RUSSEL HENDRICKS

"Hey, did you get hurt?" Maxim's voice sound faraway.

"Oops sorry. I am not hurt." I shook my head staring at the shattered glass. Why do I feel uneasy?

"Sir, please forgive me." A waitress quickly say her sorry.

"Never mind and please include the compensation fee into my bill." I dismissed the waitress.

"Did you have a cold war with him again?" Maxim careful probing me.

"No... but he is kind of changing way too much from his usual self." I frowned. The strangeness I detected from him was not just a feeling.

"Changing?"

"Yes, in the way I don't like it."

"Have you confronted him? You know keeping close with Rachel is not a good idea too. She is a two faces woman. No one can predict what she would do next." Maxim remind me.

"I have promised Nate to take care his sister's wellbeing."

"And, you have hurt someone else to protect the one that not even related to yourself. Please wake up from the past, Russel. Rachel is a grown up adult by now. She is not under your responsibility." I knew it but promise still a promise.

"But..."

"But what? I do not know either you ever notice that your feeling have shifted. You heart slowly leans towards a new man in your life. You began to see him as a man not just replacement."

"Replacement? What the hell you're talking about?"

"I already knew about Nate has donated his heart to save Eric and that was a reason why you married him."

"How?"

"I have my own way to dig up the information, Russel. And, because I detected a mutual feeling in there, I stopped myself from chasing you." Maxim's eyes turned dull for a second.

"...." My mouth open and close but no word coming out.

"You don't need to elaborate it if you still unsure about your own heart. However, do not let another party waiting too long until his heart goes numb. And, Eric is quite scary once he throws his tantrum." He chuckled. A little jealousy arouses in my heart upon hearing his word.

"Eric won't expecting anything high..."

"Up to you, bro. Just don't run crying to me when he disappeared." I shrugged my shoulder hearing his ridicule assumption.

We parted when reached each other room. I took out the phone and dialled Eric but get no answer. Therefore, I called home and Jamie picks the call.

"Mr. Eric not at home, Sir. He informed will be staying overnight at his parent's house." Jamie told me.

"Oh, okay. If he coming back, please ask him to return the call soon." I leave a message.

On the next day, around noon I get the call from Eric, his voice a little hoarse and lifeless. There also many pauses in between his reply. As if he has no mood to speak with me. Don't tell me he was taking alcohol.

Unfortunately, I cannot rushing back as I please since I was involved in a big project. And, afford to lose this project over personal matters. Maybe I am over worrying for nothing. To pacify the feeling, every day I would check him over the call. His tone back to normal but the unwillingness hint still in his replied.

What is going on? Did Rachel disturb him? No, Rachel has acknowledged our relation. She has become slightly mature lately. So, what exactly bothers him? When I checked with other people, they always gave a positive answer about Eric.

There is no use to think now. Maybe I just called on wrong timing. The contract when smooth and I finally can meet Eric face to face. Maxim drive me back home as we get back one day in advance.

"Hey Claudia, if Eric not feeling well?" I asked the old maid.

"He is fine sir but..."

"But what?" I asked impatiently.

"Mr. Eric always confined himself in the studio house and seem a little tired. He also rarely speaks lately." Claudia look concern.

"Okay thanks." I climb up the stairs. Planning to wait in the bedroom and giving him a little surprise.

My concentration on the business magazine busted when hearing the creaking sound from the opening door. Eric stepped in like a walking corpse. A dark circles around his eyes.

"Why you are so late?" My question has startling him. He turns around but intentionally avoid my eyes.

Out of concern, I walked to his rigid body, "What make you stay there too late?" I rub my thumb around his dark circle eyes. His eyes also a bit red.

"I was arranging some schedules for other people." He replied still avoiding my eyes.

"Really?" He slapped my hand when I cupped his face.

"What is wrong? Are you not feeling well? Have you been taking the meds properly?" I asked him. From the closer inspection his skin a little paler than usual.

"I'm okay... sorry I need to take bathe first." A flash of resentment appeared in his eyes. He put down the briefcase on the sofa and passed me without saying anything else. Perhaps the tiredness has made him moody.

The strangeness continues to appear one by one. A few times, he refused my kissed and intimate touched. Giving excuses like he was exhausted. Maybe that is the truth.

On the next morning, Eric left house earlier than me. When we meet at the office his eyes devoid from any softness. The usually bright and clear eyes turned gloomy.

"Why are you keeping avoiding me?" I hugged him when we are in the pantry. He startled a little before calming down.

"Nothing... I'm just a little exhausted." I put my hand on his forehead, checking his temperature. And, yes his temperature a slightly rising from normal.

"If you're tired, please take a proper rest. Work can be done later."

"That will double up my task. Don't worry, since you're back I don't need to be anyone substitute anymore?"

I frown, "Substitute for whom?" His face revealed a strange emotion.

"Because the unpredictable weather many staffs encountered with fever, so I need to substitute for these important figures."

