^^ Naww, don't be sad baby :,( ^^

"Those we love don't go away,
they walk besides us every day.
Unseen, unheard, but always near;
still loved, still missed and very dear."

Chapter 36

River's POV

I could barely breathe, barely speak as my mouth moved. Words, small incoherent sounds each coming out more strangled than the next.

Alice's brows pulled together, lips forming a line as she eyed me, "how do you know that name?"

All words escaped me as I peered quizzically at her, "...What do you mean?"

"Exactly as I said," Alice growled, "how the hell do you know that name!"

At this point I was searching her face, attempting to find whatever it was she was implying.

"How could I not?" I breathed, "You're one of my closest friends."

Her teeth clenched.

Was she mad at me...?

"I-I'm so sorry for what happened," my words rushed out, voice trembling, "I promise I didn't mean to leave you. I was taken by my mate and then no matter how much I searched...," my voice cracked as I rubbed at my eyes. Her eyes widened, "I'm so sorry," I breathed.

"I," she paused, "...I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

My eyes widened.

Oh god, she is mad at me.

"Please," I pleaded, "please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry-"

She held up a hand and I immediately shut up.

"I...I'm not..." she sighed as my brow rose in confusion, "My name is Melina," my hand pulled to my mouth as I took in a strained breath, "Alice..." she choked, "...that's the name of my twin. My dead twin."

The world spotted, my vision turning blurry as I choked on a sob, "N-no..."

My hand hushed my cries as Melina watched me, eyes glistening with tears as she watched me weep my heart out.

"W-when?" I choked.

"A little over two years ago."

Two years ago.

...Two years ago. That can't be right. It's only been a little over five months since my captivity.

I watched her rub at her eyes as I rested against a cool stove, hand on my chin as my mind filled with confusion.

"That can't be true."

Her eyes narrowed as she sniffed, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"N-no," I waved my hands, "it's just...the last time I had seen her was a little over five months ago."

She shook her head, "that can't be true. She's been dead for over two years. You must be talking about a different Alice then."

Her eyes were downcast as she continued to rub avidly at her eyes.

"She looked exactly like you. The same dirty blond hair, hazel eyes...everything. You're identical to her. It can't possibly be anyone else," I exclaimed.

I couldn't take my eyes off her.

How could she not be Alice...? They look exactly alike. They must be identical twins.

"What?" She asked, head tilted.

"It's just..." I managed. "You look exactly like her."

She started laughing, "Well, we are twins. But we're not identical."

"You're not?"

She nodded as she pointed to a beauty mark just beneath her left eye.

"Oh," I gasped, coming closer to peek at it. "You're right, Alice didn't have that."

"Oh!" She breathed, "Also..." She reached the bottom of her shirt and began lifting it.

I squeaked and covered my face with my hands, blushing a bright red.

"...What are you doing?"

I lifted my hands slowly from my face, turning even redder in embarrassment when I saw her with a pocket watch in hand, shirt down.

"You were taking off your shirt," I said, flustered.

"No, I was reaching for my pocket watch. I keep it clipped to my waist." She raised a brow, "why would I take my shirt off?"

"I," I rubbed the back of my neck, "I thought you were showing me another beauty mark."

She laughed at my idiocy, patting me on the back, "I'm not giving you a show. Not for free at least."

My eyes widened, "N-no, I-I d-don't w-want-"

"-Don't worry, I won't." She wiped a stray tear from her eye as she smiled widely.

I muttered incoherently as she continued to laugh.

"Oh Goddess," she choked in laughter, wiping at tears. She took a deep breath, "I actually wanted to show you something." She held out the pocket watch for me.

I took it from her hand, analyzing the beautiful etchings on each side. It was beautiful. A clean gold with flowery inscriptions on each side. On the top was an engraving of a large rose, taking up majority of it. Across the sides were small flowers growing from a long vine that wrapped around the entire pocket watch in a circled hold.

"Open it," she urged.

