"Your him"

Fuck.

I freeze. I mean what can I say?
I can't deny it.
She knows now.
No back passes.

If I had the power of time I would probably turn it back right now.

"Why didn't you tell me it was you?" She pushes, putting her hands on her hips.

I turn on my heel starting to walk about to Leo's house as she follows behind me.

"Because it doesn't matter anymore." I say.

She grunts. "Yes it does. Whatever life I wrote for a WHOLE MONTH that I had, I think that matters!"

Leo's house wasn't far, just a few blocks down. Yet right now it feels ages away.
Unfortunately we can't run from problems that follow us.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" She exclaimed grabbing my arm, pulling me back.

I stop to look at her. My heart drops as she stares at me trying to remember who I was, but at the same time knowing everything that had happened.

"What happened in that month, Everton. What happened between us?" She asks me with a hard look.

I sigh, running my face overy hands. "You should know, you wrote it all."

"Is it true?" She whispers.

I nod.

She takes a breath. Her eyes flicker to the ground then back up to me.
She starts to continue to walk to Leo's house.

"Esma it was in the past, you have Leo now, your true match." I say calmly.

I follow after her as she walks faster. A thousand things are probably running through her mind at the moment.

When we reached Leo's house she unlocks the door with his spare key.

"Esma." I call.

She stops, concidering whether to shut the door.

I get to the porch steps, her back is facing me.

"Why is this affecting you so much? Your with Leo-" I start.

She snaps her head around to face me. "Because for the past two weeks I've been hung up on this mystery guy called Everton. Something inside me wanted to know. Leo is great, he's just my type. But then I met you and I wanted to find out more. And I did. And now I'm back to square one. Either the desire arrow didn't work or you didn't shoot it because I can't stop thinking about you." She breathes.

What?

Am I hearing all of this correctly?

"You only just met me." I point out.

She gives me a disappointing look. "No you idiot. I knew you for a whole month. You pissed me off, you kissed me, we flirted, we argued, you met my parents, I kicked a door down." She frowns at that last bit.

"I may not remember. But it was true and it was written like it was yesterday." She yells.

I still don't understand why she's so caught up on it when she should be only thinking about Leo.
Maybe I should have shot the arrow.

"I'm scared I still have those feeling, stupid." She calls me.

My heart pounds. She still has feelings for me?

"And I don't know what to do." She whispers.

I stare at her shocked as she slowly breathes out and shuts the door.

I don't move.
I want to run it and tell her to choose me. But that's not how it works.

I should have told her to burn that diary.

But then I'm glad she didn't.

~~~~

It's been another week since I've last seen Esma.

I'm trying to avoid her. I need her to focus on her relationship with Leo. Not me.

We could get in so much trouble if I messed with the rules.

I still can't open my folder with my match. With everything that happened with Esma, I can't do it yet.

I don't know what to do.

I spend most of my days on the job, finding two people bringing them together.

Its the only thing keeping me busy and my mind off her.

I thought about visiting one of my mates I haven't seen in a while, but I decided agaisnt it. I really don't want to see anyone right now.

I sound and feel like freaking Bella from Twighlight in the third movie.

See? I told you I've been watching pointless human films.

~~~

In the last week of the month, I've seen Esma and Leo a few times now.

She was very quiet around me, only spoke when she needed to.
She was nothing like her chatty self.

Well around me at least.

Once when Esma was back in the human world, Leo bumped into me.
I asked him how they were going.

"We are doing really well." He had said smiling as he was walking back to his house.

"Somedays I catch her daydreaming, not being present. Like shes stuck in this thinking mode, then she acts all strange afterwards like she's not telling me something." He mentions.

I told him it was probably nothing.

That's all I can tell him. I don't want to interfere in a Cupids relationship.

"It's starting to get on my nerves, though." He said, running his hand through his hair. I could tell he was a bit stressed out.

"She will tell you when she's ready, I guess." I had told him.

He agreed with me, patting me on the back before carrying on with his day.

When I've bumped into Esma alone, she seemed very wary around me. Like she was still trying to figure me out.

She was shy. Her eyes widened when she spotted me. And when I talk to her she sometimes turns her head sideways to avoid looking me in the eyes.

I'm not sure if it was because the admitted that she might have feelings for me still, or because it left things really awkardly for the both of us.

Today when I was walking to visit my father, I saw her in the lift. Her eyes were tired, and a bit pink.
She almost looked like she had been crying.
I run to the lift to put my hand on the door to stop it from closing.