"No one can order you to sub somebody else except me. You are exclusively secretary only for me and there are a few more idling staffs in the secretarial department to fill up the holes. I will seek an explanation from Ruben later." I was in anger knowing they have violated the unwritten rules.

"No need to punish anyone as I was volunteered to help them." Something really off about him lately. He is not like his usual self. As if he did everything in half-hearted.

In the past, he never behaved like this even when he contracted by high fever. I found nothing in his dull eyes. The bright light in his eyes gone. He becomes lifeless. What is happening when I gone? There must be something big happened to have him drastically changed.

"Let's go to see the doctor." I grab his hand. He silently follows me without any resistance.

The doctor told us he was having a little fever and building stresses. Fortunately, nothing wrong with his heart. I gave a short notice to office telling them Eric not feeling well and driving him back to home. He slept after taking medicine.

After ensuring him in a deep sleep, I returned to the office. A mountain of paperwork waiting me to be settled. I'm concentrating on the work until a knock on the door breaking my attention.

"Hey boss, where is Eric?" Maxim gets into the office casually.

"At home... he has a slight fever." I push the laptop aside, asking him about Eric, "Hey, have Eric meet stranger when I was away?"

"Nope... I think. Why?"

"Ah never mind."

"I think he got hard pressure from your mother."

"What?"

"I overheard your mother nagged and advised him to behave around you. She might afraid you will choose another man in your life. Eric stood there like statue accepting all words from your dear mother." Maxim smirks.

"What about my father?"

"He is okay and your granddad also fond with him."

"What? Where they have met?"

"I saw them drinking happily in the restaurant."

"Don't be joking, please."

"Sorry, from the observation of that day, I saw they were casually chatting like a friend. Or maybe Eric is unware the old man is your granddad."

"Have the old man telling him about Nate." I sighed.

"Maybe not. Eric was smiling all the time." After that, we continue with business matter.

I visited grandfather's house after office hour over. The house when I spent my childhood life. A head steward greeted and led me to the grandfather's office. He is same like him in my memory. Crazily with antics products and painting. After, grandmother passed away, grandfather always travelling around the world and wasting his money on irrelevant stuffs.

"Have a seat." Grandfather pointed to an empty chair.

"Thanks." I took the seat.

"When the last time, you're here?"

"Before marrying Nate."

"What's your purpose seeing this old man?" After a big fought, our relationship have a big gap. I never back to this house and we always meet outside his private property.

"What information you have told Eric?"

"Is that the meaning of this sudden visiting?" He eyed me. "Why are you so concern about a mere secretary? Unless he meant something else to you." A cunning people always stays same no matter how many years has passed.

"I warned you to not meddle in my life again. Don't see him no matter what you want to speak. I forbid you." I give him a stern warned.

"You'd changed a lot, grandson. I do not know who have changed you. The person might be your late husband or maybe current husband. Either way, I'm really glad seeing you finally able to resume a life as a normal person."

"How you knew we have married?" I am shocked by his word.

"You think I have no more power after you forcefully stripping me off from my empire? You are wrong. Without the company I still can do whatever I want." He chuckled. "A little dig enough to reveal my genius grandson have secretly married somebody."

"Then what? Do you want to repeat the last threat?" Sternly, I glare at him. The old man faintly smiles.

"You have a right to doubt me judging from past case. All this time, I cannot escape from guilt or erase the past. I was so narrow-minded back then almost to ruin my precious grandson. With passing years, when people starting to accept same gender love, my perception about it also changed." He paused.

"From then I knew how stupid I was in the past. Regretting, I hadn't any opportunity to ask forgiveness from Nathan. He'd gone before I realized my mistake. Therefore, I decided to swim in this guilty forever. I'd lost my chance to get forgiveness from both of you." I saw a sincerity in his words.

"Why now? You're too late." I speak mostly to myself.

"Yes, I know. That's why I never appear in front you. But..."

"But what?" I tilted my head to see his face again.

"I like your current husband. I don't know what triggered you to have suddenly married him. I don't care if you did it to smear a dirt on our face. However, I warned you, do not try to hurt him. If that happen, I'll strip you away from the power." I lost any word to refute. How can the old homophobic suddenly at my husband side.

He threated is real. How he is so fond towards Eric? "How you meet him?"

"We shared some interest and meet in one of the exhibitions held in this town. He profound in the area had attracted me. And, James told me, he saw Eric with you in one engagement party. He described you as a jealousy lion watching over his mate." Grandfather's laughter filled the room. A heat crawling around my face.

"Nonsense." I reluctantly replied.

"Because I have too much time, I decided to dig about him. Gladly, you'd chosen a right person to stand beside you. James was letting you get the tender because him too."

"...." I played with my fingers, losing all the word I have stored before arrived here.

"Please bring and introduce him to our family. If you agree I wanted to do some welcome party to him too."

"No need and I have no plan to introduce him to this sick family." I dusted my pants, ready to leave the place.

"If that's so, just officially introduce him to me alone."

"Have no time." Before I close the door, I heard grandfather's word.

"I love him as much as I loved you, grandson." The door closed.

