the final chapter

-ˋˏ ༻✧༺ ˎˊ-

You opened your eyes to find your feet nudging against what seemed to be the figure of a man on the end of the couch. You flinched and gathered your legs up to your chest—a knee jerk reaction considering what had happened the other night.

He turned towards you. "Whoa Y/n, what's with the vigilance? It's me."

You clutched onto the blanket for dear life as your body shook.

"Oh... Rick." You muttered, and settled down. The man sat with his coffee in hand by a candle light, scribbling away at some documents.

"What're you doing? I never see you working." You asked, sitting up and slightly hovering your head over the table. Rick covered the papers with his hand.

"It's confidential." He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, sure. Where's your wife?"

"Sleeping, I'm assuming she's already gotten enough of you."

"Funny." You rubbed your eyes and walked off to the kitchen for some water.

"I'm not even going to asked what this is about." He said, keeping his focus on his work.

You paused with your hand in the cupboard. "Huh?"

"You being here."

"She didn't tell you?" Half confusion and half excitement in your voice. You assumed that Mrs. Lacey would've indulged her husband in all of your life's gory details, it was a fact you were dreading.

Hmh, maybe I can live here after all.

"Nope, I just walked in a few hours ago to you sleeping on the couch. All she said was that you'll be staying for a while. That's it."

"She can keep her mouth shut about something." You murmured, low enough so that Rick couldn't hear. But to your surprise, he actually did.

"Amen." He chirped.

There was a knock at the door, a rather heavy knock that nearly made you jump out of your skin. Rick stood up from the couch and knitted his brows together into a straight line. He looked at you then back at the door. "What the fuck?"

You shrugged. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No." He said firmly and followed the noise to the apartment door. He leaned against its wood and put his ear up close in an attempt to discern the muffled conversation that sat just beyond the threshold.

It was ten o'clock at night, the shop was closed, not to mention the fact that in order to even reach the apartment door, you'd have to go through the already locked shop to begin with.

How did they get in?

The door pounded once more and Rick looked through the peephole. His breath shuttered when he saw who it was.

"Y/n, get out of here for a second." He ordered, shooing you away with his hand.

"What?"

"Just listen to me."

You backed off into the hallway that divided the bedrooms and leaned against the wall, standing close enough so that you could hear the impending interaction.

The front door opened and you heard the sound of about two grown men.

"Good evening, how can I help you... officers?" Rick said, obvious confusion in his tone.

"We're looking for a woman by the name of Y/n L/n. Her house was found burnt to the ground. Not only that, but there appeared to be the perished corpses of Paradis soldiers scattered around her property. Y/n's body was not found. You are Rick Lacey, correct?"

"Yes."

"Your records show that this woman did in fact live under your roof ten years ago. We are under the assumption that she may have fled to this residence after the fire."

Rick hesitated on how to answer. "She's not here."

"We just need to talk with her and ask a few questions."

"I said, she's not here."

The other officer broke his silence. "Listen, if those scum attacked her and she fought back, she'll be hailed a hero. If she has nothing to hide then this should be simple."

"Have a good night officers." Rick sighed, attempting to shut the door when one of the MPs put his hand against the door with a thud.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be."

You gulped from behind the wall.

"Do you have a warrant? You asked me if Y/n was here and I said no. We don't have anything else to talk about."

"If she's not here, then where do you think she might've gone?"

"I don't know. Maybe she went for the next district. I haven't seen her."

The MPs looked Rick up and down before nodding and turning away. "We appreciate your honesty... Rick Lacey." One of them said, and Rick closed the apartment door, nervously fiddling with the chain lock before it shut.

You popped out from the hallway and Rick clicked his tongue. "For god's sake Y/n I told you to go away."

"I was in the hallway, isn't that far enough?"

"No, I meant into a bedroom or something."

"Too late." You shrugged.

Rick rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I'm afraid to even ask you what the hell is going on. Why the fuck MPs are after you... You're already giving me a headache Y/n and you just got here."

"Heh... like old times?" You laughed nervously.

Rick scoffed. "Just like old times. Go to bed, you're gonna talk to me about this in the morning."

You went off into one of the empty rooms, particularly the one that you used to stay in when you'd lived here. Your back hit the mattress and you'd almost forgotten how good it felt to sleep on an actual bed. You rolled over and flicked off the lamp light as your thoughts clouded the dark room instead.

Would I be putting the Lacey's in danger?

Would staying here... actually be the selfish thing?

You were already starting to imagine the worst case scenario. At this point, it felt like you were lost in a fog with no compass. What really was the right thing to do? You were so sure that staying was best but now, you truly had no idea.

The problem was the fact that you weren't choosing what you wanted, you were choosing what you thought was best for everyone else but yourself. Your indecisiveness was a result of this silly need to people please.

What is it that I want? You finally asked yourself.

The answer came clear. You'd been the compass the entire time.

I want to be with him.

-ˋˏ ༻✧༺ ˎˊ-

"Y/n, sweetheart... Can I come in?"

You woke up to the sound of Mrs. Lacey knocking on the bedroom door and for a second you felt fourteen again—spazzing with the realization that you were late for school.

"Are you awake?" She said through the door.

You sat up and blinked away the mists of sleep. "Mhm, yeah I'm awake you can come in."

She opened the door with a breakfast tray in hand and you smiled at her fondly. "Oh you didn't have to."

"Yes I did. You've been sleeping all day, I can tell you need to get your strength up."

"Thank you."

She brought the tray into your lap as the tea sizzled into the air along with steamy eggs and bacon. Honestly, just looking at the meal made you salivate.

"What time is it?" You asked, shoving a spoonful of scrambled eggs into your mouth. Mrs. Lacey sat beside you on the edge of the bed.

"It's four o'clock."

Only a few hours before sundown...

"I've been sleeping for that long?"

"It surprised me too." She sighed. "Although I remember you always used to sleep like a rock, especially on school mornings. It was a battle just trying to get you out of bed."

"Yeah, academia really wasn't my thing."

"It wasn't mine either as a kid." She replied, stealing a piece of bacon from your plate.

