Bonus Chapter ~ Off-guard

[This bonus chapter is exclusive to Ream -- the below is a sample only]

Although a lot had changed over the last year, one thing definitely hadn't: Brent keeping his cards remarkably close to his chest. So close, in fact, that he could have passed for a poker player rather than a lifeguard.

We'd flirted a little during our time apart, and he'd arranged this date, so that suggested we were on the same page at least, but I still couldn't read him. Maybe because I was the one who'd been so forward with our text conversations and he'd merely humoured me, or maybe because he'd invited me round to his house after our dinner with Mia and Austin but then hadn't even attempted to kiss me. Was this date a formality? Did he feel like he owed it to himself—or to me—to see if there was anything left between us?

And then the date itself: dress comfortably and casually because there'll be a lot of walking. That had been his instruction. Comfortable. Casual. Walking. Didn't sound particularly sexy to me. And, let's face it, we had bypassed the romantic stage of our fling last summer; sexy was all we knew.

It was for that reason that I plucked up the courage to slip on my sexiest lingerie underneath my 'casual' clothes. Even if this date didn't end with us in bed, I'd feel more confident knowing I was wearing it. And if it did, I'd at least be prepared.

After spending a few days with Mia, I'd returned to my Airbnb further down the coast first thing this morning. It was a small but perfectly proportioned house right on the beach, with a veranda that swept around the outside, offering a panoramic view of the sea and sand.

The holiday home last summer had been spectacular, but this one was mine. My money, my house, mine. It was a single storey and had everything I needed to live alone without feeling like I was drowning in space. But hopefully I wouldn't be totally alone for the whole summer...

Brent picked me up at nine thirty on the dot, just like he'd promised. Apart from a quick sweep of my body from head to toe—no doubt assessing if I'd followed his instructions or not—he gave no indication of wanting anything more from me than friendly company on a fun day out.

I, on the other hand, could have quite easily pulled him into my cute little house, taken off his wine-coloured polo shirt, and had an equally fun time discovering whether or not my mind had embellished the memories of his body.

"We're driving?" I asked as we reached a car that unlocked upon our approach.

"Yeah. It's about an hour away. That okay?"

"Of course."

As I slipped into the passenger seat and Brent shoved the key into the ignition, a wave of air conditioning filtered through the front vents. I reached to reposition the slats, and my eyes fell on a pair of sunglasses sitting in the cup holder.

"You've still got them." I smiled as I picked up the Ray-Bans, a flurry of memories stirring.

"Told you I'd look after them, didn't I?"

He shifted the car into drive, peered over his shoulder, then pulled out onto the road.

"They're a bit scratched." I tossed him a cheeky grin.

Although he kept his eyes ahead, his lips twitched. "Well-loved. Not scratched."

"Hm. Maybe I should buy you a new pair."

"Absolutely not."

"There's no need to feel emasculated. I'm a poor student now."

He snorted, his eyes drifting over me as he slowed to approach a junction. "I wouldn't feel emasculated. I just like that pair and I don't want to replace them."

Despite the air con, a cosy warmth spread through my body. When I'd first given him those glasses, he'd resented me for it. And now he didn't want to let them go. Even if he didn't fancy me anymore, I could still consider that a small victory.

*

Roughly an hour later, we pulled into an empty car park. The journey hadn't been awkward, but then Brent had never been one to succumb to awkwardness. He answered my questions about life over the last year, and he fired some curiosities of his own back at me.

Just like I'd noticed yesterday, he carried an air of confidence and ease about him, like his new job had brought him out of his shell. It was heart-warming to see. And attractive as hell. But also a little unnerving. We'd both changed so much. Even though that had been the reason we'd pressed pause last year—we'd needed the time apart to focus on ourselves—I couldn't help worrying that this date might end with us discovering we no longer clicked.

I still fancied him, but who wouldn't? He perfectly fit the 'tall, dark and handsome' criteria that so many people liked, plus he had an insane body and an intriguing air of mystery around him. I'd chipped away at that mystery last summer, but nine months had passed since then. He had new layers to him now, and so did I.

"So how long's the walk?" I asked.

