his yin fen was kept. He must feel bad if he felt he needed that. Will dove towards it, pouring some water and snapping open the box. Then he froze, just staring.

"Will," Grace hissed as Jem continued to cough. "Hurry up!" Finally, Jem stopped coughing and scrubbed his sleeve across his mouth. It came away scarlet.

Grace stood and went over to Will who was still just staring into the box. She looked over his shoulder and froze as well. "How is this all that is left?" Grace said quietly, turning to Jem.

"Grace," Jem said softly. "I-"

"Two months ago," Will interrupted, his voice strangled but rising in volume. "I purchased enough yin fen to last you a year. Where has it all gone?" Jem looked at his hands then glanced up at them.

"I have accelerated the process of taking it," was all he said. Grace snapped.

"You what?! " she shouted. Jem winced. His necklace was glowing a bright and fierce red while Grace's was a cool blue with a flicker of black.

"Gracey-"

"Oh no, don't 'Gracey' me," she said. "I want to know right now why you are taking more yin fen. Jem, it is killing you! The more you take, the faster you die! What is possessing you to do this?"

"I do not want to live half a life," he said simply. "There is more to life than not dying. You two live life to the fullest, and I only to walk each day. You have no idea what that is like."

"Is this because of Tessa?" Will demanded. "Are you doing this because of her? Because she would want you to live-"

"I am not going to live!" Jem was on his feet, his cheeks flushed red. Now both necklaces were glowing red as the twins faced each other.

"I am not going to live, and there is nothing I can do about it. But I can control how I live. I can choose to burn as bright for Tessa as I can be, to make her happy instead of filling our engagement and marriage with sadness and worry. It is my choice."

"So you are doing this because of Tessa," Grace snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"

"No, Grace. I will not let you pin the blame on her because you are angry with me," Jem said, stepping towards her.

"You are damn right I'm angry!" Grace yelled. "When you made this ludicrous decision, did you think about the consequences that the rest of us will have to pay? Did you think about what Will, who is your parabatai, will have to go through? Did you think about me ? Did you think about what it would do to me when you die earlier than you should?" Jem suddenly went very pale.

"Grace," he said, his voice brimming with caution. He held out his hands to her. "You need to calm down. Step back, take a breath."

"No!" she shouted. "Do not make this about me, James Carstairs!"

"Gracey, your eyes are red," Jem said. "Maybe you should-" 

"Stop it!" Grace screamed. "Stop thinking that you know what's best for me because you don't! If you really wanted to help, you wouldn't have taken more yin fen!"

"Calm down, Grace," Jem said. Both he and Will looked very concerned but Grace didn't care. She was so full of anger and fury. She let out a shriek and through out her hands. Will and Jem ducked as fireballs exploded from Grace's hands, scorching the walls of Jem's room.

Grace looked at her hands in shock, her breathing rapid. Her skin was steaming, heat radiating from her palms. Jem stood, going towards her.

"Grace-"

"Don't touch me," she said, backing away. "Just-just leave me alone!" She turned and ran out of the door, ignoring Jem calling for her. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she fled the Institute and into the streets of London beyond.

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Hi guys,

So, another chapter done and quite a stressful one as well for me to write! What do you think of this one??? A HUGE fight between Grace and Jem there so sorry if I broke anyone's heart :(

I kind of had two scenarios that I could have written in this chapter. I was either going to have Jem and Will fight like they did in the book and have Grace in the middle, trying to split them up, or have the chapter you just read. I went with that because it was more fun to write and went with my story plan ;)

I hope you enjoyed it! Comment and vote as always!

Love y'all,

CricketCat