"I know."

"Excuse me? Are you trying to call me illiterate?"

"Well you don't exactly have the cleanest vocabulary."

She lightly pushed your shoulder. "You're a real bitch."

"See."

The two of you chuckled, but the moment fizzled out as soon as you looked out the window and noticed that the sun was starting to reach its peak.

Just a few more hours... and he'll be gone for good.

The sun knew all your secrets, it was like the star itself was taunting you. You knew that after five pm it would pick up the pace, and begin to descend—bringing all of your hopes and worries with it.

If I just let the sun fall... my mind will clear. I won't have to decide anything... it'll all be over.

Mrs. Lacey got up from the bed and held her tongue on the very topic she'd been dying to bring up again. She looked back at you from the door frame and sighed.

"Sundown will creep up on you faster than you think." She said and shut the door.

You felt the hunger begin to slip away from you as your mind was plagued with dread. With each passing second, you'd come closer and closer to that final choice.

Maybe you could abandon all responsibility and let the sun make your decision. Once it set... your mind would be free.

Three hours before dusk...

"Ow, for fucks sake." You muttered following an unforgiving head butt beneath the kitchen table.

A job well done was an understatement, to you at least. The kitchen smelt fresh with vanilla and lemon as daylight gleamed over the tiles.

I should probably clean the living room as well.

You tightened your ponytail and lugged the mop and bucket over to the sitting area.

I should sweep first then wash.

Maybe I should do the bedrooms next.

And then I'll-

You went on and on creating a laundry list of tasks to keep yourself busy till dusk. If you occupied yourself, then maybe certain thoughts would disappear for the time being

One hour before dusk...

You collapsed onto your bed with arms spread out as if awaiting an invisible embrace. Sweat glimmered at your temples. You even felt the fabric of your clothes begin to cling to your skin.

At the very least, the house looked ready for guests or a dinner party at that. You took a sniff of your dress and made a face like you were about to spit.

Ew, I guess the last thing I need to clean is myself.

You headed off to the tub and drew yourself a warm bath. The hot water felt heavenly on your joints after a long day of crouching under tables and stretching to dust tight spaces. Not to mention your aching gunshot wound.

You craned your neck back and let out a sigh when you felt your muscles finally relaxing.

I haven't taken a bath this nice since...

You froze for a moment.

Levi.

And you drifted off into that very memory.

"Is it something you want one day?"

"To be honest, yes. But with everyone in town telling me to get married, it makes me not want to do it. I know that sounds pretty childish."

"No I get it. I don't like being told what to do either. You should just tell those people in town to fuck off."

"Oh I-... I don't think I can do that."

"Yeah you can, all you do is say 'hey, all of you can go fuck yourselves. Leave me alone'. Easy."

"You're funny Levi."

"I'm serious."

"Oh I know."

"You just gotta stand up for yourself... use your words sweetheart. Say what you want."

Say what you want... Quite ironic that this particular sentence from him was coming back to your attention.

Maybe it was what you needed.

Levi... How do I say what I want? What I really, really want. What if it's selfish? What if it's wrong?

You looked up at the ceiling as a substitute for closing your eyes. You knew that once your lids shut, you'd be flooded with images of his face.

It was nearly satirical how a man of few words somehow managed to impact you with what very few he actually spoke.

His voice, coupled with those eyes and those lips... absolutely amplified his dialogue in every sense. You thought about how lovely it would feel right now to lean your back against his chest again and talk about whatever random topics that crossed your mind. No matter how trivial the subject, talking with Levi made it interesting.

But you could only dream, sunset was on its way and you were too stagnant in the bath to even do anything about it.

I never even got to know your last name.

That thought alone made you chuckle. You were spending your time reminiscing over a man who's most basic attributes would remain a mystery.

Although, you did know all about his idiosyncrasies. His obsessive need for cleanliness, his love for a challenge, the rush he'd get from watching you beneath him, the power high that so eagerly surged through his brain. Was it the control?A break from his unpredictable life?

Now you were literally psychoanalyzing the poor man. Perhaps you were trying your best to understand him with what little puzzle pieces you had left.

I don't even know his birthday, or his mother's name.

I know nothing about him.

Why am I so fixated?

Maybe it was the mystery around him that made you wonder. Everything about him was so contradictory. Why would a Paradis soldier kill his own comrades just to protect some stranger from Marley? Why would a seemingly cold man cry into your touch? Why would he fuck you like a prostitute in one breath then kiss you softly in the next? Why would he dirty himself with you? Why did he act so apathetic at the factory, only to grab your face a few minutes later and tell you to leave with him?

Who are you... Levi?

What even am I to you?

A whore?

A friend?

An enemy?

A lover?

Nothing at all?

"Hey stop hogging the bath and hurry up in there!" Mrs. Lacey hollered from behind the door. Her voice was the anchor that pulled you out of such deep thoughts.

"Yeah! Just give me five minutes!" You said back.

"I'm coming in!"

You clutched the curtain. "Can you wait I'm naked!"

"I used to change your diapers." She scoffed, entering the bathroom and rummaging through the sink cabinets.

You poked your head out. "Jeez what're you looking for?"

"A dish sponge. I know I kept some in here. Someone ripped the one in the kitchen."

"Oh... Hah, yeah that was me when I was cleaning earlier. Sorry about that."

"You're buying me a new one if I can't find any in this damn cabinet."

"Yes ma'am." You said sarcastically.

"How the hell do you even rip a sponge? What were you scrubbing? Sand paper?"

"No, dishes. I kind of zoned out for a moment there and didn't realize I was tearing the sponge."

She raised an eyebrow. "Were you thinking about that man again?"

"No." You retorted.

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious! I was just tired, dozing off. That's all."

"Whatever you say." She pulled her hand out of the cabinet with a look of elation. "Yes! You just got lucky, I found one."

"All is right in the world."

"In my world maybe. But not yours."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"You know it's seven pm, one more hour before-."

"I know."

She nearly flinched from your sudden interruption.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off like that I just... I don't want to think about it."

