The first snowflakes of the year were just as unpunctual as usual, a week after Christmas. With slow steps I approached the convenience store in the neighbourhood of my dorm. The city was still sleeping after having celebrated into the new year, but the not so normal person I always was, I was craving some baking.
As I arrived I noticed that the store was almost empty. The sell assistant who probably didn't sleep at all, stared into nothing. Trying to make it quick, I rushed to get the ingredients.

A boy not much taller than me was standing in front of the frozen cakes shelf. Shaking my head I walked towards him.

"Cakes taste better if you really bake them.", I stood next to him and followed his gaze towards the cakes.

"Well, putting them into the oven is not baking?"

In contrast to his cute appearance his voice was very husky which caused me to hesitate in answering right back.

"No. No that's not really baking.", I shook my head now smiling.

Instead of continuing the conversation he grabbed a chocolate cake and stomped off. Not wanting to just let him go I hastily grabbed the rest of the ingredients and rushed towards him to the checkout.

"That's rude. Just walking off.", I quietly mumbled.

"Oh, I'm.. I'm sorry.", he suddenly became very shy.

Grabbing his bag, he paid and was about to walk away when I screamed after him.

"Wait!"

Immediately he turned around, his eyebrows narrowed. A little laugh escaped my lips as I watched his perplexed reaction. However he really waited for me and even held the door open for me, acting like a gentleman.
After we found out that we had to walk into the same direction I could hear a little sigh coming from his lips, which I ignored happily with a smile.

"So who are you putting this in the oven for?", I tried to start a conversation.

"For me, obviously.", he looked at the ground.

"You're going to eat this whole cake by yourself?", I gasped.

For a second I stood still, just to see his cute irritated reaction once again. Instead of replying he just shook his head.

"Are you going to share this with your  girlfriend?"

"Oh, I hate that question.", he groaned.

Again he had managed to make me laugh.

"Me too, me too.", I agreed with him.

While we were walking I could feel his eyes on me. His almost black eyes were resting on me until I looked up. Instantly he turned his head around, which caused me to chuckle internally. For a few moments we didn't talk, however it wasn't awkward. I really enjoyed his presence simply and didn't want our walk to end.

"What's your name by the way?", he asked me.

I told him my name and he responded by saying it was a pretty name. Suddenly I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, and the sweat forming under my armpits. The cold wind was causing my eyes to tear up a little.

"And yours?", I asked him.

"Yoongi."

He stood still and I realised that we had reached the point where we had to part ways. Feeling that I was panicking at the thought of just leaving him like that, I knew I had to react immediately.

"Can I come over to eat the cake with you later, maybe? I'll bring my cake too and I'll convince you how much better a real cake tastes."

Yoongi's eyes widened and I could see that I had caught him off guard. Lightly I tilted my head, hoping for a positive answer.

"B-but you don't know where I live."

"Let's exchange numbers and you'll send me your address simply.", I grabbed my phone to hand it over to him.

With his eyes screaming his irritation at me, he took my phone and dialed his number into my contacts.

◇

It was already dark outside when my phone rang. Seeing his photo popping up I could feel my heart warming up.

Unknown number

"The cake is ready. Can I just pick you up? It's dark already."

Me

"It's okay, thank you! Let's just meet up at the park?"

Yoongi
"Park sounds dangerous!!"

"But okay"

"Let's meet there in five"

Me

"Okaydokay"

Quickly I grabbed the cake which I hadn't even tried myself yet and rushed towards the park. I hope he was able to excuse my messy hair, but those five minutes he had given me were not even close to enough for a girl to get ready.

Even from the distance I could already spot him, leaning against a streetlight. He was doing something on his phone, the light of the phone making his face more visible. In this lightning I could clearly see his soft facial structures. And his extremely pale face. It was such a contrast to his dark eyes and hair, and that attracted me towards him.

"Yoongi!", I yelled as I was crossing the street.

His head shot up, however I could clearly see his little smirk.

"Glad you're not like 10 minutes too late.", he waited for me to stand next to him before he started walking too.

"A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early."

As I was laughing I saw him rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry,", I quickly defended myself,"I'm usually not the type to make lame jokes like that."

◇

"I thought you don't do lame jokes!", he moaned as he stood up from the sofa, shaking his head.

"You don't like my jokes?", I pretended to be hurt.

It was the first week of February already and Yoongi and I had been seeing each other ever since the cake date on the 1st of January. However, we didn't really have dates. I could sense a weird tension amongst us clearly. There had been uncountable moments in which I wanted him to kiss me but he never did, leaving me desperate.

"Well, not your lame jokes.", he laughed and left into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes and sighed as I leaned my head back against the wall. Yoongi had become my huge crush and it killed me not being able to show it to him. With two plates and a cake slice on each, he came back. His sweet, proud smile made my heart heat up.

"Enjoy the cake.", he smiled sweetly before he put the first piece of cake in his mouth.

Instead of starting to eat I couldn't put my eyes off him. At first he didn't seem to notice. It was just right before he was about to finish his piece before his eyes darted over to mine.

"Is... there something on my face?", he mumbled quietly.

I shook my head.

"Okay...", he was about to pick up the last piece with his fork before he turned towards me again,"is there something you want to tell me?"

"Ask you, to be precise."

"Go ahead!", he put the last piece into his mouth.

"What do you think of me Yoongi?"

Out of sudden he started coughing. I knew this question was catching him by surprise but I just didn't want to wait any longer. I wanted to clarify what we were.

"What do you mean?", he gulped down half of his glass of water before shyly meeting my gaze again.

"Don't play dumb please, this is hard enough already!"

"Please, please don't ask me this question.", he stood up again.

"Why?"

