"I didn't lose hope. I knew we'd meet again." I could smell his scent so close to me as his breath brushed softly against my nape. Siniksik niya ang mukha sa leeg ko. "Belacour—"

"Don't," I cut him off pero hindi ako gumalaw, not even to try taking off his embrace. "Don't say it."

"Why?" bulong niya.

Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ang tibok ng puso niya mula sa likuran. This is so fucking out of my character. Hindi ako tumitiklop ng ganito but with him, I don't know... I just don't know.

"You hate me, right? Let's keep it that way." Kumalas ako sa yakap at walang emosyon siyang hinarap.

Naguguluhan niya akong tinignan. "Why, Belacour? Is it because you're differ—"

"Because there is no room for love in my life." Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Kung ginawa mo 'to dahil naaawa ka sa 'kin, you don't have to. Wala akong oras para sa mga gano'ng bagay."

"Talaga ba? But for Genesis, you have time?"

Nagtagpo ang kilay ko. Ano'ng pinagsasabi nito?

"Alam kong kinausap mo si Genesis sa likod ng academy. You were there that day... and I just don't understand why you can talk to him but not me when I know you better than he does."

"Just because you saw me in my raven wings doesn't mean you know me well, Carwell," I stated.

Sandali siyang natigilan. "Then why? Why didn't you tell me you were there?"

"Because I have nothing to tell you."

"Liar," unti-unting lumambot ang boses niya, "Do you remember what I told you the last time we met? Didn't you even wonder why?"

I remember it perfectly, Carwell. Ikaw na ang pinakahindi ko inaasahang dadalaw sa 'kin sa ganoong sitwasyon ay siya pang nag-iisang nagtanggol sa 'kin. Of course, I would remember that. How could I ever forget the day you risked your life for somebody like me?

"Carwell," tawag ko sa kaniya, "when I look at you, I see the same man I met at the dormitory hallway several months ago. I'd like for us to remain that way."

Para sa ikabubuti ng lahat. Para sa ikabubuti mo.

"I don't understand..."

"Just... just don't say it for me."

Tumalikod na ako sa kaniya at naglakad paalis. Hindi pa ako nakakalayo ay muli kong narinig ang sigaw niya.

"I missed you!"

I clenched my fist. Pakiramdam ko'y uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko. But I didn't turn around, bagkus ay mas binilisan ko ang paglalakad. I kept on swallowing hoping it would ease the lump in my throat.

"I don't even know why it feels like this. I don't know when and why I started feeling this way. You... you're making me crazy, Belacour!"

You're just confused, Carwell. Maybe, like me, you're just torn between everything that's going on. Maybe, it's all just in your head.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang isang butil ng luha sa pisngi ko. Here it goes again. Naninikip na naman ang dibdib ko. Masakit na naman. Putang ina.

I didn't hear him utter anything anymore until I finally reached the cabin. Nadatnan kong nag-uusap sina Demi at Milka pagpasok ko. They tried to call me but I rushed to my room and slammed the door shut.

Napaupo ako sa sahig nang tuluyan nang nasara ang pinto. I curled to my knees and leaned my head on them. Unti-unting tumulo ang mga luha ko. I tried wiping them but each time I try, the more it hurts. In the end, I clasped my hand over my mouth, hoping that no one behind the door could hear me crying.

So this is how it feels like. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam na hindi mo masabi lahat dahil mali. Maling mali. Ang sakit. Tila tinutusok ng libo-libong karayom ang dibdib ko.

Kung pwede ko lang sana akong magpakatotoo. Hindi ko sasayangin ang bawat pagkakataong nandiyan ka sa tabi ko, Caelum.

"HEY," tawag sa akin ni Demi. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Umiling ko. "Aalis ako."

"Where are you going?"

"Palace." Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya. I don't want to hear her lectures for now, and most definitely I don't wanna talk about Carwell and Milka.

Sinuot ko na ang pula kong cloak. I also wore my mask with me as well as my gloves just to make sure I won't leave any traces.

I dropped the portal seeds on the ground, emitting a bluish mist in oval form. Pumasok agad ako roon. Niluwa ako nito sa tagong parte ng castle grounds, doon sa hintuan ng mga karwahe.

