Disclaimer: SOME of the dialogue in this chapter, all characters (but Grace and Philip), the main story line and settings belong to the magnificent Cassie Clare. Grace, Philip and my own story plot belong to me. The Infernal Devices do not belong to me.
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'There's such a difference between us
And a million miles.'

- Hello, Adele

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-*-*-*-*- Grace -*-*-*-*-
Grace had never liked silence. Even when she was trying to get to sleep, she always needed something in the background to gently lull her into a slumber. Noise was a good distraction.

But now, sitting in the carriage with Tessa, the silence had seemed to escalate to a whole new level. Grace felt more alone than ever, still tangled within her nightmares. At times, she even had to remind herself where she was, just so she wouldn't panic and think she was still trapped within the nightmare world she had been living in the past few weeks. What Yanluo had affected her more than she'd like to admit.

"Grace," Tessa said, suddenly breaking through the icy atmosphere. Grace looked over at her. "Have you told Will about what...what happened? Have you talked to him." Grace looked back out the window.

"No," she said.

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know." Tessa sighed deeply.

"I think he deserves to know," she said quietly. "He understands you better than anyone, apart from Jem, of course. Grace, he can't help you if you don't."

"I don't want to talk about it, Tessa," Grace said sharply. "I'm not sure if I'll ever want to talk about it. I didn't even want to tell you about Yanluo in the first place. I only ever attempted because..." She trailed off.

"It's all right, Grace," Tessa said. "I understand."

"No, you don't," Grace said. "I'm not one of your book characters, Tessa. I don't hide feeling and emotions inside then, just at the right moment in the story, suddenly reveal them. I'm not like Will."

Tessa was quiet for a moment. Then she spoke quietly: "I know you're not a character," she said. "But just so you know, if you do need to talk to someone, I'm here." Grace didn't answer as they drew up to the Silent City. She heard Tessa swallow hard as the carriage stopped and Cyril helped her down the steps. Grace stayed seated for a moment, composing herself.

"Miss?" Cyril asked. Grace was struck by how much like his brother he looked. Will had told her about Thomas and Agatha before she left. At the time, she didn't know how to deal with it but now, looking at Cyril, Grace remembered how much their servants meant to them.

"Thank you, Cyril," Grace said, jumping down. She was already back into her normal Shadowhunting gear, comforted by it's familiarity.

She joined Tessa and they walked to the steps, met by Brother Enoch.

"Grace," Brother Enoch said. If a Silent Brother could sound relieved, Brother Enoch did then. "I am glad you have awoken, but I am not glad that your brother's parabatai had to steal you from the Silent City to wake you." Grace bowed her head.

"Charlotte apologises," Tessa said quickly. "As does Will. But we have come to see Jessamine Lovelace."

"She was been questioned by the Mortal Sword but no knew information has been learnt," Brother Enoch replied. "But you may see her. Please, follow me."

They followed behind Brother Enoch down the steps, through a chamber then into the corridor where the Silent Brothers kept their prisoners. The Silent Brother stopped outside Jessamine's cell and unlocked the door. Tessa stepped inside but Grace hesitated.

"You go and talk to her first," she said. "Jessamine and I never really had a good relationship. Just, soften her to begin with. I shall join you in a moment." Tessa nodded, her grey eyes curious but she didn't question.

Grace turned to Brother Enoch. "Are you able to draw a file out of the archives for me?" she asked then gave him the name of what she wanted. He nodded and was about to turn away but Grace stopped him. "And, it is my understanding that you have Philip Blackthorn," she said. The Silent Brother nodded. "Could you take me to him, please?"

"He is allowed no visitors until he has been questioned thoroughly," Brother Enoch replied.

"Please, Brother Enoch," Grace said. "I have as much right as any." Brother Enoch thought on it then nodded his head slowly.

"Follow me," he said. "You won't have long with him. He is a prisoner of the Clave now." Grace nodded and walked slowly down the corridor. Brother Enoch unlocked a gate for her. "And Grace," he said. "I have to inform the Clave of you and Philip. There is no more hiding from them. I do not know what their decision will be, but I assure you that I shall try my best to make you comfortable here if your fate is to become a prisoner."

It wasn't the most heartfelt thing to say, but it was one of the most heartfelt things a Silent Brother could have said, so Grace appreciated it. She nodded and headed into the cell.

Philip lay on the bed, his arms crossed in front of him. He looked up as the cell door slammed behind Grace. His lips parted in shock.

"So Miss Gray actually did it," he said quietly. Grace didn't answer, just watched him. Philip stood from the bed but kept his distance.

