Disclaimer: SOME of the dialogue in this chapter, all characters (but Grace and Philip), the main story line and settings belong to the magnificent Cassie Clare. Grace, Philip and my own story plot belong to me. The Infernal Devices do not belong to me.

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'When it's just us, you show me what it feels like to be lonely
You show me what it feels like to be lost
I'll take your hand for you to let it go let it go let it go.'

- Halcyon, Ellie Goulding

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-*-*-*-*- Grace -*-*-*-*-

Grace was the last to enter the drawing room out of all the inhabitants of the Institute. Cecily was already seated in a chair by the fire, Will next to her but slightly turned away. He was leaning on the mantelpiece and staring into the flames, obviously deep in thought. He didn't look up when she entered, but she could see his eyes darken. Maybe he was still angry at her.

Charlotte and Henry sat next to each other behind Charlotte's desk. They were talking quietly, their heads together, Charlotte's hand resting lightly on her stomach. A protective mother even before the baby arrives, Grace thought to herself.

Jem and Tessa sat next to each other on the sofa opposite Cecily's chair while the Lightwood brothers stood formally a little way off. Gabriel's gaze kept drifting towards Cecily as his brother talked to him. Grace wasn't sure what she felt about that right now. At first, the thought of Gabriel Lightwood having a romantic regard towards anyone made her feel sick, but now she wasn't so sure. She had misjudged his character, but by how much was the question.

"Grace," Charlotte sighed tiredly. "Come and join us." Jem gave her an encouraging smile as she settled herself in an armchair next to Charlotte's desk and between Cecily's chair and Jem and Tessa's sofa.

"I have called you here because I have received a disturbing piece of correspondence," Charlotte said. "From the Magister."

"The Magister?" Tessa asked, clearly shocked. "He actually wrote to you?"

"Not to inquire about your health, one presumes," Will said dryly. "What does he want?" Charlotte picked up the piece of parchment on her desk.

"I will read you the letter," she said. Clearing her throat, she began to read:

My Dear Mrs Branwell,

Forgive me for troubling you at what must be a distressing time for your household. I was grieved, though I must confess not shocked, to hear of Mr Carstairs's grave indisposition.

I believe you are aware that I am the happy possessor of a large - I might say exclusively large - portion of the medicine that Mr Carstairs requires for his continued well-being. Thus we find ourselves in the most interesting situation, which I am eager to resolve to the satisfaction of us both. I would be very glad to make an exchange: If you are willing to confide Miss Gray to my keeping, I will place a large portion of yin fen in yours.

I send a token of my goodwill. Pray let me know your decision by writing to me. If the correct sequence of numbers that are printed at the bottom of this letter, are spoken to my automaton, I am sure to receive it.

Yours sincerely,

Axel Mortmain.

The room was silent as everyone took in the information. The first thing Grace thought was that Mortmain didn't ask for her in return for Jem's yin fen. He didn't want her anymore. She always knew that she wasn't a need like Tessa was. He actually needed to Tessa to complete his plans. Grace was just the salt to rub in the wounds of the Shadowhunters once he had control. So perhaps he had decided that she wasn't worth the risk to obtain.

She looked up at Jem who had paled, his fists clenched on his knees. His face was tight with anguish. Will wouldn't even face any of them. He had turned so none of them could read his expression, but Grace could see how tense his shoulders was.

"Mortmain wants me," Tessa said, breaking the silence. "In exchange for Jem's yin fen."

"This is ridiculous," Jem said. "The letter should be given to the Clave to discover Mortmain's whereabouts, but that is all."

"They won't be able to discern anything from it," Will said quietly. "The Magister is too clever for that."

"But this is not cleverness," Jem said. "It is the crudest form of blackmail!"

"I do not disagree," Will said. "I say we take the yin fen as a blessing, and ignore the rest."

"Mortmain wrote the letter about me," Tessa interrupted them. "It is my decision. I will go." There was another silence. Grace stood from her chair, gaining everyone's attention.

"Tessa," she said. "I know that you think that what you are doing is honourable, but just take a moment to think. We don't know what Mortmain will do if he gets you, and more yin fen will not cure Jem. Just think about it." For an odd moment, the look in Jem's eyes was almost proud. But then he turned back to Tessa.