Sumalubong sa 'kin ang pamilyar na courtyard kung saan una kong nasilayan ang higanteng palasyo ng Forthmore. The same statue was still erected on the center. The last time I saw her, I didn't really care who she was. Pero ngayon, I think I'm starting to understand the things she did.

Napailing na lamang ako bago nag-transform sa shadow form ko. Sakto namang may mga kawal na dumaan sa hindi kalayuan kaya maingat ko silang sinundan. We passed through the familiar main hall of the palace with its gigantic windows and golden chandeliers screaming in flamboyance.

We entered another room full of weapons and armours. Ang gilid naman ay may nakahilerang mga drawers samantalang ang kalahati nito ay natatakpan ng magarbong kurtina. Nilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid. This is certainly not the room I was looking for.

"Nabigay mo na ba sa hari ang sulat na pinadala ng akademya?" tanong ng lalaking kalalabas lang sa kurtina. Wala itong pantaas na damit.

"May kausap pa ang hari sa silid pulungan pero ihahatid ko sa kaniya ito mamaya," sagot naman no'ng isa. Nakatanggap siya ng batok mula sa lalaking nakahubad.

"Kanina ko pa 'yan binigay sa 'yo ah. Paano kung importante ang laman niyan? Tayong lahat na naman ang mananagot sa katangahan mo."

Walang nagawa ang lalaki. Yumuko na lang ito at kinuha ang sulat, saka siya lumabas ng silid. I followed him until we reached the conference chamber.

Kumatok siya ng tatlong beses bago pumasok sa loob. But he was quick to shut the door, hindi ako nakasunod sa kaniya. Nababagot kong tiningnan ang pulang pintuan hanggang sa makarinig ako ng singhal mula sa loob. Seconds later, the knight came rushing away from the room. Nagmamadali itong tumakbo palabas habang sapo ang kamay niyang naging bato.

Naiyukom ko ang kamao. Walang hiya talaga ang Zuri na 'to.

Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa pintuan nang muli akong makarinig ng sigaw. It wasn't Zuri's voice though. It was a cry for help. Sobrang pamilyar ng boses niya but I can't seem to remember where I heard that voice.

I stared at the gap that the knight left. I can't pass through this. So, I bent down and peeked through it. Naningkit ang mata ko habang sinusubukang tingnan ang nangyayari loob.

Rage filled my entire system when I recognized the two men inside. Mahigpit na nakahawak si Zuri sa leeg ng matandang lalaki. Kilalang kilala ko ang mukha niya. He seemed like a woman in a man's clothing — Mr. Shawth, the owner of the Gloysh Inn.

"Tell me again, old hag, will you still not do it?"

My forehead creased. Do what?

"Y-You've done it once, my king... H-Hindi na ito tama..."

"That's how you want to serve your king? Magmamarunong ka?"

Muling napahiyaw si Mr. Shawth nang marahas siyang sinampal ni Zuri.

"Have you forgotten how I saved your granddaughter from those rebels?! Is this how you will pay me?!"

"N-no, my king. I only meant to say that too much of this thing can corrupt one's mind..."

"Dear, dear, Shawth, why would it ever corrupt me? I would use your greatest invention to instill peace and order in this beautiful kingdom. I will even put your statue along with mine," Zuri paused, unti-unting naging kulay abo ang mga mata niya at mistulang may usok na lumabas mula sa kaniyang mga kamay na siyang nakahawak sa leeg ni Sir Shawth, "but if you dare to disobey me, babawiin ko ang ikalawang buhay ng apo mo."

His words instantly made Mr. Shawth tremble in fear. Paulit-ulit siyang umiling. "I-I will do whatever you say... J-Just don't touch my Alice..."

"That's it?" Zuri jerked his head forward as if wanting to hear more.

"I-I am begging you, my king..."

"Beautiful."

Halos dumugo na ang labi ko sa sobrang pagpipigil. Walang hiyang hari. He's taking advantage of his authority to fucking manipulate his people like puppets! Kahit kating kati na akong pumasok at hulihin siya sa akto, I painstakingly controlled myself. May tamang panahon para gawin ko ang nararapat kong gawin. Hindi pa ngayon pero darating at darating din ako do'n.

