ERIC MAXWELL POV

I was thinking today may my last day. The bright sunny day, the chirping birds and the harmonious nature. It is nice to able consuming it. Unfortunately, I only can taste half of it in my whole life.

My life since youth had been restrained by family and specialist strict rule. I can't do this, I can't do that. I need to avoid this and that food. I must maintain this healthy disgusting food. Ninety percent of the tripped I done in my life was in and out hospital. My parents put me under homeschooling after I got severed attack in grade two. With no friend except the temporary friends from same circle when I was admitted to the ward. To sum up, I am living in sheltered life.

My rebellious phase a bit late compared to usual teenager's age. For the first time I fought with my parents and siblings the days they spot the university offer letter. They don't want me to be far away from them. Especially, my brother who had arranged me to be his secretary. What a bullshit!

On that day, I was like an erupted volcano, lashing out years of accumulation tensions. I had unlocked the Pandora box allowed it to withstand with their opposition party. After a few shouted, high pitched tone, begging and used the tears method, finally I won over them. The most ridiculous moved I used when I almost emptying the saving account by bought things from online website. For the first time, I bought my own clothes, briefs and shoes with several games stuffs.

Mom almost gets a heart attack when they delivered it. While dad was still keeping his cool with pale face. He scolded me because I had wasted my saving for nothing. I just replied them with a smug smile. Did I repent after that? The answer is no. oppositely, I got addicted and repeating it again to express the super bored I was. Finally, dad was the first person defeated in that debate. He allowed me taken the offer with a few conditions that I MUST comply without failed.

Without further ado, I would introduce myself. My name is Eric Maxwell, a third year student of T university, majoring in business. People called me with different names, depend what suit to their taste. I have a big brother and a big sister, I am the youngest. Oh yeah, I ain't a dutiful brother as I harbor quite deep jealousy and resentment toward them because they could everything they wished without any restraint. They had made me feel so useless and nothing special even though I had beaten them from IQs terms. But, it was nothing new since high intelligence always run in our family. On their side, they fiercely love me.

My hobby is arts but I didn't take arts course at University. I even could contemplate any arts flawless. My policy is hobby shall stay as a hobby. Why? Because you shouldn't have blend your profession with hobby that will cause a great pressure in the future. Business majoring will secure my future, that if I still alive until that time. Arts were mostly coaxing my tension, lonely and envy toward healthy peoples. A channel to disperse the negative mood. And, that only thing that my parents approved since it didn't excessive my health. I had a long list to do but got rejected the moment my parents and siblings saw it.

Wonder why I was like spoiled rich bastard or 'boochama' or like damsel in distress or Rapunzel in man version? I was born as premature newborn and was diagnosed with heart failure. My chance to survive only fifty-fifty the second I was out from my mum's tummy. Since then, I had been living in a golden cage, either at home or hospital.

Those protective guardians also banned me from playing games and watch any thriller, horror, action movie that could trigger an excited heart. Grrr.... No shopping, no any mmropg type of games. Simple word, no entertainment. Would you survive under those conditions? Oh yeah, my caring parents also banned me from sex matter as well. Meaning that I am still virgin until this moment without any single released yet. Fortunately, my libido level also lower than a normal man, I think.

My simple wish was to have true freedom. I wanted friends for laughing and do crazy thing together. I want to taste some relation with real people. I wanted to become independent, rely on my strength and own decision. I think with so much time I have in the hand, I was able surpassed any geek and nerd level. I have my own library at home, stacking with over hundreds of books.

I craved to breathing in fresh air, having a dream to set a camp in the deep woods or hike the mountain. I want to grasp all sorts of the thing I saw in the books or watched in NatGeo. Of course, none can be realized yet. Means that one day, I would definitely break out from the damn restriction. At least before my eyes decide to stay close forever. Even the simplest thing that people hate, I would like to try.

Example, to experiencing a peak hour in crowded places like public transports or any attraction places. I am sick with the car already. My parents always said public transport didn't sit well with my bad condition.

Out of this misery life, I still have some advantage in my bright side too. I become a responsible man and appreciate life better than anyone else. I despise those who attempt the suicide or suicidal in a foolish way. If you don't want to continue living just donate your remaining lifespan to me. I would take it with big and big smile. I want to live not for only a few years or the next fifty years, rather I want to be an immortal, living without any limitless. I didn't waste my time under alcohol influence and leading the super healthy life.

Leading a life as a University student was excited as hell. I could rent outside, driving myself or sometime secretly using a public transport. I got new friends, mostly from nerd class. The jock didn't dare to bully me because I was an honor student and bluntly shout my mind without fear.

Why I need to fear against the same species while I bravely face the death? Life is going pretty excitement. But yeah my parents still standby at the bay. I glad that they become slowly loosened the rule around me. Everybody will face the death, soonest or later, young or old, no any exceptional. Birthing and death ride in same rate every second, every time, and every day.

So, why I need to waste the remaining lifespan being idle and doing nothing? That is so tasteless. If that happens, without doubt I would be a walking ghost, maybe like Casper, roaming around because I have so many unfulfilling wishes. Wait, that's not a bad idea too as I could do many pranks and being naughty without getting caught. Hmm, not bad, not bad.