I nodded, lifting the top with a snap. My fingers pulled to the clock, touching lightly at the numbers and hands. It was so well crafted, the hands a thin gold with elegant cursive numbers each in their place. A soft smile pulled to my face at the picture inside, a background to the beautiful cursive and golden hands. It was a hand drawn picture of Alice and who I now knew as, Melina.

"Alice made this."

I peered up, mouth agape, "Alice made this?"

I peered back down at the watch, the handcrafted, detailed portrayal of one's delicate hand.

"She was very talented," Melina said, "she would make all the little trinkets in my house from pocket watches to jewelry boxes. People would offer money for her work but she would just shake her head and give them one for free. She never did like charging people for what she created," her eyes softened, "she didn't see her work for what it really was. She was so humble, so caring" she breathed. "The best sister one could ever ask for."

I listened, mind racing.

She was caring. I had witnessed that first hand in captivity. If not for her, who knows what broken form of myself Alastair would have found.

"She is caring, very caring," I smiled brightly, "she was the only ray of sunshine in our captivity. Which is why I hope to find her-"

"Our captivity...?" Melina interrupted.

"Yes, I met her during my time in the underground slave market. She's actually the reason I survived such a dreadful place," I sighed.

"...Slave market?" She seemed taken aback by my statement, "Alice was never in the slave market. She was with us, our family her entire life. She would never have been in such a...disgusting place."

"She was, around the time you say she died. Perhaps...perhaps you were misinformed."

"No," her voice tightened, eyes growing thinner by the minute, "She died. I saw it with my own eyes. I...they killed her...they killed him."

Him?

"What do you mean?" Who does she think killed her?

"Alice...Alice was killed for going against the law. For not joining the army like all the rest of the men..but she couldn't! He couldn't!" She rambled, hands moving in jittery movements.

A woman in the army?

"They forced women to join the army in your town?"

Who allowed such a thing?

Melina shook her head, "No, no...Alice...Alice wasn't a girl."

...What?

"I don't understand-"

"My town, it was weak and small, constantly being attacked my neighboring towns hoping to bigger themselves. They had a draft. All men over eighteen were forced to come. My mother was very sick at the time, we were afraid of her getting even worse if her only son was to be pulled into the war and killed."

What is she saying...?

"So," she continued with a sigh, "it was a plan, a quite ridiculous one, but he was always one for ridiculous ideas. We made it seem as if he'd died of a plague. Deaths were pretty common in my town so no one thought anything of it. He changed his name, changed his wear. He looked completely different, no one even realized. We just pretended he was an older orphaned girl we had adopted. People felt bad, falling for our little play...and it worked. The officers of the town hadn't realized...didn't realize until..." She cupped her mouth with a choked sob.

"W-wait!" I lifted a hand, "I'm not understanding. What are you implying...?"

"Alice...Alice was the name we used, he used."

Alice...Alice was her brother? A boy?

That can't be. I would have realized, wouldn't I?

"But her voice- his voice-"

"We practiced a lot. Perfecting his speak and tone so that he could pull off being female. It wouldn't have worked if he would have opened his mouth and a gruff voice came out," she laughed, voice breaking.

"Wait," I took a breath, collecting my thoughts.

This didn't make sense. Not at all.

"Then why did he remain as a girl during our time in captivity? If it was just a show for the people in your town why...keep the role?"

"That's the thing," she sighed, "I have no idea what you're talking about. He's dead. The army of my town killed him for breaking the law."

"But he didn't die. I mean. I met him or her or whatever I should be calling Alice!" My hands rose in exasperation, "She was there. Alive. And still is to my knowledge. I only was separated from...Alice a little over five months ago, when we were freed. "

Her mouth formed a straight line, "I can't understand how that could be possible."

"But it is! That...person in the photo," I held the pocket watch to her, "that's Alice. The same person I met. Your brother, my once girl friend," I laughed.

"But," she paused, "it just can't be," she sighed.

"And why not?"

Her eyes searched the room as if hoping to find the answer in all the dirty dishes and cut food.

"I saw it happen. I saw them kill him." Her eyes glazed in anger.

