Eric Maxwell

Next, I wake up with mum cry while hugging me. I have back to the same white sterile room like five years ago when I had heart bypass surgery. My mind still hard to process anything. My parents are wearing protective masks and gowns as measures to make sure that they do not bring in bacteria and infections. I also smell antiseptic scent lingering around them.

Does that mean the operation is successful? I grab off oxygen mask that lead me to cough nonstop. Dad immediately put the mask again and hastily press the red button on the wall. Not long after the group of doctors come in. Dad and Mum are waiting outside.

Like usual, the doctor touch and press here and there, disregard my feeling yet ask me a lot of questions. I want to ask them but doesn't have any opportunity. As usual, I just act docile, letting them do their work without any interference.

When I can open my eyes again, seeing all the important people around me burst in tears already answered all my questions. The doctor called my parents in. Mum still latched on Dad body, waiting the doctor give their analysis.

"Congratulations, up until now the heart seems compatible with him." The head doctor tells my parents.

"If that's so, why he thrashed when removed the oxygen mask." Mum asks.

"That was because he first time inhaling the oxygen on his own after transplanted. We will guide him bit by bit inhaling the oxygen." The doctor explains with a satisfying smile.

"We will keep monitoring him closely for two weeks to see the real result. If there no any compilation or rejection sign, he can discharged after three days and need through some rehabilitation program afterward." The head doctor gives a brief explanation to my parents.

Hopefully not, I pray inwardly. I don't want to feel that throbbing pain anymore. It's a pain in the ass to wait another donor. And, I am not the only person in waiting list. I only had a little luck as the person himself dedicated his heart to me. I don't mind the rough therapy or strict diet as long I have more than fifty percent to live as a normal person.

I wished to free my family member from this sadness even in brief of time. Although, they were having perfect bodies but still suffered because me. This guiltiness only can wash away when they can smile wholeheartedly.

Two weeks later, I already discharged from the hospital and my parents decide moved to suburb area. The purer the air, the better for my heart. They care me like a fragile baby. Brother inherited our old house and planned to live there with her wife to be.

According to a doctor, I can start my little adventure now. The heart was showing a great compatibility with me. I just need to avoid any stress during this healing process. Doctor not a god, so they can't guarantee how long I can alive or when the heart shows the sign of rejection. They only halted the death process for a while. But, their effort really means a lot to me and myself. At least my current condition better than previously.

After the surgery, I had regular follow up visit with the doctor and a few pills to take. The doctor often did the blood and urine test on me to check the level of antirejection medicine in my body system. There also a few more tests I need to go through during this phase.

I also compulsory to attend cardiac rehabilitation. During cardiac rehab, I learnt about how to live more heat-hearty lifestyle and exercise safely to strengthen the muscles and heart. Aside that, the counseling session is important too. The counseling really helps me overcome the feeling of sadness and guilt.

Honestly, I can avoid from thinking about the heart in my chest belong to a dead person. It was like I had robbed him from die with perfect set of body. Doctor said these though is normal for all transplant recipients. That's why they suggested us to take counseling.

The counselling session help me a lot in overcoming the negative feeling, brightening my emotion as well strengthening my inner self. The feeling stood on your feet make me felt awesome and amazing. Beginning with light exercises and short distant marathon gave a new life experience.

With a supportive family in my back, I felt motivated in attending every medical checkup without any slack. Year changed to another year, my health also improved a lot and I can do strenuous work without any worry. The family let me be free little by little until I grasped full freedom.

Here, I was travelling around the world, saving every amazing scenery in my white canvas. You think I may leeched family money by this traveling, right? Nope. Never. The sickness already made me shoulder a big guilty. So, there is no way I would burden them with this little selfishness.

I used my own money to travel. The money I got from selling my own painting. It had been three years since I made a money by selling the artwork. My name quite renowned as an artisan but I never make public appearances. I used 'Shadow. E" as my nickname.

Although, the gallery held the big function together with another big name, I still kept the mysterious identity. The customer and sponsor respect this condition and didn't push around. The mysterious also added a unique charm in every arts I did. Admittedly, staying in the dark also inviting a few problems like counterfeit and fake reclaim from fake person.

Fortunately, the middle organization working with me always acted before the thing escalates and trouble our customer and mainly the one who really love the arts. Irresponsible people always try finding the shortcut in making money without thinking the consequence of their action toward involved parties.

Back to my life story, after a year, it could say I almost filled all the pending to do list. Including getting the boyfriend. But we haven't officially been told to outsider since he still in the closet. Honestly, keeping this good news quite disappointed in my mind.

