It was a lot harder than you might think to find you brother in a college you've only been at for a day and a bit.

He wasn't lingering out in the corridor as I had half expected. I then went to check outside, and after a thorough combing of the grounds I had to admit that he wasn't there either. I tried the rec room, even though I knew he wouldn't be there; it's far too noisy to take a phone call in. Now, I didn't know where else to check.

I headed towards the stairwell again, to check his and Finn's room on the floor below, when I heard a sniffle.

I spun around, my ears alert and listening. I stood patiently for a few seconds or so, and then heard it again. A tiny sniffle coming from the door opposite. I tiptoed cautiously over and pressed my ear up close to the door. When I heard the third sniffle I knew that I was in the right place.

I yanked at the handle, but it was locked of course. He didn't want anyone barging in on him. However, once the handle stopped rattling I realised that the sniffles had abruptly stopped. I sighed. "It's me, Rosie. Let me in."

Slowly, the door swung open. Owen stood on the other side, his neat hair unusually ruffled, his eyes red and puffy, his left hand clutched in a death grip around his phone. I took his arm gently. "Come on. Let's go for a walk."

As expected, he wrenched his arm away, snot running from his nose. He shook his head wildly before slamming the door closed again, barely avoiding my toe.

I sighed. I mean, why should he open up to me? No doubt he only opened the door in the first place because he heard the name 'Rosie'. He barely even knew me - or thought he did. What he needed now was the people he trusted, and I knew I wasn't included in that group. However, I did have a fair idea of who was.

***

"Open up!" Harriet yelled, banging on the door so loudly I was sure half the college could hear her. Fiona stood next to me, incessantly chewing at her nail, so much so that she was now biting into flesh. Gently, I removed her hand from near her mouth. She looked at me with wild eyes, expressing her concern for Owen. She gave a small, grateful smile.

At times like this I almost wanted to shove the two of their heads together and force them to lock lips. They were perfect for each other, and deep down, Fiona knew that. He's one of her best friends, but I was sure a part of her wished it was more. It's just the rest of her that was totally obsessed with Nathan.

"Do I need to grab a hammer and pound the door down myself? Because you know I will do it!" Harriet shouted, pressing her full body weight against the door. And despite her fierce manner, she had not a pick on her. Although I did think we should take her threats seriously; there was a mad glint in her bright blue eyes.

Finn reached out to grab her arm. "Come on," he said softly. "He wants to be alone, with whatever bad news he's got. Just leave him." However, Harriet continued staring at the door, as if somehow that would make it open.

"Owen Parker, get your ass out here right now! Or am I forced to wait out here for you all bloody night?" She screeched, and I held my hands over my ears, wincing a little. A torrent of swear words I had no idea even existed started flowing from her mouth as she kicked at the door, and I couldn't help but be slightly impressed at this member of the Geek Squad who unlike the others didn't seem like a geek.

"Get. Your." She began, punctuating each word with a ferocious kick to the door, which rattled alarmingly. "F-" But before she had time to finish, the door creaked open. Owen stood in the door frame uncomfortably, but looking slightly better than the first time I saw him. His eyes were even redder, if possible, and there was raw emotion all over his face. Grief.

"Are you alright?" Fiona asked anxiously, launching herself straight into his arms, burying her head in his shoulder. It seemed pretty obvious to me that he was far from alright, but people tend to ask that question as a reflex when they see that something's wrong. "We're all so worried about you! You've been shut up in that little room for hours!"

Owen leant forward slightly into her embrace, his fingers lightly brushing the back of neck and the strands of her dark hair. He looked bewildered, as if he couldn't quite believe Fiona had her arms around him. Then his face crumpled again as it was clear the gesture is not meant romantically, but in pity and anxiousness. His fingers skimmed the surface of her skin before being pulled back down to his side. The movements were done quickly, and without huge attention drawn to them. Unless you have been closely studying him in the past few moments, you wouldn't have noticed a thing. A subtle glance around the group showed me that Harriet was the only one to have seen, as the other two look too relieved about his finally leaving the room to be scrutinising him.

"I had some... Bad news." Fiona's grip instantly tightened on him, as if a good hug will make him feel better again. Her fingers weave into his, squeezing them. This time he immediately knew she was trying to comfort him, and the ghost of a smile played around his lips. He took a deep, rattling breath, and it all came out in the space of four seconds: "My sister has been hit by a car."

     Finn gasped dramatically, like we were in a TV programme, Fiona's face went white, and Harriet's hand flew up to her mouth. Julia was visibly shaken, whispering to herself, "nearly 1.3 million die in road crashes each year, on average 3237 deaths per day. An additional 20-50 million are injured or disabled. Oh," she said, raising her tone. "Do tell me she's one of the 20-50 million and not the poor 1.3 million!"

