Free Toaster With Interview

Kay shuffled down the narrow stairwell to the Cave, a sodden cardboard box under one arm. The rain fit her mood for the walk home, but now she stood in a self made puddle as she fumbled for her keys. Her key copy stuck, as usual, so she jiggled the doorknob to coax the tumblers until the knob came off in her hands.

The will drained out of her right about then. Kay slumped forward and hit her forehead against the door with a quiet, defeated thud. She stayed there until Jess eased it open from the other side and enveloped her in a warm fluffy towel. She didn't even question how Jess knew, simply accepted the care as Jess tugged her inside all the way to the bathroom where her friend pushed her down on top of the toilet lid and put her hands on her hips as she studied Kay.

"Why didn't you take the bus home?" Jess didn't bother to ask about the latest interview. After nearly nine weeks, this was a familiar song and dance, the only difference being the location as Kay lowered her standards with each Friday that rolled around. She'd gone from law student to an unemployable black sheep. At first Kay tried to maintain an air of optimism that she would recover from the black mark. But when everyone from the private sector to the public offices looked at her like a snake in a silly hat, she moved onto the various office jobs in the hopes of something viable.

Kay's black mark did worse than trickle down. It flooded. The writing was on the wall when she attended today's interview at a hardware store. It started pleasant enough, until the interviewer pulled her record up on his computer.

Her stomach bottomed out as his face paled three shades later.

She felt hollow inside thinking about it now. "I lost my bus money." To a delicious bagel. Kay skipped breakfast most days, but her nerves needed something to shred and the corner deli by the hardware store smelled like heaven after a week of ramen noodles.

Jess's brow crinkled. She nodded to the box Kay still had under one arm. "What's that?"

"Free toaster with interview," mumbled Kay. The bath looked awfully inviting. Now that she was inside the air conditioned Cave, her saturated clothes caused her to shiver.

"Hey, that's something," said Jess. "We shall have toast!"

"I didn't get the job," said Kay.

"I know," said Jess. "Why don't you take a bath? I made dinner."

Kay sniffled. "You're the best wifey."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Bathe. You can't find a job if you have pneumonia."

Kay managed to refrain from mentioning she wouldn't have much luck either way as Jess closed the door behind her. Kay peeled off her wet clothes. She groaned out loud as she sank into the porcelain tub, an older mud brown model from the seventies, long enough for her lanky body to mostly fit. The heat seeped into her bones and banished the cold. Kay sank down until the water tickled her nostrils. What the hell was she going to do?

Her bank account was dry. Her car insurance was delinquent. The hardest blow was two weeks ago, when the college informed her that her financial aid was denied in light of her salty fiasco. She'd deferred her student loans rather than make the call to her parents, who hadn't expected to start payments for another two years. Yesterday, the letter arrived that since she failed to pay tuition in full, she would not be attending classes come the fall semester.

Her future disintegrated in less than three months, but at least she got a free toaster out of the mix. Kay exhaled through her nose. The water rippled under her nostrils. She was royally effed with a capital F. Jess's income easily supported one person, but two people had to be strain, though Jess refused to bring it up. Kay sank deeper. The water bubbled violently with her smothered shriek. She didn't deserve Jess. She had to find a way to fix this dammit. She was now at fast food level applications, but even that wasn't a sure fire bet. It was time to think outside the box, though she would flip burgers all damn day if it brought in income.

Her fingers were thoroughly pruned by the time she dragged herself out of the lukewarm water to towel off. She wasn't any closer to a solution but at least she was warm and dry. A vaguely familiar smell teased the air as she opened the door.

"Come, eat the food of my people." Jess slid a bowl of Matzo ball soup across the kitchen counter with a turn of the wrist so the Matzo balls rolled in the broth, bobbing an invitation to Kay as she took a seat on one of two stools.

"Oh man, I haven't had this since senior year. What brought on Grandma's home cooking?"