Mrs. Lacey plopped down beside the tub, the thin shower curtain served as a makeshift divider between you two.

"It's still your choice. What do you want to do?" She asked.

I want to leave with him.

"I don't know." You lied.

"Yes you do."

"Is Rick home? He said he wanted to talk to me this morning."

"No he's not, and stop trying to change the subject." She said, lightly slapping the curtain.

"There isn't anything else to talk about."

"So you've made your decision? I thought you said you." She made air quotes. "Didn't know?"

"Did he tell you what happened last night?" You asked, once again dodging her question.

"He told me today, but that's not important."

You swung open the curtain. "Yes it is, MPs are after my ass and if I stay here it'll incriminate all of you as well."

"Y/n, if you leave... It better not be because of us. You better make that decision for yourself. I'll lock you in this goddamn bathroom if you think for a second that I'll let you make such a huge choice based off of our needs." There was a slight change in her tone, it was a shift that rarely ever came out of Mrs. Lacey. A strange mixture of anger and melancholy.

"I'll ask you this one more time... What is it that you want to do?"

You stared at her deeply, hoping that she would somehow read your mind and know exactly what is was that you desired—because saying it out loud made it all feel too real. There was no turning back, once you finally admitted it.

"I want to be with him." You muttered, but you didn't stop there.

"I want to be near him, I want to kiss him again. I want to hear his voice, his laugh, I want to be the reason he smiles. I want to be with him and... fall in love." Tears began forming in your eyes and Mrs. Lacey reached over the tub to give you the tightest embrace she's ever given you.

"Then you know what you have to do." She whispered.

"I know..." You grabbed onto her even tighter and clutched a fistful of her shirt in your hand. This was something you'd been doing since you were a kid. Whenever you felt scared or nervous, you'd clutch onto the fringe of your mother's shirt. That action slowly made its way into hugs.

"Sweetheart you're gonna rip my shirt." She giggled.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, another thing about you that hasn't changed."

Mrs. Lacey pulled away and looked you in the eyes. "I love you Y/n. You're like the daughter I never had. Even though you drive me crazy you're one of the most precious people in the world to me. I just want you to be happy. It's all I want for both you, my sons, and your brothers. You kids deserve a break from this shitty world."

"Are you sure it's okay for me to leave you?" You asked.

Mrs. Lacey rolled her eyes. "Don't say that again, okay? I'll be fine, you need to start worrying about yourself." She took a deep breath and continued.

"Life is grim, and just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you have to constantly make sacrifices for your own happiness and carry everyone's needs on your back. If you live like that, you'll go insane."

She tapped your cheek. "The only person who could manage all that weight would be a prophet and you sure as hell ain't one."

That last part made you giggle.

"Thank you... For everything you've done for me." You said.

"Always Y/n... Always. Whenever you need somewhere to come back to, my home is open. You are not alone."

You widened your eyes... that was the one thing that your heart had been secretly longing to hear.

I'm not alone.

It was the wings you needed to finally take flight into the height of your life. A new stage, and a new era. One filled with risk, mistakes, and maybe even the chance of love.

"You don't have much time left." She said seriously

"There's one thing I need to do first."

"Which is?"

You unclogged the drain and grabbed your towel, rushing out of the bath soaking wet—a trail of water followed you to your room.

Mrs. Lacey raised her brows and muttered, "Well I certainly wasn't expecting that."

You glanced at the sun through the blinds, it held a harsh peach tone in the twilight. You rummaged through your old closet only to find small pieces of clothing that could fit the body of a much younger girl.

Fuck... I don't have anything wear. You thought, standing there with the towel around you. All you had was that tattered dress and top that you'd been wearing since the factory. It was unappealing, but if you had to wear that outfit again, you would.

Thats when Mrs. Lacey emerged in the doorframe with a clean dress in hand. "It's the only thing I've got small enough to fit you, I never wear it so consider it new." She said, tossing you the casual gown.

"Thanks."

You didn't even take the time to analyze it before plucking off your towel and switching into the clean clothes. A pair of underwear and socks dropped from the dress amongst your hurried movements.

"I know they're not anything sexy but just put them on, I've barely worn those either." She heckled from down the hall. You smirked at the underwear on the floor. Never in a million years did you think you'd be wearing Mrs. Lacey's panties but then again, you never thought you'd run off with a thirty-six year old man to a foreign country.

You slipped into the garments and shifted a little in the dress. It was slightly big on you but better than nothing. Your wet hair dampened the fabric around your back but you didn't care... There was still one thing you had to do.

Write a letter.

You rushed into Rick's study and sifted through his drawers until you found a piece of lined paper. You sat in his chair, snatching a silver ink pen

Play, -ˋˏ ༻ I Want To Be With You ༺ ˎˊ- by Sadness. I was actually listening to it while writing this specific part ♡

Dear Matthew and Thomas, I will be going somewhere far away.

Mrs. Lacey's voice echoed in the wind but you were already too far down the street to respond. The harbor was about a half mile away. Maybe more, but honestly, you didn't care how far...

To restart my life.

You knew that if you walked any faster, then that wound of yours would surely tear open, but any slower and the sun would set. The crutch stiffened you as well.

I am not sure if I am doing what's right.

You ditched the flimsy wood and decided to make your treck on both feet. You let out a hiss when you felt that rise of pain again.

You froze, and held your stomach.

I know that I will be abandoning my responsibility to you. To our home.

The sun burned blood red, your wound would no doubt do the same any time soon. A few passersby bumped you while you stood in the middle of the sidewalk—much to their irritation.

And I will carry that burden forever.

One woman quickly tugged her young daughter out of your direction, "She must be ill, just go around her."

You looked up at sky, hoping to reignite your vigor. If you stopped now, it was all over.

Although.

Slowly, one foot jived in front of the other.

I think I may have found someone to carry it with me.

You couldn't give up now, as long as your heart beat, so did your resolve. You maneuvered through the pain, locking your eyes forward to anticipate your path.

The thing is, I've always forced myself to do the right thing out of fear that the weight of the wrong thing would haunt me forever.

Cambridge Street was just up ahead—a long road that stretched all the way down to east harbor.

