JJ is high as a kite and drunk as a skunk. Or something like that. To be honest, he got tired of waiting for the Pogues to get there, he got tired of feeling his dad's punches on his ribs, on his stomach, on his face, everywhere. He could conceal his bruised eye behind sunglasses, but the already purple marks on his chest? He can't hide those from himself. Not sober, at least. And he's definitely not sober right now. Did any of this even make sense?

He's not sure he remembers what he did, between the moment he got in the hot tub, got absolutely shit-faced, and now, chest well hid under bubbles, glasses of champagne floating in inflatable black and pink flamingos.

When Kat, Pope and Kie arrive, they look completely bewildered at his state. But, come on, why are they so worried? He looks like he's okay.

"JJ, what's this?" she asks, part shocked and frustrated.

He smirks a little. "I got a jet going straight in my butt right now." It doesn't make her laugh. Too bad for her. "Y'all should get in immediately, you hear me?" He pours champagne in three more glasses. "Salud!"

That's just what he wants. He just wants everyone to have a good time. "How much did this cost?" Pope asks.

JJ takes a huge gulp of champagne. Well, if they want to get into details. "Uh... Well, with the generator, the petrol, and oh, hey, express delivery..." He chuckles. "Pretty much all of it, yeah."

Kat's mouth goes slack. "All of it?"

He nods. "Yeah, all of it." Who cares, he's having fun.

"Yeah, all of it."

Something in the back of his brain makes him realize that Kat is straight-up panicking. "You spent all twenty five grand in one day?"

"Yeah, burned a hole right through my pocket. But, I mean, like, come on guys, like, look at this!"

They stare at him, registering the wrong things, like his wasted state, and not the fact that he did it for them, for them to catch a break. "Why?" she asks, gaping. It's the only sound she can let out.

"Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me," he tells her, taking off his glasses.

Kat lets out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes. He expects her to get angry, because that's what she does most of the time.

"KD, what? Can't a man have a little luxury in life?"

She huffs a little. "JJ, that's not luxury. That's too much."

Maybe she should get angry. People get angry, he can manage. The heartbreak in her eyes, he can't. Because if she gets sad, then it's real, and it's something he should be upset about, but he can't. Because if he does, he'll think about what happened, and he can't get that right now.

"You'd know about it, right? Come on, all this scrimpin' and scrapin'..." He hopes they can't hear the tears in his voice. "I mean, like... guys, we –" God, he should have done the convincing sober. "You only live once, right?" Nobody answers. "Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat's Ass. Come on."

Kie frowns. "In Kat's ass?"

"In the Cat's Ass." He smiles, proudly. "That's what I named her." She shivers, and he fears that she's slowly getting emotional. "Oh hey, yo!" he screams to prevent that. "I almost forgot." He presses on a switch, there's a whirring sound, and the disco ball begins to turn and make light. "Uh? Yeah that's right, I know. Disco mode. That's right, baby!"

She blinks. "JJ, what the fuck?"

"Are you kidding me?" Pope screams, and his face falls. "You could have paid for restitution!"

They don't get it.

"Or literally given it to any charity!" Kie adds.

They just don't get it.

"Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!"

He gets up, revealing the bruises on his chest. "Okay, well you know what? I didn't do that!" He tries to ignore the mortified look on Kat's face, the way her face contorts and the way she steps back in horror. "I got a hot tub!" he goes on, voice wavering. "For my friends. I got a hot tub for my friends. You know what? No, you know what? Screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family."

Silence answers him, and he's suddenly deathly afraid that he made a mistake and lost everyone he's ever cared for.

"I got this for you!" He sets the bottle down. Can't they see that? He just wanted them to have something nice, they never had anything nice! "Guys, look what I did for you! All right? Look at this! Look at this!"

Look at this, don't look at me. Don't look at the bruises, I know they're here, I can't do anything about them. Please, don't look at me.

"Jay," Kat says softly.

