^^Confused River^^

"I am not alone because loneliness is always with me."

Chapter 25

River's POV

"Did he drink enough? He could be dehydrated," a nervous voice spoke above me, "Keith get him some water."

A grumble filled the room followed by harsh footsteps walking away.

I opened my eyes slowly, vision slightly hazy as blurred figures peered down at me.

"How are you feeling, love?"

Alastair.

"W-what happened?" I tried to sit up but a hand stopped me.

"Don't sit up yet. We don't want you fainting."

The voice was too soft to be Alastair's. I turned to a furry-browed blond.

"Michael?"

I looked around at the familiar sterile, white room.

"Yes?"

"Why am I in your office?"

What happened to the picnic in the garden? Why is my head spinning?

"You fainted, love," Alastair's soothing voice filled my ears as he peered down at me, eyes filled with nerves, hand shaking against my arm.

Why is he shaking?

"We think you may be dehydrated." My head turned towards Michael as he spoke. His arms were crossed. A clear sign of annoyance.

At me?

He turned towards Alastair, "how could you not have made sure he drank?"

Alastair pulled his hand from my arm, running his shaking fingers through his black hair.

Keith made his presence known as he stomped his way back into the room, cup in hand.

"Would you stop acting like you're five?!" Michael demanded as he pulled the cup from Keith's hand, almost spilling the contents onto the floor.

Keith grumbled on how what he had done the night before was most definitely not something a five-year-old knew how to do. A statement which caused Michael's face to flush before pushing the cup into Alastair's hand.

"Make sure he drinks the whole thing," he declared before yanking Keith by the ear and dragging him out the door.

"God, they just don't know when to stop with their lover's quarrels," Alastair sighed.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that so I remained silent.

Was it normal for lovers to fight as much as Michael and Keith do?

"Don't worry, love," Alastair brushed my hair from my face as his hand rested on my upper back, pulling me up slowly and bringing the cup to my lips, "They fight like cats and dogs by day and f-...make love like bunnies by night. From what I've observed, Keith enjoys riling Michael up. He had once told me that make-up sex with Michael was the best kind of sex," he laughed.

Though I didn't find it funny. Not at all. Why would one purposely want to fight with their lover? Surely that was twisted, was it not?

I began to sip from the cup as Alastair continued, "they have had a bit of a strange relationship, those two, for as long as I can remember."

Strange relationship...?

"Keep drinking, love."

I hadn't realized that I had stopped drinking. He tipped the cup a bit more and I finished the cup with one last gulp. I felt a drop of water fall from my lips as Alastair leaned down and licked it from my chin. My face heated up as he pulled from my chin with a small smile.

"Are you feeling better now, love?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak.

I felt a warm hand on mine.

"River, you have to tell me if you ever feel dizzy or nauseous again. Never hold back how you feel. Don't keep things from me," his hand squeezed mine a little too tight.

I flinched.

He pulled away with an apology on his lips.

'Don't keep things from me'

☽✹☾

I laid in bed, peering out the window at the crescent moon shining oh so brightly in the midnight sky.

So beautiful.

I reached my hand up, attempting the grab at the shining form but as usual, it was unreachable.

'Untouchable.'

I flinched slightly at the rough sound that vibrated throughout my mind. Though it was less of fear and more of surprise of the sudden, additional presence in my mind.

"Who are you?" I whispered.

The only sound that filled the room was the night air pooling in from the open window.

I had long since been afraid of the voice. Rather, now I was just merely curious. Where had it come from? Was it a good voice, bad voice? Was it something I had developed or was it always there but had now chosen to speak? It never spoke more than a single word, but it always seemed to always speak similarly to my thoughts.

"What should I name you?" I whispered more to myself than the voice.

Again nothing but the hissing of wind flowing through the golden room.

I peered up at the moon.

"How about Luna?"

Silence.

"I know it sounds kind of girlish, but I think it's a very beautiful name."

I waited, wind brushing past my cheek.