"Grace is right," he said, rising to his feet. "You cannot go, Tessa." Tessa rose to her feet as well, staring at her fiancé.

"I can," she said. "You are my fiancé, Jem, and I cannot allow you to die when I could have done something to help. Mortmain does not mean me any physical harm-"

"You do not know what he means," Will cried but then fell silent. He was gripping the mantlepiece so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

"What Will is trying to say," Grace said. "Is that there are a lot worse things than just physical harm, Tessa. I would know." Tessa looked at them both, a fierce light in her eyes.

"If it were you, Will, that Mortmain wanted, you would go," she said. "And Grace, don't think I don't know that you've been sneaking off each night, and in the morning, Jem would seem to have more yin fen and you would be barely alive. We know you've been up to something, so you cannot tell me what I can and can't do."

"Yes, you're right," Grace told her. "I have been fighting Downworlders in a fight club for more yin fen." Everyone, apart from Jem and Will, looked at her with a mixture of shock, sadness and anger. "But Will and Jem found out, and I realised that no matter how much I fought, I can't stop what is going to happen. If you go Mortmain now, it will be wasted because nothing will change."

"Don't pretend that if you weren't in my position, you wouldn't go," Tessa said. "I know you would go. Both you and Will."

"They wouldn't," Jem said. "Because I would forbid them as well." Tessa looked at him with anger. Grace's crystal was also flashing a fierce red.

"You cannot forbid me," she said, her voice rising. "Anymore than you could forbid Grace or Will."

"I can for a very simple reason," Jem said. "The drug is not a cure, Tessa. It will only extend my living. I will not let you throw away your life for the remnant of mine. And if you go to Mortmain, it will be for nothing. I still won't take the drug." Grace's stomach contracted. She didn't think Jem would go that far. She went forwards, placing her hand on Jem's shoulder as if she could push the two apart.

"Jem, I don't think-" But it was no use. Jem and Tessa were staring at each other as if no one else was in the room, as if she wasn't standing between them..

"You would not insult me by hurling a sacrifice I made for you back in my face like that," Tessa breathed. Jem pushed past her and stalked towards Charlotte's desk, seizing the packet and the letter.

"I would rather insult you than lose you," he said. Grace knew what was about to happen before anyone else did. She took a step forward but even she wasn't fast enough. Jem turned and cast both items into the fire.

The room erupted into chaos. Grace dove at Jem, tackling him to the ground. They tumbled across the floor until Grace came out on top, yanking Jem to his feet and pinning him to the wall, her forearm across his throat to prevent him from doing anything else.

That was when she heard a cry of agony. Will had dropped to his knees and had thrust both hands into the fire, scrambling for the letter and the packet of yin fen. Cecily shrieked, grabbing her brother by the shoulders and pulling him back. The packet fell to the floor where Gideon stamped out the flames.

Will slumped back against Cecily, his whole body shaking. His hands were scarlet with large, white blisters bubbling on his skin, his breathing harsh and shallow.

"Will," Grace said, looking over her shoulder. "Will, talk to me." But Will couldn't speak. His breath was hitching.

"Oh my god, Will," Jem said, trying to go towards him but Grace kept him in place. "Let me go, Grace," he said, but it wasn't harsh; it was desperate. "Please, let me go to him." Grace gave him a long, hard look.

"Can I trust you?" she asked. "Can I trust that you won't try anything stupid?" He nodded.

"You can trust me." She released him, stepping back as Jem rushed past her and fell to his knees beside Will, drawing multiple iratzes on his skin.

"I'm so sorry, Will," he said under his breath. "I am so sorry. Will, I'm so sorry."

Grace knelt to the ground and gathered up the small pile of yin fen in a handkerchief, handing it to Jem. But he wasn't looking at her. He watched as Tessa unfroze from her shock and walked from the room.

"Grace," he choked, flicking his desperate gaze towards her. He didn't have to ask. She could see the confliction in his eyes. He wanted to go after her, but he didn't want to leave Will either. She laid a hand on his shoulder, and left the room after Tessa.

***

"Tessa?" Grace called, knocking on Tessa's door. "Tessa, it's me. Are you all right?" There was no answer from inside.