Brent pulled a rucksack from the boot and looped the straps over his shoulders.

"Few hours with some stops." He blipped the car and the indicators flashed once.

"Few hours including those stops or on top of those stops?"

"Depends how fast you walk." But his eyes twinkled as his large palm landed on the small of my back to guide me towards a path off to the side.

Even in the humid, July heat, the tips of Brent's fingers burned through the light fabric of my t-shirt, firing scorching sparks across the surface of my skin. When he fell into step beside me, though, his hand dropped from my body.

"I'm surprised you chose a walk for a first date," I said.

So maybe I was testing the waters a little by reminding him we were on a date. He'd arranged it after all—even before I'd agreed to join him. That took some balls, and yet he'd not made a single move on me.

His drawn-out silence didn't comfort me, either. Perhaps he'd had second thoughts after seeing me last night, but by that point it had been too late to back out.

"You're surprised?" he eventually said.

"Yeah. It's a bold choice. Hours together, middle of nowhere, no liquid courage..."

"Maybe I have a bottle of wine in the backpack, just in case things get desperate."

He was clearly joking, but I didn't let him get away with brushing it under the carpet that easily.

"Desperate?"

"Yeah. But it's a last resort. I wouldn't want you to get side-tracked. I know what wine does to you."

My cheeks flamed, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing it, instead turning away to admire the view to my left. Miles upon miles of open greenery, hills, and blue skies. Different to the flat landscape of the beach. I still preferred the view to my right, though.

"Joking." He nudged my arm with his elbow when I didn't reply. "I picked a walk because you mentioned you'd been doing a lot of hiking. I don't know if that's still the case, but it inspired me and reminded me of this place. I used to come here with my parents. And my brother. Years ago. Obviously."

He cleared his throat, his long fingers curling around the rucksack straps. I looked straight ahead, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by staring at him as I unpacked that goldmine of insight in my head.

In just a few sentences, he'd melted my heart. Not just with his touching confession that this date had been inspired by a throwaway comment I'd made months ago, but also by voluntarily mentioning his family when I knew how difficult he found that.

"Sorry if I sounded critical," I said. "It's a perfect date. I just don't think many people would be brave enough to go for it. But you've always pleasantly surprised me with your courage."

His eyes briefly darted down to mine, and he smiled. "Maybe we won't need the wine after all, then."

*

At midday, the sun sat high in the blue skies, its blistering rays relentless. With no coastal breeze to counteract the heat, I began to flag.

"You wearing cream?" Brent asked.

"Yes. All good."

Having underestimated the North Carolinian sun once before, I'd learnt my lesson. Brent had come to my rescue on that occasion, and as much as I would love an excuse to have his hands all over my back again, I'd not made the same mistake this time round.

"Just a little further, then we'll stop for a break," he said.

I assumed that 'just a little further' would reveal some shade, but what actually appeared around the corner stunned me. The hills to my left became steeper, the grass wearing away to expose rock, and the distinct rumble of crashing water echoed off the cliffs.

Brent directed me down a sharp decline, and as we reached the end of the path, a beautiful waterfall emerged in front of us, streams of water cascading over the edge of the hilltop, kicking up a cloud of white spray as they hit the turquoise pool beneath.

"Wow," I breathed. "So beautiful."

"I came here a few weeks ago, just to check it was still as impressive as I remembered. Sometimes things seem bigger as a kid."

I smiled at his confession, touched by how much effort he'd put into this date. Although he'd still not looked at me like he wanted to tear my clothes off, I drew some comfort from the knowledge that he'd tried to make this special for both of us.

"Want to go down?" he then asked.

My heart jumped. "Can we?"

"Sure. Just be careful. It's a bit loose under foot." And he held out his arm for me to grip onto as we navigated the final descent down to the pool.

With my hand wrapped around his bicep, I tried to concentrate on where I was putting my feet rather than how huge his muscles felt beneath my fingers, but touching him incited flutters of excitement deep within my stomach.

He always managed to surprise me. My attraction towards him hadn't faded over the year, but layering on emotions and sensitivity made me crave him even more.