I sighed, letting it go.

So stubborn...just like her. Or him, I guess now.

"Is that why you left? Why you joined this?" My hands waved around me.

"Yes," she pulled at her hair, "they were going to kill us next. For assisting him in his deception. They almost did," she gave a tight smile, peering downwards, "but then he saved us. Emile. He gave us a way out. A new family." She looked up, her eyes sparkling.

"Not Parish?"

Strange, I thought he'd be the one taking people home with him.

I imagined him coming back with an armful of stray cats. Emile's flabbergasted expression.

I snorted at that.

"Parish?" She raised a brow, "the little boy?"

I nodded.

Did his people not know of his secret?

"No," she laughed, "of course not, the little thing barely speaks to anyone but Emile. He's practically in love with the guy."

She meant it as a joke but she didn't seem so far from the truth in my eyes.

It was very obvious that there was more going on in that relationship than pure admiration.

"Excuse me," a rude voice came behind us. We turned to a narrow-eyed woman, her hands sat on her hips as she sucked in a breath, "sorry to interrupt your giggle fest but there are patients that actually need to be fed."

She didn't sound very sorry.

I nodded as Melina helped me carry the pot to the bone room where Anna was. Anna raised a brow as I entered the room.

"What took you so long?"

I laughed as I set the pot down on a table where the rest of the food was in a buffet-like manner.

"Sorry," Melina answered, "I take the blame. He was just so much fun to talk to!" She smiled widely, raising her arm to wrap around my shoulder tightly.

Anna raised a brow, "Uh huh."

I gave a small smile. I was never very good at lying.

A series of moans resounded behind me as Melina began pouring some patients the soup I had made.

"This is amazing!" A girl exclaimed.

"Thank you," I mumbled, flustered by the compliment.

Anna stood up from her mat, pouring herself a bowl as well.

"Wow," she sighed as she swallowed a spoonful, "this is delicious, River! I'm surprised it's still hot," she laughed, nudging my shoulder.

I laughed lightly, "Thank you."

Anna bent forward to whisper in my ear, "Have you ever cooked for Alastair?" She pulled back with a smirk.

"Oh, no," I whispered back, waving my hands as I shook my head, "he has cooks to cook for him. He would never want to eat what I'd cook when he has people like that cooking for him."

"How could you say that?" Anna's brows furrowed as her voice raised slightly, "you're his mate. Of course, he'd want to eat what you made for him."

I brought a finger to my lip to which she nodded, slurping at her soup.

"I don't know," I sighed, speaking quietly, "I just never thought of it. And now, I don't think I'll ever get a chance to."

"Why? Because we're here?" She nodded upward as she spoke in a hushed voice, "We won't be here forever. Knowing your mate he's probably torn through the entire town searching for you. It's only a matter of time before he does."

I turned my head nervously, making sure no one had heard her comment. Melina was occupied at the serving station while everyone else chattered away, eating as they spoke.

Thank Goddess.

"They didn't hear us, relax," Anna whispered softly.

"I know, it's just," I rubbed at my arms, "I'm afraid. Afraid of being stuck here. Afraid of them finding out I'm not supposed to be here," I lowered my voice even more at the end, afraid someone may hear.

"Aah, you're pretending to be a girl aren't you?" Anna giggled, hand covering her mouth as amusement shone in her eyes, "I can't say I'm surprised. Only you could actually get away with that."

You'd be surprised.

"Oh, thank the Goddess I'm done," Melisa declared as she joined us, stretching her arms.

Anna and I laughed.

"That bad, huh?" Anna joked.

"Oh, you'd be surprised. Hungry people are the worst." She rose her arms before dropping them dramatically.

Wow, even her demeanor was so similar to Alice's. If that even is his name.

"Melisa?"

Her eyes turned from Anna with a questioning expression.

"Um-hm?"

"What was your...brother's name?"

Her eyes lit up, "I thought you'd never ask," she joked. Anna's expression was confused as she looked between us, "Noah. His name was Noah."