Nakangiting binitawan ni Zuri si Mr. Shawth. Umatras ako para bigyan siya ng daan palabas. I took a last glance at Zuri before I followed Mr. Shawth's footsteps.

Dinala ako nito sa isang karwahe. Unlike other chariots, this one's a bit more advanced. May mga makenaryang hindi ko maintindihan sa gilid nito na sa wari ko'y dumadagdag sa bilis ng byahe.

Naluluhang pumasok ang matanda sa loob na siyang sinunod ko rin. He was crying the whole time as the chariot rode to the iconic Gloysh Inn.

Ilang saglit lang ay huminto na rin kami. Naunang bumaba si Mr. Shawth. Sinalubong kami ng isang babae. I think she's about fifteen or sixteen. Siya siguro si Alice.

"Lolo, what did the king say? Did he like my gift?" excited na tanong nito ngunit nalukot ang mukha niya nang makita ang bracelet na nasa braso ni Mr. Shawth.

"I didn't see the king, apo. May mahalagang pinuntahan ang hari kanina pero hayaan mo, kapag nagkita kami, ibibigay ko 'to sa kaniya." Tinapik niya ang ulo ni Alice. "For the meantime, ako muna ang magsusuot nito. Pwede ba 'yon?"

Alice gave an ear to ear smile. "Of course, lolo!"

Hindi ko namalayang unti-unti na rin pala akong napangiti. I hate to admit that it kinda melts my heart. Hindi man lang alam ni Zuri na ganitong pamilya ang sinisira niya.

Sumunod ako sa kaniya papasok sa loob ng inn. I watched him knotting bracelets with Alice for minutes. Nagsimula na akong mabagot, mabuti na lang at tumayo na rin si Mr. Shawth.

Hinalikan niya muna sa noo si Alice bago nagtungo sa isa pang kwarto. I thought he would enter the steel door in front pero may pinindot siya sa gilid nito. It's actually the same door we entered when I had my mission months ago. I turned around when another door appeared in front of us. Gawa pa rin ito sa bakal but unlike the first door, I think this is run by sensors as it has no door knob.

I must admit, I'm quite surprised by the technology of this place. This place never failed to amaze me like the first time.

Tinapat ni Mr. Shawth ang palad niya sa plain na steel door. Ilang segundo lang ay marahan itong bumukas. I followed him inside. We were greeted by an empty white room.

Napakunot ang noo ko. What is this is?

Mr. Shawth walked towards the switches. Pinatay niya ang ilaw na mas lalong ikinataka ko. But my questions were answered as soon as the room lit up in electric blue. Mula sa pader ay may lumutang na transparent glass boxes na naglalaman ng mga iba't ibang machines. Samantalang sa gitna naman ay nakalutang ang pinakamalaking glass box. There was another machine inside but unlike most of them, this one felt familiar to me.

It's the same machine that Mr. Shawth and Zuri showed me before. It's a rectangular metal slab attached with two human-sized capsules filled with white smoke. 'Yun nga lang ay prototype na gawa sa kahoy lang 'yung pinakita nila sa 'kin noon. And this, this is the exact machine.

But why would Mr. Shawth lie about this? Bakit niya sinabing ang hari lang ang makakagawa ng ganito? Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, the only person who can exert such skill in technology are those who are gifted with technopathy.

Nilapitan ko ang machine but a sudden force sent me backwards. Napangiwi ko nang maramdaman ang kuryenteng bumalot sa katawan ko. Mas lalo akong naalarma nang umalingawngaw sa buong silid ang tunog ng siren.

"Sinong nandiyan?!" sigaw ni Mr. Shawth.

Sakto namang binuksan niya ang pinto kaya mabilis akong nakalabas. I rushed outside. Ramdam ko pa ang kuryente sa katawan ko. Aksidente kong nabangga ang beads ni Alice kaya kumalat ito sa sahig. Pero wala na kong pakialam do'n, kumaripas na ako takbo palabas.

Kaagad kong hinagis ang portal seed sa dulo ng kalye at pumasok doon. It led me to the main door of our cabin. Marahas kong binuksan ang pinto na siyang ikinagulat ni Demi.

"I think I know what happened to Milka."