Jess shrugged. "Rainy day like this, I miss New England."

"The whole cluster, or a piece of it in particular?"

Jess threw a spoon at her. "Smart ass. You know what I mean. I'm stressed, I cook."

Kay stared down into her soup long enough for Jess to fling the junk mail off the counter at her. "No moping! This is a mope free zone! You aren't the root of my stress, Noodle-head, so put that bad karma thoughts to rest."

"But the bum on your couch isn't helping," said Kay. She stooped to scoop the junk mail off the floor. Jess would leave it there until she slid on it. She tossed the pile of credit card offers and a pulpy penny saver on the counter next to her.

The wafer thin pages lazily flipped open to the paper's natural crease, right on the classifieds. Kay arched a brow. What sort of businesses advertised in the penny saver? A familiar sparkly advert caught her eye.

Fantasy Land INC is hiring at all levels. No experience necessary to apply. We are an affiliate of the Second Chance Program. The message ended with an innocuous number to call.

Kay blinked. "What's the Second Chance Program?"

"Eh?" Jess glanced over. "For ex cons, maybe?"

Kay prodded her matzo balls, lost in thought. Technically, she could say she'd been 'convicted'. She certainly had the marred record to fit the bill. Just because she hadn't seen the inside of a cell didn't mean she didn't deserve a second chance. She stabbed apart her Mazto ball, breaking off chunks. It wouldn't hurt to call them.

Working for some theme park trumped flipping burgers, though she bet they wouldn't give her a free toaster with the interview. Tomorrow, she would call while Jess was at work and wouldn't have to witness the fallout of another failure.

Settled on a course of action, she dug into the meal with gusto and nudged Jess to vent. Her roomie needed a good venting session. Kay had sucked up all the angst in the apartment with her continued failure to find employment. She'd gladly hand over the baton for a night. It didn't take much for Jess to explode with the tangle of work drama she'd been mired in the past few days. She ranted about their failure to properly upgrade their systems and how they constantly complained the system didn't work because they never listened when she told them what to do. Kay felt like a terrible friend. Jess must have bottled this up for days. She was wandering into petty territory by the time midnight chimed on the wall clock.

Jess managed to tamp down before she good and frothy over one co-workers desk collection of cherub statues. "A bunch of fat babies with wings, Kay, I swear their eyes follow you around the room. Okay, midnight rule. I cooked, you put away, we both live to eat another day."

"Yeah, yeah, you know I'm just going to shove the whole pot in the fridge right?"

"I expect nothing less," said Jess. She headed off to her bedroom, still an eye smarting disaster zone despite having moved in for a solid couple months. "No more moping. Sleep. We ride at dawn!"

"Don't play your Switch all night," said Kay

"Fine, mother," Jess sneered as she dramatically shut the door behind her. She'd still be up for an hour or so, gaming. Kay didn't know how she managed to keep her pace on so little sleep.

Kay, herself, was exhausted. Weary. She wished it was a little earlier so she could call and talk to her parents. She'd hadn't spoken to them since the day she moved into the Cave, though they'd left her several messages as the notices started to roll in. They weren't the only messages she had.

Sometimes, when she was feeling particularly spiteful, she'd playback the saved message of the Jerk seething over his hacked social media. He tossed a few predictable insults at her, but hearing the utter frustration in his voice made her whole freaking day. Nothing less than he deserved.

She was tempted to play the message now. Instead she thumbed in the number from the penny saver ad. It was midnight, no one would possibly answer. Least she could see if it was an automated server or if she would talk to real people when she called in the morning. Kay hit the green call button without thinking. Her eyelids dragged down, half closed when the call clicked. A tinny voice emerged through the speaker of her cell.

"Hello, you have reached Fantasy Land INC, this is Jerry speaking, how may I direct your call?"

Kay blinked, her drowsiness fled with a rush of nervous energy. Crap! Did they have an answering service on the other side of the world? Jerry didn't have an accent but that didn't mean anything. Maybe it was a really smart robot. Those automated messages got craftier and craftier every year.

