; february

" are you breaking up with me? ", he looked at me in disbelief.

" yes. that's why I packed everything already. ", I pointed at my full packed bags next to the door.

Tears were slowly starting to run down my cheeks as I didn't dare to look at the man in front of me. I was so sure about what I was doing, why was I feeling so guilty?
Jimin ruffled his hair as he sighed. Desperately he looked at me as he stepped closer.

" babe... five years! We've been together for five years, how can you just give up like that? I thought we would start a family soon and now... You're just running away? , he shook his head as he tried to get eye contact.

Insecurity overcame me as he grabbed my shoulders and tried to convince me to stay. But there was no way I would. His words soon didn't reach my ears anymore. His tears soon didn't affect me anymore. I was as cold as a stone, reflecting everything. Even though it hurt, I had to let him go. Our love had melted away, there was nothing to hold on anymore.

five years ago ; june

" babe... it's just five hours! Don't be so dramatic, melanie. ", my sister spun around in front of her mirror, checking her prom dress out.

" just five hours? That's five pretty little liars episodes! It's a lot! ", I sighed as I leaned back, still sitting in my Pyjama.

Looking at the clock showed me that there was only one hour left. The panic inside me rose, however it didn't reach my muscles to move. As I saw myself in the mirror I groaned, knowing there was too much work to do which I couldn't complete in those 60 minutes.

" you know that there's a free buffet, right? ", my sister turned around in her flawless make up and curled hair.

" i thought you'd knew that this was the only reason I'm coming, since you're my sister and all. "

We were sisters. We had the same mother and the same father. But still, we were worlds apart. Sometimes this caused a sense of rivalry, but sometimes it also fixed a lot of problems. For example, we never had a boy problem. Until that evening, at least.

As we had arrived, an half hour later thanks to me, people were already laughing and eating. Quickly I made my way to the buffet as my sister left to socialise with her friends. In that tight dress she wasn't able to eat anything anyway.

" wow, you eat a lot. ", a manly voice suddenly appeared behind me.

Turning around, I was faced with one of the most handsome faces I had ever seen. My eyes kept staring at his beautiful, perfectly created face. His dark brown eyes which stared into my soul, his perfectly shaped nose, his plump lips which I wondered how they'd feel on mine and his sharp jawline. As I admired him, I didn't notice that he was actually trying to start a conversation and socialise with me.

" yeah...", I felt my cheeks redden as he didn't break the gaze.

" well, can I steal you from the buffet for just a little bit and dance with you? ", he reached out his hand, gentleman like.

Putting away my plate, I put my hand in his and followed him to the dancefloor. Maybe this was better than binge watching pretty little liars. Because even though I was terrible at trying not to step on his feet, his arms around me were making me feel as alive as I never had felt before.

" so, what's your name? ", he asked me as we were slowly dancing.

" melanie. And yours ? "

" jimin. "

Immediately my heart stopped beating as I looked up at him. He was my sister's crush. Ever since 7th grade. I turned around to see my sister standing at the other end of the hall, her eyes drilling into mine.

" oh my, I'm so sorry but I have to go! ", I quickly released myself from him as I walked towards the balcony.

" where are you going? ", he was following me.

I was startled when I noticed that there was no one else on the balcony. It didn't take long until Jimin was standing right next to me.

" that was a first. ", he giggled as he looked at me.

" I'm sorry. It's just that... I know that someone else likes you and I don't think that person would like to see me with you and I don't want to hurt her? "

" is that person by chance your sister? ", his face was suddenly dangerously close.

" no? ", I tried to lie but the awkward pitch of my voice exposed me.

Again a chuckle came from his lips. He leaned against the wall, his eyes still on me. Suddenly the doors opened and slowly more people decided to come to the balcony.
Jimin startled me when he grabbed my hand out of sudden, walking through the crowd of the young adults.

" let's get the best view! ", he smiled at me as he was leading us.

We were standing right in the center, looking up at the sky. I had figured out that they had planned a firework. Behind me people were jokingly singing 'do you ever feel like a plastic bag?'