It's enough for his tears to spill on his cheeks, the way her voice quivers. It's too late, she's looking and she knows and it's real.

"No, you stop being emotional. It's fine, okay?" He has to stop, face twisting in pain. Maybe he can still save the situation, change it around. Avoid it altogether. "I mean, it's sweet, right? Everything –"

Kat stops him, getting in the hot tub and crushing JJ against her chest.

He rests his face on her shoulder, and he wraps his arms around her waist, sobbing softly, completely giving in to the hug. He's so, so tired, and he's been holding on for so long, he just can't do it anymore.

"I just couldn't do it," he says.

She holds him tighter. "It's okay, Jay. It's okay."

His whole body tenses as he sobs in her shoulder. "I can't take him anymore," he cries out, shaking. "I was gonna kill him."

"It's okay," she keeps on telling him, like a promise. "It's going to be okay, I swear." She doesn't know, she doesn't, but her promise is enough.

Water splashes as Kie and Pope join the hug, wrapping their arms tightly around them. He fucked up. Big time. Didn't he? Like he always does. It's the only thing he knows how to do. The only example he's ever had.

He bets he looks like his dad right now.

"I just wanna do the right thing," he sobs.

Kat kisses his temple, sniffling. "I know, Jay. I know." Her promise is enough.

🌊

By the time JJ has sobered up, Kie and Pope are gone. Kat is still here, though. She's probably antsy about leaving him alone, considering he bought a hot tub the last time she did.

Still, through his half-closed eyelids–and his pounding headache–he can see her on the chair beside the bed, arms crossed and droopy.

"Stop staring."

She's startled. She must've thought he was asleep, up until now. And he did get a solid thirty minutes. "I thought you were asleep," she says, eyebrow raised, looking away.

He smirks. "I can't, I can feel you staring."

Now, she's the one who scoffs. "I'm not staring."

"You are."

"I'm not!"

He chuckles.

The atmosphere in the room is weird. It's half-lit by the rising sun, but still mostly dark. It's nice. Even though JJ's head is killing him and his body feels sore, the memories of his dad aren't as vivid when Kat is here.

He sits up on the bed, and turns to her. He can't just leave her there on that chair. He scoots to the left, making a place next to him.

She drags herself to the bed, and settles next to him, their shoulders touching.

"Kie told me John B and you had a fight." He vaguely remembers getting the information, but that's it really.

She purses her lips. "Well, you know how I can get. He was right about some stuff I didn't want him to be. It escalated." She scratches her knee. "Maybe I'll apologise in the morning, if Ward doesn't kill him on his bloody fishing trip." She holds up a finger. "That I was definitely right about, mark my words. It's shady."

He takes her finger and lowers it. "Don't worry. You can't kill John B."

"People certainly tried," she chuckles out. "Imagine how insane this whole thing is for that sentence to be true." She turns to him, more concerned now. "What about you? How are you feeling?"

He groans, rubbing his face. "Like I have the fucked up cousin of a hungover."

She nods. "Makes sense."

Then, she looks away, in the vague, biting the nail of her thumb. "What's up?" JJ asks her.

She blows out a sigh. "I... kind of got scared," she tells him. "When I saw the bruises."

Immediately, his blood runs cold, and he shuffles around to hide his chest even though it's already covered. "Yeah, well... it's fi –"

She puts a hand on his mouth, and he stares back at her, bewildered, whimpering in surprise. "No, no, let me go on." He nods, and she takes her hand off. "I don't want you to go home," she tells him. "You can stay here, or... Or you can come back to the Palace, Henry won't mind, he secretly likes you. Just don't go home."

He considers her, a warm feeling spreading in his chest at the thought of mister H being okay with him. Parents usually don't like him. Say that he isn't a good influence. But he's afraid he won't actually take her up on the offer, the chances of him fucking everything up are too high, and Kat doesn't deserve it.

