Senior year, my last year as a student in school. As I entered the halls I could feel the sadness quietly crawling up. Even though I was looking forward to never seeing my schoolmates again, I wasn't ready to quit this important time of my life. In short, I didn't want to become an adult.

"How's your timetable?", Sunny asked me as I walked towards my first class.

"It's okay I guess, I just have a class with the new teacher which kind of angers me."

"Why? I heard he's not that bad.", Sunny tried to keep up with my pace, which probably looked funny to outstanders since she had short legs compared to mine.

Even though my grades weren't the best and I wasn't that studious at all, I got very nervous about the final grades. The test at the end of the year basically decided whether you would end up working as a taxi driver or become a student of one of the good universities.

"Well, it's senior year I want teachers I know are able to help me good. Not a newbie - how could they even make him have a senior class?", I felt my nerd side creeping up.

"How about you first get to know me?", a low voice suddenly appeared behind me.

In the speed of light I turned around to face my new English teacher. My mouth dropped open as I stared at him in awe. He looked very young with his light brown hair and his casual clothes.

"Are you the teacher?", Sunny stuttered behind me.

Hoping he would say no I could feel my heart pumping. My face was as red as a tomato, I was sure about that. Not only was I startled about the fact that I had kind of insulted my new teacher, but also because of his handsome face. How could I ever focus in class?

"Yes, I am. Are you two in my class now?", his deep voice was giving me goosebumps as he tilted his head and raised his eyebrow, staring directly into my eyes.

With shaky hands I grabbed my timetable out of my bag again. Even though I was sure I had a class with him now, I still hoped that maybe I didn't. As I grabbed the piece of paper out of my bag, he stood right behind me and I could see him smirk as he saw what I didn't want to see.

"Come in.", he opened the door as he widely smiled at me.

Still not having said anything, I lowered my head as I walked into the classroom where, luckily, everyone was minding their own business. As I was brushing my new teacher he suddenly leaned down to me:"Come to me after class, I think we should talk about what you just said."

In one moment I thought he was very appealing and even flirting, in the other he looked like any other teacher. Shyly I nodded as I quickly walked to my seat which was in the very back, next to the window.

As he started his lesson I didn't dare to look up once. Why did I feel so intimidated by him? I didn't want class to end because I didn't want to face him on the other hand I just wanted it all to get over with quickly.

Time always does what you don't want. When you want to enjoy it, time flies. And when you want it to pass quickly, it takes longer. The bell rang and I felt my heart beating unhealthily fast. The other students were quick to rush out, leaving me and my new teacher alone too soon.

"So, what did you think about my lesson?", he asked me while he packed some books into his bag.

"Good.", I simply muttered.

"You didn't focus at all, don't lie.", he laughed as he leaned against his table.

The blood was rushing to my cheeks and I still couldn't look at him. I grabbed my bag and slowly walked towards his desk. As I arrived I felt his hand on my chin, lifting it up.

"You can't even look at your teacher. Am I that ugly?", he smirked again.

His smirk was weird. In a way it made my heart flutter and happy and in the other I was simply intimidated.
Hastily I shook my head as a reply. Quietly he chuckled and finally let go of my chin.

"Thanks. I would appreciate you focusing a bit more the next time, okay? You can't blame me for your bad grades if you don't put any work into it."

"Yes. I'm sorry. Thank you.", I politely answered, looking down again.

My breathing stopped as I felt his soft hand under my chin again, lifting it up. What would passing students think? I looked towards the door to see luckily no one. His gaze followed mine and soon enough he dropped his hand.

"See you.", he smiled at me.

Feeling extremely nervous I nodded as I rushed towards the door. The halls were indeed empty as everyone was outside, listening to our principals speech.
Sunny leaned against the door and walked towards me quickly as soon as her eyes landed on me.

"Where have you been? And oh my God, I'm so sorry I had to leave you earlier. I wish I could've had English class too but on Monday morning I have biology.", Sunny whispered quietly trying not drawing any attention towards us.

"On the toilet. And no it's fine, I mean he's young and pretty chill you know.", I tried to not talk with her and listen to the principal.

"Well, yes he looked like that. So class was okay? Is he good enough as a teacher?"

I rolled my eyes when I suddenly felt someone brushing against me causing me to stumble a little. As I looked back I saw my teacher's eyes on me, a little smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, he's good.", I replied to Sunny who didn't notice my little stumble.