     He shook his head, tears leaking from his eyes. "She's dead," he croaked. "I'll never see her again." As the others gathered round for a group hug, Julia still reciting facts to herself, I couldn't help the small, shaky smile on my face. Because he would see me again, and in fact he was doing so right now. I'd give anything to spare his grief and tell him. But if I did, Juliet might find out and take me off the case. And I needed to see my brother, to do one final thing for him. Make his dream come true.

     "Why the-" swear word that made my ears burn applied here "- are you smiling?" Harriet demanded. "Are you insane? The Grim Reaper herself?"

     I expected Fiona to come to my rescue, as she so often did. Her lips opened to speak in defence of me but for once someone else beat her to it. "Plenty of people laugh or smile when they receive bad news," Julia informed us, and for once I was glad of her geeky mannerism in which she tended to recite facts. "Researchers say that the key is our brain is trying to compensate. 'People may be restoring emotional equilibrium with these expressions,' said Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon, lead author of work to be published in the journal Psychological Science. 'They seem to take place when people are overwhelmed with strong positive emotions, and people who do this seem to recover better from those strong emotions.'" She paused. "That was a direct quote from the newspaper article I heard about it. It's very fascinating, actually. I like Oriana Aragon's explanation. Anyway," she finished, noticing even Owen had broken out of his trance for a moment to stare at her. "Continue on."

     I had no idea what any of that meant, and I had a feeling Harriet didn't either, but I was grateful to her and she seemed to have made Harriet shut up - at least for the time being.

"I just feel so bad for not being there," he said as everybody aws.

"It wasn't your fault," Fiona reassured him, her lips leaning a mere few centimetres away from his as they're still crushed up in a group hug, which I was the only one that wasn't part of it. As Owen stared at them, I felt pretty proud of myself for convincing her to wear my pale pink lipgloss that morning. It took every inch of willpower to stop me from shouting, "KISS DA GIRL!"

But that would just be totally and utterly humiliating. Not just for me. So I kept my lips tightly closed.

"I just didn't think my sister could be so foolish, even under the influence of alcohol," he continued. "I can't help wondering, what if it was... Suicide?"

For the first time I addressed my words to Owen. "Believe me, it wasn't suicide." Five sets of eyes turn to me, each thinking I was only saying this to make him feel better. Because how could I know anything about my own death?! "I planned on having a long and happy life, to die age ninety with my children squeezing my hand, my grandkids looking at me fearfully, tucked up in my own bed, waiting to join my husband who had died a week beforehand." This was the best thing my mind could imagine - having a large family, growing old and dying of heartbreak instead of some weird disease. Or of course a car accident. Is only then that I realised I had used the word 'I' instead of 'she'. "And I'm sure she felt the same." I covered up quickly, settling the queer looks I was getting.

"Well, you're not dead yet, so you should have said plan instead of 'planned'," Julia corrected me, even though her statement was completely wrong.

"She was having a great life," I said, taking care with my words now. "Like you said, she was a party girl, always having fun. She had amazing friends she regrets leaving behind, and she couldn't wait to go to college here. It wasn't suicide. It was a tragedy. Unplanned. Even the best car driver couldn't have stopped it. She was being stupid, so bloody well stupid. She ran right out in front of that car." My voice cracked. "If she could turn back time she would wipe that moment from existence. She would give anything to prevent it from happening." I couldn't continue, my voice getting quieter even as I finish. Owen looks grateful, and even Julia didn't question all the information I relayed about the accident. After all, none of them had any reason to suspect that I was his sister.

"That was really nice," he said eventually. "A perfect tribute to her." Green gloop started running down his nose, and Fiona whipped a tissue out of her back pocket and wiped it off for him as he gave her a half hearted smile.

"Are you going back for the funeral?" Finn asked. He nodded; to be honest, I'd be a little annoyed, to say the least, if he wasn't.

     "My parents are going to pick me up a little later," he answered. "I'll be away a few days, maybe more, but I will be back soon. They don't want to keep me away from my studies for too long."

     The group hug finally broke up, having been all squished up beside each other for several minutes. Finn and Owen go down to their room, as he had to pack. Nobody really felt in the mood for a movie anymore, so we all head back to our rooms.

     "It's awful, isn't it?" Fiona finally said, breaking the silence. "For someone to die so young. I feel so, so sorry for her. But I bet she's up in heaven dancing about with the angels now. She's probably one herself."

     And although I forced myself to nod slowly along, I couldn't help thinking, she wasn't with the angels. She was standing right in front of you. 

Hey guys! Emotional chapter, I know. Did you like the little Fiona-Owen moment? I'm really building up Harriet and Julia's personality now. In fact, I've added a little more to chapter four, in the scene where Rosie meets Fiona's friends if you want to read it, but its not majorly important.  Anyway, I'm heading back to school soon so I have a mountain of homework to do before Monday! I'll try to update twice a week whenever I go back, but I can't make any promises. So here's something to keep your mind ticking before the next update. I really need a ship name for Fiona and Owen. My best attempt so far has been Fionen, so I'll see what you guys come up with.

Zoe xxx