*There's a CBJ game tonight but if (when) they win, I'm not going to post a bonus chapter tonight because I don't like posting two chapters in one day so I'll post the extra update tomorrow*

“If I make one more of these stupid stars, my hands are going to fall right off,” Mia grumbles on Sunday when we’re working in the meeting room to fold our little messages into stars.

“Seriously, how’d we get stuck with the grunt work?” Katie wonders, glancing over at Desiree as if she has all of the answers as to why we got stuck on star duty.

“It’s not grunt work,” Desiree shakes her head. “It’s kind of fun and it was just the next job on the list when we finished the sign so it’s what we got assigned.”

“Well, it sucks,” Mia says. “I’d much rather be painting a sign than folding a billion tiny papers into motivational stars.”

“Sure but think about all of the happy people there are going to be after they open up these tiny stars,” Desiree adds, tossing another folded up star into the bucket that we’re using to hold all of the finished stars.

“They better be ecstatic,” Renée sighs, obviously joking. “Because I have never had finger cramps until today. Can you get Charlie horses in your fingers because I think that might be happening right now.”

“We’re almost done,” I encourage her as I toss a purple star into the bucket. Just five more minutes until we should start cleaning up and calling it a day for today so I think we’ll survive it. Especially me considering I know that Niles is out in the common area waiting for me to finish up in here so that we can hang out for a while before he has to go home and work on homework from his first week of classes. Speaking of Niles, I grab a larger piece of paper that doesn’t have any writing on it yet and then scribble down a message unlike any of the other ones that I’d written and then I quickly fold it into a star but I don’t put it in the bucket, I sit it on my lap under the table before anybody says anything about it.

“At least we don’t have that job,” Katie motions towards three people who are fixing up a pile of old clothes, organizing them and hanging them up on a rack if they are usable. Some people here don’t have a way of getting a fancy outfit for the dance- or an outfit at all- so the facility uses donated clothes or stuff from the thrift shop so that everybody who wants to go can go to the dance can get dressed up. The people that we’re now looking at have the job of sorting through all of those donations to make sure that they’re usable. “It sounds so gross to have to sort through other peoples’ clothes.”

“I think I’d barf,” Renée comments.

“Where is your spirit, you guys?” Desiree wonders with a small incredulous laugh. “Cheer up. We only have about a month before this dance and then, when it’s finally here, it’s going to be amazing. Not just for us, but for everybody. We’re going to make everybody here so happy.”

I force a smile to show her that it excites me but it really doesn’t. It isn’t my job to make other people happy, it is my job to make me happy. I know that it sounds selfish but everybody here needs to have their priorities straight. Everybody needs to worry about themselves first before they start wishing for other’s happiness. How can you give other people happiness if you are not happy yourself? That’s like a homeless man giving away money to charity. However, I don’t say that out loud, I just nod and then continue to work.

“I just want this to be over,” Katie sighs, tossing a star into the bucket.

“Why’d you join the club if you don’t like it?” Renée wonders, cocking her head to the side with curiosity.

“Because my doctor said that it’d be good for me,” She explains. “And, I’m not one for following the rules as I’m sure you guys can tell by now, but if she writes me a good report then I can get out sooner and that’s my top priority, getting out.”

“So you don’t even care about any of this stuff?” Desiree wonders, seemingly personally offended by what Katie just said.

“It’s not my top priority, no,” Katie shrugs, starting on another star as I finish another one, adding it to the bucket to start on another one. My fingers are starting to cramp up too but I just push through it because we don’t have much longer at all and I can handle a little bit of finger cramping. “I mean, it’s not like I’m half assing anything. I’m still doing a good job at the task at hand, I just don’t particularly enjoy arts and crafts.”

Desiree looks bewildered by that but she just purses her lips and turns back to her furious folding without saying another thing. Katie can tell that she annoyed Desiree so she makes a good decision and remains silent, which kind of leaves the table in a slightly awkward silence as we finish our origami task for the day and then quickly lean up all of the papers, putting them in the cabinet where they’re stored during the week.

