Happy valentine's day, beautiful!"

West held a rose in his hand, looking like he had stepped off the newest season of The Bachelor. All he needed was a pressed suit and a camera crew to complete the look. He ran a hand through his tousled sandy brown hair as he flashed Luce a million-dollar smile. Dozens of students passed by him in the hallways filled with paper hearts and red heart-shaped balloons. Fairwood High had gone above and beyond to make sure people knew that love was literally in the air.

My best friend Luce jumped up and down, her ash-blonde hair hitting her cheeks as she threw her arms around West's neck to hug him and accept his rose. West picked her up as if she weighed nothing, swinging her slightly and then setting her down. West was huge, but he acted like a little kid, which I guess he was at heart.

"Why can't there be a singles day?" Taylor groaned, watching them with half disgust and half yearning. "Love sucks." Taylor was the epitome of a queen who didn't need a man to thrive; the only problem was that she was tired of her own will to avoid men at all costs.

She shut her locker door for emphasis, crossing her arms across her black crop top. If things went Taylor's way, she'd take down Valentine's Day as a national holiday forever.

"Singles Day is every day for you," West told her, laughing as she held up her middle finger.

"Sup Grey, Coop," West added, giving us a quick head-nod in greeting.

"Hi, West." I smiled as I shut my locker.

"You're coming to my party, right?" he said, poking me on the shoulder. "Bring Justin. He bailed on practice this morning. I was looking forward to beating his ass on the field."

My smile wavered, remembering how last night had ended. Our romantic night had turned into a complete shit-show. Justin didn't get why I would want anything to do with Natasha. Rightfully so — he always said life was better before she stepped foot in our lives.

I wasn't a saint. I had spent countless hours wishing Natasha would disappear from my life, disappear forever.

I just never thought it would become true.

"Earth to Haven," West said, tapping on my forehead. "Don't tell me you're thinking about canceling on the most epic party of the season."

"You know I wouldn't miss one of your parties," I said, pushing thoughts of Natasha to the back of my mind. "I'll be there with champagne. Only the finest for my favorite party planner."

He grinned, clapping his hands together. "That's what I'm talking about. See, Haven gets it. You all have the code down, right?"

"You don't have to say code every time you talk about the color scheme," Cooper said. "It sounds like we're secret agents, dude."

West ignored him, running a hand through his hair, eyes glittering with anticipation. "Wear red if you're in a relationship, white if you want to stay single, and pink if you're open to anything... including a hookup." He raised his eyebrows. "Holy shit, this is the first year I'm not wearing pink in like two years. Although, I think I'll be good in the action department." He winked at Luce.

"Gross. Kill me now," Taylor muttered, pretending to gag. "Valentine's Day is an overrated holiday. Do you know what holiday lives up to its hype? Halloween."

"I don't know, Tay. Blood and gore aren't my things. Plus, you pretend to be somebody else," Luce said, dabbing her signature Dolce & Gabbana rose perfume on her wrists.

"Exactly," Taylor said. "That's the best part. You can be anyone in the fuckin' world. And hey, Halloween is romantic too. I'd date Michael Myers over any guy at this school."

"That's... concerning," Cooper said. He turned his attention to West. "Hey West, do you think Lila will be at the party?"

I thought about Cooper's latest crush, Lila Dallas. With her long ballerina legs and flawless dark skin, she was beautiful and one of the most talented dancers on the dance team. Even though Coop was unlucky in relationships, he was head over heels about Lila ever since he had seen her perform at the school's talent show.

"Somebody's in love," Luce sang. "She will be if you ask her. Invite her!"

"Facts. If it's Cooper's girl, she's on the guest list." West pretended to shoot a basketball in the air. "Cooper's girl. It has a nice ring to it."

"Not my girl," Cooper said, flushing. "Besides, she doesn't even know I like her."

"Maybe if you wear pink, she'll get the idea," West teased.

"Well, I'm wearing white all day," Taylor said. "The last thing I need is some horny junior trying to convince me he's different from the rest."

"Try pink too, Tay. Maybe you'll get some for once," West joked, making her hit his shoulder. As they bickered, I turned to Luce, hiking my backpack over my shoulders.

"Looks like I'll be wearing white too," I joked.

"Shut up. You and Jus are basically married," Luce said, laughing.

Wrong choice of words. Justin was now my boyfriend with an asterisk. After the look on his face when I told him about Griffin's call, I didn't think I'd be getting any roses or action today.

She saw the look on my face and recognized it. "Wait a minute, did you guys fight?"

I shook my head, lowering my voice. "I don't know. We went to Lake George this weekend, and it started well. But we got into a fight at the end, and he's been ignoring me since." I didn't mention Griffin's voicemail. I knew I was fueling fire to the lie by keeping secrets from the closest people to me, but I didn't want to get them involved.