She looks up at me then breaks eye contact, looking at the floor.

"Are you okay?" I ask her concerned.

"Leo and I had an argument." She tells me straight up.

"Oh." I say. "That's normal, it will be okay." I assure her.

"'Maybe." She shakes her head.
She presses a button on the lift.

"He's getting suspicious. Catches me thinking and wants to know what I'm hiding." She continues.

"What are you hiding?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"I can't keep that month a secret, Everton. Partners aren't ment to keep secrets from each other."

I nod, understanding. I don't like being in the middle of it, knowing what she is hiding.

"I'm scared he will get hurt, break up with me. I'm scared I will ruin your friendship with him if he knows." She breathes.

The lift makes a small noise, opening its doors to the transportation pods.

"He's your match. No matter what he won't break up with you. Or hate you." I reassure her.

She smiles softly at me.

"Do you mind dropping me home?"

I nod at her as we alk out the lift over to the pods.

Once we were in the pod, I typed in her home location. Nevi lights up saying hello to each of us.

"What do I do, Everton?" She asks me, looking out side the pod at the view.

"Just tell him. He will understand." I say.

She sighs. "There's another problem though."

"What's that?"

"I don't think that Leo is my match."

I chuckle at her. "What are you talking about?"

She turns around to face me, her face is dead serious. Making me a little bit concerned.

"On a computer we are compatible. Hobbies, values, some likes and dislikes, what we want in our future, what we look for in a partner. That's all right don't get me wrong." She tells me.

I frown at her, listening.
She's probably just hurt after their fight. Saying things she doesn't mean.

"But a computer can't measure Love. That's a feeling. You can only feel it."

I put the pieces together. "And your not in love with him yet? It takes a bit of time, you know?"

She sighs. "I don't think I can fall in love with him. It's not that type of love I feel for him."

I stare at her. "The computer system is never wrong."

I've never known it to be wrong.

She takes a step closer to me. "But what is it is? What if your mother was right? That its flawed."

"You wrote about that too." I raised my eyebrows.

She shrugs. "Seems like I didn't want to miss out anything."

The pod lands outside her house.

She looks out at her small apartment before turning back to me. "Promise you'll think about it? It's.. A feeling." She says.

As much as I want to tell her that she's wrong, I nod anyway.

She gives me a small smile. "Thank you for dropping me home."

"Your welcome." I return a small smile.

She steps down onto the lawn, walking back to her house, unlocking it then going I side.

Immediately I know what to do for the rest of my day. I type in the address and the pod lifts up off the ground.

What if she is right?

No.

The system isn't wrong. It's found partners for centuries.
And they have all fallen in love and lived a happy life together. Why would that change now?

Apart of me hopes it's not because of me. If Cupids find out people can fall in love with their match on their own then we would have no job. No purpose in being here.

So it can't be.

What if it is?

Then our whole lives will change. What would be our purpose if humans don't need us?
Stop them from heartbreak of the people before their match? 

I shake my head trying not to think about it. Instead I focus on getting to my mother's house.

She will have answers. She's probably had the same questions as me.

While I'm there I may as well ask her what she was doing in my father's office.

Once I reach her house, I step out the pod, walking over to knock on the door. I've seen she has planted more plants in her front yard then last time I came.
It looks quite nice.

I wait a few seconds until I hear her footsteps getting louder. I wonder if she is dong okay.

She unlocks the door, pulling it wide open to meet my gaze. Her eyes widen in happiness as she sees me. She wears cargo pants and a plain white top.

I notice it was the same top in the old photo I had of her. She kept it all theses years. She's thin, so I'm not surprised that she still fits into it.

Lillian- Eroleith is also quite surprised to see me on her door stop. She gives me a smile.

"What do I owe this pleasure?" She says.

"I want to talk about the system." I say quietly.

This topic caught her interest as she tilts her head at me.
She leaves the door open as she walks instead her house. I follow after her shutting the door.

"What would you like to know." She says, walking over to the oven, pulling out freshly cooked biscuits.

They smell divine. She puts them on the rack to cool down then walks towards me, motioning me to the chair to sit.

I sit down and she sits I front of me like last time I was here.

It was unusual seeing her as my mother. I guess I knew her when she was way younger.

"Truthfully. I want to know your theory about the cupid system being flawed."

She raises her eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"

"It's Emsa."