" just because your sister likes me, doesn't mean you can't. You know that right? ", he squeezed my hand lightly as the balcony was now filled with people.

" I... I don't know! ", I admitted when suddenly the sky was lit up by the fireworks.

People were cheering behind us and I hadn't noticed that I was still holding onto his hand tightly. I turned to him when I noticed that he had been looking at me the whole time. A little smile hushed over my face when suddenly those lips I had longed for were put on mine.

The bittersweet taste of his kiss made my legs feel wobbly. But all I could feel was the firework inside of me.

four years ago ; april

" Jimin! Stop it! ", I screamed as I tried to push him off me.

Laughing, he continued on tickling me until I had succeeded in pushing him off my bed. Overreacting as always, he pretended to have broken his arm. He cried out for a doctor but I, myself, had to recover first from the intensive tickle attack.

After a month of not seeing each other, my boyfriend had visited me. For almost a year we had been dating. The first months were the most difficult ones as we, or rather me, had to deal with a lot of hardships.

First, there was my sister who couldn't accept the fact that I fell in love with her crush. For about six months, she didn't even look at me. Even though my sister and I had always had our issues, after my relationship with Jimin we had reached the ultimate low which we couldn't recover from. Time by time we talked, but we both knew that things between us would never be the same.

Then there was the problem of him moving out. No begging helped since he had his mind set already. He wanted to move to the other side of the country, even though we had just started dating. I understood that university was more important, however I was deeply hurt. Most of the times it felt as if it was only me who was suffering because of it. It was always me who was laying in bed, crying because I missed his arms around me, his lips on mine and just simply his presence. I loved him more than he loved me, I just didn't know how big the difference was.

" so, have you applied already ? ", he crawled back next to me.

" Yes... Jimin I have. But I don't know if I can do it. "

" babe! There's no other option. You'll come to the same university as me. There's no discussion. "

" but, they don't even offer the courses I wanted to apply to! And besides, after graduation I wanted to travel first before going to university. "

" so go even further away from me? ", he sat up as he built a distance between us.

" but it was you who left first, Jimin! ", I desperately tried to convince him.

Jimin's eyes narrowed as he stood up. He walked over to his bags, picking out a shirt. The white shirt complimented his nice built body and I knew that every girl admired him. But luckily I was able to call this perfect man mine.

" so, are you blaming me right now? ", the tone of his voice showed me clearly that he was getting angry.

And we both hated it to fight. Obviously we fought, but we never fought like the others. In my eyes, it seemed that we both were trying our hardest not to fight. We put all our effort into not fighting too much about something. One of us always had to back off and most of the times it was me.

" i'm not blaming you! I'm not blaming anyone. But I respected your decision, you also have to respect mine! Please. ", I stood up and walked towards him.

He had crossed his arms, staring out of the window. Carefully I approached him as I put my arms around him. Slowly Jimin put his arms around me too. He pecked my lips as he tightened his grip.

" i don't know, babe. I'm not trying to force you, but if you don't come to me I don't know how much longer we can last. "

three years ago ; november

The first snow of the year had always been special to me. For me, snow meant that a time full of love and harmony was approaching. I cuddled myself into Jimin's pullover as we watched the first snowflakes of the year hit the ground. A smile hushed over his face as he looked at me.
We were in his apartment which he shared with five other guys. After a while I had stopped counting the fights we had because of those parties they threw. The most important thing was that we got back together everytime, I didn't know yet that I just had been too stupid to see the truth. I was too forgiving, which caused him not to learn from his mistakes.

" i can't wait until we have our own apartment. ", he kissed me swiftly on my cheek, before he turned around to lay down on his bed.

" me too. But right now I'm just happy that I have my boyfriend back! ", I laid down next to him.

" you live like ten minutes from here but you're talking like we live hours away from each other. ", he chuckled as he put his arm around me.

Frowning I looked up at him. I wasn't in the mood for fighting, but I wasn't in the mood for giving up again either. Right from the beginning I knew Jimin's bad sides. I was able to handle them since I knew he had to do the same with me too. But Jimin's worst side had always been unfair to me. His worst trait was not to be able to confess his wrongdoings.

