Chapter 2

Eric Maxwell

"You're so hilarious lil bro." Michael bends his because the hard laughter. The other family members also follow him.

"You know that is sore topic to my part and here still taunted on immobile body of mine. You're deliberately rubbed salts onto that wound. Thank you very much my caring big brother." I sulked.

"Welcome, lil bro. next time I will make sure to wake you up with the same sentence again." He still in heavy laughter. Some nurses pass outside the room stop to see what is really happen inside.

"I dare you." I rolled my eyes.

After that mum start lecturing me with stern look where I have no room for argument or defend myself. Sister busily answered the called, maybe from her current boyfriend that I have yet to meet. Apparently, my brother and parents approved the man. Michael will marry in this autumn. His wife to be was his secretary. See, that was a huge benefit after I had rejected his earlier arrangement. He should thank me too instead.

"Enough, enough, my baby need to rest." Mum shouts from the corner sofa.

"Mum, I ain't a baby. I was already twenty-one." I protest her.

"Even if you have a grandchild, you're still my baby boy." Mum countered causes other grimaces after her firm declaration.

"Hmm, mum, dad, bro and sis, you don't need to accompany me tonight and onward. This is not the first time I admitted here. Take a time for yourself." I eyed them one by one.

"No, one of us must accompany you here." Father said sternly.

"But..." I try to object but dad stern eye stopped me.

"That is final." Dad silent me.

"How long this time?" In defeat I ask the most hateful question. None sane people like to stay at the hospital all the time.

"Unfortunately, not a week. This time your blood test contained viruses. So, you need to stay here until we get the donator that suitable to you." I rolled my eyes after hear the ambiguous answer.

"What? How long? One week? Two months or forever I need to stay here." Yeah, I could sense that this time severed than before. I had difficulty in breathing when I put off the oxygen mask. Look like I was in the end stage of heart failure. The throbbing pain in the heart also repeating small interval per minutes.

I don't need anyone to remind me anymore because the doctor already reminding me since I hit eighteen years old. My heart already entering the end stage. That was the reason I wanted to be alone at least for one day, sorting all thought and keep the smiling face.

"Don't worry son, the donator will appear soon." Dad grab me into his warm hugs as he minding the wires around me.

"I hope so... if not that is okay too because I have you all in my last breath." My voice croaked at the end while my lips maintain the smile. The fake smile.

"Let's pray the miracle would happen soon." Mum caresses my hair. Her eyes moist cause me to avert my eyes in a second we meet.

Later on, it was Amelia who accompanies me. Day by day, I had lost the hope to get a heart transplant. Maybe this is the end of my life. I just didn't speak out my mind to my parents or siblings because I don't want to show that my mind already in breakdown phase. Precisely, I had given up on this matter.

The oxygen mask or tube had been my best friend. I hate seeing the family members eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness. All the negative feelings return in full throttle. In blink an eye, it had been six months I was here. I take the last paper at the hospital with the dean show his great sympathize. Dad also had been my representative to take the degree. I have befriended with kids and adult in the same floor.

"Son, I have good news." Dad speaks in cheer with a happiness shone in his eyes.

"Was I discharge now?" I ask with hopeful.

"No yet son but soon you can live like a normal person. We have found the suitable donor. "Dad engulfs me in his hug. I felt the warm droplet fell on my shoulder.

"What? Really? "Hot water is streaming down my cheeks. Was I still in dreaming world? God, please let me a chance to be a normal person.

"Yes, baby... our waiting is fruiter... finally." Dad wipes off the tears when himself still haven't managed to stop same tears.

"When is the operation? What happens to the donor? Can I meet a donor's family member?"" I already know the half answer for this because I only got the transplant after the donor death.

"Unfortunately, the donor family didn't wish to meet us and want to remain as a confidentiality. Using the health attorney power that you have given to me, I have signed the operation documents and the operation schedule on this incoming Saturday" Mother also hiccup while hugging dad and caress my cheek.

"I felt sorry for donor's family and I might a rude person for being happy upon their sorrow." My heart tightening the thought but really, I had waited too long for this day happening.

"Don't be like that son. According to the doctor, that was the donor own wish to donate his heart to you. I don't know how he got information regarding you anyway." Dad assured. Weird I haven't meet any stranger aside my family or patients here.

"If possible, I wanted to meet them one day to express my gratitude in person." I said in a low voice while my mind still possessing the information.

"How your car anyway?" I change the topic.

"Total damage... if I know I won't lend it to that bastard." Dad fumed. Who is not angry when his favorite car reduces to scrap metal? The car that held many memories of our family growing up.

"We can't revert the time anymore. You shall buy the new one. The car has been already in ancient category." I grinned. "Time to buy another one, dad."

"It might ancient car in your eyes but that old car held many memories in our family history." He sulked like kids.

"Hmm, yeah." I smile softly to calm his graveness.