My heart is beating uncontrollably. Finally, I got the acceptance I yearned from when I was with Nathan. The happiness seeping into me like some light in a dark tunnel. Unfortunately, Nathan was not here to hear it. Thus, the acceptance had lost its meaning in this case.

The old man's words full with loopholes. If he really changed, at least he would go to Nathan's grave to ask forgiveness. I thinks the one who changed his thought is Eric instead. How could a mere man could change the old man stubbornness?

Impossible! As one of his grandsons I know how stubborn the old man. He will not be swayed by someone he just met out of nowhere. I'd known him better than my others cousin understanding. I'd spent half of my life with him.

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"Hey, have the fever cool down?" I sit on the bed, putting my hand on his forehead.

"I thinks a little better. Can I take the bath?" Looks he always finds some excuse avoiding me.

"No, it is already 1'clock in the morning." I await his reaction. "Wait, I will wipe your body." I took the clean pyjamas and a towel.

When I returned, I spotted him fiddled with the smartphone. A faint smile appeared on his pallid lips. Uneasy feeling assaults my heart. Who the person he have chatted with? Recently, it was so hard to see him smile. No matter how hard I raked my mind, I found nothing. His mind also always wandering to another place.

"Sorry, I took too much time." I put the bowl of water and a clean small size towel. Soaking it into the water, I dry it a little before begin wiping his upper body. His heating breath fanning my face when I wiped around his stomach. A red shade crawling around his flawless skin except operation scarred. Admittedly, his skin is a little soft and hairless than normal men.

"Sorry I unable to help settle the document on your desk." A doubt flash in his dull eyes.

" Don't worry. Actually, I met grandfather after leaving the office. That was why I'm late." I told him. "If we have time, he wants to meet you."

"Does he know about us?" He asked me.

"Yes, he does. He can get any information with just a small phone call. That's scary part of him."

"You and he seem really similar." Eric shakes his head.

"Not really." I paused and staring his rosy cheeks. "Eric, did I make any mistake again?"

"Argh? What?" He tenses a little confirming my theory.

"You look down. Like something bad bothering you." I caress his cheek. "May you share it with me?"

"Maybe I was under weather." He frowned averting the eye contact. "Russel, will you divorce me someday?"

I cupped his face, "Eric, I won't let you go." I said.

"Why? Aren't our marriage will be off by the time my brother settled the debt? That was our initial agreement." He felt him quivering in my palm.

"Yes, but I have no reason to let you go too. You are an excellent as a husband and secretary. A perfect package to me." I ensure him. Maybe the weak state caused his mind goes wild.

"I'm not." He bites his lips. "Have you ever loved somebody enough to sell your life to Satan?"

His eyes meet my eyes. As if searching the truth in there. "You need to rest." I put the towel in the bowl and bring it to the bathroom.

My mind in puzzles with his sudden question. The question hit the bull eyes. I did love someone enough to sell my soul to Satan if that can revive that person. However, a reality will not let it happen. No matter how much you are in the abyss, the Satan will not appear. You will be left hopeless, forever. Only sadness and sorrow will be your best companion.

Eric already wrapped himself in a thick comforter when I get back to bed. I lay beside him, hearing a small cry coming from the comforter. Hugging the thick comforter, I noticed Eric is shaking.

"Russel." A small hoarse voice calling me.

"Hmm." I replied him.

"Please divorce me." I stop my hand from caressing the thick bundle.

"What?" I asked in shock. Thinking that my ears have wrongly heard it.

"Please divorce me once you found your soulmate. It is not used to extend this marriage if we can't love each other. We need to stop being the faked couple." He said.

"What are you blabbering about?" What if he really leaving me? Why he suddenly brings the issue?

"This is not blabbering. I knew who have occupied your heart. So that you can't accept anyone else except the person. You're only using me as a replacement." He sobbed become loud. My body turned rigid.

"Eric, calm down. You may be in delusion because the fever." I try to stop his nonsense.

"Nathan Scott." He revealed his tears stained face, staring straight into my eyes. "Who is he in your life?"

"Stop it, Eric. You have no right to peek into my past." My tone gets higher than I expected. The mood totally broken when Nate's name passed his lips. He has no right to speak about Nathan. Without his help, the one will be buried might be him instead.

I leave the room when the surrounding becomes unbearable. Deciding to sleep in the guest room. Unfortunately, I can't take any sleep at all. My mind wondered how he got the name. Who has the big mouth to gossip about my past? Could it be Maxim or Kevin?

Damn! The thing I have stored away from Eric have come to light. His hypothesis not so far from the truth. He may have guessed everything with a single question. On the next morning, Eric leaves the house earlier than me. This is how he protests against me.

When we at the office, he acted like we are total stranger. No. He acted professionally like employer and employee should be. He treated me like how he treated his colleague or someone above his position. He clearly don't want to get near me without a valid reason.

A/N

Sorry for quite long delayed to update. I've some minor problem after holiday and quite busy. I hope that this chapter can satisfy you. Although I am failing to do a double update. See you on the next update.