"Luna it is!" A stirring beside me caused me to drop my arms as Alastair moved slightly in his sleep, fingers brushing against my waist.

'Mate.'

"Yeah," I smiled as I brushed my fingers gently through his silky hair, "my mate."

He turned his head to nuzzle against my hand as his eyes slowly opened.

"Why are you up so late, love?" His voice was husky with sleep. A sound that caused me to shiver in heated desire.

I shrugged as I peered up at the moon, "just looking at the moon."

"The moon, huh?" He yawned and pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling his nose against my neck.

I giggled as he laid sloppy kisses up my neck.

"Stop," I pushed at his chest with a giggle to my voice.

"Did you know, before the war," Alastair breathed against my neck, "our people used to find strength beneath the moonlight."

"Really?"

He nodded, kissing a heated path up my neck, "beneath the moonlight is when we had the strongest connection to the Moon Goddess."

"Did we lose our connection to her?"

Was that what the voice was?

"I guess you could say that," he bit my lobe teasingly, "we lost the string that connected us with her."

I shivered as he nipped slightly at my lobe, pulling and tugging in a state of pleasurable pain.

Ah, our wolves.

"But don't you have a connection with yours?" I gasped.

His eyes turned yellow whenever he would get too excited.

His fingers brushed lightly against my nipples, earning himself a whimpered gasp, "I can feel a pool of emotions. Unlike most wolves, mine is...stronger. Containing him completely would be near impossible. So every once in awhile I can feel emotions that connect mine with his: anger, sadness, excitement. However, I can't feel...him. I don't feel him, rather his emotions. If that makes sense," he laughed against my sensitive ear.

"What did the connection used to be like? Before the war."

He sighed "I shouldn't have brought it up. We can't talk about this, love," he sat up, running his fingers through his hair as laid against the headboard. I felt the cold air return as his heat separated from mine.

Why?

"Wh-"

"I'm going to go fetch a cup of water from the kitchen," he interrupted as he stood up from the bed, "Do you need anything, love?"

I shook my head.

He walked to his wardrobe, pulling on a pair of loose-fitting pants along with a beige shirt.

He walked back to the bed, leaning over me and kissing my forehead, "I'll be right back," he promised before he walked out of the door, closing it softly behind him.

I was silent for a few minutes, watching the door before peering back at the moon.

Why was it not allowed to speak of life before the war? Surely, that was suspicious of a sort. Was I the only one that questioned it?

"What do you think, Luna?" I whispered.

Silence.

Crickets chirped outside as a breeze of wind brushed past my exposed chest. I shivered as I pulled the blanket back up to my neck, hands holding tightly to the silken fabric.

Perhaps I was the only one who questioned it. All alone.

Alone, huh? It appears things haven't changed as much as I thought.

I buried my face in the sheets as I sighed.

'Not alone.'

My face flew up from the sheets.

"Luna?" I whispered.

"What?" A voice rang from the door as Alastair closed the door behind him with two cups in hand.

I swallowed, "Nothing, love," I pulled a sweet smile.

He quirked a brow before sitting beside me on the bed, "You said you didn't want anything but after what happened in the garden," he sighed, "I just want to make sure you're consuming enough liquids, please?" he pleaded.

I didn't quite know how to say no to him when he would make a face like that. I nodded and reached my hands out. He placed it in my waiting hands.

Warm.

I cradled it in my fingers as I brought it to my lips. The smell of cinnamon wafted through my senses as I blew on it and took a small sip.

"Good," I breathed as I took another sip of the sweet goodness.

Chai, I remember this one.

"Like it?"

I nodded as I brought it back to my lips.

I remembered what the voice had said earlier: 'not alone'. I wasn't quite sure if its reassuring voice was of its own or if it was but a thought I had created in my own mind to console myself, but I was thankful nonetheless.

"Thank you." Luna.

Alastair turned towards me, "You're welcome, love," he smiled as he kissed me softly on the lips.

A hum resounded in my head, bringing a smile to my face.

I'll take that as 'you're welcome', Luna.