"Cheer up, son." He said after a long pause. I almost fall into laughter because it was him who in depress situation.

"Same to you dad." I said to him.

Dad peels two oranges and an apple as we chatted about various topics. Truthfully, I kind of guilty for taking their time. They should have continued their daily routine since I am an adult now. But those people never saw me as an adult for the rest of my life, I think.

I rest due the medication began swaying my mind. I hope I could dream about some handsome men, at least he can console this piteous man in the dream. Argh my head had gone crazy again. Not long after I sink into deep sleep again.

I wake up in the midnight, seeing that my father slept on the couch. I rather suffer alone than seeing them take a share of my suffering. Hot tears are streaming down my face. It is bullshit when I said, I already used with my condition. I am not. I am not like I had portrayed myself in front my family, I only wanted to assure them everything is fine. I am only breaking from my pretended in midnight, when I was alone, where nobody would see the wrecked side of me.

The next day I have a briefing from the doctor about the procedure of the heart transplant. According to the doctor, the donor suffered brain death after involve in a car accident a few days ago. His intermediate family has given their consent to remove the life support from the donor one day before operation date.

Roughly explanations are the procedure consist three consecutive surgeries. First, they need to harvest the heart organ from the donor. The removed organ is transported on ice to keep them alive until they can be implanted in me.

The second surgery involves removing the defect heart from mine. Removing the damaged heart may be very easy or very difficult. In my case, cutting through the scar tissue may prolong and complicate removal of the heart because I have a bypass surgery in the past.

Lastly, the third operation is probably the easiest; the implantation of the donor heart. Today, this operation basically involves the creation of only five lines of stitches, or "anastomoses". These suture lines connect the large blood vessels entering and leaving the heart. In simple word, this is the stage when they will be implanting the new heart from the donor in me. If there are no complications, I could be release about one week after the surgery. The surgery would take time around four to six hours.

The hours that would decide either I will alive for next day or not. After that, it could be said that I need to undergo several tests and evaluations to check the compatibility between me and the donor heart. The doctors and transplant team have conducted a physical examination, order several tests, and evaluate my mental and emotional health. Sometimes, my body goes limpid because of tiredness after through some amount of test.

However, I kept myself in high motivation in repaying my family hard work and their supporting. This small test won't match the suffering I have through since I born. So, I just need to endure it in another short period.

Day by day passed in nervousness and full with anticipated. My health is also in positive chart. Then, the day comes cause the nervousness level sky rocket. The doctor advises me to stay calm, avoiding a complicated in my heart. I heed the advised due I don't want to miss this golden opportunity. Either the heart can keep me alive or not, will be another story.

Unfortunately, this is also the nerve wrecking moment, worse than taking the hardest exam. Why did I compare my life with the stupid exam? After the recovery, I would be free to do anything I desire for. First of all, I want to travel around the world, recording the best sightseeing in my white canvas.

"Stay calm, son. Our prayer will always stay with you." Mum grip my hand. I nod to acknowledge it.

"Yeah, bro, be strong." Michael put his hand on my defected heart.

"We will pray your success." Amelia kiss my forehead.

"Baby boy, please be safe." Dad caresses my hair. So, it's not bad at all being the little baby boy in my family.

That all wishes I received from a close family member. I know we only have fifty percent to success. The test wasn't holding the real values unless you have tried it yourself. My heart kept beating erratically as I almost close to the operation theatre. Mum used dad as her supporter while big bro hugs my sister. I committed their last face in my mind, using it as a motivation to stay alive.

I can't stop here after over twenty years struggling with this condition. Please give me a true freedom from now on. I have suffered enough to redeem some good too. Laying under the big spotlight, my strength shrinks. What if this is my final moment? What is I can't meet my family again? Would this heart be actual opportunity? What if the heart rejects me?

A cold sensation blankets my heart thinking a thousand possibilities could happen in this moment. I don't want my life to end here. It's so cruel to stop my time here. I don't want it. I don't want to die in this surgical room. I just need one last change to turn my life.

"Calm down, Eric. This is your chance to live like normal people." The head surgeon said to me behind his mask. "You can apply the anesthetic to him now." He orders the anesthetist.

"Keep calm, dear." A gentle voice sounds above my head as he applies the anesthesia. A soft humming softly enters my ears as my consciousness in brink of reality while the bright light also flickered in my sight.

The anesthetic gently put a mask on my face. I really want to scream out of the scare but my voice as if had been blocked. The fighting level dropped to zero same with my strength. This is a scary room. I wonder if death reaper already here or not yet. My feet already turn cold like an ice. Damn. Not long after the weak struggling, I felt a calmness slowly entered my mind as I descended to blankness.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four...three ... two..." My consciousness totally slipped off.


A/N

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance. Hope you would always stay happy, smiling through another year. Thanks for previous comments & votes. 

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