Wow, a faster than usual update! I'm feeling great, motivated and I freaking love this chapter!!! I've missed writing so much, this felt amazing to complete.

Lucy

Overwhelming pain. My head pounded loudly with each thump of my heart and breathing felt like something I was forcing myself to do as sharp pains stabbed me with each inhale and exhale; although admittedly the drugs that were beginning to wear off kept a lot of the pain at bay.  Made me wonder what it would feel like without the drugs.

I groaned when I was able to pry my eyes open, the pain at the bright light surrounding me making me shut my heavy lids again.  I heard someone scramble to turn them off. Relief flooded my system when I opened them again, the lights now off.

"Lucy..." a low whimper from beside me drew my attention. Levy?

I slowly turned my head to the side and there she was, standing at my bedside with teary eyes and completely distraught.  Tears began to leak from my own eyes as I laid eyes on my best friend.

"Levy!" I croaked and she nearly leaped onto me as she knelt down and grasped my hand tightly. She started to cry harder and held our clasped hands to her forehead.  My arm felt like lead and I was pretty sure she was supporting its weight on her own.

"I told you not to get yourself in trouble, Lucy!" She sobbed. With a pang I remembered her passing farewell at the office the first day of my mission. I slightly squeezed her hand.  It was beginning to bother me how weak I felt right now.

"I'm sorry Lev... I didn't think it would turn out like this," my voice came out soft and raspy from disuse.  I wonder how long I had been out. She peeked up at me but doesn't say anything. I don't either, as neither of us are willing to shatter the silence. She releases my hand slowly, suddenly standing and pulling out a tissue to wipe off her face and she sniffles.

"How long have I been here?" I finally ask her.

She throws away the tissue and looks at me. "A few weeks. They had you under for the first few weeks, it was just a matter of when you would wake up in the next week." She gestured to a vase of flowers. "Mavis left these for you."

Oh, so that explains why I felt so weak: muscle atrophy.  I sighed to myself as I realized that meant I'd have to undergo physical therapy.  However, my eyebrows furrowed, at the Director's odd behavior, my mind saving my other worries for this one. "Mavis came?"

Levy nodded before replying, "She feels responsible for you Lu. After your last case..." She stops and clears her throat. "Mavis is going to put you on leave as soon as you're recovered."

"She can't!" I cry with a cough. 

"Lucy you're not in any condition to continue as a field agent," she sighs. "You need time to recover yourself completely." She eyed me and I knew what she silently spoke.  She didn't mean just a physical recovery.

"I have to go through psych evaluation don't I?" My stomach twists. Psychological evaluation was hard, even for people with a strong psyche. Levy simply nodded her head.

I cover my eyes with my arm. "I'm not giving up this case." I mumbled.

"Mavis isn't either. But she isn't sure you can handle it anymore." Levy said with a shake of her head.  My heart stopped at the words. What?

"I'll be involved no matter how Mavis plays her cards." I looked at Levy with tired eyes. "There is nothing I can do to avoid this."

"She's going to try. Mavis has lost a lot to Jude. Many people have," Levy walks towards the door. "Eventually Mavis will explain it to you. But for now...focus on healing yourself." She opens the door and leaves quietly aside from one last sniffle.  Was this really happening?  Was I really going to be taken off the case I fought so hard to be apart of?

I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts and my mind immediately raced with thoughts of Natsu.  I felt my face flush as I recalled our last conversation and encounter.

That was dangerously close... I thought.  I opened my eyes again and gazed at the ceiling blankly, listening to the noises from the machines around me and the noises trickling in from my closed door.  I tried to distract my mind from focusing on the pulsating pain as the drugs continued to wear off, but the only other dominating thought was seeing Natsu. Of course, I couldn't do that. Not on my own, anyway; I've been a helpless mess too many times. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes again.

Something about this time didn't only feel different, but it was different. Not just because my injuries where substantially more extensive, but because I was more than just physically injured. I brought my hand up--with a bit of effort--and touched the loose strands of my hair that was resting on my chest. It had been a while since I'd had my hair loose like this for more than a single night.

"Your hair is so pretty!"

I groaned at the memory and scrunched my eyes tighter.

"You shouldn't be in a place like this. Where's your mommy?"

I just should have taken her.

"She's inside. The man usually doesn't make mommy come visit, but she said today was a special day!"

It should have ended differently.

"Put the gun down! Put the gun down, now!"

"Make me, you bitch."

"Mommy!"