My eyes were still locked with his until he was swallowed by the crowd.

♢

A month had passed and the first exams were written, including the English one. I failed to keep up in class no matter how hard I tried. Even my self studies didn't seem to go as smooth as they usually would. Confused and sad about myself I walked into English class on Monday morning. The all nighter of last night was making me dizzy but I tried to ignore it.

My teacher, who we were allowed to call Namjoon, looked at me worried as I walked towards my spot. During class I failed to keep my eyes open as they became heavier by the second. Every now and then I was about to fall asleep when Namjoon's voice rose and shocked me. If he was doing it on purpose, I couldn't tell since I was unable to do anything in this state. I heard voices talking and becoming louder as suddenly Namjoon was standing in front of me. I rolled my eyes when I saw what was in his hand. It was the exam.

"Are you okay?", he leaned down as he put my exam on my table.

"Yes, thank you.", I muttered as I grabbed the paper in front of me.

39% out of 100. What the hell had happened? English class used to be my best with a minimum of 80%. I stared at the red numbers in disbelief.

"No.", I rather talked to myself as I realised everyone had left.

"Well, I don't think it's that good either. But as I told you, you can't blame me.", Namjoon shrugged.

"No.", I stood up,"I don't agree with this, this is wrong."

"I'm sorry.", he had his bag in is hand already, ready to leave.

"English used to be my best class!", I walked towards him as I felt my eyes tear up.

"You used to focus in class I guess."

I shook my head, gazing at him in awe. There were no words coming out of my mouth and the fact that my brain felt like a sponge didn't help in any way. I wasn't that dumb. I was much better. Suddenly I felt that all of this was his fault.

"I should change class.", I shook my head as I walked back to my place, packing up my stuff.

Namjoon was quiet for a while, watching me pack my stuff and trying to hold in the tears of disappointment.

"No, don't change class."

His deep voice, which always serenaded me, was suddenly right behind me. As I turned around I stumbled against my chair as I tried to step backwards.

"I can help you, but don't tell anyone! That's the only condition.", he said quietly.

◇

Every Wednesday and Friday night I visited Namjoon's place for private classes. Time by time the tension quietened down. It felt relaxing, just like the feeling when you were taking off clothes when you were sweating, layer by layer down you felt more comfortable. That was the exact way I felt.
After the incident I was able to look at him and talk to him. Also, I was able to listen to him. However concentrating was difficult. My eyes lingered on his lips for too long sometimes and whenever he caught me I wanted to sink into darkness.

The wind was freezing cold as I rushed towards his complex. My hands were red already as I arrived. He took longer as usual to open the door and as I stepped inside I could tell why. He was totally drunk.

"Are you drunk?", I asked in disbelief as I put my jacket down.

"Are teachers not allowed to drink?", he asked me, boozed up.

"Yes, you are. But not when you're supposed to teach me.", I followed him into the living room.

"To be honest with you, I don't know if I can continue this private class thingy."

"What? Why?"

He let himself fall down on the sofa and stared at me. His eyes looked different as usual and again I felt intimidated.

"I'm getting a weird feeling. Or wait, because I'm drunk I'll be honest with you.", he let out a little chuckle, "I've been feeling this weird feeling all along when I first saw you so why did I get the idea of giving you private lessons? I was so stupid. I always get myself in trouble, you know..."

Awkwardly I stayed where I was and shifted from the one leg to the other. My pulse rose as he suddenly stood up, walking closer to me. I closed my eyes when I suddenly felt a bottle being put into my hand. I held it up to see he had put a bottle of soju into my hand. My eyebrows rose as I stared at him, wondering what he was doing.

"Don't you want to become drunk too, maybe? Only for tonight, I swear. Then on Wednesday I will be the old Namjoon again,okay?"

My eyes were still locked with his as I took the first sip. Being the rebel I was, this was of course not my first time drinking. However I had a very low tolerance for alcohol, which led me to think I really wanted to make out with Namjoon.

At the end of the night we were heavily breathing as I sat on him on the sofa. His hands grabbed me tightly towards him, not leaving any space between our bodies. Soon it was getting hot and I felt the urge to take off my clothes. Luckily he stopped me from going any further. And this was how our secret relationship begun.