"Grace, I am so sorry for what I-" he started but Grace cut his off.

"I don't want to hear it, Philip," she said. "Will has already told me everything I need to know. Apart from one thing."

"What is that?" he asked. "Whatever it is, I promise that I'll answer it for you. I owe you much more than an answer, but it's a start." Grace walked towards the small cracked mirror on the wall, staring at herself. She looked a mess; there were dark shadows under her eyes, her skin looked pale and her dark hair falling from the bun she had quickly tied up before leaving the Institute.

"Will said that you are still claiming you love me," she said. "I don't want to know why or how that came to be, and I don't want to know either. That's not important anymore."

"Then, what is important to you?" Philip asked gently. Grace met his eyes in the mirror.

"What kind of person did you think I was to accept the offer you made to me that day in the Sanctuary?" Philip looked down, shuffling his feet.

"Do you want the truth?" he asked. Grace nodded. "All right, I'll tell you," he sighed. "I honestly thought you'd take my offer. You were so tired, on the verge of breaking. I wanted to help you escape. In my heart of hearts, I knew that the Magister was lying when he said he had a way to heal you. But I wanted so desperately to be the hero...your hero." He took a deep breath. "I never thought you were a selfish person, Grace. I only thought that you deserved to be free. So, to answer your question as honestly as I can, I thought you were weak."

"And now?"

"You proved me wrong," he said quietly. He came up behind her and took her hand. "You are the strongest person I know." Grace froze for a second then ripped her hand away. She stepped back towards the cell door where a new Silent Brother was waiting to let her out.

"I'll let you know of your family if need be when you become a mundane," was all she said. "Or, if I become a prisoner too, I'll get Will or Jem to give you news. That's the best I can do for you. Goodbye, Philip." Before he could stop her, she walked out of the cell, hearing the last clang of the door behind her.

***
"Grace," Jessamine said quietly, her voice fragile. "I wondered when you'd show up. You look ghastly, by the way." Grace rolled her eyes, thinking of the Jessamine she knew in her dream.

"Not to be rude, but you don't look too magnificent either, Jessamine," Grace replied curtly. She huffed in reply. Jessamine was stood by her bed, her posture stiff and upright. Tessa was sat on the bed and looked at Grace expectantly.

"So you knew I'd wake up," Grace continued. "I trust Nathaniel Gray told you that Tessa could do that." Jessamine nodded, an air of her previous pride returning.

"I have told her what she needs to do," Tessa said. "But the question is, will she do it?"

"I don't know," Grace said, leaning on the wall. "Will you Jessamine?"

"No," she said. "I will not betray my husband! We made an oath to each other. When he comes and gets me, you will all be sorry!" Grace laughed but it wasn't a cruel one.

"He's not coming to get you, Jessie," she said softly. "He never will. Don't you see? He used you, like a tool. He doesn't love you. You don't even know what love is."

"And you do?" Jessamine snarled. "I've seen you and Philip Blackthorn. I've seen the way he looks at you. I feel sorry for him, because you are totally incapable of love because of the monster you are!" Grace took two long strides towards Jessamine, catching her arm and pinning her to the wall. Jessamine yelped and Tessa scrambled off the bed, looking at Grace in shock.

"Listen you spoilt brat," Grace hissed. "I've just got back from hell, so there's no way I'm going to stand here and let you mouth me off. You want to know about love? The only people that ever loved you were Charlotte and Henry. They took you in and raised you when they could have sent you off to the Academy, forced to train until you collapsed.

"So, if you want any chance of returning to the only people who ever cared about your wellbeing, you are going to write a letter to Nathaniel Gray and you are going to tell him that you have secret Shadowhunter information that you must report immediately, in person. You will tell him that the Shadowhunters know where he is and that they plan on attacking him. You will tell him that if he doesn't listen to you, they'll send me and Tessa of to Idris where he can't lay a hand on us. Do you understand?"

"You can't make me," Jessamine whimpered.

"Oh you are so wrong," Grace said. "You're looking at a girl who has been to hell and back. I can make you do anything."

"Grace!" Tessa said. "That's enough!" Grace released Jessamine and spun around wiping the sweat off her forehead.

"Jessamine please," Tessa said. "Jem's life is on the line." Jessamine looked to Grace for an agonizingly long time.

"You know," she said, finally. "Despite you being the most infuriating person I know, I always admired the dedication you showed to you family, Grace. Even to me, sometimes." She straightened herself. "Give me a pen and some paper. I'll write the letter."

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