"Wish I'd worn a swimsuit now," I said once we reached the bottom. The tall cliff engulfed the pool of water in shade. "I could do with a dip in..."

My words trailed off as Brent tore his shirt over his head, dropping it onto a cluster of rocks to the side. Light bounced off the ridges of his rippling stomach muscles, illuminating the smooth, bronzed skin. Nope. My memory had not deceived me. The man was somehow even more beautiful than I remembered.

"You don't need a swimsuit," he said. "It's not that deep."

I laughed nervously as I anticipated his reaction to finding out that I hadn't followed his 'casual' brief exactly. "I'm wearing Stella McCartney. There's no way I'm getting it wet, no matter how tempting."

Brent huffed out a sigh and folded his arms, and my eyes immediately drifted down to his broad shoulders. 

"I thought I said to dress casually."

"I am dressed casually. Something can be casual and expensive, you know."

"If you want to swim but don't want to get it wet, take it off."

"And swim in my underwear?" I cocked a brow in disbelief, daring him to encourage it.

He shrugged. "Rosalie, I've seen you in a bikini more times than I've seen you in clothes. There's no need to be shy."

Then he turned his back on me and waded into the pool. Great. So he wasn't at all bothered by the thought of me taking my clothes off. My teeth gritted together with envy as he stepped into the shade and the splashing mist floated over his body.

Despite wearing this underwear as a confidence boost, I suddenly felt shy. This wasn't how I'd expected him to see it: outside, in broad daylight, having barely touched me all day.

But as I stood there dithering, something else occurred to me. Yes, he'd seen me in a bikini plenty of times, but none of my bikinis had looked like this. If I followed him into the pool wearing nothing but a few scraps of sheer black mesh, it would catch him off-guard. And if it didn't, then at least I'd have my answer about whether he still found me attractive.

He faced away from me, and my gaze raked hungrily over his statuesque back. Screw it: I needed my answer.

I shimmied my shorts over my legs and tugged off my top. After lying them neatly next to Brent's shirt, I dipped a toe into the water. Wincing as the piercing iciness shot up my calf, I forced the rest of my foot to follow. If Brent turned around to catch me wimping out, it would ruin the sexy vibe somewhat. So I braved it, trying to focus on the heat of the sun on my shoulders as I edged my way into the freezing pool.

The ground levelled out when I neared the waterfall, the water reaching my waist. It concealed the lower half of me, but the lingerie was designed to show off the upper body the most, with a deep plunge leading to a few narrow bands of mesh that wrapped around my stomach. 

As I strode closer to Brent, I understood why he hadn't turned: the crashing water drowned out the surrounding noise. Yet he still heard my yelp when a splash bounced off the surface to hit me square in the face.

He spun around, and his lips parted as he spotted me. Fists clenching at his sides, his eyes drew a scorching path down my chest, along the strips of mesh, and then back up to my cleavage. Goose bumps erupted across every inch of skin that his intense gaze touched, and my heartbeat thudded against my ribcage as self-conscious heat flooded my cheeks. Instinct begged me to hide, but as his pupils darkened with lust, my toes curled against the smooth pebbles beneath my feet to ground me there.

Another splash of water licked my face, and I pinched my eyes shut, tilting my head away. Not sexy at all. I startled when Brent's hand landed on my shoulder, his fingers cool and damp against the warm skin that hadn't yet met the chilly water.

"Turn around." His voice was low, husky, as he squeezed my shoulder to turn me away from him. "So it doesn't batter your face," he added.

So you can check me out from the back, too, no doubt.

But facing away from him, no longer pinned by his heavy scrutiny, I relaxed slightly. Tension drained out of my neck and a withheld gulp of air escaped from my lungs.

"Don't be shy." His humid breath caressed my ear. "You look incredible."

Like a magnet attracted to metal, I leaned back into him. The sculpted planes of his solid chest, cool and wet from the waterfall, brushed my dry shoulder blades. His fingertips coasted down my arm, a feather-light touch that elicited a telling shiver from me.

As his hand dipped below the surface of the pool and skimmed over my hip, I arched even closer to him, now immune to the cold water as every pore alighted with fire.

