THE salty breeze of air penetrated my nostrils when I finally got out of the tower. Saka ko lang napansin kung gaano katayog ang palapag na ini-stayhan ko, maging kung gaano karami ang mga toreng nandito sa islang 'to. They really took time to build these towers for criminals.

"Hindi mag-aadjust para sa 'yo ang bangka, prinsesa."

Walang emosyon kong tinignan ang lalaking nasa tabi ko. He's a new guard. I haven't seen my old guard ever since they gave me food. Hindi ako nakatulog hanggang madaling araw kung kailan binulabog nila ang selda ko. I didn't even touch the food, which was a mistake dahil mas lalo akong nanghina.

Nang mapansin niyang hindi ako makagalaw, malakas niyang sinipa ang likod ko. Nasubsob ako sa bangka at tumama ang mukha ko sa sagwan.

I flinched and glared at him. Pinanlisikan ako nito ng mata at muling tinulak.

"Magdasal ka na sa diyos mo, babae," he said before rowing the boat.

Umandar na kami. Nilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid. Walang katapusang karagatan ang nakita ko. Although I can see the city lights ahead of us. Mistula iyong mga bituin na nasa lupa.

Tahimik ang buong byahe. It took us about two hours before reaching the shore at saktong pagbaba namin ay ang pagsilay ng araw.

Hindi na ako nabigla nang kinaladkad na naman ako ng lalaki. Wala nang sapin ang paa ko, but good thing they didn't touch my clothes, nasa akin pa rin ang sling bag sa likod.

Dinala niya ako sa malaking karwahe. Four men were already there. Tila robot itong nakatingin sa akin. I was taken aback when someone covered my face with a white sack again. But unlike the previous one, it's unusually clean. There's a purple mist inside na pilit sumisiksik sa ilong ko.

I held my breath for hell knows how long. Unti-unti na akong nahihilo. The purple mist is a fucking poisonous fume they used to knock me down. Nang mapansin kong unti-unti nang nagdidilim ang paningin ko, palihim kong ginamit ang sarili kong anino para pigilan ang pagpasok ng usok sa ilong ko.

Saglit akong napangiti. It worked. But despite that, I still need to act weak. Hindi nila pwedeng maramdaman ang kapangyarihan ko lalo na't hindi ko alam ang mga kapangyarihan nila.

A lough neigh of the horses cued the chariot's departure. I have no heck of an idea where they're taking me.

After almost an hour, several voices started emerging. Parang mga bubuyog sa paligid. I know this. This familiar sound and atmosphere.

"We're here. Forthmore Central!" the guy beside me exclaimed. Excitement filled his voice.

"Have you recited your last words?" bulong ng isa pang katabi ko.

I remained silent.

Binaba nila ako sa karwahe nang hindi tinatanggal ang sako sa ulo ko. Screams and curses suddenly filled my ears as soon as I stepped on the ground. Pinilit kong huwag itong pansinin, maging ang pambabato nila sa akin ng kung anu-ano.

"Murderer!"

"Nararapat lang sa 'yo ang mamatay!"

"Hindi ka na dapat pinanganak! Anak ka ng demonyo!"

If I can only shut down all my senses, ginawa ko na. Those words reminds me of the last words I heard before I died a decade ago. Hanggang ngayon ba naman, ganito pa rin.

Paulit-ulit akong lumunok upang pigilan ang pangingilid ng luha ko.

Mahina at bobo ka pa rin, Ara. Hindi ka na dapat umiiyak!

The guards led me to an elevated platform. May kung ano silang ginawa sa kamay at paa ko. They made me step on something and tied a rope around my neck before finally taking the sack off my head.

Sumalubong sa akin ang samu't saring hiyawan ng mga tao. Galit na galit ang mga mata ng mga ito na may halong tuwa. Ang iba pa ang tila nagpipyesta sa saya.

Bumababa ang tingin ko sa 'king paa. I am standing on a rectangular prism above an elevated platform, kung saan puno ng tao ang baba nito. Sa gilid ko naman ay ang guard na kumokontrol sa prism na aking tinatayuan. Ngumisi ito na ikina-igting ng panga ko.

"Good day. In accordance to the Decree of Lawful Action against Violation on Mortises and Mages, Section V, murder and homicide committed against your fellow mages and mortises shall be subjected to death, as such, Aurora Belacour of Forthmore Academy who committed murder and killed two innocent lives two weeks ago stands before us in this light of day," pormal niyang wika. Muling naghiyawan ang mga tao. "May we all remember that all lives are precious but a life lived in injustice is foremost doomed in the eyes of the heavens."

Hypocrite. How dare they talk about injustice when they started it themselves.

I roamed my eyes around the Forthmore Central. Nahagip ng mata ko ang mga estudyanteng nagsitakbuhan palapit sa kumpulan ng mga tao. Halos lumubog ang puso ko nang makilala ang mga ito.