Frank Thompson that is his name. We met when I involve with charity function in collecting money for people who having the same disease like me. His family was the big sponsor in the program and he caught me sketched in sketchbook.

From random stranger, we became a friend and later the relation escalated to lover but his condition made me dumfounded. First, I think he only wanted to flirt with me since he was also in the young master category. But, Frank has proven his sincerity and would do anything aside out from the closet.

He told me, his family is a strict believer obviously will rejected homosexual issue and he is only a male out of three siblings. He also a proud son and successful businessman that quite decorated business magazine. Along a few new generation top ten names in business world.

With passing time, I accepted the term and his business social term. Although by logic seem a little out to date due majority region in United States same-sex marriage is legal in all states. But this man still afraid to coming out.

Aside from that everything is perfect. He was a romantic, funny and caring man that everyone wished to have. I kept our dating as a secret from my family too and they haven't smell this fishy issue because I have rented my own apartment. So, the secret in close lid.

Frank always find me first whenever he was flying back from business matter. He was busy and I understand it very well since I also rarely in the same place for a long time. In summarizing, we only had small time together to nurture the love.

When tasting the love myself, I felt like he didn't really work like what they showed in soap opera drama or romance film. Or the one I had always fantasized during my illness. I did not feel the same warmth like what my parents show too. Maybe our love still in an earlier stage, thus we haven't reached that level yet.

Lately, Frank a slightly different from his normal self. When we were meeting, there was a trace of alcohol and quick short fuse even over a small matter. When I pressed the issued he will leave and off the hand phone for quite a time.

Maybe our love will became to end. Maybe the love we have only grown from curious feeling. Or maybe he had bored with my condition. I knew other than trust and love, sex also a main core to solid one relation. That's what I recalled from a few love stories I read.

That is the main weaknesses in our relationship, mainly coming from my own self. I mean up to now, I still the same virgin male. Our intimate session only involves around kissing or jerk in quick ways. The first time we tried to have intercourse, a funny thing happened. In that unfortunate night, when we were in heat moment, my body suddenly convulse and had a false alarm of heart attack again.

Frank's face pale like white sheet and like a coward he left me when the paramedic arrived. I felt a moment of abandoned at that time. My family also pressed me about what actually happening. I think they already knew since the paramedic found with the briefs already on my knees, the bottle of lube and condom beside me.

I blurry remember one of these paramedic snickered while lifting me onto the stretcher. Damn homophobic people. And damn my coward boyfriend. After the full medical checkup, the doctor told only having a false alarm symptom due excited feeling I had that time.

Fortunately, I had put the shameful aside since the doctor had been treating me for the ages. He also knew my sexuality reference. Just his laughter still stings my male pride. I was discharged the next morning, found a piece a apologize note along a banquet of flower. I also got almost hundred miscalls and thirty message but I only ignore the prick.

A week later, he appeared with disheveled appearance. He kept apologizing and gave his reason. He fears that night incident will leak to the public and tarnish his reputation. So, his reputation more important than me. Admittedly, I got lonely when he not around and also shed tear when I think our relationship is finished.

After countless bows and kneels session, noted the aggravation, I finally forgave him. After that, we drew a clear line to avoid from public's nose and foolish quarrelsome. Since then, we never had a big argument again.

Back to present, I currently in Hungary, walking around the peaceful Balaton Lake and save a beautiful scene in my sketchbook. I had been here for one week and this will be my last place to visit. After almost one day in here, I back to the hotel room. The pain in my legs is killing me.

I take a quick bathed and put my legs in cold ice water. The pain slowly faded off. After feeling some relief, I took the denim jacket because my stomach already gave a mild hungry alarm. My choice tonight is eating at a restaurant near to Balaton Lake to savor the night view. The night still busy with townsfolks mainly the family, dating couple as well the tourist filled the street.

I found one great restaurant near the lake. The view is very pretty and soothing with star filling the sky chest. I sip a warm honey lemon with goulash. This is the second times I was here. When first time I was here, I had already fallen in love with his reserved nature and rich culture.

After finished, the simple dinner, I walked around here. Absorbing all the feeling I felt only to transfer it to my canvas later. The laughter, giggling and various languages swirling around. Some couples sharing their affection without reserved, some were shy and not to mention a quarrelling couple around the corner.

Suddenly, I bump into a man when passing one corner. It could consider my fault because I did not pay attention where I go. I lifted my sight and meet the most handsome face. He stares me with menacing eyes but deep inside I feel ethereal with gray colored orbs.