"Did you wear this for me?" His thumb toyed with one of the mesh bands, easing it away from my stomach. When he let go, it snapped back against my skin and a breathy gasp spilled past my lips.

"Well I'm not wearing it for comfort..."

Fingers splaying across my abdomen, he drew me flush against his front, the strain of his erection hard and thick as it dug into the small of my back. Tingles flared between my thighs, a sudden aching emptiness begging to be filled.

"Even though I told you to dress comfortably?" His words, though low, carried an amused lilt.

"You should know by now that I don't always do as I'm told."

The deep chuckle reverberated from his chest, and his fingers floated lower down my stomach until they teased the waistband of my thong.

"I also know just how quickly you try to seduce me."

My mouth dropped open in indignation. Was I angry at his audacious words or at myself for being so transparent? Sex had accompanied every thought I'd had about seeing Brent again, whereas he'd taken the time and effort to plan a thoughtful date. What did that say about me?

For that reason, I stepped out of his hold and turned to face him.

"Actually," I said, folding my arms and then immediately unfolding them to place my hands on my hips when I noticed Brent's eyes drifting down to my cleavage again, "I didn't wear it for comfort—I wore it for confidence. Sorry to burst your bubble."

His lips twitched. "Confidence for what?"

Heat warmed my cheeks at his insinuation. "Did you bring me to the middle of nowhere so I couldn't ditch you if you pissed me off?"

Laughing, Brent rolled his eyes. It was the most emotion he'd expressed all day. I'd broken the ice, but it had backfired on me. With a huff, I started to wade back to the bank, stopping when he reached out to catch my wrist.

"Rosalie." A resigned sigh tumbled from his mouth. "I'm sorry. My flirting game is off. You make me nervous. I thought I was going to be the one unable to keep my hands to myself. You caught me off-guard."

The embarrassment evolved into endearment, his vulnerable confession explaining so much and reassuring so many of my fears. Before I could reply, though, he powered on.

"You're so much better at the emotional side of things. I struggle to open up. That's the real reason I brought you out here, to the middle of nowhere: so we'd be forced to talk and communicate and get to know each other again. But I also wanted a connection to my family, so I could share something with you that I'd previously only shared with them."

Well now I felt like an idiot. An idiot who'd proved his point about my tendency to rush into sex with him. And supposedly I was the one who was better at the emotional side of things?

I gestured down at the lingerie. "I was only half-lying. I am wearing it for confidence—you're not the only one who was nervous. But I was obviously hoping you'd see it at some point. Just not so early into our date. So I'm sorry if I've made it look like I'm only interested in sex when you've put so much thought into it. I promise that's not the case."

He tugged me closer, his hand leaving my wrist to skate down my back. "Don't apologise. I was the one who naively suggested you take your clothes off to come for a swim." The tips of his fingers slid over the back of my thong, teasingly close to dipping between my legs. "And apart from that one time you were blind drunk, which doesn't really count, it's always been me who made the first move. So you don't need to worry about a thing."

Tilting my head to the side, I mulled that over, rewinding last summer's highlights: Brent turning up in London, Brent inviting me back to his place, Brent kissing me in the bar, Brent flirting with me at my birthday, Brent pinning me against the sand dune...

Had I been so insecure over Alastair's lack of interest in me that I hadn't even noticed the pattern? Or had I been so consumed with my attraction towards Brent that I'd assumed everything was even between us?

"I hadn't noticed," I admitted with a shy smile. "I guess, in my head, I was just as keen."

His tongue swept across his bottom lip as he peered down at me. "So we're on the same page?"

I nodded. "Seems like it. Communication's amazing, right?"

Laughing, he stepped back towards the cascading water, running a tanned hand through his damp hair. "So, you coming underneath?"

***

The remainder of the chapter (a further 7K words) is available on Ream as part of my Beach Holiday tier. Ream is a subscription platform, designed for reading, where you can access exclusive content for a monthly cost. There's no minimum term so you can cancel at any point. My username on there is the same as here: tessalovatt

Content warnings: there will be strong sexual content and discussions around grief in the full bonus chapter.