I was isolated.

Your breaths grew tighter as you could feel your stamina gradually draining, like a candle running on a fading flame.

But when you finally find people who are willing to bear your troubles on their backs, the weight seems a little more manageable.

The sun tucked itself behind the brick buildings as if teasing your lack of endurance in this moment. You took a deep inhale and started to run, accepting the challenge.

I'm not afraid of making mistakes anymore.

Cambridge Street was dead ahead on your right. As soon as you made the turn, you could smell the salty air, even taste it.

Part of me has always been this way, even though it took some realizing.

Boats disappeared into the mist and you hoped to god that each passing one didn't hold a black haired-blue eyed soldier with obsessive habits on its deck.

I guess, two separate characteristics can exist inside of someone at the same time.

The street was a downward slope that served as some relief in momentum. Fog horns bellowed across the harbor like very loud and untruly spirits that reminded you of your tardiness.

Like the sun and moon.

You glided your way past street cars as a few beeped at you due to your complete lack of care. You hustled through the crowd with east harbor serving as your only goal.

Night and day.

Hanji's stitchings at your waist started to break one by one from the immense pressure on your body.

What I'm doing is irrational.

But just a little longer and hopefully you could collapse into his arms... Let your weight rest on him, from now and into the future.

And selfish.

And immature.

The thought of missing his boat lifted the hair on your arms. A chill ran up your spine. "What if I'm too late?" You muttered.

But it's something that I was bound to do anyway. I'm fated for an unwise life. Everyone is. Trying to ignore that fact and live in perfection is what eventually kills the heart.

You stood by the foot of the harbor on a long strip which united the sea and land. Sailors clustered onto boats as well as common citizens who awaited their ride on the public ships. Your heart started to ache, everything was chaotic and the more time you spent trying to locate Levi only added to your stress.

It kills the innocence too.

And we need a little innocence in a cruel world like this.

"Where are you?" You whispered, tears blending into the whites of your eyes.

Nothing will ever cure the violence in man.

"Please don't go."

No matter where we run.

You raced down the strip, cupping a hand over your injury as Mrs. Lacey's dress began to spot with blood. You knew somewhere in the back of your mind that continuing to run like this would only lead to more pain.

But you banked on the odds of finding Levi, the odds of your heart—largely unreliable odds at that. Your mind was screaming for you to give your body a break. It was the rational thing to do, instead of sprinting down a packed harbor in the hopes of locating a needle in a haystack.

It's in all of us, on both hemispheres of the globe. All around us. Nothing really makes us different from one another.

That's when your eyes latched onto a familiar figure.

I accept that now.

A medium sized ship had just been unhooked from the jetty. And standing on its surface... was the very man you had been hoping to see.

It's like a virus that cannot be cured, only forgotten for a little while.

Could you make it? All it took was one faithful dash down the pier. One final leap into the unknown. But it felt like every step you took was pushing him further away.

There's no point in trying to live a flawless life. A pure life... In the end, the false garden always burns down.

To reveal the truth.

I will live in the entirety of myself, for myself,

because I know it's all you've ever wanted for me.

His silhouette gleamed in the sunlight like a harrowing beacon that fostered all of your wishes.

Thank you for being my brothers.

Thank you for protecting me.

And thank you for giving me strength.

You stepped onto the wooden pier and made your break for that little white ship. The soles of your shoes nearly split open due to the rapid abrasions against the ground. They weren't meant for an activity such as this, but they had to make do.

Tears streamed down your face and drifted into the wind—fogging your view. The only thing you held onto was his silhouette.

When you reached the end of the pier, with no more left to run. Your only remaining option was to scream at the top of your lungs.

Best regards, Y/n.

You took a deep breath and cried his name. "LEVI!"

Please look at me... Don't you dare leave now. Not after everything. Turn around. You demanded in your head.

"LEVI!"

His silhouette didn't move.

"LOOK AT ME DAMNIT! LOOK AT ME!"

People stared you like you were completely insane, and maybe you were. Hot tears stained your face, your chest felt like it was going to explode.

"PLEASE! I'M RIGHT HERE!"

You gritted your teeth and watched the boat sway farther and farther into the sea. Your lungs ached along with the leaking wound by your waist.

"Please turn around... you idiot." You whispered, shaken with tears.

"Levi... LEVI!"

The foghorns were right, you really were too late.

It hurt too much to watch the boat sail away so you turned around and began your walk back down the pier.

Part of you found it all so childish, the fact that you'd really thought you could make it in time. The sun was already halfway gone from the moment you'd stepped out of the Lacey's shop.

You watched as families reunited with one another on the pier. Wives awaiting their husbands, little children dashing into the arms of their parents. That harbor was a symbol of joy for others, but for you, it was just a representation of a wasted chance.

You were nothing but a foolish woman who believed that she could outrun the sun.

"Y/n?"

Your heart paused in your chest.

Every bone in your body took a halt.

Were you hearing things or was that actually-

You slowly turned around, afraid of being let down. What if there really was no one? But when you saw the very real figure in front of you, all doubt escaped your body.

He stood with his back to the sun, facing you. It's light framed his head like a halo. Jet black locks blowing in the ocean wind.

"Levi..."

How could a moment be so evidently real yet dreamlike? There he was, the man you'd been thinking about for hours on end. The man you'd tore open your own scars for.

He had this serene look on his face, you could see it in his eyes as they locked on you and only you. His lips were curved in a faint smile, one step away from being a straight line.

It felt like the world had stopped moving, and time stood still for the two of you.

"You came..." He said quietly, appearing to be in the same dreamy mindset as you, questioning if the woman who stood before him was even real.

The string inside you that had been holding you together, severed in his presence. You leapt into his arms as the man caught you without hesitation, peddling a few steps backward from your force.

You clutched onto the back of his shirt.

"I didn't think you'd actually come." He whispered, holding your head to his chest.

"I didn't think you'd turn around." You replied.

"I thought I was hearing things at first... Tch, maybe I still am."

"Didn't you mention having a few screws loose or something?"