There was a constant battle between my heart and mind. Even though I knew Justin was right and that I shouldn't care about Natasha anymore, I also knew a loose thread still connected us — the one that made it too difficult to ignore the doubt that there was something darker about Natasha's disappearance.

Police always said missing girls weren't truly missing. Chances were, they wanted to be gone.

There were always exceptions, and I didn't know what I would do if Natasha was one.

Luce pouted, mistaking my silence as worry for Justin. "You guys will be okay, though. I mean, it's you and Justin. You guys are soulmates. You'll figure it out."

I pursed my lips together. I had perfectly sculpted everything about my relationship to fit into my life, like missing puzzle pieces meant to connect. It wasn't just that we were good together; it was also that we didn't know how to be apart.

I pasted a bright smile, not wanting to be a buzz-kill. "Justin will come around."

"If he doesn't, you can pretend to be my date at this party. We can ditch the guys," Luce said. "Everything will be fine." She squeezed my hand and the nerves from earlier dissipated.

Luce was right. Everything would be.

"Wait! Before I forget, I have something for you guys." I reached into my bag and bought out the little tray with cupcakes I had baked with Dev this morning. Well, the cupcakes I had baked while he lingered, waiting to steal some. I opened the lid, revealing red velvet cupcakes with little hearts on the white icing.

"Dibs on the biggest one," Cooper called.

"That's what she said — ow." West furrowed his eyebrows when Taylor elbowed him in the ribs.

"What these neanderthals meant to say is thank you, Haven," Taylor said, taking a bite of her cupcake. She let out a small sigh of satisfaction. "This is the best thing I've ever tasted in my life. You're like the hotter Gordon Ramsay."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I said, laughing at the smudged icing on her ski-slope nose. Before she could wipe it off, I smudged it more.

"Haven, I'm going to get you back for that!" Taylor laughed, taking a slab of icing from Coop's cupcake.

"Hey, I was going to eat that. I don't know where your hands have been." Cooper looked heartbroken.

"Ooh, guys, we need to hurry. The Valentine's Day showcase is starting!" Luce finished her cupcake, crumpling up the wrapper in her hand. The annual Valentine's Day showcase was a major event at Fairwood. The school's choir performed singing grams and handed out red roses to anyone who received one.

We turned the corridor before pushing open the red metal doors to the auditorium. A burst of cool air from the air conditioning hit us as soon as we entered. The rest of the student council had decorated the auditorium with a heart wall for photos and posters announcing the Valentine's Day showcase. We found a few empty seats near the back rows of black chairs.

"I can't believe this is our last showcase," Taylor breathed. "We're seniors. My cold, dead heart feels something right now."

"I think that's you getting soft on us, T," I teased.

"Oh, everyone looks so cute," Luce gushed. The choir had already assembled on the large stage, with mic stands and a tangle of wires surrounding them. The girls in Vocal Love wore red dresses, and the guys wore red shirts and black pants. But my eyes strayed on one person, and every other figure faded into the background.

Carissa Parker. Cari. Senior and choir soprano. Long reddish-auburn hair.

The last I knew, Cari had been best friends with Natasha. If Natasha were genuinely missing, Cari would've known. She certainly wouldn't have been singing with the rest of the choir.

The thought of it made me feel a little better.

The first singing gram was "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. It was for Ariana Fields from her girlfriend, Carla. A girl with curly brown hair and braces blushed. 

I felt a stab of nostalgia, remembering the first singing gram Justin had sent me, complete with a bouquet of roses instead of the singular roses they handed out. 

My phone vibrated with a text, and I looked down at my phone, the foolish part of me hoping it was Justin. It was a notification for a new group chat with my dad and sister.

"Happy Valentine's Day to my special girls! Love you both."

I smiled when I saw my dad had sent a selfie of himself smiling, holding up a thumbs-up in the air. My parent's love story was pretty freaking cute. My mom had moved here from India and met, in her words, "Prince Charming." Which would've been true if Prince Charming with a Boston native who made way too many dad jokes. I was mid-reply when I heard Taylor's name being announced.

Taylor froze, her eyes glazed with a deer-in-headlights look.

"Taylor Hughes, are you in the audience? Your singing-gram is from.... a mystery man."

The audience exploded with teasing murmurs. Taylor's face flamed, and I sucked my cheeks in so I wouldn't laugh.

"Tay! Go up; they're calling you," I said, nudging her. "You have a secret admirer!"

"Did one of you guys do this as a prank?" Taylor snapped. "Because I will so destroy — "

"Taylor Hughes! Going once, going twice."

Taylor shot us a save me now look as she made her way to the front stage.

"This is priceless," Luce squealed. "Who do you think sent her one?"

I didn't have any guesses. Taylor was beautiful and fearless, which meant any guy would be lucky to be with her. She also could be scary and intimidated most of the male population at our school, which made the candidate pool very sparse.