“Well, that was awkward,” Renée mumbles as we leave the meeting room. Mia is walking with Desiree but they stayed back to ask Quinn a question (well, Desiree had to ask a question, Mia just decided to hang out while she did so) and Katie was already out of the meeting room before I could even find her to walk out with her. She’s very independent, Katie is. I rarely ever see her around the facility unless it’s on Sunday afternoon in that meeting room and whenever I do see her, she barely even acknowledges my existence other than a small smile here and there. I don’t mind that, I actually respect that people sometimes don’t particularly enjoy human interaction and when I do talk to her on Sundays, she’s pretty nice. I’m not sure that her and Desiree get along very well but I like them both. The tension between them gets a little awkward sometimes when we’re working but it’s bearable.

“Yeah, it really was,” I chuckle, holding the large pink star in my hand as we’re walking down the hallway towards the common area.

“What’s that?” She wonders, motioning towards the star.

“Oh, it’s just one of those stars. I’m going to give it to Niles,” I explain to her.

“Really?” She wonders with raised eyebrows. “That’s awfully nice of you.”

“I guess,” I shrug. “I just thought that it’d be a nice little thing to do and writing a note inside of an origami figure is a lot easier than talking about feelings aloud.”

“Feelings?” Renée echoes, flashing me a side smile.

“Not like that,” I tell her. “I mean… I don’t know. Everything was a lot easier when I was so angry at the world, you know? Everything was just so black and white. Nobody was attractive. I either liked a person or I didn’t and there was no way that I’d ever like like a person. But now that I’m opening my eyes some more, I’m seeing a lot more colors in between loving something and absolutely hating it. Now, he’s kind of beautiful and I really do like him as a friend but I’m not so sure that it’s completely platonic now. Life is so much more complicated when you add optimism to the mix.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” She insists. “It may be complicated but at least it’s colorful.”

“Right, well I’m not sure if I like it or not,” I decide as we walk into the common area and I see Niles leaning against the wall near the door that leads out to the court yard. “Which I guess adds to the complication factor.”

“What fun would life be without a little bit of complication?” Renée wonders with a grin. “Anyway, I’ll see you later, Ana.”

“You can come hang out with us if you want,” I offer, feeling a bit rude to just leave her to go talk to Niles. I’m aware that although Renée and Niles have met, they aren’t intent on becoming friends or anything and that’s fine, I just feel bad that I have to hang out with one or the other because if I try to make them hang out with each other, it’s not as fun because they’re politely quiet and it’s weird. I know that Renée will turn down my offer but I feel like I have to offer anyway.

“No, it’s okay,” She says, just like I knew that she would. “But you guys have fun.”

“Alright. See you later then,” I say, waving goodbye to Renée as I walk over to Niles as he’s pulling on the edges of his leather jacket.

“Hey,” He greets me.

“Hello. How was your first week of school?” I ask him as we walk outside into the courtyard since it’s a nice sunny day today and the common area inside is pretty crowded right now.

“Busy,” He sighs. “I already have a paper due next week and an exam the week after that.”

“Sounds intense,” I comment. “But I’m sure you’ll do fine. Did you pass that math course that you were working on?”

“Yes. Barely,” Niles nods. “I’m pretty convinced that I only passed because you helped me out a lot with that integral stuff. That was the hardest math that I’ll probably have to take though, so hopefully it just gets easier from here on out.”

“At least you passed,” I say optimistically.

“Exactly,” He chuckles, sitting down on one of the empty benches as I do the same. “So what’s that?”

He motions toward the star that I’ve been fumbling over in my hands. “Oh, it’s for you, I guess. We’ve been making these tiny stars for the dance in October and so I slipped one out for you. You have to open it though, because it says something on the inside.”