"You remembered that? Can't say I'm not embarrassed."

"I'm embarrassed for you."

"As if you're not the one who's about to rip my shirt." He chuckled, you felt his laugh vibrate in his chest.

"We'll find you a new one, let me ruin this one."

Levi laughed and pulled away, beginning to feel the moisture of your blood rub against his torso. He looked down. "Y/n you're bleeding. Fuck, you bursted your stitches coming here didn't you."

"Something like that."

"You're such an idiot, why would you-."

You kissed him on the lips... and he quickly hushed.

A look of awe broke onto his face as soon as you moved away.

"So I could do that again." You whispered.

You peaked your head out at the squad as they stood on the edge of the ship. The same one you had be hollering at... they'd really turned around for you. "I think we might have an audience."

"Are you love birds gonna get on the boat or what!" Connie called.

Levi wanted to heckle a quick 'fuck off!' back to the boy but there were children around. You could see it on his face, the man was holding his tongue.

"Let's go." He said, placing a hand on your lower back. You gripped onto his bicep for support and he slowed down to match your pace.

"Where the hell did you even find this ship?" You asked, gazing up at the structure ahead.

"Did I ever tell you that I used to be a thief?" He said casually. You genuinely couldn't tell if he was being serious or sarcastic.

"A what!?"

He really was a mystery.

"I'll tell you all about it on our way home."

You paused for a second and replayed his words. Our way home...

Levi stood on the boarding ramp.

"You gonna get on? Or did I scare you away just now?" He said, stretching out a hand for you.

You accepted his aid and let your hand rest in his palm. Levi helped you walk up the ramp.

"What's your last name?" You finally asked.

He hoisted you up onto the surface by the waist. "Ackerman."

"If I'm not mistaken, isn't that the surname of some clan? I probably sound ludicrous asking this since it's a common last name."

"I'll also tell you all about that too, I'll tell you everything."

The fringe of hair that usually covered parts of his forehead blew upward in the wind. You could see his entire face.

"Y/n..." Eren said, standing with the group.

"Hey kid."

He walked up to you with a smile from ear to ear. Levi let you go for a moment so you could give the brunette the hug he'd been waiting for. Eren was warm, and his body absolutely towered over you. It was honestly a mystery how he was younger than Levi.

"Okay that's enough." Levi said, stepping forward. Eren laughed and let you go.

You greeted the rest of the squad and chatted on the boat for a bit before Levi and Hanji took you under to fix your stitches. When you felt strong enough to move again, Levi walked you to the surface and the two of you watched evening set in

The sea pulled and sighed like a breathing organism. Little flecks of water brushed your face as you leaned your elbows on the edge of the ship.

"I'm still interested in hearing about your um... Thieving days?" You said.

Levi snickered and focused his attention on the misty horizon. "Don't go running off on me afterwards."

"I don't scare that easily."

He moved a little closer to you. "Well... It was a long time ago, and a period in my life that I'm not too proud of. I lived in this filthy excuse for a city. The only way to survive was to take from others, and hope that no one dared take from you. I did a lot of awful things. All the way up into my 20s. I didn't care about anyone else but myself."

"How did you end up in the military. I mean, you seem pretty well mannered now."

Levi scoffed. "Yeah that's another long story. Someone came into my life and changed everything. Kind of like you. He pulled me out of that trash heap and showed me that I could be a better man. Not only for myself, but for others."

"This person... where is he now?" Part of you already knew the answer.

"He's dead."

A cold gust of wind swept past you two. His gaze on the horizon refused to break as if he was trying to remember something long gone—trying to hold on.

"I'm sorry." You whispered.

"It's okay, it was years ago. People die in our field all the time."

"Do you think you're gonna die?"

"I could... I'm just hellbent on making sure that doesn't happen." He declared, finally turning towards you.

"What's your reason?"

"For living?"

"Yeah..."

Levi gently grabbed your hand. "There's someone I want to protect."

-ˋˏ ༻✧༺ ˎˊ-

One Year Later...

Your legs tangled around his own which let you know that the time hadn't reached six am. Levi was still in bed, out like a light. You savored these moments, so much so that it made you want to just melt into him.

His side of the blanket rested on his waist because he hated feeling sweaty in the summer. It's also why he slept with only a loose pair of shorts. Some nights he'd even opt into sleeping naked... and those were lovely nights.

Sweat dribbled around the grooves of his chest and across his temples. His arm unconsciously wrapped around you. Levi's cheeks would also get a little rosy in the warm months as well.

You sat up on your elbows and collapsed your body right onto his torso. His chest jerked and he let out an aching groan.

"Oh don't be dramatic, I'm not that heavy." You giggled.

Levi peaked open his eyes. "How would you like it if I just did, this." He said, lifting you off him and back down on the mattress before plopping his weight on top of you. "First thing in the morning, ah?"

You let out a similar discomforted groan. "Ow, well you actually are like a human weapon so I'm pretty sure the scenarios differ."

"Look who's being dramatic."

"Shut up." You laughed, pecking his lips. "Morning."

Levi smiled a little. "Morning."

The sound of his voice at this time of the day was heavenly. You thanked your lucky stars that you were up early enough to hear it.

You brushed a few black locks out of his face. "You have the cutest bed head."

"Don't ever say that again."

"What? It's true." You laughed, ruffling the top of his head to make it even more messy.

"It's the crack of dawn and you're already irritating me sweetheart."

"A new record."

Levi caressed your cheek and gently tucked your hair behind your ears. There would be moments when he'd almost need to pinch himself in your presence. Never did he believe that he could wake up in the morning beside his love. He'd given up on romance a long time ago. For years, he'd accepted the fact that he was just going to be alone for the rest of his life.

Until you came along, and reminded him of just how much he actually craved this feeling.

He roved his eyes over your features and whispered beneath his breath. "Come here."

It was like that simple phrase itself pulled you out of your body and into him. Your lips collided with his, you could feel his muscles relaxing while his body weakened from the intimacy. You wrapped your legs around his waist and dragged him even closer, as if you two weren't already close enough.

