^^ I wrote the chapter to this song ^^

A/N: Hey guys!! I'm so sorry, I didn't have wifi until now to dedicate this chapter but now I do *cheers* The winner is...drum roll please! Maddie!!!! *throws confetti* The new official ship name for Alastair and River is Rivastair - I love it!!! xD Hope you guys all have an amazing Thursday!! *blows kisses* <3

"Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light"

Chapter 16

River's POV

People say that on the day of your mating ceremony you wake up with a halo floating above your head, birds chirp blissfully outside your window sill, a humming melody plays in your head, and that you walk with a jump to your step.

The day I awoke it seemed as if clouds surrounded the palace in a halo of sorrow. The air inside our once comforting room seemed almost suffocating. My bones seemed to creak with every movement I made. My gut seemed to scream in utter anguish from the moment I had awoken to now as I laid in a heated bath as maids surrounded me in sponges of lavender and vanilla. One would think the act of bathing in perfumes under candle light would be relaxing but it was anything but. I felt as if something was coming. Something harrowing was brewing in the palace like a hidden beast awaiting the moment when I least expect it to pounce.

I was in a constant state of anxiety and fear. Of what? I wasn't sure. That was the problem amongst itself. Here I laid in a state of fear of an invisible foe. No way to prepare for the battle about to arise. No. I was to walk into battle with a white flag of desperation.

"Your Highness?"

"Yes?"

I still wasn't quite used to answering to such a title that sometimes I would forget to.

"You seem to be quite lost in your own thoughts," the maidservants giggled, "envisioning your ceremony, I'm assuming?" The brave maid asked with a teasing smile.

To think my state of anxiety could be misinterpreted as excitement.

I put on a fake smile, "Ah, yes...I'm quite..excited for the event."

The maidservants peered at one another as they poured perfumed liquids into the heated tub with giggles and side looks.

Another peered up at me with big eyes and a quirked smile, "What's he like..? His Highness, I mean..?"

I scrunched my brows in confusion before answering, "Do you not know who your own soon-to-be king is like..?"

"Oh no, Your Highness," she giggled, "Each maid is assigned to a specific royal. I was brought here to serve you, no other."

"You mean, you've never seen another royal besides I?"

"Of course not, Your Highness," she said it as if it were obvious, but I was extremely puzzled by her statement.

I peered around the room at the other maidservants by the tub peering up at me with large eyes of curiosity.

"Are all of you only here for me?" I asked mystified. They all nodded.

"But what of those who work in the kitchen? Surely they see all those they serve."

They shook their heads. A small brunette spoke up, "No, Your Highness, those who work in the kitchen remain there unless asked for as a bed warmer."

"Bed warmer?" I asked horrified, "You've been asked to sleep unwillingly by men?" I peered at the faces of the poor girls around me.

"No, Your Highness," she giggled followed by small giggles across the bathing room, "We aren't forced, you may decline. However, when asked by a royal there are not many who would decline." She implied suggestively.

Has Alastair ever..?

"Has my mate ever..?" The maids grew silent as they peered sadly at me.

Oh god...he has.

One spoke up, a pale red head, "Not many times, Your Highness, but a few times he's asked for some to accompany him for a night," the other maids peered at her with looks of disapproval, "but only once; he never slept with the same girl twice." She grew silent with crossed arms as the other maids continued with their disapproving looks.

He never slept with the same girl more than once...perhaps because he didn't want to get attached to any of them...

Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking.

I knew of his past...conquests, but it affected me nonetheless when the topic would arise.

The image of him with another was anything but pleasant. It left a painful pounding in my heart, a boulder of anxiety in my stomach, and a bitter-like aftertaste in my mouth.

He didn't know of you yet. He loves you. Only you.

I repeated like a continuous cheer in my head.

I took a deep breath releasing any stress bottled inside to be released along with the excess carbon dioxide.

I allowed myself to remain only in the moment, surrounded by the careful maids pouring scented liquids down my body. The moment my mind would stray, I would pull it back on a tight leash leaving it tied to a pole in the back of my mind. Thinking negative thoughts on the day of my own mating ceremony will only create negative outcomes. I want today to be special.