♢

Since that night he indeed hadn't given me any private lessons anymore. Whenever I visited him we had dates in his apartment. It was hard not being able to showcase our relationship in public, however every kiss after his lessons were worth it. The adrenaline I got from kissing him in school secretly was not comparable to any adrenaline I had felt before. And I knew that no other kiss with no other man could give me the same adrenaline rush.

A normal Monday morning it was when again the students rushed out of class, leaving me and Namjoon alone. With a little smirk I walked towards him. Quickly he walked towards the door and locked it, before turning around and pulling me towards him. Our kisses never got more sensual than little tongue involving but this time he put me on his desk.

"This is so much fun.", he laughed as he continued on kissing me.

"Wait, Namjoon.", I pushed him back a little and laughed at his confused expression.

"What is it?", he asked me as he put down his glasses.

"What did you think about my poem interpretation?"

"Oh that one... yeah well, I looked at it."

I furrowed my eyebrows at his criticising tone. Why was he always letting me feel like I was dumb?

"So?", I tilted my head as I hoped he wouldn't say anything mean.

"I think you interpreted it in a completely wrong way. The mouse and the cat don't represent two sides of the world, they just represent enemies in politics. I think the mouse is South Korea and the cat is North Korea during the Cold War. And in the end, when the witch is mentioned, that's indirectly referring to the war in 1951."

My head was spinning as I listened to his words. What he just had said made no sense at all.

"You know that the poet was German right? And that the poem was written in 1949.", I rose my eyebrows.

"Of course.", Namjoon shrugged,"I've told you already that authors can always predict the future. They always have and always will!"

"You know I won a prize with that interpretation last year, right?"

"Really?", he stared at me in disbelief.

◇

Exam month arrived and I was in total stress. Senior year really had gotten to me emotionally. Namjoon entered class and by his full packed bag we could tell that we were about to get our exams back. At the end of class he confirmed our speculations as he pulled out the exams.
Just like the last time I was the last one to get the exam. Other students were again rushing out and the other ones were about to leave.

Not looking at me he put the paper in front of my face. 48%. That wasn't enough.

"What the hell, Namjoon?", I stood up.

His eyes widened when the other students turned around to see why I was talking to him in such an informal way.

"I'm sorry.", he shrugged as he walked towards his desk again.

Feeling more angered than sad I waited for the other students to leave. As they finally did so, I walked towards Namjoon.

"I understand that you have to be a teacher and all, but this?", I pointed at the 48% as I shook my head.

"Yes, I'm a teacher. I'm sorry I know you tried to work hard but you just can't reach the level yet of being more than 48%.", he spoke in his teacher voice again.

It was at this point that I regretted what I had done. I hated him and should've kept on hating him in the first place. Feeling back stabbed I grabbed my bag as I opened the door. Namjoon's grip held me back from fleeing.

"Don't be like that.", he mumbled, now sounding like the boyfriend again.

I turned around but the only words I had left for him were:"I hate you."

With tears in my eyes I walked towards the principals office. I told him about my previous grades and about my upsetting grades now. He took my exam and told me he would take a look on it.

The next day I ignored Namjoon completely. Sadly he didn't want that to happen. As I was in biology class he asked my biology teacher if he could quickly exchange some words with me. Of course my biology teacher sent me out, which I was not thankful for.

"Really? In school!", I asked him as he dragged me towards his empty classroom.

"I'm sorry.", he almost whispered not looking at me.

"No, don't be. I don't need your apology. At first you tell me how much better I got, you encourage me and then you give me 48%? Do you know how that feels?", I felt myself becoming more tense.

He reached towards me but I shook him off.

"You did that on purpose. The only thing you wanted by being with me was feeling your power. That's what you felt when you first saw me, am I right?"

I could tell that I hit a nerve seeing how frozen he was. His mouth was dropped open and it was me now who had the power over him.

"Guess what. I'm not your dolly. And just because you have a diploma doesn't mean you're smarter than me, I hope you're realising this now. And oh by the way-", I grabbed for the paper inside of my bag.

As I reached it, a smile hushed over my face. The principal had corrected my exam, giving me 92%. Namjoon still didn't show any reaction as he saw the number written next to the crossed out 48%. I put the paper down, finally meeting his gaze. His gaze seemed empty and I could tell how embarrassed he was.

"You're not smarter than me.", I told him before I left.

+ if anyone wants to suggest the next member please do so

♡