The Arcanes. Nanlalaki ang mata nilang nakatitig sa gawi ko, maliban kay Sin, Snow at Jiro na sumabay sa hiyawan. Kumpleto silang lahat. Si Third na napatakip sa bibig, si Rhysan na naluluhang nakatingin sa 'kin, si Estelle na napahawak sa kamay ni Rhysan, si Zale na nakaalalay kay Milka na nakabenda ang ulo, si Genesis at si Carwell na naka-hospital gown.

Mapait akong napangiti. At least he's okay. They're okay. 'Yun lang ang hiling ko bago ko tuluyang baguhin ang takbo ng buhay ko.

After this, I will remain in the shadows. I can never go back to the academy. To the place I found and grew to love. My new found home.

The executioner started the machine. It slowly lifted me up until I couldn't feel the prism beneath my feet anymore. The rope tightened around my neck and I felt my blood run cold in every part of my body. Napapikit ako.

Muli kong narinig ang malakas na hiyawan pero mas nangibabaw rito ang boses ng isang lalaki.

Genesis. He's screaming my name. May sinasabi siya pero natabunan iyon ng hiyawan ng iba. Then another voice followed. It was Carwell. He's arguing with someone.

"Stop them! Kung ayaw sumunod, patayin niyo!"

Napamulat ako sa sigaw na 'yon. The soldier beside me was pointing at Genesis. Two soldiers were restraining him but despite that, he kept on calling my name.

Napunta ang atensyon ng mga tao sa kaniya at kay Carwell na nagsimula nang palibutan ng apoy ang paligid. Sinamantala ko ang pagkakataon na 'yon para tanggalin ang tali sa kamay ko. With all my strength, I pulled myself up. Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang lubid sa itaas para pakawalan ang sarili.

"Fuck!" I cussed when a soldier saw me. Nagpalipat lipat ang tingin niya sa akin at kay Genesis at Carwell na tuluyan nang nagwala. Kalaunan ay mabilis siyang tumakbo sa gawi ko. Pasekreto kong ginamit ang kapangyarihan ko para pigilan ang anino niya.

I took the chance to lift myself in the air. Kinapit ko ang paa ko sa lubid at hinayaan ang sariling nakabitin saka ko iluwagan ang tali sa leeg ko.

The soldier got out from my shadow strings, sanhi para mabitawan ko ulit ang lubid. My neck cracked the moment my body fell hanging mid air again. Paulit-ulit akong napamura sa sakit. I can't seem to breathe due to its pressure. Pakiramdam ko'y ilang segundo na lang, puputok na ang ugat ko sa ulo.

I lifted both of my hands and summoned another shadow string, but before I could wrap them around the soldier's body, someone suddenly cut the rope above me.

Bumulusok ko pababa. I waited for my body to thud on the ground but I ended up on someone's arms instead. Mabilis niya akong tinakbo palayo sa gulo but our way was blocked with another soldiers. Napilitan siyang ibaba ako.

Natigilan ako nang tuluyan ko nang nakita ang lalaki. He's that man — the one who saved me back on Ambergail. The same man who kept spying around the academy.

Pinagmasdan ko siyang labanan ang mga kawal sa paligid namin. Nakasuot pa rin ito ng itim na cloak na tumatakip sa buong mukha niya. But the cloak didn't even hinder him. Walang kahirap hirap niyang pinaslang ang dalawang lalaking akmang sasaksak sa kaniya.

Another troop of soldiers came so I quickly took off the rope on my neck. Kinuha ko ang espada ng kawal na napatay ng lalaking kasama ko. I ran to the remaining soldiers and slashed their legs with full force.

Paminsan minsan ay natutumba ako dala ng pagkahilo, but the stranger was there to pull me back. Naging gano'n ang sitwasyon namin hanggang sa naubos na ang mga kawal.

Somebody from the crowd screamed and pointed at us but he was smacked by a familiar man. 'Yong guard sa selda ko.

"Go! Mauna na kayo. Susunod ako, kuya!"

Naguguluhan kong tinignan ang lalaking naka-cloak. Kuya? He is that guard's brother? Akala ko ba patay na siya?

Otomatiko akong hinila ng lalaki papasok sa masukal na kagubatan. Wala sa sarili akong sumunod sa kaniya. Bawat hakbang namin ay hindi ko mapigilang suriin ang likod niya. Walang kahit anong parte ng kaniyang katawan ang hindi natatakpan. Even his hands. He was wearing a black leather gloves.

I was catching my breath when he finally stopped running. We're at the heart of the forest. Nangangatog ang tuhod ko sa sobrang panghihina.

Binawi ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya.

"Who are you?" I asked. Hindi siya sumagot kaya tinutok ko ang espada ko sa kaniyang leeg. "I said, who are you?"

Ilang segundo siyang hindi gumalaw. I intentionally moved the blade closer to him leaving him with no choice but to oblige.

My sword clanged on the ground when he finally took his mask off. My lips trembled as rapidly as my hands. It's as if all the sound left in the world were my heartbeat and the heavy breaths the guy and I share.

Impossible.

The corner of my eyes heated until tears came falling down my cheek. I didn't bother wiping them. Hinayaan kong manlabo ang paningin ko habang nakatitig sa mga matang sobrang pamilyar sa 'kin — sa lalaking kamukhang kamukha ko.