I took another deep breath as I was swept from the marble tub into flush, white towels and ushered back into our room. I was immediately met by two maids holding up a silk, white attire adorned in beautiful embroidery. The collar was circled in diamonds along with a see-through material around my neck reaching just beneath my collarbone in a subtle yet elegant way. They placed a classic golden egg-like casing around my neck along with a royal symbol on top showing I was to be taken by a royal. It was a sign of engagement until our actual ceremony where it would be replaced with our official mating symbol.

I played with the necklace as they did my hair. They had attempted to put makeup on me earlier but I had but crawled into a small ball in fear. I was a man not a woman. There was no way I would want a group of women to paint my face. Nope. Not happening. So they decided to settle for just doing my hair, which was taking much longer than I had thought. I was contemplating asking to them stop, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings as they've been working on it for so long. It wouldn't be fair to them, so I just stood there suffering in silence as I played with my engagement necklace.

Finally, it had ended with a group of smiling maids as I was ushered down halls and flights of stairs until I got to a small golden lit room. There sitting on top of a cushioned chair was Alastair in a white garb similar to mine except his was low necked and sleeveless, exposing a golden ring around his bicep with a dark blue stone in the center with a golden lettering engraved along its crevices. I tried to see what it said but he shifted in my direction at my entrance, pulling the ring out of view. A huge smile adorned his face as he took in my small form.

"You look so beautiful, my love."

"I feel like a girl in this dress," I laughed as I walked across the room and settled into his arms, nuzzling against his warm neck.

He laughed, "Love, I'm in a 'dress' as well. As much as I dislike it, it's part of the tradition."

"I know," I mumbled into his neck as his arms tightened around my waist.

"I missed you," he whimpered into my neck.

I lifted my head and cupped his face in my hands as I straddled him.

"I missed you too," I pulled his lips down to mine. The moment his lips touched mine it seemed as if all former anxiety left my body in a wave of pleasantry. His lips moved gently against mine in a silent dance as his tongue lightly brushed against my bottom lip before he pulled away.

"Let's go before I take you right here," His voice seemed strained and husky as he stood up, cradling me in his arms as he carried me from the room.

I rested my head against his shoulder as I closed my eyes, taking small, steady breathes as I encased myself in his scent and gentle hold. He always managed to make me feel so safe and fragile in his arms, the way he cradled me oh so carefully against his muscular chest as if I were made of the most delicate of glasses.

He set me gently on the ground as he cupped my face in his large hands and peered into my eyes with glowing eyes.

"Ready to do this, love?"

I smiled, "always," I breathed.

He smiled as he bent down and kissed my forehead. I brushed my fingers through his thick, silky raven hair as I relished in his touch.

He pulled away slowly as if he wanted to relish in the moment as well. He took my hand in his he pressed his palm against the large wooden door leading to the unknown.

"Let's do this," he breathed as he pushed. The door squeaked open revealing a large, golden ballroom. The room seemed to almost sparkle under the chandelier light. It was filled to the brim with men and women in an exquisite dress. The women stood in glittering gowns as expensive jewelry enveloped their entire wear. The men were in posh, colorful suits with metals draped across their chests, revealing their titles and class.

As much as a mating ceremony is about the couple of the night there are many who come from far and near seeking a high-class spouse, whether because they haven't the need to find their real mate or family pressures for a wealthy spouse. I didn't quite understand the mindset, but I'm not one to judge others intentions as I am neither them nor them I. I can only hope that there are those who find their true mates tonight rather than a wealthy supporter they're to superficially call there's.

All eyes seemed to be on us as we made our entrance into the room. Alastair walked with a stride of confidence and grace to his step as I stumbled awkwardly beside him with a tight grip on his hand. I was afraid of letting go and getting pulled into a sea of perfumes, diamonds, and fake smiles. People of wealth and class approached Alastair and me with a fake smile plastered across their faces as they gave their good wishes on our mating.

I felt Alastair visibly tense as the endless stream of fake smiles and conversations seemed to stream on as a never ending cycle of misery. I just wanted to pull him away from all the fake and glitter but I knew that I couldn't. This was something we had to do before the ceremony started, fake pleasantries and empty smiles. All I could do is be by his side the entire time and remind him that this was only a temporary situation and that soon we'd get to the main part of this ceremony; the reason why we're here in the first place.

I squeezed his hand and felt a returning squeeze as I traced the crevices of his hand. I tuned out everyone around me and just listened to his soothing voice as he spoke to one of many faceless people.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice, "You look beautiful, River."

I looked up and locked eyes with a grinning Derek alongside a bright-eyed Isaiah.