Not giving him what he wanted, which was space, I followed him to his bedroom. As he turned around I noticed that his cheeks were red and by his shaky eyes I could tell just how nervous he was.

"You know that exactly.", defeated he let himself fall down into his bed.

"No!"

"I don't want to be in a relationship or any kind. I don't trust girls, so I shouldn't trust you."

My mouth dropped open as I watched him in shock. Soon he realised what he just had said. However, being stubborn as I always was, I walked towards his door ready to leave. He was running towards me instantly, grabbing my shoulders to spin me around.

"Wait, please don't take it personally what I just said. I just... I don't want to get hurt again! Everytime I'm hurt and not able to function, I'm sick of it! I don't want to suffer!"

"Guess what, Yoongi.", I stepped back.

"What?", he sighed and I could feel that he really was sorry.

"Me neither! But that's the risk you have to take! I can't promise you that I won't hurt you, but can you? The only promise we can give each other is to promise that we'll treat each other with respect... and with love."

Yoongi didn't say anything but just stared at me. For a few seconds which felt like an eternity we just stared at each other.

"Can you swear to me that you won't make me cry?", I asked him.

Slowly he shook his head. His eyes weren't leaving mine but I could feel how uncomfortable he was.

"So how do you expect me to promise you I won't hurt you? I don't want to hurt you, ever. But I don't want to give you false hopes. A relationship means suffering and lots of effort. But all the suffer and effort is worth it when we...", I stared at him not daring to continue.

He was looking at me irritated. I knew he wanted me to continue and listen to my words, but instead I decided to show him with actions. Bravely I stepped closer towards him. With my hands on his chest he didn't do anything against what he knew I'd do. I kissed him softly.

This had been the first time ever that I did the first kiss. Usually I was the one to be kissed first by the guys, but this time it seemed I wanted it more than him.
His lips were even softer than I had imagined them to be. Yoongi was frozen as I stepped back and I could see that he had his eyes closed.
Slowly he was coming closer which I understood as a sign that he wanted to kiss me again. With my heart beating like it had never before, I put my arms around his neck when I pulled him closer. Our lips met again and at first it was me who was confused and scared why he didn't kiss me back.
Sadly I looked at him. When I was about to ask him what he had felt, his lips were on mine again. This kiss wasn't as as soft as the other two kisses, but Yoongi kissed me more passionately.
With his hands around my waist, he was pressing me against the wall.

He didn't let me catch my breath until I pushed him a little. Finally he stepped back, giving me some space and some time to breathe. While calming down his eyes didn't leave me.

"Yoongi, you're a great kisser.", I tried to break the tension.

His facial expression softened as he stepped closer again, wrapping his arms around me and putting his face into the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry that I'm so complicated. Why are you even still with me?", he looked at me again.

"Because I want to be with you."

His expression looked pained as he sighed and put his face into the crook of my neck again.

"I was hurt so bad in my last two relationships. So I'm sorry that I'm so extra careful. I really am. You're such a sweet girl, you don't deserve this."

"Stop it!", I pushed him a little so that he was facing me, "I want to be with you. And I want to put effort into this. But I can't force you. Just tell me when you're ready."

◇

What are the ingredients for a good relationship? Trust, honesty and fights. Yoongi and I were doing baby steps, but were reaching it. People around us were getting annoyed when we assured them that we weren't girlfriend and boyfriend. 

On a sunny day in April he picked me up to go for a walk. The trees were pink and even though my allergy hit me hard, it didn't stop me from enjoying the beautiful nature.

"Are you okay?", he asked me worried.

Our fingers were intertwined which always happened naturally. Laughing I wiped a tear off my cheek.

"It's my allergy, don't worry.", I squeezed his hand lightly.

"No, I can see that you're upset. And I also know why.",he stopped walking.

Narrowing my eyebrows I stared at him irritated. The tears were caused by the millions of trees surrounding us, each tree adding its poison to my allergy.

"You want me to be your boyfriend. You want me to be the boy you can tell your parents about and the boy you can just be your true self with. But I was scared of that.",he shook his head as he was reaching for my hands again.

"Yoongi-", he caught me off.

"I trust you, you showed me that enough already. You showed me that I don't have to be scared to expose myself in front of you. Even if we'll end in a heartbreak and I'll suffer, I know that taking the risk is worth it. Because I love you. And I don't think I have loved anyone before."

Cutting him off I swung my arms around him, now crying because of my allergy and him. He was laughing nervously as he put his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

"My girlfriend.", he mumbled as he kissed my wet cheek.

◇

"Yes, I do."

Cringing, I turned around and cuddled myself into my husbands shoulder. We were watching the DVD with the videos of our wedding.

"You were crying so hard.", he teased me as he turned the volume up.

"You were crying too, so don't make fun of me."

"Well I cried in the car after the ceremony when no one saw us. A man never cries in front of other people."

I sighed and decided to just ignore his ego. The next video was our first dance as a married couple. It was clearly to be seen that I was crying once again.

"Why was I so emotional on that day? I usually don't cry!", I defended myself in front of my husband.

"You've always been sentimental.", he said in a monotone voice and I noticed that he was talking like that because he was too focused on the video.

"No.", I shook my head.

"I will always remember the time you first cried in front of me.", a grin was widely spread on his lips.

"Yoongi, it was an allergic reaction. I wasn't crying!"

With his famous gummy smile he looked down at me and put his arm around me.

"I love you, my wife."

+ so, I hope this one was okay!
thank you @AidaFuy for choosing yoongi for this chapter!!
3 chapters to go! the next chapters will be about

play date

bittersweet tragedy

teddy bear

which member can you imagine with which song?
thank you so much ♡