His whole body as if triggered something inside me, bringing out a tingling sensation in my spine. My heart is beating like I had sudden attack. But the heartbeat seems different from the time I was in illness or the time I accepted Frank as my lover. Racing like what had always pictured in a romance book.

Thump thump thump

You gotta be kidding me, right? Wake up Eric. Don't salivated over some hot guy. The rational side scream inside my mind. I take a long breath in order to calm the crazy beating heart and the right word for the man in front me.

"Hi, Hello, sorry for bumping into you." Damn! Why I sound like a woman trying to get the attention.

"Next time make sure to place your sight in the correct way. If not, then donate it another person who can use it more efficiently." All the enthralling feeling I felt a moment ago flew out from the window when this man spoke.

"What the hell with you? It is not hundred percent my fault. And, if you really used these dead eyes of you correctly, you can avoid from bumping me too." Out of nowhere I retort his criticism without any fear. The racing heart had been burnt with annoying feeling.

"Oh, a typical thug in proper man clothes. Whatever, you just wasting my time." He walked with intentionally brushed my shoulder.

"I hope you would be bitten by a wolf pack, arrogant lone wolf." I bark in his direction. The said man turn around again with a super demonic glare. Without further delay, I dashed back to my hotel.

His eyes looked menacing with an unreadable emotion swirling in it. Some part of me thinks these emotions not good for myself. But in these eyes, I found a melancholy stare caused my heart ten times skipping in a weird way.

Damn, what's wrong with me? Why have I been so concern with a stranger? I swear I never meet him before although sometime I tagged along with my parents and their business banquet. The moment I reached the hotel room, my lung almost cut off from the oxygen. I coughed rapidly and collapse after close the door, laying on the floor while inhale the oxygen like fish out of the water.

Next, I wake up around 04:30 in the morning with bleary man. After a while, my mind got clear and the last night scene appeared in my mind. The man with dark attire, grayish cold eyes, rude word and yet really handsome. A type make women as well men kneeling just to get into the same bed together. But sorry not my taste due that type only causes an endless heartbreaking later. Argh, whatever that man means nothing and we will never meet again after this.

I decided to take a bath and packing all my stuff since my flight in another few hours. I missed Frank and my family and sister in law will pop a baby anytime from now. I double check around the room, fearing I had forgot something.

After everything settles, I took the last glance, close the door and walked to receptionist to check out. I choose savoring and absorbing the peaceful scenery here as this may last traveling before I assume a secretary position in my father office.

My brother's wife had officially resigned from the position a month ago. The position stayed vacant as she nominate me to take the position. My family urged me to accept without giving me any room for argument. I had no choice except from accepting it since they really think I had enveloped lazy bum habit.

I'd chosen to sleep when the flight takes off while music blasting in my ears. I've not urged to talk with the stranger due last night bad experience. Blergh, which is the worst experience ever. Stop thinking about that man already. He merely a random people I met in wrong timing.

I hope Frank is waiting me at home. I missed him because the last we met three weeks ago. Last I heard he needed to fly over some oriental countries for expanding his business. That is contradict with the news I got from my brother. He said Frank's company having some issue related to their financing. Argh, whatever it's not like I am doubting him or loving his money.

My hope turned sour as I passed the living room in my apartment. The space has been just like how I left before going to Hungary. With frustration, I dialed my brother and screaming when he informed they were gathered at the hospital because his wife in middle popping their child.

Ignoring the jetlag effect, I drive to the hospital. The same hospital I was admitted when got false alarm. I wipe off the shame inside me as I rushed inside. The nurse warned me do not run around the corridor. I get into the third floor, spotting my family outside labor room.

"Eric, how are you son." Mom immediately hugs me, followed by dad.

"I am fine and seem like ready to take the job seriously now." I give a goofing smile over my sister. My brother currently inside the room accompanying his wife.

We talked about some trivial matter as my sister pressed me about life partner. She has some doubt about me and Frank but as respecting my boyfriend wished I denied each time she interrogated me about him. Woman instinct such a terrifying existence.

About forty minutes later, the nurse rolled out the unconscious sister-in-law. We gathered around Michael and fight to hold the small blue bundle in his hand. Everyone notice Michael's wet eyes and his happiness.

"So, what should we call this little hero?" I kissed the tiny fingers. The baby scent assaults my nose, sending some calmness.

"Jackson Miguel." Michael announces the little hero name.

"Okay, Jack, you will become an uncle's little hero." The baby yawn after a while and I hand it over to my brother. My parents will temporarily move to our old house due no one can babysit my sister in law and her son.

A/N

I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Thank you for your support and happy weekend.