" we might live close to each other but still, I see you rarely. I thought that if I move here, we'd see each other every day. But now... I can call myself lucky if my boyfriend has time for me. ", I shook my head as I tried to fight the sudden sadness overcoming me.

I was aware of everything. Of the fact that I loved him more than he loved me and the fact that being with Jimin meant to be able to deal with a lot of rejection. But still, somehow I was always able to ignore those depressing thoughts. I had mastered in only thinking positively and reminding myself of the beautiful moments. However I wasn't able to control my feelings when the bubbles popped and I was hit by the realisation.

" what do you mean 'if my boyfriend has time for me'? I'm always here for you! "

" i think being there for me when I'm having trouble is the least you can do, Jimin. We've been together for two years now, that doesn't mean I just want to be with you when I need something. I started studying here last year, so that we could be together all the time! But now, whenever I want to see you, you're busy with your friends organising parties in which you betray me! ", I yelled at him, ignoring the fact that I had started a major fight.

Just when I was about to open the door, he grabbed me from behind and spun me around so I'd face him.

" don't you dare saying I cheated on you, because I never did! How can you say that? ", his voice sounded out of breath as he was still clinging his hand around my arm.

" don't you dare, Jimin, saying you didn't cheat on me when I saw you! "

" haven't we talked about this for a thousand times already? It didn't count! I was drunk! "

" what would you have done if I had made out with a stranger when I was drunk once? ", I pushed him back a little so I had space to breathe.

Jimin, as furious as he was, actually believed what I was saying. In that moment, he thought I had actually cheated on him. The way I had said it made him believe that I was confessing to him, which was of course not true. In those years I had been with him, no other man had what it took to replace Jimin. And so I naturally, always stayed loyal.

" i would break up with you! ", his voice was shaking as he stepped closer again.

" okay, I'm breaking up with you! ", I shrugged before leaving him standing in his room perplexed.

Hours passed and I was still waiting for him to show up. This time, I wanted him to beg for forgiveness. But deep inside I knew that it was me who had to stand in front of his door again and ask for forgiveness.

Soon later I was walking towards their house. Even from afar I could hear the loud music filling the streets. It would be much more beautiful without the music, walking on those streets.

The door wasn't locked and allowed everyone to enter. As usual it was filled with people grinding against each other. It didn't take long to find Jimin in the crowd.
Surrounded by many girls he was dancing in the center. The eyes of the girls had a sparkle as they watched his elegant and sexy moves. I knew what they were thinking and those thoughts felt like a million bullets shot into my heart.

I tapped on a girls shoulder to let me through, however she wouldn't let me. Helplessly I watched Jimin turning all those girls on. I tapped on another girls shoulder and was ignored again. Not caring anymore I pulled her away, finally standing right in front of Jimin. His smile fell when he noticed me. For a moment we were just staring at each other. The music was still playing, but for us it was cut off. Everything froze as only the two of us existed.

Jimin grabbed my hands as he pulled me towards him, putting his lips on mine. Again I felt that firework inside of me. The sweet taste of his kiss which fed me up with love, only followed by that taste of grapefruit.

" it's okay babe, I forgive you. "

two years ago ; march

With a big smile Jimin ran towards me. As he had reached me, he lifted me up and twirled me around in the air.

" you did it! ", I kissed his cheek.

The other students ran outside of the exam hall, not everyone of them wearing the same relieved smile like my boyfriend.

" i'm finally done with university! ", he sighed happily as he let me down.

For celebrating his last exam, we went out for dinner. He decided to get Mexican food and so we did.
As we were sitting by the table, I noticed Jimin being nervous. He squeezed my hand way too often and wasn't really blinking. With a blank expression I watched him, wondering what was going on inside his head.

Quickly we had finished the meal and went to his apartment. His roommates were sitting in the living room, playing play station. As far as I knew, Jimin was the only one graduating and moving out this year. The others were too busy to study, throwing parties and playing games. Not like my successful boyfriend, who had turned into a study monster in the past months.

" babe... there's something I haven't told you yet. ", he finally revealed.