He takes the paper star from my outstretched hand and then examines it before looking up at me. “How do I open it? I don’t want to tear it.”

“Like this,” I say, pulling the flap of paper that causes the whole star to unravel. “I know it’s incredibly childish but I figured that it was easier than actually speaking. Don’t open it right now though, wait until you go home.”

Niles gives me a curious look, his dark eyebrows furrowing at me. “Is it something incredibly deep?”

I shrug. “I’m not sure. You’ll see when you open it.”

“Always so mysterious,” He teases me as he puts the star in his pocket, careful not to wrinkle it in the process. “Why are you making stars for the dance?”

“Well, it’s Hollywood themed so there’s a bunch of different types of stars,” I explain to him. “I’ve been folding up little paper stars for the past hour and a half and my hands are a little sore, actually. Fortunately, I made it through the whole thing without even one paper cut.”

“That’s a major victory,” Niles tells me with a small laugh. “Congratulations.”

“I know, it is, and thank you,” I nod before I remember something that I can’t believe I even forgot in the first place. “Oh! Wait, I totally forgot that you had a game yesterday, didn’t you? How’d it go? Did you guys win?”

“Yeah, it was our first game and we won,” He confirms.

“That’s awesome,” I smile at him, kicking some of the grass under my feet absentmindedly. “I think that I’m going to try to talk to Dr. Lombardi again about letting me go to the next game or something. I’m doing really well so I don’t think that it’ll be an insane long shot this time. Well, not this next game but the one after that. I still think she needs a little bit more time.”

“Ana, you shouldn’t push it so much,” Niles says with a slightly worried frown on his face. “Just let Dr. Lombardi decide on her own without you pressuring her, alright? I don’t want you to push yourself into a situation that you aren’t ready for. Especially for me.”

With a loud sigh, I roll my eyes and then look over at him. “I know what I can handle, alright? Can’t you trust me to make that decision for myself? I promise that I won’t go if I don’t think that I can handle it.”

“Sure but I’d still feel really bad if something happened to you at the game because you tried to push it too quickly,” He explains.

“Look, I appreciate that you’re worried about me, but I’m so tired of people trying to decide what’s best for me without even listening to what I have to say. I don’t need that from you too. Please,” I look at him pleadingly, trying to get him to understand where I’m coming from.

“Sorry. I’m not trying to make up your mind for you or try to decide for you, I’m just asking that you seriously think about it before rushing to make a decision,” He explains softly. “I’m allowed to be worried about you.”

“Sure you can,” I mumble, crossing my arms over my chest. “But you really don’t have to.”

“I’m going to anyway,” He tells me stubbornly as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and I instinctively lean into him because it feels so amazing to be able to be this way with another human. Feeling somebody wrap their arms around your shoulders as if they’re afraid that at any moment, you could float away from them. I’ve forgotten what such affection feels like considering how deathly afraid of human contact I’ve been lately but this feels so amazing. I didn’t know what I was missing.

“You can’t do that,” I whisper, waking up from my dreamy haze as I pull away from Niles and his arm falls away from my shoulders. “Not here.”

“What do you mean?” Niles asks me.

“Dr. Lombardi is getting worried about our friendship. If they even suspect for a second that we’re even slightly more than platonic, she’ll stop signing off on letting me go hang out with you outside of the facility and they can stop letting you back here. I don’t want that to happen.”

“Do you think that we’re more than platonic?” He wonders curiously, his blue eyes boring into me so deeply that I feel as if the sun might swallow me whole at any second through his oceanic eyes.

“I’m not sure I even know what that means anymore,” I sigh quietly. “I think that I’d like to be but everything is just so complicated now, you know? Seeing things in color just makes everything so complicated. No wonder dogs are always so chill.”

“What? Dogs? You’ve lost me, Ana,” Niles tells me with a small laugh.