You pulled away for a second, a flash of disappointment on his face. "Do men get boners when they're irritated too?" You joked.

Levi clicked his tongue. "Are you going to act like I can't feel what's going on with you as well?"

"What's going on with me babe?"

He rolled his eyes and slipped his hand down below the blanket, digging it beneath your underwear. "You're wet."

You twitched for a split second due to the touch of his fingers between your thighs. But Levi didn't stop there, he continued rubbing slow, sensual circles right where you needed him most, all while looking deeply into your eyes.

He didn't say a word, that gaze already carried enough. You started grinding yourself against his hand which signaled to him that you desired more than just his fingers. He pulled down your underwear and tossed it somewhere on the mattress.

Levi looked down at you, his favorite thing to do. No matter how many times you'd re-enacted this scene together, Levi always took his time just staring at your naked body like it was the first time all over again.

Right before he would take you...

He pushed himself inside slow enough to savor the initial feeling. You looked at him sweetly, watching his lust peak through the exhaustion in his eyes. He gathered you in with an inhale, and pulled out with an exhale. He repeated this slow, grinding motion. You felt the tension all the way down to your ankles, producing a stiffness in your legs.

You breathed together, his hard grunts contrasting your whimpers. He started to get hasty while the glaring noise of sex filled the room—moans, flesh slapping, a creaking bed, and heavy breaths.

You two weren't particularly loud this morning, although there were many days when you were. Sometimes he'd even take you on little vacations and rent out a private house just so the two of you could fuck obscenely without the underlying worry of someone listening on base.

Levi knew that you loved being able to moan for him, and he didn't mind giving you an exclusive space to do that. In fact, the man basically spoiled you every chance he got.

He brought your lips to his and drove them apart. His tongue forced its way in through the opening, lazily brushing into the pit of your mouth. Levi was the first thing you tasted and the first thing you felt that morning, utterly devouring your senses.

A low groan echoed from the back of his throat and into your mouth, a faint noise that begged you for more. You could feel him getting close. Levi moved away from your lips and took the pleasure of gazing down at you once more... as if he were in the presence of something divine. Honestly, if he could have a snapshot of you, frozen in time with this exact position, he would. The man thought that if there was a heaven, it was right here between the sheets with you... and between your thighs.

Your body shook up and down, chafing against the mattress. Your impending release pushed and pulled inside you, aching to explode. His hand trailed over to your lips as he pushed his thumb inside your mouth, watching you respond exactly how he'd intended. You sucked it and he pulled it out, a string of saliva followed.

Levi licked it clean with an eagerness to taste you again. You lost yourself in his eyes as you always did whenever you two were this close. They were so delicately blue.

"I love you Levi." You whispered, fighting through the knot in your stomach.

"Y/n-." A sharp grunt slipped from his lips mid sentence. "I love you too."

Whether it was your body's limit, or what he'd just said, something pushed you over the edge, and you came right beneath him. You clawed his back, twitching and moaning until the tension settled and you could rest back into yourself.

Levi's breath shuttered as he finished onto your stomach, dripping it down the soft curve of your cunt.

"Are you trying to get me pregnant this time? You gotta marry me first, remember?"

He brought your ring finger to his lips and pecked the skin. "I like the thought of giving you my last name." He muttered in your ear, collapsing on top of you. You rubbed his back.

"That means a lot, Levi."

He started kissing your neck. "You mean a lot."

Your eyes shut as you let him sprinkle soft pecks down your skin. You could feel his breath slightly tickle the hairs on your neck.

"Someone's in a good mood." You giggled.

He poked his head up from you, a lock of hair bouncing on the top of his head. "I'm always in a good mood."

"Yeah okay, are you drunk?"

Levi kissed your forehead. "You know I don't get drunk."

"Cunt drunk perhaps?"

He spit out a laugh. "Maybe a little."

You idly traced your finger along his jawline and simply soaked in the beauty of his features. A beard had been creeping up on his face over the past few weeks.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked, rubbing his cheek and then examining his hand.

You kissed his jaw. "No, you're just handsome."

A prominent blush spread across his cheeks. He'd never admit it, but compliments like that about his appearance always made him feel really good.

Levi turned his head at the mounted clock and sighed. "Fuck I gotta go get ready, it's almost six."

He quickly pecked your lips and hopped out of bed, rolling back his shoulders with a cracking noise that honestly made you wince.

"I'll get ready with you." You followed, grabbing his wrist.

"Doesn't your shift start at eight?"

"I can go in early."

"You're not a morning person." He retorted.

"Well I'm wide awake now, thanks to you." You pulled the blanket back so that he could see the mess he'd made on your stomach. "Plus, I've got to clean this off me one way or another."

"Fine, I'll allow it." He grimaced, picking you up out of bed and throwing you over his shoulder with ease.

"Shit! Wait, don't drop me." You pleaded in a fit of giggles. You could feel the sheer strength in his body as he held you, part of him enjoyed showing it off to you. Levi carried you to the bathroom and plopped you down in the tub.

"You're not getting in?"

"I don't think I've got enough time, I need to shave." He said, looking in the mirror at his dreaded facial hair.

You turned the wheel for the bath water and started to let it fill, leaning against the edge with your chin in your hands.

"It suits you." You blurted.

"It feels dirty."

"It's hair, no different than the one on your head. If it feels dirty than you mine as well go bald."

He started running a hand through his black locks. "Bald huh."

"God no, please don't actually shave your head." You laughed. Sometimes Levi was funny without even trying to be. His bullheaded nature and strange habits made him an interesting man to observe.

"Well now you've put the thought in my head."

"Let's put it out of your head."

Levi laughed, washing his face and sticking a toothbrush between his lips before walking over to you in the bath. He rubbed the top of your head. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

You nodded and leaned into his soothing touch. He started lightly scratching your head, massaging your scalp.

"You're gonna put me to sleep." You mumbled, shutting your eyes.

"Perfect, you don't need to be up this early anyway."

"I'm not a baby."

"You act like one sometimes."

"When?"

Levi scoffed and headed back over to the sink so he could spit out the tooth paste. "Uh yesterday when I came home and you were crying your fucking eyes out."