"Thank you," I smiled along with Alastair going, "He always looks beautiful."

"Yes, yes," Derek raised his hands, "we get it, Ali, you're smitten." He teased with a smirk.

"Don't call me that," Alastair growled, but you could so a small smile forming on the edges of his lips.

They continued scuffling jokingly in the background as I looked up at bright-eyed Isaiah.

I beckoned him towards me until his ear was by my mouth, "Did it..work out..?"

He turned his head with scrunched brows and a puzzled look.

"With Derek, I mean.."

The brightness in his eyes seemed to darken slightly before going to its previous bright state, confusing me.

"It's..good." He smiled, the smile was small and almost..broken.

What happened?

I turned to Alastair and stood on my tippy toes as I whispered in his ear, "I need to talk to Isaiah privately, I'll be back soon."

He looked a bit confused but he nodded and I kissed his cheek quickly before latching my hand with Isaiah's and dragging him to the safest corner. The area beside the washing station seemed to have fewer people so I led him there before turning towards him with a determined face.

"What happened?"

He seemed startled by my straightforward approach before taking a deep breath and combing his fingers through his light brown hair.

"It's..complicated."

"Did he find his mate?"

"No!" His voice raised before looking around at the strange faces people were giving him and taking a breath, "No..not yet."

"Okay...did he reject you?"

"I haven't told him anything..yet."

I took a breath, "Isaiah, Izzy," he looked up with wide eyes as I used his nickname. I don't know, it felt right. "What are you waiting for?"

He seemed startled by my question and was silent for a few minutes before looking down at me, "There's nothing to wait for." He smiled, "I've come to this conclusion lately that no matter when or how I say it..nothing will change. He'll never love me the way I love him...but," His eyes lit up, "I don't care. As long as I get to be along side forever, that's all that I want."

He seemed so..calm.

"You don't care if he's with..another?"

"I don't want to think about it," He sighed, "I'm happy right now. I'm happy being by his side. Thinking of if's and when's will only hurt. It's not worth it."

I see where he's coming from. Just staying in the moment, but he isn't being realistic. When not if, Derek finds his mate he's going to be devastated that he didn't even get a chance to even try..to even confess. But then again, if he does confess and Derek feels the same and they become lovers and then Derek leaves him when he finds his mate, he'll be devastated. Maybe..maybe what he really needs is a fresh start.

But...I can't tell him that he won't listen. The thing about being the one giving advice is knowing who it is you're giving advice to and I know Isaiah enough to know he's stubborn. So very stubborn. He won't listen if I tell him to leave Derek. He'll probably just hate me for even thinking so.

"Just...be happy." I struggled.

"I am," He smiled.

That's all that matters, for now. When the bad arises we'll deal with it then.

I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around me like a comforting quilt as a deep voice resounded from behind me.

"Mind if I steal my mate back?"

Isaiah nodded as he glanced at Derek who was flirting with a group of girls with a smirk. His eyes seemed to cloud over a bit before smiling at Alastair and I and making his way to Derek. I watched as he smiled as Derek pulled him under his arm and continued talking to the girls with a charming smile. Isaiah seemed infatuated as he watched Derek smile and laugh with the girls.

He's going to get his heart broken...

I sighed.

"Love?" I almost jumped at the sound of Alastair's voice, forgetting he was there.

God, it's our mating ceremony and I'm getting more wrapped up in others love conquests than my own.

"Sorry," I sighed, "I'm here," I smiled up at him.

"Is something wrong, love?" His brows scrunched together as his stature tensed.

I stretched up on my tippy toes and kissed his nose, "Nothing's wrong. I was just spacing out."

I cupped his face and continued to kiss every crevice I could, forgetting about our...company.

Whistles and throat clearing resounded around the room causing me to blush and quickly pull away. Alastair looked like he was on the verge of laughter but he composed himself and took my hand.

"I would love if you danced with me, love." My eyes widened.

I don't know how to dance...

He must have read the utter terror on my face because he quickly kissed my nose and said, "Don't worry, love. It won't be anything complicated. Just two people in love swaying to the sound of music."

He took my hand and kissed my palm as he looked into my eyes with his gentle hazels. My god, every time his eyes met mine it's as if I melt onto the floor into a puddle of River goop.

I nodded, though the moment we stepped onto the dance floor we were surrounded by a circle of gowns and glitter and I had this sudden urge to just melt into the floor and disappear.