Nervously playing with his hands, he sat down on his bed only to be standing up again and walking across the room. I nodded, knowing that it had to be something very serious since Jimin wasn't the type to get nervous in front of me.

" i got a job offer. "

A gasp came out of my mouth as I ran towards him, trying to hug him. However he didn't move a bit. He stood there, frozen and as cold as a stone.

" why aren't you happy? ", I started getting nervous too.

" it's an eight hours drive. "

I took a step away from him. He couldn't leave me, not again. Not when our relationship wasn't stable enough. But he did it, he thought only about himself again. He explained to me that this was the best job offer he could've ever gotten. There was no way he couldn't accept this offer, in fact he had already signed the contract. Suddenly he handed me some papers. With a blurry vision I read university names.

" you want me to come with you? ", I asked confused.

" of course! "

" i can't change the university in my last year! This will ruin my grades! ", I felt my cheeks becoming wet because of the tears, maybe because I already knew what was going to happen.

Lightly, Jimin grabbed my shoulders, trying to consult me.

" you will be even better! You'll live with me in a rented apartment and you can always study in a calm atmosphere! ", Jimin tried his best in convincing me.

" no, Jimin... I have to think about my grades and my future! "

" are you saying that you think I'm not your future? "

Perplexed I looked at him, not knowing what to say. Jimin was the love of my life, I had always been so sure about it. His love was what gave me energy, hope and faith in life. I knew that in the past years, we had grown together like I never could with anyone else. Leaving him was something I couldn't do and never even dared to think about.

" you're my everything, Jimin. ", I admitted sadly.

A little smile hushed over his face, before he locked his lips with mine.

one year ago ; august

Relieved I walked out of the building. It had always been my dream to mix my hobbies with my job in the future, but I had terribly failed. After university I just took the first job offer I could get. Now, I was talking to angry customers on the telephone everyday which left me feeling guilty, angry and annoyed every evening.

Jimin was sitting in the Café already, reading something on his phone.
I ordered a coffee before I walked towards him.

" hey. ", I mumbled as I sat down in front of him.

" hi, how was your day babe? "

It wasn't surprising to me that he didn't even look up at me. Jimin was in his own world right now, too focused on his phone. I could've told him everything but he wouldn't really listen.
My coffee was served and I had decided not to reply anything. Instead I watched my boyfriend carefully, as I sipped on my cup.
His fingers were typing fast and his eyes were drilling into his cellphone. I sighed as I started preferring to watch the people outside.

A young mother was carrying her son and rushed towards the bus stop. On the other side of the street I saw a young couple holding hands. They giggled and he was pinching her cheeks. She laughed even more before he leaned down to kiss her. In the middle of the street these two lovebirds exchanged a passionate kiss. By just watching them I could feel my heart race.

I looked back at my boyfriend, who now had his tablet in front of his face. He was mumbling something before typing something again. I couldn't refrain from sighing as I couldn't help this feeling of sadness coming up.

Deep down I knew that Jimin and I were over. I had given him my all, whilst he had given me nothing but trouble. Jimin would forever be the one I'd love the most, I couldn't deny that. But for the sake of my own, I knew that sooner or later I had to get ready to let him go.

; february

Suddenly his lips were pressed on mine. The sweet taste of his kiss filled me up with love, when suddenly I noticed the sour taste. I couldn't kiss back, I knew it wasn't right. Finally I looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time after I had told him that I was leaving. I noticed his reddened and wet cheeks as he desperately put his hands on my cheek, trying to make me stay.

He leaned his head on mine, sighing exhausted.

" aren't you feeling anything? ", he cried out.

" have you ever felt anything? "

" what do you mean? ", he stepped back, shaking his head.

" have you ever loved me? "

+ I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!!
I hope you liked it, I made it extra long (almost 4k words) so that I can be forgiven!!
Next (last) one will be ♡jin♡
And if anyone reads this...I'm writing the last chapter for awake atm and I have created a new plot for a new story already but now I don't know if it should be with Jimin or again Taehyung... who would you prefer?
THANK YOU ♡