"P-Paris?" I stuttered. Ilang beses akong napalunok at napayukom ng kamao.

"Ara..." He tried to touch me but I stepped back. "I came as soon as I heard."

Hindi makapaniwala ko siyang tinignan. I want to curse him. I want to punch his face until he remembers what he did. Wala akong pakialam kung niligtas niya ako, because if not for him, my life wouldn't even need saving. He was the one who made me this way in the first place. He made me the demon I am now.

"H-How—"

"This is not the right time to explain, Ara. Please come with me..."

Pinaghalong sakit at galit ang bumalot sa katawan ko. I clenched my fist so tight that I could feel my nails digging in my palm.

Ang kapal kapal ng mukha niya. After all that he did, he expects me to come with him? Mas mabuti pang patayin na lang ako ng tuluyan kaysa bumalik sa kaniya.

Tinabig ko ang kamay niyang akmang hahawak sa 'kin.

"Mamamatay muna ako bago sumama sa 'yo."

"Don't be stubborn, Ara." Nagtagpo ang dalawa niyang kilay. "Kapatid kita. Hindi kita pwedeng pabayaan."

I laughed. Isang tawang akala ko hindi ko kaya. He knows how to joke, huh.

"Wow, I haven't heard that for decades! Geez, I wonder why." Humakbang ako palapit at walang emosyon siyang tinitigan. "Since when did you treat me as your sister? Huwag kang hipokrito, Paris. Wala akong kapatid."

"Ara, pwede ba? This is not the right time to argue. Kahit ngayon lang, makinig ka sa—"

"Ako ba pinakinggan mo noon?"

Napaiwas siya ng tingin.

"Look at me, Paris. Ako ba pinakinggan mo noong nagsusumamo ako sa 'yong iligtas ako kay kamatayan?"

"Ara, I was just a kid. Ano'ng laban ko sa desisyon nila mama at papa?"

"Kahit na!" Hindi ko mapigilang sumigaw. "If it was you, I never would've done the same. I would've risk my life to save yours," dinuro ko siya, "duwag ka, Paris. Isa kang malaking duwag."

"Ara..."

"Nabuhay ako nang wala ka at mabubuhay ako kahit nandito ka man o wala." Marahas kong pinunasan ang luha ko at pinulot ang espada. "Just in case you don't know, twin. I am not that naive girl you left to die anymore."

Nagmartsa ako paalis pero muli siyang nagsalita na ikinatigil ko.

"Do you know what happened to mom and dad after you were exiled?"

Nanatili akong nakatalikod sa kaniya. It's hard to admit that my ears are eager to hear more. At the same time, I'm scared of the truth. It scares me to know that maybe it didn't matter to them.

"Dad almost lost his mind. He killed our already depressed mother, and he tried to kill himself."

My grip on the sword tightened. Muling bumuhos ang luha sa mga mata ko.

"They lost themselves the day we lost you. I had to live for years knowing that I was never enough of a son for them because they wanted you. Buhay pa ako pero hindi nila ako inisip." He faked a laugh. Ramdam ko ang bigat sa boses niya. "I hated you, Ara. I wanted you gone. I wanted you to be out of my way. But deep down, I feel responsible for your death. You are my twin. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit. Magkamukha naman tayo but everytime they had to choose between the two of us, it's always you, and I'm always under your shadow."

His voice cracked before sobs escaped his lips. Huminga ko ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili pero hindi pa rin maawat ang nag-uunahan kong luha. I can barely breathe. Parang may bumabara sa lalamunan ko and no matter how hard I swallow, it just won't go — like the pain I tried so hard to forget but is creeping its way back now.

"But somebody saved me. Siya pa na hindi ko kadugo ang tumulong sa 'kin para pantayan ka. But when I learned about you, I can't afford to let you die, Ara. Nagkulang na ako noon, hayaan mo naman akong bumawi."

This time, I turned around to look at him. Puno ng luha ang mga mata niya — ang tanging bagay na naiiba sa aming dalawa maliban sa kasarian.

"Ara, can't we be family again?" Sincerity was vivid in his eyes. He forwarded his hand and reached for me.

Tinitigan ko ang kamay niyang naghihintay sa 'kin. For a moment, I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to lean on him and tell him the pain I had to get through.  Yet everything went back on me. Every detail of what happened that day. How I begged for mercy. How they turned their back on me as if I am nothing but dirt they had to get rid of.

Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang kalimutan na lang ang lahat ng 'yon. Hindi ko kayang magtiwala ulit.

"I'll give you the credit of enlightening me with our forgotten past, but I hope we never see each other again in the future, Paris."

Tumalikod na ako sa kaniya at naglakad paalis. This time, hindi na niya ako pinigilan.

Malungkot akong napangiti. Tila pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa bigat nito. Gustong gusto kong magpatawad pero hindi ko alam kung paano. I don't even know if I'm capable of that. No one taught me how to forgive, and I don't know if I have the heart to do so.

I looked back at him one last time. He's trying to pull himself together. Muling tumulo ang luha ko.

You are 12 years too late, Paris. If you only came sooner, maybe, just maybe, we could've become family again.