Folder and small white packet in hand, Chakra could barely keep herself from stomping down the residential corridor towards Dr. McCoy's quarters.

Fuming, she could only wonder about the kind of mood the doctor would be in, or whether or not she should pick up religion to collect insurance against what, she was sure her foster mother would call atrocious luck. Bad luck that she met the man during physical exams, bad luck that some unknown force had put her under his thumb for an entire week and now- Now she was taking him medicine in bed! In the midst of her tempestuous thinking, it struck her that she had all most missed the door on her left that matched the number Nurse Chapel had scribbled down.

Taking one step back, she double-checked the number on the door against the one on paper, steeling herself with a calming breath. She rapped lightly on the door. A few moments passed without a response. She tapped the door with her knuckles twice.

"Whattaya want?" a muffled groan came from the other side of the door.

She took another deep breath before responding, "Dr. McCoy, It's Lt. Q'eil. Nurse Chapel sent me."

A few moments passed, but before she opened her mouth to try again, the door slid open, revealing a very frazzled Dr. McCoy with disheveled hair, clutching a standard Starfleet coverlet around himself. "Damnit," he mumbled, turning away from her. "Come in. What did she send you for?"

Chakra obediently stepped inside the room. "Excuse me, sir, but Nurse Chapel said she would let you know of my arrival."

"Yea," he replied gruffly, slumping onto his bed. "But she wasn't so kind as to explain why."

"There are a few papers that nee-"

"Just plop 'em on my desk then," he growled and curled up into his blanket on the bed, turning his back on her. "You don't need to bug me over something like that. Jesus."

Chakra cleared her throat, trying to control her frustration. "And she wanted me to bring you some vitamin powder to keep you from falling ill after the tremendous amount of stress you've been under."

A grunt was the only reply he afforded, and after a few moments, she decided that a retreat was in order. With an aggravated sigh she dropped the papers and packet on the desk opposite of the bed and turned to leave.

"Put it in some tea."

She paused in front of the door. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

He shuffled under the coverlet but didn't turn over to face her. "I said if you put it in some peach tea, I'll take the damn poison."

She sauntered back to the desk and picked up the packet, "Very well, Doctor, I'll be back from the cafeteria momentarily."

"The door will be open," was the muffled reply.

The trip to the cafeteria a floor down and back probably totaled six minutes, but when she reentered the room, Dr. McCoy began to berate her about how even the simplest of tasks taking her too long to complete, and she was half-tempted to dump the tea on his head. Instead, she handed it to him and took a step back, so she was at least arm's length, In case he further tempted her to cause him bodily harm. Sniffing at the cup, he scrunched his nose.

"It is poison, isn't it?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Doctor." She replied as he narrowed his eyes and took a sip.

"Jesus! It tastes disgusting! It's got to be poison!" he pushed the cup away snarling.

The last of her patience crackled through her nerves. "For crying out loud!" she grabbed the cup from his hand; "you are acting less than half your age! It is a supplement that is meant to keep you from getting ill, that's all!"

She took a swallow of the cup's contents, and while the taste was slightly metallic from the medicine, it wasn't at all as bad as the doctor let on. She thrust the cup back at him.

"There, it is safe to drink, as you can see. Now I don't want to hear another word about it. Drink."

He sat with the cup loosely in his hand, staring between her and it with his mouth slightly agape.

"You just-"

"Doctor, if you do not take that tonic this moment, I will not be responsible for the consequences."

His face flushed, he quickly downed the contents of the cup and then glared at her.

"Thank you," she said curtly and removed the offending cup from him to place in the recycling unit by the desk.

"Threatening a senior officer is a fire-able offense, you know!"

"I'd hardly call that a threat, Doctor." she replied; "Now I believe you need rest, and I will leave you to it." She started to move towards the door. "I wish you well."

"Wait, Lt. Q'eil."

The soft tone of his voice caused her to pause, and she turned.

"There was something I wanted to say to you before you go, and no doubt Nurse Chapel added a sedative to that powder to help me sleep, so I need to say it before I get groggy."

She glanced between him and the door, confident an exit was still the best course.

"Please," he said, looking earnestly at her from the bed. "Pull up a chair."

She stifled a groan and grabbed the chair from the desk, placing it beside the bed. Sitting, she cleared her throat and put her hands in her lap. "Yes, Doctor?"

He seemed to be rolling thoughts around in his head, planning the next thing he would say very, very carefully. "I know what you must think of me.... That I'm just some cantankerous fool who can't look at the glass half-full."

"Doctor, please-"

"You can just call me McCoy, or something a little less formal. It's okay."

"I really don't-"

"Listen. About yesterday—no--" he shook his head. "This whole week..."

He extended his right hand out from under the coverlet to her. "Good work."

