Disclaimer: SOME of the dialogue in this chapter, all characters (but Grace and Philip), the main story line and settings belong to the amazing Cassandra Clare. Grace, Philip and my own story plot belong to me. The Infernal Devices do not belong to me.

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'I heard the doctors put your chest in pain
But then that could have been the medicine
And now you're lying in the bed again
Either way I'll cry with the rest of them.'

- Afire Love, Ed Sheeran

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-*-*-*-*- Grace -*-*-*-*-

"You know," Grace said, jumping down the step and sitting next to Tessa. "There's not many people who can say that to Will and leave him absolutely flabbergast. I would know, because I'd never let him forget it."

"Grace," Jem said, easing down as well. "That's probably not helping."

"No, it's fine, Jem," Tessa sighed. "I shouldn't have shouted like that. You probably think I'm really immature."

"On the contrary," Jem said. "We Shadowhunters sometimes deserve to be shouted at. Everything is always about how it effects Shadowhunters; we often forget to think about how it effects others."

"Often?" Grace asked.

"All the time," Jem admitted.

"The point is, Tessa," Grace said. "Will is very good at his job which makes him a very good Shadowhunter-"

"Which also makes him a pain in the backside," Jem concluded. Tessa and Grace both laughed.

"How do you put up with him?" she asked.

"He goes to Blackfriars Bridge," Grace said. "Not that it's the prettiest place in the world but...I can see why he goes there."

"What do you do?" Tessa said.

"I stand there and look at the water," Jem said. "The way it moves on no matter what happens in our petty lives. So, whatever Will has done to make me angry, it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. He's still my parabatai and my brother."

"Does that work?" Tessa asked.

"No," Jem grinned, looking over at Grace.

"But what does work is thinking about how we can kill him as he sleeps," Grace said. "I vote for suffocation to stop his mouth."

"I think I may go there someday," Tessa said. "I mean...if you'd let me." Jem smiled and tapped his cane thoughtfully.

"Come with me," he said, standing up and holding out his hand. "I'll show you now." Grace's necklace was hidden slightly by her gear but she could see the pink glow emanating from it. She smiled to herself.

"You go ahead," she said, winking at Jem. He gave her a confused smile.

"Umm...all right," he said as he hugged her. "Try and get some rest." Grace smiled.

"I'll try," she said. Grace watched them from the steps of the Institute as Jem guided Tessa through the gates. They rounded the corner and were gone into the night. She trotted back up the steps and closed the door behind her.

***

"Hey...Grace," Will said, opening the door to her room. He stood awkwardly in the doorway. Grace sat in her bed, leaning up against the pillows, her sketch book in her hand.

"Are you going to come in or not?" she asked, a little more harshly than she intended. Will slunk in sheepishly and perched on the bed. He leaned forward and rubbed his neck.

"Look," he sighed, "I may have gone too far earlier. You were right and I know that but it's just..."

"I know," Grace said, pulling her knees up to her chest. "You don't need to explain. You were upset and angry so you might have said things that you didn't mean."

"I do need to explain to you," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "That's the whole point."

"Will," Grace said. "You're scaring me. What are you talking about?"

"I've never told you the truth," he said. "I've stopped myself from telling you and Jem so many times. Tonight I went too far with my act." Grace closed her book and put it on her bedside table. She leant forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Will," she said. "You need to talk to me." He took a deep, shaky breath and turned to face her.

"I became a Shadowhunter for a reason," he said. "I ran away from home because if I stayed there, all my family would have died." Grace listened in silence as Will described how, when he was twelve, he opened a Pyxis that was in some of his father's things from the days he was a Shadowhunter. His eyes were full of emotion when he talked about what the demon did to his sister and how it cursed him, saying that everyone who ever loved Will would die at some point because of him. Grace had never seen Will cry, but tears slid down his cheeks then.

"Why didn't you ever tell us this?" she whispered. "We could have helped you, Will."

"I was afraid that if I ever loved anyone, and they loved me back, that they would die," he croaked. "That's why I act so awfully to Henry and Charlotte and Jessamine. God, if anything happened to Tessa because of me..."

"But what about Jem and I?" Grace asked.

"You two have suffered so much already," he said, shaking his head. "Jem is dying. I don't think the curse will affect him. And as for you, I don't think the curse will affect another demon, even if it is just part of it."

"I just wish you had told me sooner," Grace said. "God, things might have been different. But you have now, and I think you probably feel so much better." Will nodded and smiled faintly. It faded as something caught his eye.

"Wait, what's that?" he said. Grace looked down at her necklace.

