The grey metal of Natasha's locker was almost gone from sight, covered by flowers and posters. A way for people to pretend as if they loved her; as if they had a loss to feel for.

The truth was, most of them didn't know Natasha. Maybe they had heard her name before but couldn't quite place who she was or passed her in the hallways as they rushed to get to class before the bell rang, headphones dangling out of their ears.

Maybe they heard her laughter, twinkling like little bells, as she shut her locker door but forgot the sound as soon as they kissed their significant other or washed their hands.

Maybe they even saw her, saw the wisps of her hair that always would escape her ponytail, looked at how she ducked her head over her notebook and noticed how her foot would tap whenever she answered a question in class.

Maybe they saw her, but they never truly did.

There was one person who was different. She brought flowers to Natasha's locker daily, not to show everyone she cared, but because she had lost a piece of her.

Cari Parker. Natasha's only friend, the person who grew close to her after Natasha stopped being friends with the rest of us. I hadn't seen her since the Vocal Love showcase. Overnight, she was no longer like any other senior.

I wondered how she felt knowing her best friend was gone, without so much of a goodbye. Here one moment and then gone the next, as if she was nothing but the memory of a silhouette.

Cari stood there with a piece of paper in her hand. Sheets of the same paper were thumb-tacked to the walls, with a photo of Natasha and cursive writing underneath inviting the school to the candlelight vigil to commemorate her. I assumed she helped post the signs.

Against my better judgment, I wanted to talk to Cari to see how she was doing and if she had any answers. I didn't know why it was so important to me to discover what happened to Natasha when the others moved on.

"Vigil time." Luce's voice carried down, and I flinched at the sudden noise. She observed me with curious eyes, folding her arms across her blue dress. "Whoa, you're on edge."

I thought about telling her about going to Mrs. Ryan's house yesterday and what I had found in Natasha's room, but I didn't. If there was one thing I learned, it was that things were better with fewer people involved.

"Just scared," I said.

Luce nodded in silent understanding. "Ready to walk into a vigil filled with fake people who will probably look at us like we're killers?"

"Every high schooler's dream." I cracked a wry smile, linking our arms together.

Blending into the rest of the students wasn't too hard, thankfully. Most of the seniors were there, but there were also freshmen, sophomores, and juniors that had never met us, so it wasn't like we were wearing any tags across our foreheads that said suspected murderers. We found our friends on the East side of the bleachers.

Taylor glanced at us as we sat down, her blue eyes shining.

I looked away, remembering the last words we had spoken to each other and the fight that had erupted in the hallways. We hadn't made up yet, and something told me she was still upset.

"Hey," Justin whispered. "A couple of my teammates wanted to see that new Randall Feller movie after the memorial. You down to come?"

"I don't know if I'm in the movie-watching mood," I said.

"But this is about a zombie apocalypse, and it's supposed to be good." When he saw my small forced smile, his own dropped. "Alright, well, I bought the tickets already, but I can just give them to someone else."

Willow and the rest of her cheerleading posse found seats in the row in front of us, but her eyes landed on Justin. "Hey, Justin. See you at the movies after this." 

He shifted, his eyes glazing with discomfort. "Uh, hey, Willow. Sure thing."

"Willow's going to be there?" I lowered my voice.

"I told you it's a bunch of us." His eyebrows knitted together. "It's not like it's just her."

"No, yeah." I gave him a genuine smile instead. "I'm sorry, Jus. Watch some zombie gore for the two of us because I don't think I can stomach it for now."

He returned my smile, but this time it was strained.

The ceremony began, and even though there were so many people, you barely heard anyone over Principal Moore's booming voice as he spoke about Natasha. I saw Mrs. Ryan sitting close, her fingers threaded together as she stared into the distance.

Then it was Cari's turn. I watched as she walked up to the podium, her eyes nervously darting around. The stadium lights dimmed her mousy features, and her fingers trembled as she reached out to steady the microphone.

"Wonder what the freak's best friend is going to say," someone mumbled from the audience, causing a few people to giggle. I recognized Dean Ryland's voice and glared at him.

He was on the football team with Justin, but everything about him screamed a self-obsessed 'jerk.' 