She took his hand tentatively, and then shook it, "Um, thank you..... McCoy"

She realized it must have taken all his effort to put forth such a sign of gratitude, and she forced herself to smile at him. Then, to her infinite surprise, the smile was actually returned, and then his eyelids began to close. It took her a moment to realize her hand was still in his. She'd hate to have this one moment of peace between them ruined by the consequences of the invasion of his privacy. She had to break the physical contact before he lost consciousness, or his mind would open up from as an effect of the induced sleep, and she'd be sucked into his free-flowing drugged consciousness. She tried to slip her hand out of his, but his grip tightened. Startled, she looked up at his face, but the lines in his features had softened from sleep overtaking him.

No! No! No! Let go, I don't want to do this!

She tried harder to squeeze her hand from his vice of a grip but found she was being overcome with the feeling of drowsiness. Whether it was her own state of mind or the sedative's effect on his, she couldn't quite tell. As reality quickly and quietly faded, the last thought that she could be sure was her own was: it's going to be really awkward when we wake up. Then her mind succumbed to sleep and the barrage of imagery and feelings that formed the memories that made up the entity known as Leonard H. McCoy

-------------------------------------

A small yellow house with a wraparound porch nestled in tall weepy trees

How many times had he scraped up his knees as a child his mother oh god his mother

A woman in a dress with long dark hair

He missed her so much so much what had he ever done wrong that she would that she would no no don't think that

A school yard, he sits alone on the swing

Kids didn't understand him he didn't understand them why can't I have friends

An injured puppy, brown and white with sad eyes

He did his best his best with sticks and strings seeing him run again so happy so happy

A man's stern face
why can't we keep him I saved him he's happy happy don't make him leave too

Three teenage boys and him riding around in a truck with big wheels

We used to run pranks up and down the county I had friends friends we would cause a ruckus we were troublemakers

A juvenile detention cell

It was only for two days but his dad yelled and yelled and yelled I need to decide what to do with my life what to do life going nowhere

A girl with curly dirty-blonde hair and large brown eyes

She's the prettiest thing in the world the prettiest what can I do to have her what would make her love me

An old brick building, looks like a college, surrounded by students

Doctor I will become a doctor always be able to help I can help people will she love me if I have money doctors make good money saving lives I want to be loved do what's right

Graduation day, his father is beaming at him, she has the ring he gave her on her finger

I made it I did it my father is proud she loves me he loves me would my mother be proud he respects me now I am a doctor I will help people I will go into internal medicine yes we'll settle down yes

The girl has blossomed into a young woman, stomach swollen with child

I am going to be a father a father oh wow am I ready what will it be like will it like me oh I love her she loves me Dr. and Mrs. McCoy and baby make three

He is holding the pink-clad baby in his arms, and she is sleeping

She is the most beautiful beautiful thing name her Joanna yes Joanna will be lovely loved I have a family I'm a dad a father my life is wonderful

His wife is crying, but her face is angry, brown eyes glaring at him

Where did it go wrong why is it wrong what did I do how how could you do this only two short years why wasn't I enough what about Joanna oh god oh god make it stop please I love you I don't understand why there was supposed to be love I love you why oh god why do you hate me not my baby please judge I will take care do what's right care for Joanna no no no no

A bar, he's slumped over a table

She has everything I have nothing nothing left how long have I been here more whiskey whiskey fixes everything nowhere to go I have nothing nothing that bitch I have nothing she never loved me, god, I love you why no more no more I have to run nowhere to run I need to run this is too much god this is too much

A young, blonde male cadet teases him as they walk across the quad at the academy

I don't have to take that from you ever since I met you we met when I was so lost you helped me I love you like a brother you're such an asshole we have so much fun Starfleet was the right choice for god's sake Jim another girl how do you do it how can you do it don't you care about anything no you care too much I will always watch out for you kid thank god shit I'm late for the exam you're an asshole Jim

A face, blurry, oval and pale... The images focuses clearly, soft eyelashes under arched brows fall on high cheekbones, following down the straight-edge nose to soft, subtle lips parted as she sleeps

"What are you doing?"

Her eyes snapped open as she was jerked awake from the volume of the combined mental and spoken question. Had she fallen asleep? Where was she, she was.... Her eyes met the blue ones staring intently at her.

Oh, God.

She jumped back in horror from the doctor and rushed to the door. She couldn't stop the flushing in her face or the tears brimming in her eyes. She thought she heard him call her name, her first name, but she couldn't stop. Her feet moved on their own, and they wanted far, far away from this man, and what just happened. She couldn't face this, it was too much. It was just all too much; she should've left before when she had the chance! She broke into a run down the corridor as sobs threatened to shake her usually composed frame.

----------------------------

A/N:

Writing stream of consciousness can be a lot of fun, hopefully switching up the fonts makes it make sense. His thoughts and emotions are layered, so there's a lot of repetition/reinforcement. I hope you're enjoying the story so far-- please vote if you are! :D

~Maegan