“Forget it,” I mutter. “I’m just saying that regardless of the status of our friendship, it only matters what Dr. Lombardi believes and if one of the nurses sees us sitting like that then they’ll report it to Dr. Lombardi and she’ll shut it all down. I know that she means well, she really does, but she tends to underestimate me sometimes.”

“It’s her job to make sure that you are safe,” He reminds me as if I don’t already know that.

“Are you saying that you’re going to be the thing that ruins me?” I ask him. “Because you’re not. It’s like a Jenga tower. I have been built up with bricks. Friends, family, delicious ice cream, and you. But if you take just one brick out, the whole thing doesn’t collapse.”

“Well, it can,” He pipes.

“You’re ruining my metaphor,” I elbow his side teasingly as I continue. “If you left, I would not shatter. There would simply be a hole where you used to be and sure, it’d make me incredibly sad but I’d like to believe that if any of my bricks left, I will eventually be able to find another brick to replace the lost one.”

“Really?”

I nod. “Although, I have a hard time believing that you’re replaceable at all. My point is that you aren’t destructive to my well-being. Even if you wanted to be, you couldn’t. I don’t mean to hurt your ego here or anything but you aren’t the only person that has saved me from myself. I saved me. Only I can destroy me again and nobody else.”

“That won’t happen though, right?” He wonders apprehensively.

“No,” I tell him. “At least, I don’t think so. I obviously can’t say that I’m 100% sure that I won’t relapse but I can guarantee with 100% positivity that if I do, it won’t be because of you. Dr. Lombardi just doesn’t understand that yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yeah. She probably won’t ever understand that, really, because you’re right. It’s her job to protect me from any threats to my sanity- or lack thereof- and apparently, you’re a potential threat.”

He starts chewing on his bottom lip as if he’s thinking about something and then he says, “You were right. This does seem pretty complicated.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” I mumble. “Anyway, let’s not worry about that right now. Are we on for Sunday?”

“Actually, no. I’m going shopping for a new car so I’ll be busy but how about Thursday after class?” He suggests. “My last class ends at noon so we’ll have time to hang out before I have to go home and work on this stupid essay.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I nod. “But if you’re too busy, it’s okay to skip next week.”

“I’m not too busy,” He assures me.

“Okay. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do this, especially if your school work is going to build up,” I explain to him. “I’m allowed to worry about you too, you know.”

“I don’t feel obligated to take you places, Ana,” Niles says with a shake of his head. “I want to. It’s nothing I can’t handle, I promise.”

“Okay,” I say again, my voice quiet as I kick my feet through the grass below the bench. “I just wanted to make sure.”

We talk for a little while longer about things that are a lot lighter and I actually laugh a lot but then it’s time for dinner and I’m surprisingly really hungry so I have to say goodbye to Niles and he reminds me that he’ll see me on Thursday before I leave the courtyard. When he doesn’t follow me through the doors to go inside, I turn around and look out the window. He’s still sitting on the bench and he’s looking down at the paper star that is now in his hands. I watch from the window as he pulls the flap that unravels the paper and then he reads what’s inside.

No matter what happens, I hope that you remember me. Because you will be engraved in my soul forever.

It’s kind of cheesy and weird but that’s what I thought of saying when I had to think on my feet to write something down. I hope that he doesn’t laugh after he reads it. Judging by his face, I don’t think that he thinks that it’s funny, so that’s good.

As if he can sense me watching him, Niles suddenly looks up at the window that I’m standing in front of before I can even hide. Without an escape route, I just offer him an awkward wave before I disappear from the window and hurry into the cafeteria for dinner with my cheeks blazing a deep red.

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Song: A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay
Picture: The paper stars that they're making

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT

Title: Untold Truths
Author: Inlovebooks
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Summary: Alison and Nic have been best friends forever until Nic commited a suicide. This is the story of Alison trying to find out why did Nic did this and she is shocked to find out that there are many untold truths being told one by one. Read the story and find out the untold truths.