"I didn't know you'd taken extra hours, okay. I thought something bad happened."

"Last week when you fell asleep in the mess hall."

You cringed at the thought of that particular memory. "Food makes me tired."

"I had to carry you out in front of everyone."

"It was one time."

"One embarrassing time."

"You've had plenty of embarrassing moments yourself. Probably more than me." You threw back.

"Like?"

"Just now you were about to shave your head because you thought your hair was dirty."

"You were the one who mentioned it."

"Foolishly."

Levi finished brushing his teeth and took a piss. You two were so close that things like that never harbored any shyness. "When's your break?" He asked, washing his hands.

"It depends on the schedule. I think around noon today. Why? Are you planning on stopping by the infirmary?" You urged, hoping that was what he was insinuating.

"I was just wondering."

You narrowed your eyes. "Liar."

"I'm not ly-. Anyways, so it's at noon?"

"Yes..." You said, raising a brow.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He chuckled.

"I'm just trying to figure you out, Ackerman."

-ˋˏ ༻✧༺ ˎˊ-

"Good morning Miss. Y/n."

"Good morning Y/n."

"Morning." You smiled, walking down the nursing hall with your bag in hand. Your pumps clicked against the floor and echoed your presence. It would be another long day of administering medicines, filling bottles, and taking care of injured scouts on the base.

Levi had gotten you this position within the first few weeks of you arriving in Paradis. He thought it would be perfect for you, they were already low on staff anyways.

The plus side was being able to work in the same building as Levi—the military base in Trost, which was also where the two of you lived together. Levi had his own office in the building, it also held a large bedroom and bathroom, essentially an apartment.

"You're here early." One of your coworker's chirped, joining you on your walk down the hall.

"I was already awake so I thought why not."

"I'm assuming it was someone in particular that woke you up." She smirked.

"Other way around actually."

"You woke him up? Since when are you a morning person?"

"Since today." You smiled back, turning into the clinic doors. She shook her head and watched fondly as you disappeared behind the entrance.

"She's gonna be so happy when she sees it..." The woman whispered to herself.

You entered the inpatient ward and greeted your usual soldiers. There had been a battle a few weeks ago by the beach which rimmed Paradis. Marley attacked, but they didn't get very far thanks to the scouts. However, the fight did leave many soldiers with horrific injuries; severed limbs, ghastly burns, and many gunshot wounds. Most died out on the battle field.

You remembered crying to Levi one night after an agonizing shift, aiding survivors of the battle. You'd watched many people die right in front of you and it wasn't an easy pill to swallow.

But now, everyone seemed to be getting better. Most scouts suffered some irreversible damage that would obviously leave them unfit for further missions, although it was better than being dead.

You reviewed the physician notes and read up on each patient you had to see that day before making your rounds. The first person on your list was Jean.

You met him in the hall of beds that rested below gaping windows—giving a great brush of sunlight to the soldiers that needed it. You brought your clipboard and a bag of supplies to administer blood work and medicine.

"If it isn't my favorite nurse." He croaked, still a flirt even in his feeble state.

"If it isn't my favorite patient."

"I thought you weren't supposed to have favorites."

"It'll be our secret, don't get me in trouble." You winked.

"My lips are sealed."

You flipped through your clipboard until you had a clean sheet for notes and scribbled his name at the top. "How are you feeling this morning?" You asked.

Jean looked down at himself. His right leg had been amputated up to his knee and he had severe head injuries. Most likely some type of extreme concussion. He almost sounded drunk when he spoke. "Better."

You sighed, Jean was always trying to make it seem like things weren't as bad as they actually were. You two had a similarity in that aspect.

"Is the pain still intense? How's your head?" You pushed.

"My head? Well it's still uhh... as you can tell." He chuckled. "It's still pretty fucked up. Can you write that in your report?"

"What's the pain on a scale of one to ten?"

Jean swallowed his pride. "Like an eight."

You penned his response and asked a few more questions before pulling out an IV for blood work. You stuck the needle in his forearm and watched as the tube filled with red.

"I also have some more pain killers for that head ache." You added, finishing up with the IV and patching the tiny incision with a bandaid.

"Pain killers won't do what a bottle of wine will."

"I told you Jean, we can't let you drink in our care. Something could happen."

"I'll bribe you."

"No."

"I won't tell."

"Just take the damn pills, but not all at once." You checked the clock. "Next one should be taken at noon. Then five pm if needed."

"If this doesn't take my head ache down to a six at least I'm gonna go limp to the wine cellar."

"I'd like to see you try." You chuckled.

Jean popped the little white pill into his mouth and took a sip of water. "Satisfied?" He laughed.

"Very."

Honestly, if anyone was going to make your job feel a little entertaining it was Jean. Sometimes you'd just sit on the edge of his bed during your lunch break and talk about your day or whatever random topic that came up. He always made you laugh too.

You moved onto your next line of patients and repeated the same check in. To combat the monotony, you idly chatted here and there with the injured scouts. The best part of your job was being able to socialize, a breath of fresh air from your previous occupation as a lone farmer.

Noon finally set in, along with the exhaustion. Today was just like any other. You favored the more ordinary days because it meant that everyone was safe, Levi was safe...

There were no missions lined up which gave you some ease. Just an ordinary, monotonous afternoon.

"Y/n L/n!" You heard one of the nurses call in the distance. You were situated in the mess hall with a few coworkers on your lunch break.

You turned around, quickly chewing your food before responding. "Yes?"

The woman nodded her head in your direction and walked over. She had the same uniform as you—a white circle skirt and blouse.

"Someone's here to see you."

You raised your brows. "Is it Levi?"

"No, it's not the captain."

"Oh."

You put your utensils down and got up to check who the hell was interrupting your break. You assumed it was just something work related. But when you opened the doors of the mess hall, you were surprised to see none other than Eren Jaeger leaning against the wall.

He flashed you that bright eyed smile of his, you imagined how many girls he'd probably left breathless with that one single look.

"Why didn't you just come get me yourself?" You asked, crossing your arms.