"It's hard to talk about Natasha as if she's nothing but a glimpse of the past," Cari said, her voice wavering. "I keep thinking this is a nightmare, and one day I'll wake up, and she'll be here. But she's not." Her voice rose. "And now, people are more obsessed over her killer than her. As if this Killer Cupid is some kind of social media sensation, some kind of hero." She shook her head bitterly, her glittering eyes scanning the silent crowd. "Maybe he is. I hate him for what he did to my best friend, but in some kind of sick, twisted way, he could see her when no one else could. At least now, you're all here, as if you care about her or her death. Listening to the Natasha Ryan that I knew."

Waves of guilt passed through me.

"You were supposed to listen to her before," Cari continued. "You can use empty words to describe her. Funny, sweet, caring. But she was so much more than that." A small whimper escaped her lips, and even Taylor cast her gaze downwards.

"I just..." Cari's voice hitched. "I wish she could be here right now. She was the only person who understood me. I don't think anyone else will ever again." She shook her head, eyes empty. "Someone took that away from me." When she looked up, it seemed like her eyes fell on me. "Someone took that away from me," she repeated, softer this time.

I exhaled a shuddering breath.

Cari moved away from the mic, retaking her seat. Her eyes filled with tears, but they didn't spill. Principal Moore walked back to the podium to make the last announcement.

"We honor today, Natasha Ryan. A beloved daughter and friend, a phenomenal student, and a young woman who will be forever in our hearts." Principal Moore raised his head.

With that, he lit a candle and placed it in front of her photo frame, joining the other candles and completing the candlelit vigil. The candles illuminated Natasha's smile in the picture, and I had to look away. There was a moment of silence, and an entire bleachers' worth of people quieted at once. I glanced at my friends — every person who had attended the Valentine's Day party.

Every person had a reason to hurt Natasha.

"Hey. Let's go," Cooper said.

I followed his gaze to see everyone was making their way down the bleachers. I stood up, smoothing my jeans and following the others down. We had gathered at the bottom, and I heard her approaching us before I saw her.

Cari.

She was running towards us, her hair flying wildly in front of her face. "You stupid bitches." Her voice echoed in a shrill scream.

West grabbed her before she could reach us, trying to restrain her without hurting her.

"You — Let go of me!" She wriggled out of his grasp, her eyes burning with blazing anger and suppressed tears. A few students were looking our way. Camera flashes went off.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed. "You weren't even her fucking friends. Do you think I don't know how much you guys hated her? Do you think I don't know that you're probably happy something happened to her? I know everything."

"Cari —" Luce began. Her eyes were wide, lashes fluttering as she blinked in surprise. "Calm down, please. We're just here to pay our respects, like everyone else. Whatever you think —"

"No, you don't get to pretend like you deserve to be here when she would've never wanted that. None of you guys knew Natasha like the way I knew her." She let out a choked sob, hugging her arms around her as tears streamed down her face. "And now she's gone." She dropped her arms in front of her and her lip curled in disgust. "It should've been one of you."

I could tell she hated us, with all of her, but I still opened my mouth a little, taken aback by her crude words. Before I could say something, someone else had spoken.

"Your friend was a psycho bitch," Taylor said, making everyone turn and stare at her in shock. "What, you guys? I'm not holding Natasha on a pedestal just because she's not here. People are making it sound like she's some hero."

Her height towered over Cari's shorter frame as she stepped closer to her, grabbing Cari's wrist. Even though Cari had been the aggressor, she was the one who backed away first, looking at Taylor with fear.

"Taylor, stop," I said, my voice sharp.

Taylor looked at me, her fingers still laced around Cari's wrist.

"Let her go," I said. "She's hurting. And she's right. We shouldn't be here."

Taylor dropped Cari's wrist from her grasp. 

Cari backed away from her, looking at all of us, eyes landing on me last. I almost felt bad for her, outnumbered and now looking like she wanted to run away. I thought she was going to retort back to Taylor, but she had given up, letting her body go limp. She stumbled away, her coat drawn tighter around her body.

My stomach twisted, not wanting the conversation with her to have gone that way.

"That was out of pocket, Tay-Tay. You went a little overboard," Cooper said, letting out a low whistle. He spun his baseball cap around on his head.

"You know what? I thought I was until I remembered the type of person Natasha was. You guys are acting like she didn't get what she deserved." She turned her head so that her blonde hair tumbled down her back, looking at us with raised eyebrows.