I peered around the room, at all the glam and glitter watching from the sidelines, and felt myself begin to tense up in anxiety. I never liked being looked at, being judged by those who were all clearly much better looking than I. I knew what people saw when they would peer at my face. As much as Alastair has tried to boost my ego in the past few months, I knew deep down that if I weren't his mate he'd be peering at me with the same disgusted gaze as people always did. He denies it because he's never looked at me as anything other than his mate, so he can't possibly visualize what it would be like to look at me as anything but.

I knew that and I always will.

Like a nagging bird pecking anxiously at the back of my mind waiting for the moment to take my sanity and fly away with it, leaving me as nothing but a crying, empty mess.

Alastair smiled down at me with a charming, bright smile as he swept me gracefully across the floor. I could barely feel my feet touch the ground as he looked at me as if I were the only person in the room with him. Just me and him, no one else.

But he didn't know of my fellow companion alongside us. One that I've spent my whole life fighting and struggling against. I hoped he had gone after my time back in the dungeon with Alice, but he had never gone. He was always there, just dormant. And it was this moment when he had woken from his deep slumber and wanted to play, but I wouldn't allow it. I didn't want to go back there. Back to that dark place I had left so long ago. I would fight. And fight, I shall.

I closed my eyes and I rested my head against Alastair's shoulder as he glided us, oh so elegantly, across the ballroom floor.

It was so peaceful in his embrace, the monster inside me seemed silent during this time. As if he were defenseless once Alastair would wrap his broad arms around my small form in a comforting embrace. That's why I disliked it so when we had to pull away from our serene bubble to continue the ceremony.

It was time for the endowment part of the ceremony. It was an important part of the ceremony for the people especially. A representative from each part of the kingdom would bring a present which represents their village to show their support and good wishes towards their soon-to-be kings. Whether it be a jewelry or food it was a way for each village to show their support and love towards their next leader.

We were seated in two red cushioned thrones as representatives approached us with pleasantries and gifts. It was going well. Each representative we had faced so far were humorous and kind, each bringing a prized item from their town and giving their best wishes towards our mating.

I was giggling with Alastair as he tried to feed me a fruit from one of the representatives when the next representative approached us and I felt all the color drain from my face.

No.

Why?

He peered at Alastair and me with a fake smile plastered across his vile face.

Disgusting.

As he got closer and closer I felt a nausea form in the pit of my stomach.

No.

Alastair began rubbing circles on my back as he looked at the vile man and me with a confused expression.

"What's the matter, love?"

Why now?

I was finally happy. Or least getting very close to it.

Tears of frustration began to well in my eyes as the vile man's eyes widened.

"Your mate is beautiful, Your Highness." He smiled at Alastair.

My eyes widened at his statement.

Did he not recognize me or was he mocking me?

Does he think I'll just go with this?

No.

I'm not the same.

I'm not afraid of him anymore.

He no longer controls me.

I tried to speak but it was as if my mouth wouldn't allow it. I felt my body begin to shake as he smiled in my direction.

Why?

Why can't I say anything?

Why does he still control me?

Tears of frustration made a free fall down my face as I grounded my teeth in aggravation.

I tightened my hold on Alastair's hand as I sent him a look of helplessness.

His eyes narrowed as he looked back at the man.

"Stand where you are." His tone was authoritative with an underlying tone of suspicion.

The vile man stopped in his place, no longer making his journey closer towards us, sending Alastair a quizzical look.

Alastair stared at him with a scrutinizing glare as he brought my hand to his lips, "Who are you?"

The vile man's brows rose, "Jack Sutton, Your Highness."

His voice was causing shivers of nausea to run up my spine.

Go away.

Make him go away.

Alastair looked in my direction and I turned my head as our eyes connected. I don't know what he saw in my eyes but whatever it was made a deep, guttural growl to rumble from his throat.

"I don't know what you did to my River," the vile man's eyes widened at my name, "but I'm contemplating between just ripping your head off or pulling your heart from your chest and feeding it to you," the vile man began to visibly sweat under Alastair's raging glare, "you have thirty seconds to redeem yourself."

"R-River?" The vile man stammered.

"I don't want to hear my name coming from your vile mouth," I growled. I didn't know where my sudden surge of bravery was coming from, but I wasn't complaining.

His eyes heated up in anger as he began to visibly shake, "Is that any way to speak to your father?"