"Hello? Is someone there?"

"Uh, hello?"

"Good evening! How may I help you?"

"Are--are you a real person?"

There was a small pause on the other end of the line. "Last time I checked?"

"What are you doing there in the middle of the night?"

"Answering curious phone calls," said Jerry. "Do you have any other questions today, miss?"

Kay swallowed, her throat suddenly bone dry. She managed not to cough in Jerry's ear as she regained her composure. "Uh, the ad said you were hiring. Is that still the case?"

"That was never the case," said Jerry.

Kay was glad the man couldn't see her body droop like a fudgesicle on a hot sidewalk. "Oh."

"I'm not in charge of the hiring. You want to get hired, you come in for an interview and assessment. What is your availability?"

Kay held the phone away to glare at it for a moment. This is what she got for a midnight phone call; dad jokes. "You have any kids, Jerry?"

"Good guess, I have two boys and a girl," he said. "What gave it away?"

"Nothing," she said. Kay hesitated. It seemed the epitome of stupid to tell on herself like this but she would rather clear the air now than watch another potential employer turn the color of brie when they pulled up her file. "Jerry, about the Second Chance Program? Does that apply to, um, er, black marks, too?"

Kay held her breath but Jerry didn't even pause.

"Oh, yeah sure, everyone is welcome to take the assessment. We don't discriminate anyone's past here, but we do offer a fresh start. Does this mean you're interested in an interview and assessment?"

"Yes, yes I want one," said Kay, a little too fast, but Jerry appeared to read the mood as eager rather than desperate.

"Excellent! I'll need your name and what day is good for you to come in."

"Kay Oritz," she said. She released the breath she forgot she held, light headed from the gush of air. "Do you have any slots available tomorrow?"

"Let's see what we have here," said Jerry.

As Kay waited, she ran a hand over the couch cushions. Two months of sleeping on the damn thing quickly proved that it was not an ideal bed. It now bore a Kay shaped groove that conformed to her left side and played hell on her back when she shifted in her sleep. It smelled faintly of Fritos and lavender from Jess's many attempts to banish the former smell. The wood frame whined when she rolled over and woke her up every time, but it was exemplary of Jess's goodwill and kindness. The first thing Kay wanted to do when she had the extra funds was buy her friend a better couch.

Maybe a pull out.

"We have a ten o'clock open," said Jerry.

"In the morning?" They did have a midnight answering service.

"Yes, of course." He didn't have to make it sound like such a silly question.

"I'll take it," said Kay. "You don't happen to give away appliances with every interview?"

"Not unless you steal them out of the break room," said Jerry. "But, please, leave the coffee pot. That gets the most mileage. "

A smile twitched her lips. A company that hired someone like Jerry couldn't be all bad.

"Thank you. Have a good night Jerry."

"You too, Ms. Oritz. Good luck with your assessment."

It wasn't until after he hung up Kay thought to ask what the assessment was about. Would she have to take a test? A buzz of panic tugged at her tired body. She had an interview. She didn't ask for the address. Hell, she didn't ask what Fantasy Land INC actually entailed. Fantastic, this is what she got for making important phone calls at midnight. Grumbling, Kay opened up google on her phone and typed the company name into her search bar. Fantasy Land INC popped up in the first link. She clicked open a nondescript website that said Fantasy Land INC, Protectors of Dreams. What kind of company tagline was that? A logo of crossed swords didn't do much to clarify their purpose either. There were no about or description links. Though there was a listed address that fell in the warehouse district of the city.

"Curiouser and curiouser," said Kay. Maybe they were some sort of discreet entertainment company? She decided the mystery of the company didn't matter so much as resting up for the interview. Kay curled up into her personal couch groove and forced her mind to clear. Whatever Fantasy Land INC did, she would find out tomorrow. 

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