"Cari lost her friend, Taylor. Someone who was one of our friends at one point. Do you remember? Do you understand that someone killed her? And if you keep talking like that, people will think you had something to do with it." Shit. The words had come out of my mouth before I could stop them, but I didn't want to backtrack.

I had rendered Taylor speechless, but I saw her look at me with a darkened gaze.

"The cops came to my house today," West said. "They asked me a bunch of questions, some shit that I didn't even understand. My parents had to handle half of it. I felt nervous as hell, even though I'm innocent. They're going to question everyone that came to the party that day if they haven't already. Haven's right; we're all suspects. And it's only a matter of time before they find out who did it."

The words settled in the air. Cooper shook his head. "I don't like any of this man."

"Well, I'm going home," Taylor said. "So rest in fucking peace, Natasha." She stuck her hands into her coat pockets and started walking away from the rest of us toward the parking lot.

I thought of what I had told Griffin. My friends would never hurt Natasha.

Now, I didn't know anymore.

Justin pulled me to the side, away from the rest of the group. I thought we were walking back to his car when instead, he said, "What is with you lately?"

"With me?" I stared at him dubiously. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, just... you shouldn't have yelled at Taylor like that," he sighed. "Well, you've been in some weird mood this week, and I wish you'd just go back to being you." He rubbed the back of his head, letting out a deep breath as if he could finally relax.

"Okay, well, sorry, Justin, I can't just be my normal happy self when someone we know is dead," I said incredulously.

He looked at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Do you not remember the shit Natasha did?" he said. "After all, you said it yourself. Being friends with her was a mistake. She told people we hadn't had sex yet. People thought you slept with someone else, and I had to deal with it."

"What is wrong with you?" I stopped him, hating the words coming out of his mouth and that he was making this about himself and our relationship.

"I'm just saying we can feel bad for her, but we don't have to go around acting like she wasn't a terrible person." He looked up and shook his head. "Look. I never wanted to tell you this, but people were saying nasty shit about you after her posts. Calling you a slut and all. I could've left you, and I didn't. I know I'd stand by you, but with how flaky you've been lately, I can't say the same about you."

I laughed in disbelief. Did he want a reward for not breaking up with me based on rumors and what other people were saying? "The world doesn't revolve around our fucking relationship!" I exclaimed.

Justin looked shocked at my outburst, but I didn't even care anymore. "And you know what? People can call me whatever they want. I'm not here to act like Natasha wasn't a shitty person. I'm here because, at one point, she was my friend. And I deserve to know what happened to her. Her mom deserves that. Cari deserves that. Griffin deserves that."

"Griffin?" he scoffed. "Who cares what he thinks? He's just some druggie. He probably killed her himself."

"Do you even hear yourself?" My voice rose as I felt myself visibly getting upset. "You don't know him like that."

He stepped back, his gaze growing dark. "How well do you know him then?"

"Do not turn this on me, Justin," I said. "I wouldn't do anything with someone else. If you don't know that by now, then why are you still with me?"

He scowled but didn't keep arguing about it because, of course, he had nothing to say to that.

"I know Natasha wasn't a good friend to me in the end, but at one point, she was. While her case is still open, I can't sit here and do nothing." I swallowed. "Why are you so against me trying to find out what happened?"

His face blanched. "I — it's not that I'm against it," he said hastily. "I just don't want to see you hurt. Am I an asshole for caring?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm trying to protect you."

"You don't know what I'm going through, how this investigation makes me feel. But Justin, this is important to me. You can't stop me."

"So, what, you're going to find her murderer? Do you know how stupid you're being right now?"

Justin scoffed.

Looking at Justin, I thought I'd see the sweet eyes and smile of the boy that had fallen in love with me, but I was looking at a stranger.

"Then I guess I am Jus," I said. I turned on my heel but realized I had one more thing to say. "And you know what? Whatever people are saying about me? That's not about you. So, if you want to leave, listen to yourself instead of others and just do it."

I realized that throwing away our relationship meant that I'd no longer get to call Justin my best friend. I'd no longer have the person who was always by my side. But at least I was being honest with myself. I met his gaze, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Because I'm done, Justin."

I kept walking. I thought I heard a voice calling me in the back, but I didn't turn back.

Not this time.