Eren stepped up from the wall. "I wanted the dramatic effect."

"You're so annoying." You laughed. "What is this even about?"

"You'll see."

The boy set his arm out for you to grab on but it was only met with more skepticism. "Um... Is this an escort?"

"Yup."

You looked up at the brunette who wiggled his arm a little in order to urge you.

"I don't know what I'm getting myself into." You blurted, hesitantly hooking around his forearm. The boy led you outside behind the castle to where the gardens resided.

"Where are we going?" You said.

"You'll see."

"Must you be so cryptic?"

"Patience Y/n, patience."

He stopped at the foot of a hill and removed himself from your grasp. "Up there." He said.

"Huh?"

"Up there, you'll see."

You furrowed your brows. "Okay..."

The hill wasn't anything steep, just a light hump by the edge of the garden. You still couldn't see what laid beyond it from your angle.

You started trailing up, debating if it was even worth it. All you could think about was how hungry you were.

This brat's gonna pay if he's just messing with me right now.

You looked back, halfway up the hill. "Just remember Jaeger, I'm missing my lunch break because of whatever silly plan you've conjured up and-."

Your eyes widened with a faint gasp. Eren started chuckling from down the hill and walked away to give you some space.

Standing across the field, beneath a decadent gazebo of pink and red roses, was Levi. The flowers snaked up its arches and hung around the roof. They definitely appeared to have been strategically placed. They wavered ever so slightly through the wind in a colorful sigh.

You didn't even know what to think right now. Why was the gazebo decorated, why was Levi waiting for you, and why was your heart beating a mile a minute even though you were completely clueless.

Is this a date? Right now? Here?

You walked across the field, speeding up when the gazebo got closer. Your heart out ran your pace, it already reached Levi before you could.

For a moment, you were trapped in that memory of a year ago—chasing after the fading boat. Except this time the destination wasn't running away from you... It waited.

You felt butterflies float in your stomach as soon as you finally reached him. Levi always managed to leave you a blushing mess, even if he hadn't uttered a single word yet.

"Hey." He said, pulling you into his arms. You felt something inside you relax. The heaviness of the world always disappeared in Levi's presence; all your burdens, your worries, he simply swept them from your shoulders.

"What's all this?" You asked, barely able to contain your toothy grin.

"You like it?" He smiled like a kid who'd just gotten praise.

"Yes, I love it! It looks like a dream. And when they blow in the wind... It's just so... perfect. Did you do this?"

"I had some help."

You already knew he was probably referring to his squad. Just the thought of them putting up these roses together made you chuckle.

"When? Yesterday or last week? Although I don't remember seeing it. H-How long did it take its just so-." You stopped yourself from rambling, so many emotions were revenging through your body and it was a challenge to formulate an actual coherent sentence.

Levi watched the range of embarrassment then bashfulness flush over your face, and he adored every second of it.

"I'm embarrassing myself aren't I? I can't even speak right now I'm just so shocked. It's magnificent." You said, looking around at the roses which lined the pillars.

He tucked a hair behind your ear. "It's all for you." His eyes carried the softest gaze, delicately looking into yours the way they always did when the two of you were alone. He'd hold you like glass, and pray that you never leave his sight.

"You know I love you... so much." He said deeply, the baritone of his voice echoed within you. Levi rarely ever voiced his feelings, he just always assumed that you knew how he felt. But today, he'd said it twice in the span of only a few hours.

"I love you too." You whispered.

"I know I don't always say it, I'm shit with words and sometimes you just make me..." He let out a deep breath. "You make me nervous."

"You're doing well right now."

"You're being generous with that compliment sweetheart."

"Okay, maybe a little jittery." You giggled and Levi couldn't help but laugh at himself too. You felt his hand slightly shaking behind your back.

"You're my girl, you know that?" He said, swaying you a bit.

"Levi.."

The man let go and descended onto one knee.

"So..." He continued, reaching into his back pocket.

Your hands flung up over your mouth as a sharp gasp escaped between your fingers. "Oh my god... Levi."

Now you were the one shaking.

"I want to make you my wife rather." He said, holding a small velvety box in his pale hands. Your heart was going mad.

Levi watched the tears swell in your eyes and wanted nothing more than to stand up, grab your face, and kiss you till your last breath. But he had to get this off of his chest first.

"I want to be the reason that you feel safe, every single day of your life." He said, speaking through the lump in his throat. The man was feeling an intensity of emotions he'd never thought were actually possible for a guy like him. After everything he'd been through, dragged through the fucking mud for nearly thirty years. He'd presumed that maybe, just maybe, his heart had dried up over time.

But in this moment, he was harshly reminded of just how human he still was. And that's a beautiful feeling... for anyone.

"I will carry you forever. Through everything, all your tears, your moods, your happiness, your sadness, or when you fall asleep in the mess hall again." The two of you giggled, a brief relief from the heaviness.

"You are the love of my life," He continued. "My loveliest friend, and I will hold you on my back till the day I die."

You started to cry as Levi's silhouette blurred into your tears. You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, hell bent on seeing this moment in clear view.

"Y/n L/n, will you marry me?" He asked, stepping into unknown territory with that one simple sentence.

But did he even need to ask?

He knew.

You parted your lips expecting a response to leap out but all that escaped was another shuttered breath. He'd literally robbed you of words, taken your breath away in all his romantic glory.

You tried one more time, hoping that your lungs were on your side here. "Yes." You sniffled.

Levi's shoulders relaxed and he plucked the shiny ring from it's placement in the box to slip it around your trembling finger. All before standing up, grabbing your face in the very way he'd been dying to, and kissed you.

He kissed you like your lips were all he needed to survive, like he was claiming you to the world as his lifeline, his heart.

"You really... did all this just for me? You really... I can't even talk." You broke down even more.

Levi leaned his forehead against yours and whispered. "Didn't I tell you sweetheart? I like the thought of giving you my last name."

END

Outro Song -ˋˏ ༻ Crush ༺ ˎˊ- by Cigarettes After Sex. This was the song that inspired my fic, thank you for reading.
- Elle ♡