Grace sighed and slid down the door, sitting so her back was to it. "I know that you are upset," she said, hoping that Tessa was listening. "It isn't easy, losing someone you love. You want to do everything you can to save them. But even if it is to save someone's life, there is still a boundary between right and wrong."

Tessa still wasn't answering, but Grace could hear some shuffling from inside the room. Maybe she was seeing sense?

"And you're right," Grace continued. "If that letter arrived a week ago, and if Mortmain still wanted me, I probably would have gone to him. But last night, Jem helped me realise that no matter how hard I try, nothing will stop what is coming. And it will be hard, it will be so desperately hard, but together, we can make it through."

"I'm not giving up on him," Tessa said quietly from the other side of the door. "We will find a cure. We have to, because I can't lose him. If not, Grace, I don't think I would be able to stop myself from going to Mortmain to buy us a little more time."

"Tessa, I think-" Grace sighed then broke off. "Will you let me in? Please?" There was a silence as Tessa hesitated. Finally, she opened the door and Grace slipped quietly inside.

Tessa looked a mess. Her eyes were ringed red where she had been crying and her dress crumpled from sitting on the floor. She looked gaunt and tired, her eyes shadowed and her cheeks hollowed.

She sat on her bed while Grace pulled the chair from the vanity table, easing herself into it. "Look, I thought this was better to say behind closed doors," Grace said. "Giving yourself to Mortmain will not only be giving a valued weapon into the enemy's hands, but it will also break their hearts."

"Who's heart?" Tessa asked, trying to play dumb but Grace could see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"I think you know who I mean, Tessa," Grace said. "Will and Jem." Tessa's eyes widened.

"How did you-?"

"Oh please," Grace said with a smile. "Of course I know that they both love you. You forget, they are all the family I have, so I do know them all quite well." She paused for a moment. "And also, Will told me."

"He told you?" Tessa asked. "When?"

"At first I guessed it," Grace said. "He told me about his curse the night you and Jem were attacked. He was so scared that it would hurt you, so I agreed to help him, because I knew the walls about his heart were coming down. But then the Institute was attacked and I went to sleep, causing everything to go wrong. But do you remember what I said in the Sanctuary that night?"

"You told me to look after them both," Tessa replied.

"But can you remember what I said to Will?" she asked. Tessa shook her head. "I told him this: 'You have to go to Magnus if you are ever going to be free to love her.'" She could see Tessa putting all the pieces together.

"Oh," she said. "Oh my God. You meant me, didn't you?" Grace smiled sadly and nodded. She stood from her seat and walked to the window, gazing out into London. 

"I've known both Will and Jem loved you from the beginning," she said. "And I'm sorry, Tessa, because I encouraged them both. I didn't realise what I had done until it was too late, and I put you and Will in the most awful position. I am so sorry for that." Grace thought Tessa was going to cry, or shout at her, or do something. But she just sat there, her hands still on her lap.

"I forgive you," she said quietly. "You were only helping your brothers. And, in a way, you were faced with the same choice I was. Choose Will or Jem, Jem or Will. It is an impossible choice."

"You cannot love one if you don't love the other," Grace murmured. "You love them both too, don't you?" Tessa nodded slowly.

"Yes," she whipered.

"Then you must not go to Mortmain, Tessa," Grace said. "I will get on my knees and beg you, if I must. Leaving them now would destroy them both, and I cannot have that. I forbid it of you. If you truly love them both, do this for me. Don't break their hearts." Tessa looked at her, eyes wide.

"I never thought anyone else would understand," she whispered. "But you do." She cleared her throat, straightening up. "I won't go to Mortmain. It was stupid to even think of it." Grace inwardly sighed with relief. That was one crisis avoided today.

"I will leave you," Grace said. "I must check on Will."

"Yes, of course," Tessa said, rising to her feet and opening the door for her. "And Grace," she called as Grace was walking down the corridor. She turned.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

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And we all know what happens in a few chapters time... I'm so excited for that part. I still haven't decided how I'm going to write it yet. Literally I've got two drafts of the story saved on here that I need to decide between but I'm not suuuuuuure. I'll think of something, it's fine.

Sooooooooo, what did you think of this one??? Like it, not like it? Pease comment and vote as always!!!

Love y'all!