But as a teen full with high vigor, I choose to be human than trash. I used an opportunity living far from family as a ticket to do one by one the pending list to do. So far everything has gone so smooth, not yet facing any bumpy road. Until one day, the remaining lifespan decided to dramatically decrease without any warning.

I got the attack in the middle of the last paper for final examination. At that time, I almost want to laugh on my own misfortune. The hall becomes panicked and almost the students thank me for creating a chaos for hard subject.

The examination canceled until they redo a new set question. What of lame in getting last thank you? Anyhow, here I am with masking oxygen, laid on a white bed sheet, accompany by IVs drips and heart machine sound as music. Guess where I am? Of course in most hateful place with plain food called a hospital.

Other the medical stuff, my family also rotates their shift in accompany me. Every day, I would hear some encouragement word from different people, mostly from close friend and family member, yet I couldn't respond to them. Because the last attacks have cut me off from consciousness. In another word, I was in coma right now.

Now, I believed when some coma victim reclaimed they could heard people around them. Sorry mum, dad, big bro and big sis. I just mutely hear all your kind words plus some complaint and anger. I am not dutiful son. The moment I realized my life could expire anytime, I have hardened my resolve in fulfill all wishes. I do consult the doctor and do my best to not exhausted myself. Yet I just a mere human with lot weaknesses. I did break a few of doctor advices that had sent my ass here.

I tried my best not to do an overboard activity since I had owed too much from you but the seduction was hard to resist too. Forgive this ungrateful son of you because if this is the last moment I am with you, I want to engrave your smile and laughter as a last memento. I don't want to see any of your shed any tear, regret or blame yourself. You're the best family I cherished the most.

"Baby bro, you need to open your eyes soon. There a lot handsome doctors just transferred here. You will lose an opportunity to rope in one of them if you let the illness win." I could tell the different between his usual normal self and fake one. Don't undermine me because the current situation.

The fact I loved a man was not a secret anymore. I have come out to my family when I was fourteen. Michael, my brother caught me drooling over a doctor in training that was helping my main doctor. He was the handsome man I ever saw. Noted an aggravated praising here.

Since that moment, I realized that I was actually attracted to man more than a girl. So yeah, you could say I was a BI type. after six months, I confessed to the doctor but rejected straight away with a disgusted filling his eyes. The poor doctor in training immediately requested to transfer to another patient. What a coward man. He may have scared I would rape him or what.

Because of the heartbroken, my heart acting in the bad way that caused my parents and sister knew my little secret. They accepted and supporting me without any prejudice as well punished that innocent doctor. Their acceptance has amended my broken heart. Dad even said that his decision still same no matter what condition I was. At that time, I felt so blessed and fortunate despite my condition.

But when there a happiness, there would also have a bitterness. I hate big family gathering, mostly at the grandparents' house for both sides. The cousins and a few aunts love openly sneered on my face. Some were ordered their sons or husbands to put a good distance from me. Fearing that I would spread a gayness virus to their beloved ones. Some openly said that my illness was the Karma and punishment for having such abnormal taste. Freak and faggot were normal word throw by the so called normal cousins.

However, the visiting still compulsory, so I don't have any choice. And, swallowing their insult and fake an ignorant was every year greeting. No matter how strong you are, sometimes you will lose coolness over some insults. For the sake of my parents and sibling, I silently bottle up all the insulting words until I couldn't take it anymore resulting me fainted because the deep depression.

Since then, my parents have cut off some visiting invitation if those people haven't changed their opinion and attitude. Grandparents just turn blind toward the matter, blaming my parents as well accused them as a bad parenting. I only cried hard when Amelia, my big sis told me.

"Are you willing to give your virginity to the earthworms? Michael whisper again successfully breaking my old memories.

Oh God, I hate this cruel fate. Huhuhu my brother is right. At twenty-one, I am still virgin both soul and physical. I have never yet experienced any kiss except on the cheeks or forehead. Pity right? I have a wish to pop the cherry before I die, but no is my parents word. They say that sex is vigorous activity and my fragile body won't stand it. That was enough plummeted my spirit to have one.

"No, I want to... be a whore before die..." a coughed follows up after I muttered those words. A large hand caresses my back while another push the red button to call the doctor.

Soon the doctors immediately appeared beside me. They have pushed my brother aside and busily prick me on this and that side. A legal molest I think. But it didn't matter because needles are my best friend through the years.

The doctor is checking everything from small details to complicated details. I am so used to their methods that I barely flinched. After almost an hour they let me alone. My family again pilling in with hushed voices. I only could present them with a weak smirk.

"Thanks God! I know you can overcome it." Mum ruffle my head.

"You're so strong, Eric." Amelia, my sister wiped her watering eyes.

"I know you still unwilling to depart in a virgin state." Michael grinned.

"Stu..pid.." I retorted him

"Little man, thanks for stay alive." Dad grip my hand.

I need to prolong my life in any cost since I treasured my family so much and had several pending lists. I also had few promises and commitment to strange people without my family know. The only thing I do to share my hidden feeling with people around the world.

A/N

Sorry took forever to update this story. Hope you would enjoy it and big thanks for those who votes/comments. Love you guys.