The choir started singing Falling Like The Stars, and Taylor must've turned fifty shades of red.

I saw the group disperse for the next song. Cari walked to the side to grab her water bottle, but before she could take a sip, the guidance counselor, Ms. Hernandez, approached her. Cari lowered her bottle, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion before her face paled. Within moments, her eyes were wet. 

 An unnerving pit of doubt settled in my stomach, and I tried to take steady breaths.

It doesn't have to be about Natasha.

The next performance started, but I no longer focused on the songs. Maybe I was thinking too much about this; maybe it had nothing to do with Natasha. I hated obsessing over any potential link to her, to our past. She had nothing to do with me anymore.

Still, as I watched Cari disappear, all I could think about was everything I didn't want the others to know.

Everything I wanted to forget.

"Haven?" Luce gently bumped her shoulder with mine. "Everything okay?"

I couldn't tell anyone about Natasha's alleged disappearance — not yet.

"Yeah," I said.

If there was one thing Natasha taught me, it was how to be a good liar.

--

As soon as the last bell rang, the hallways flooded with students.

Despite the skidding of sneakers across the tiles, unanimous slamming of locker doors, and frenzied loudspeaker announcements, I could only focus on one sound: my phone, which at the moment was completely silent, with no notifications from Justin.

He couldn't be mad at me today out of all days. I caught sight of my reflection in the trophy case by the principal's office. Dark tweezed eyebrows, straightened silky hair, coffee-tinted brown eyes. I had even swiped on some bold red lipstick for the occasion, matching the red corset top and pleated white skirt I was wearing. I looked good, which was deceiving, considering I felt the opposite.

I slid open my texts, typing out a quick message to Justin.

Where are you?

I found my locker and absent-mindedly fumbled with the combination lock. After getting it wrong the first time, I finally opened my locker. My usual binders and folders spilled over, but there was another object this time. I moved aside the stray sheets of paper to clear the way, eyebrows furrowing.

A dead rose. Frayed leaves and dark red petals scattered over the locker, spilling onto the photos I had of people I loved. I reached inside to pull the rose out, drawing my fingers back when the stem pricked my finger. I winced as the small trail of blood trickled down my finger.

Was this some cynical joke from Justin because he was mad at me? I turned the rose over, finding a little tag on the stem. The front read Cupid's Guide to Murder: Step One — Buy flowers for your loved ones. Works for a wedding ... or a funeral.

I froze, blood draining from my face.

What the hell?

I flipped the tag over, my skin crawling at the words on the back, deadlier than the message on the front.

Happy Valentine's Day. Love, Natasha.

Chills ran through my body, and I must've forgotten to breathe. I could barely hear anything over the sound of my heart echoing pitifully against my ribcage. I raised my gaze to the halls, searching through the crowd of students to see if anyone was watching me.

If Natasha was watching me.

It felt like she was there, her presence hanging over me like the darkest of storms.

"You're being ridiculous," I said under my breath. "Natasha isn't here. She isn't stalking you."

She wouldn't hurt you.

Except that was the thing. She would. She'd done it before.

The more seconds passed, I regained my breath and convinced myself that this was a sick prank. But it also was a realization — Natasha wasn't truly gone. The dead flower proved it. She was leaving behind tokens, letting me know she was still here.

I thought the drama and lies had ended over a year ago when Natasha disappeared from our lives and acted like she didn't know us in the hallway. Sometimes, it almost seemed like she was looking at me as we passed each other. By the time I checked, she was gone, like I had imagined the whole thing, and there was nothing left but the distant remnant of our old bittersweet memories.

We could finally have normal lives. But obviously, she hadn't changed and was still hell-bent on ruining our lives, starting with me.

I pushed my locker door shut, barely flinching at the metal clanking, before tossing the rose into the trash bin. When I looked up, I saw Willow Stevens looking at me curiously; her glossed lips folded together. Some things might've changed since our truth or dare showdown in freshman year, but one thing stayed consistent — we still didn't get along. Her hair was curled, tumbling down the white jumpsuit she wore. A satisfied smile came to her heart-shaped lips.

"Miss sunshine's a little grumpy this morning. Why are you throwing away flowers from the love of your life? Trouble in paradise?"

She thought Justin had given me a rose. I relaxed.

"Classic Willow, always involved in other people's lives." I didn't correct her about who the flowers were from. At that moment, I wanted to let her think it was from Justin because I knew it would bother her.

Willow's smile dropped, and she pursed her lips together. "You know, you should be a better girlfriend. Any girl would be lucky to date Justin. It's only a matter of time before he realizes the girl doesn't have to be you." With that, she walked away, her heels tauntingly clicking against the floor.

A breath I hadn't even known I was holding escaped my lips. I knew she was right. I knew it in my soul, buried deep within the rest of my darkest secrets.

And yet, I was the girl who didn't want the perfect guy.

I wanted someone else.