Her pendant was glowing a vicious green.

"Jem," Grace whispered.

Just then the bell of the Institute started ringing frantically, like someone was swinging on it. Even from her room, Will and Grace could hear the door being yanked on but not opened.

"Oh dear God, no," Will said. Grace jumped up, grabbing a short sword and sprinted out of her room. Charlotte was rushing down the corridor as well but Grace passed her easily. She was at the door, Will a second behind her followed by Henry and Charlotte. Grace kicked the doors open, revealing dozens of metal creatures trying to yank Tessa down the steps. With a furious howl, Grace launched at them.

Will, Henry and Charlotte joined her, picking off the monsters one by one. She sliced the arms off the metal creatures, stabbing and pushing them back away from the Institute. Charlotte and Henry chased the remaining ones out of the gates, following them into the night. Grace turned back to Tessa who had sunk to the floor in shock. Will was shouting, trying to get any sort of sense out of her.

Meanwhile, Grace was frantically looking around for Jem. "Jem!" she cried. "Jem, please, where are you!? Jem!" She spotted him crumpled beside the doors and ran to him, kneeling by his side. "Will, get over here now!" Every word ripped her throat raw. She had never felt such blind, desperate panic. Not since Shanghai...

Will was by her side in a second. "James," he murmured. "Come on, James, wake up."

"Jem, please," Grace whispered. His chest was slick with blood from a gash but even worse was the blood trickling out from the corners of his mouth and the pale colour of his eyes. He was gasping for breath and mumbling some sort of nonsense. Will shouted for Thomas and they both lifted Jem. He groaned and coughed up a fountain of blood as they did so. They hurried inside, Grace ahead of them. She ran to Jem's room and kicked the door open. Will and Thomas laid Jem carefully on the bed. Will stumbled around the room, finding a glass, water and Jem's medicine.

Grace sat on the bed, holding Jem up so he wouldn't choke as he coughed up blood. Blood was bubbling in his mouth like a volcano. He shrieked and shouted out in Chinese, some of it so jumbled that Grace could only understand half of it. She pinned him down to the bed as he writhed and screamed, thrashing about like he was trying to fight an animal.

"Jem, it's me," Grace said.

"No! Get away!" Jem screamed then coughed again, the blood dripping down his chin.

"Will!" Grace cried. He hurried over as Grace pulled Jem up again, holding him as still she could as he struggled. Will poured his medicine down his throat. He relaxed, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, collapsing against Grace. She laid him down on the bed where he lay gasping and panting. Will drew an iratze on his chest and started wiping away the blood as Grace retreated backwards to the window seat, her hands going to her head.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," she whispered. Will looked up at her from Jem, holding out his hands.

"Grace, calm down," he said. But Grace wasn't listening. She could feel it rising in her chest as she struggled to breathe. Will came over and sat her down on the window seat, kneeling in front of her.

"Stay with me, Gracey," he said. He snapped his fingers and cupped her face with his hands. "Hey, hey, look at me. Look at me, Gracey." Grace did, gasping. "He's fine, all right? And so are you. Just breathe. Come on, you can do it. Deep breaths with me." Will helped her slow down her breathing down and stayed with her until she calmed down.

"Grace?" came a fragile voice. Jem had opened his eyes. "Will, is she all right?"

"Yes. Yes, she's fine," Will said, turning around. "But you need to rest."

"I-I want to talk to Tessa," he stammered.

"You can talk to her later," Will said, pulling up the blankets over Jem. "There is no need for you to tire yourself out now."

"Will, please, I want to talk to her," Jem insisted. Jem held Will's gaze until Will looked away.

"Fine," he muttered. "For you." He left the room but did not look happy about it. Jem looked at Grace who looked away, out of the window and at the moon.

"I'm going to tell her, Grace," he said a little breathlessly. "About you too."

"She's already guessed," Grace said but she knew what was coming next.

"That's not what I mean," Jem said. "She deserves to know what happened to us...to you. I would be dead tonight if it wasn't for her." Grace closed her eyes.

"I don't think I can tell her, Jem," she said. "I've blocked it out for years. It's too painful."

"For me too, Grace," Jem said. "But I trust her, Grace. She will not ridicule us like others do. And if she does, it'll be my fault. You and Will can blame me as much as you like. But I promise you she won't, Gracey. So please, be brave."

A few minutes later, Will came back in with Tessa. Immediately Jem went into his apology which Tessa denied, saying it was all her fault.