I could have saved them... I thought to myself in anguish. Drug lords had a tendency to be ruthless--any hardened criminal did. I had this guy profiled so well I knew how he ate his meat, I knew whether he poured the milk first or not, hell, I even knew how he needed to clean his utensils twice before using them. There hadn't been a thing about him I didn't know. But that isn't what I missed in that case. I hadn't expected an opium addicted mother to bring her child in the day of apprehension. I had planned on finishing his case documents for court.

Instead I had to fill out a case report on two homicides. My target eluded capture, even with my backup units nearby. Everything had fallen apart almost instantaneously.

I shook my head to try and rid myself of the memory and willed my brain to think of something else, anything else.  I hadn't been quick on my feet. I hadn't been prepared. I haven't been prepared for anything lately. I was probably performing worse than I did in the Police Academy, I was sloppy at best. Just shut up already! I pleaded with myself.

Fuck.  Mavis is right, I don't think I can handle this anymore... I opened my eyes, slightly startled, at the sound of the door opening and turned my head to see who it was.  I relaxed when I saw that it was just Natsu.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he pulls a chair up beside my bed and sits down.

"You didn't, not really.  I was just lost in thought," I mumble in monotone as I look him over, soaking in his presence.

"Oh," he leans back in his chair and he looks down to his side, causing his grown out hair to brush over his eyebrow and almost into his eye. "Well I thought I'd stop by before the nurse makes her routine checks..."

"It's good to actually hear your voice again," I turn towards him and grasp my blankets around myself tighter. His eyes shift to the area I was moving the blanket over.

"Its good to see you too. H-" he hesitates as he seems to second guess himself, "how are you feeling?"

"Better than I did back there." I force a small smile. "How about you?"

He forces a small smile as well. "Same." His smile fades into a look of confusion. "Well, I don't remember much of what happened... the doctor said the memory loss is just a symptom of my concussion though."

I feel my heart twist as I realize he probably doesn't recall our last encounter at all. "What do you remember?" I asked almost tentatively.  I didn't know if I wanted to hear his answer or not.

"I remember you being taken and that Gray and Juvia are traitors," his voice is quiet and he seems to be straining himself. "I remember you screaming."

I place my hand over his. "You don't have to push yourself to remember." He says nothing and turns his hand over to hold my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. I hesitate a moment and then reach up and brush some of his hair from his face. "It's strange to see you like this."

"You think?" He looks at me a little lost and desperate at the same time and my heart breaks.

"It is, yes. But it isn't really bad or anything... but you probably don't look as unkempt as me at least." I smile jokingly and attempt to sit up, trying to adjust my hair.

He makes a small breathy noise reminiscent of a laugh and then his face falls before he makes me lay back down. "To be honest I thought we were goners."

"Yeah... I was terrified." I admitted as I reached for his hand.

He doesn't say anything for a moment and then he squeezes my hand. "I thought I wasn't gonna get the chance to tell you I love you."

"What?"

He looks at me directly, and his features soften. "I love you," he repeats. Heat rises to my cheeks and I feel a smile working it's way onto my lips.

"Are you sure you're really recovering, you must have hit your head pretty hard," I laugh softly as I rub his cheek with my hand. He rolls his eyes.

"Damn it, Luce. I was trying to be sentimental," he grins.

"You don't seem like the cheesy and sentimental type," I raise an eyebrow.

"How about you?" He questions. "How do you feel, about me?"

My eyes meet his and my thumb that had previously been running itself over his cheek was now tracing the outline of his lip.

"I feel like you're a great partner, and that I wouldn't dream of working with anyone else," he's eyes drift towards my lips and he leans closer to me as I speak.

"That's not what I meant, Lucy."

"I love you too," I whisper and in an instant the space between us finally ceased and despite the pain I was in, it felt good to finally kiss him. For a moment the world melted away and it was as if we were the only two people in existence. When we finally separated Natsu leaned his forehead against mine and sighed.

"I should head back to my room before the nurses make their rounds," he starts to stand from his chair but I grab his arm.

"Please don't go," I plead.

"Luce, I have to," he frowns as he looks at the door.

"Just stay with me tonight?" My begging continues. Finally he sighs and looks at me.

"Alright, scoot over," he helps me scoot over before climbing in, careful to avoid all my tubes and wires.  Once he settles in he looks over at me, reaching up and brushing loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're beautiful," he locks eyes with me. "You're so damn beautiful. I've wanted to tell that for so long." My face flushes and he grins. "It's good to see I can still get a rise out of you," he whispers and then wraps his arms around me, gingerly pulling me close to him.  With my thoughts finally quiet, the only noises filtering in as I fell back to sleep were the brief whispering of nurses, the beeps of the machines and Natsu's even breathing.