Instead, he cracks a smile. "Henry secretly likes me, uh?"

"Of course he does," she says. "Unless you don't want to see his face everyday?"

JJ isn't talking about Henry anymore. "I'd actually like to see his face everyday," he says.

"I think he would like that."

"I think I like you."

The words tumbled out of his mouth on their own accord, and he can't take them back if he wanted to.

Kat's mouth falls open. She stares at him, at his wide and bright blue eyes looking at her, the amount of sincerity in them. He can see the information work its way to her brain. She stays silent.

"Jay..."

He realizes he made a mistake with her tone only. Maybe it was too soon, maybe he should've listened to himself when he said that this door was closed, that they were only friends, but maybe it was the alcohol and the moment felt so right before it broke at his feet.

He's afraid she'll push him back to the entrance of the door again, afraid he ruined everything despite never touching her. She starts retracting into herself, and he reaches out, scared to lose her.

"Kat. KD, hey it's fine," JJ calls, grabbing her wrist. "It's okay, I was just being an idiot."

"I'm sorry," she immediately tells him. "It's just... you're my friend."

The words ring wrong, they hurt, and he wishes she'd just take them back, because JJ knows she meant well, but it sounds like a lie.

He bows his head, still holding her wrist. "Don't do that."

She's confused. "But you are..."

"I've liked you since the fourth grade, Kat."

She blinks, surprised. He doesn't know why. JJ loosely braided her hair. JJ brought her lilac items anytime he found some. JJ held her when she asked, let her go when she didn't. JJ was there even when she didn't want him, when she couldn't want him. And he always will be. There's no way around it.

Kat sits back down, and he resists the urge to heave out a sigh. Her eyes are shining with tears. He doesn't know why, he's the one being rejected.

"Jay," she says, softly. "I like you too."

His heart stops beating in his chest, as if to make sure that he hears her words right. "What?"

"But I can't," she immediately says, crushing him. "I'm sorry."

He swallows down the lump in his throat. She doesn't need him getting teary right now. "It's okay," he tells her, looking away.

"JJ."

"KD, it's fine, I swear," he stops her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's me, I get it, I promise you." Her eyes get lost in the vague, tears threatening to spill. "KD," JJ repeats, hands on her arms now. "C'mon, baby, talk to me."

She clears her throat, forcing a smile, failing. "You, um..." She licks her lips, trying to collect herself. "You have no idea how much I want to do with you," she says in a hushed breath. His throat wobbles. "And it hurts that I can't."

He gets it. He doesn't mind. It's Kat. "It's okay."

"So you keep saying, but it's not fair. That I can't," she says again.

"I know." He won't pretend it is.

He knows that Kat would hang the stars and steal the moon for the people she cares about, he knows that. And the fact that she likes him too is enough for him, he never expected anything more anyway, not with what happened. He never would have dared.

"It's just not the right time," she goes on. "For you and for me, we've got too much going on. It's not fair."

JJ doesn't say anything, but he thinks he agrees. He doesn't think of himself, but of her, and he knows what she means. He watches as her thoughts get out of her reach.

"Promise me," she asks, terrified. "Promise me that this won't ruin anything. Promise you'll still be my friend."

Does she need to ask? "I'll be anything you want me to be."

She gives him a stern look. "JJ."

"I mean it," he assures. "Anything. Say the word, I'll do it, I swear."

Kat can't help but laugh a little, sniffling. "That sounds a bit kinky."

He blinks, holding back a laugh. "Seriously, right after you reject me?"

She holds up a hand to her mouth, giggling a little hysterically. "I'm sorry."

He starts chuckling harder too, doubling over, and soon enough the whole room is filled with nothing but laughter. It doesn't have to be more, even if JJ knows he'll wait for her to get better so he can love her properly.

For now, JJ was perfectly content with loving the statue in his museum. 

Author's Note: Merry Christmas you guys <33

Editor's Note: I've never heard silence quite this loud