That's when Jem explained about what happened to them when they were young. "The demon tied us all to chairs in the great room and tortured me in front of our parents...and in front of Grace," he said, his voice straining with emotion. Grace kept her gaze firmly on the view out of the window but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jem glancing at her, waiting for her to break down. "It kept injecting demon poisons into me over and over again, making me swallow the burning stuff. I saw horrible and terrifying visions as it scorched me. It always made Grace watch; it was all part of it's plan." His hands were fists, enclosed around the pillow.

"You can stop, Jem," Tessa said. "I-I think Grace needs you to stop." But Jem wasn't listening.

"Our mother and father were always screaming for me," he said. "Not my English name, but my Chinese name: Jian. They made a deal, our mother and father when they found out that they were going to have twins. One of their children was going to have an English name and one a Chinese name, to represent both countries. I can still hear them screaming for me sometimes..."

"Jem," Grace croaked. "Please..." Her eyes were squeezed shut as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She could hear them now, their desperate pleas to spare their children. Grace covered her ears with her hands, rocking herself. It wasn't real. It was just trying to use her moment of weakness.

"Grace was fully conscious when it killed our parents," Jem continued. "But the whole time since it broke into the Institute, the demon was gnawing at her mind, trying to find a weak spot in her defences. I didn't even realise what it was doing until the Silent Brothers told me weeks later. Everything it did was to make Grace want to give up. It killed our parents not just for revenge but also to get to her. It hurt me not only to hurt my mother but again to get to Grace. She was so brave... She didn't give in to it, no matter what happened or what it did to me. That was until Yanluo threatened to kill me..."

"Please Jem," Grace whispered.

"It's all right, Gracey," Jem said. "I trust her, she won't judge you." Tessa looked between them.

"Judge her for what?" she asked. 

"Grace sacrificed herself to give me at least some kind of a life even though she knew that the demon poison was mostly likely to end it," Jem said to her.

"I can't, Jem," Grace said so quietly that she could have been mistaken for a gust of wind.

"Some Shadowhunters, like Gabriel Lightwood, believe that it was all Grace's fault that I'm...like I am," Jem said. "They are disgusted by her because she gave the demon permission to use her, just to save my life. Yanluo had this idea that if he managed to rip out the soul of a Shadowhunter, and use their body when he was on Earth, then he could be the most powerful demon ever. He would be able to kill hundreds of Shadowhunters and they wouldn't know what hit them because they would see the body of a Shadowhunter, but they wouldn't see the mind of a demon. This is what he wanted with her, why he tried to get to her through me. If she gave way, then it would have it's soldier."

Tessa looked over her shoulder at Grace. Her face displayed pure horror and sympathy. "Just like Magnus Bane said at the party," she whispered.

"He started ripping out her soul and replacing it with his own consciousness, bit by bit," Jem said, his voice full of burning hate and anger. "But he only managed to get part of it's consciousness in her soul before the Shanghai Enclave saved us and took us to the Silent Brothers. Once there, they found out that I was addicted to yin fen and Grace had become part demon. They couldn't get the demon out because it was like a barbed arrow, pull it out and you yank out some of your own flesh, or in this case, Grace's soul."

"I was unconscious for six weeks," Grace interrupted, her voice raw and fragile. "Plague by the demon's tricks and deceptions. It showed me my worst fears, made me watch as it replayed those days in the Shanghai Institute over and over. It was trying to escape and become whole again with the rest of Yanluo, for it's plan didn't work. Or, it was trying to take full control of me so I'd kill everyone. I was lucky the Enclave saved me when they did. Any longer, and every Shadowhunter in the world would be trying to bring that monster down. The Silent Brothers made a medicine that could control it if it became too great but there wasn't enough of it." She swallowed.

"Now you see, Tessa. This is my fear...my shame. I'm not just scared of the demon, I'm petrified of myself and what would happen if I ever let go. If the Magister ever got hold of me, I wouldn't be able to fight it off because of that medallion. And I would be responsible for the death of thousands. Don't you see? All of this is my fault. Jem's illness is my fault. I was too weak to fight it off fully. Or if I had just let it use me earlier and not have been scared, Jem would have his whole life stretched out before him."

"Oh Grace," Tessa said. "This isn't your fault at all. None of it, in fact."

"She doesn't believe it because it's what people made her believe," Jem said softly. "And one day, they'll kill her because of it." 

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The truth finally comes out. What do you think??? Were you expecting that??? You probably already kind of guessed it but I just gave you the rest of the details.

Will confessed to Grace as well! I kind of just thought that it would make sense.

So don't forget to comment and vote!

Love y'all!!!