^^My cute baby River^^

"Nobody is too busy, it's just a matter of priorities."

Chapter 13

River's POV

It's been days since the moment I felt the soft touch of his lips against my own. Since then I've dreamt of kissing him once again, to feel his soft lips against my own. Alastair never seems to be around anymore. He's barely touched me in days and it felt as if my skin was burning for his soothing touch.

He doesn't sleep with me at night anymore. We no longer sleep cradled against each other as he whispers sweet nothings in my ear, rather I spend the lonely nights alone in a cold bed dreaming of his return while he spends the nights in his study. He claims it's because of all the paperwork he must get done, but it doesn't add up. He has a desk in his room. Can't he at least do it here so I can see him?

I miss him.

I'm beginning to worry. Has his heat gotten to the point where he can't be around me? Does he no longer find me attractive?

I wouldn't blame him...I couldn't quite figure out why he had considered me attractive, to begin with...

But through all the insecurities I worried more about his heat. What if his heat is getting to the point where he can't be around me? Why won't he tell me?

What if he isn't eating enough? He's been locking himself in his study for days now with no comings or goings. Oh God, what if he's in pain and I haven't done anything?

The fear ran deep in my blood as I rushed out the room in the direction of his study.

I hit a hard, solid form and fell hard on my butt.

"Whoa, careful there."

I looked up to a nervous faced Michael.

He took in my face with screwed brows.

"What-"

"Michael you have to help me," I rushed out.

"With..?"

"Alastair."

He sighed, "okay, let's get your cute tush off the floor before you tell me what the idiot did this time."

He reached down and picked me up by the waist, setting me carefully back on my feet.

He took my hand before pulling me into a marbled, white room across the hall.

The room smelled like alcohol and herbs. Across the walls in wooden frames laid lists of medical herbs and their uses, along with a drawing of each herb. On one side of the walls laid a small hospital bed along with a small table with utensils next it. The other side laid a glass cabinet with bottled herbs and scrolls. In the far back of the room was a desk with piles of papers. The top, visible ones seemed to be covered in drawings of herbs and the human autonomy.

"Welcome to my humble doctor's office," he peered around the room with a look of pride and content. He sat on the small hospital bed and patted the space beside him. I sat down just as he began to speak, "so tell me did Alastair hurt you..?"

"W-what?! No!"

How could he think such a thing? Alastair was the kindest most gentle person I've ever met.

"Oh," he looked surprised, "then what is it?"

Does he have a record of hurting his past lovers..?

"He's been locking himself in his study for days now..I'm nervous." I looked down at my hands.

"There's no reason to be nervous, that's totally normal."

I looked up at him, "It is..?"

He smiled and took my hands in his, "you seem to be quite the worry wort, huh cutie."

I look down at our hands, "Anyone would be nervous when their mate ignores them..."

I felt a warm finger draw my head up, "he's absorbed in his work. Nothing more. He does this every now and then; he ignores his duties for too long and then spends a week of all-nighters catching up like a complete idiot."

"But-"

"But what?"

I tried to look down, but Michael had a tight hold on my face.

Michael's eyes squinted as he looked in mine. I tried to look away, but I couldn't.

"Are you afraid he's losing interest in you..?" He asked in a disbelieving voice.

"Is that so hard to imagine?" I laughed without humor.

"Yes."

I tried to laugh again but his serious expression held me in my tracks.

"I don't know what happened to you in the past that caused you to be as you are, but you have to understand what you are to him. You are Alastair's mate. He can't just lose interest in you. That's not how it works." He laughed lightly.

I smiled at his words.

Mate.

What if I weren't his mate..?

What would I be to him then..?

It was thoughts like these that could drive me insane.

Sometimes I wondered if the love Alastair claims he has for me were merely towards the idea of me being his mate and less towards me, River, as an individual.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into it...

"Come." Michael lifted me up from my seated position by our entwined hands.

I looked up at him quizzically.

"Let's go to your Prince Charming." He winked playfully.

My face lit up at the idea of seeing him.

Once out the door and down the many halls I felt myself stop in my tracks as his study came into view.

What if he doesn't want to see me..?

Michael's face dropped as he stopped next to me, "what's wrong, cutie?"

If he wanted to see me he would have had enough opportunities to do so. He clearly doesn't want to see me. It can't possible be the paperwork. No, that's just a stupid excuse to get me to leave him alone. If it was as much paperwork as he makes out, he could've asked for my help. I've helped him before, haven't I?

"What's going on in that cute little head of yours?" Michael whispered.

You don't want to know.

He pulled me by our entwined hands, "come on, cutie. You can't give up now. We're almost there." He pointed to Alastair's study which was only across the hall.

I shook my head and pulled my hand in protest as he practically dragged me to the door.

"You might hate me now, cutie. But trust me when I say, you need this."

He opened the door with a loud bang, not even bothering to knock. Alastair looked up from his mound of papers in startlement which quickly morphing to anger.

"What the hell, Michael." He growled.

"S-sorry." My voice cracked as I tried to pull myself free from Michael's hold.

He doesn't want to see me. He's angry.

I knew it.

I knew it...

I turned my head away as tears began to fall freely from my eyes.

Don't cry.

Stop crying.

I went to rub the traitor tears away before a gentle finger swept softly under my eyes forcing me to peer up at a soft pair of hazel eyes.

I was pulled from Michael's hold and into a strong pair of arms as Alastair cradled me close to his chest.

"I'm so sorry, love. I don't know what I did, but knowing myself it was surely idiotic."

"You got that right." Michael scoffed from the doorway.

A growl rumbled through Alastair's chest, "I didn't ask for your opinion, Michael."

"Was only stating the obvious, jackass. Maybe think twice before making your own mate cry, huh?"

My eyes widened at the exchange. They really don't like each other, huh?

"It wasn't purposely-"

"Never is, is it?" Michael scoffed.

"For God's sake-"

"Don't bring God into this, Alastair."

Alastair's posture seemed to tense under Michael's words. His hands tightening their hold on me, becoming almost painful.

I flinched.

Is his anger going to cause me pain as it did my father?

No. He's not the same. He won't. He's not doing it on purpose. He-

'Worthless.'

No. Stop. Stop.

"Shh, love," Alastair cooed as rubbed small circles on my shaking form, "I got you. I got you, my beautiful love."

I looked towards the doorway and Michael was nowhere to be seen. When did he leave?

"I made him leave."

I looked up from Alastair's muscular chest to look into his worried eyes.

"I'm so sorry if I triggered something, my love." He cupped my face as he rubbed small circles against my tear stained cheeks, "Your days in captivity must have left scars behind on your beautiful mind. I'm so sorry, love, if only I had found you sooner-" His voice cracked.

"No," I interrupted, "it's not of my captivity that has left a scarring tissue across my being, but my upbringing."

Surprisingly.

He tensed, "what do you mean?"

"My father was a...man full of angst. An angst that he many times would throw in my direction."

He began to shake under me, "he would abuse you?"

I nodded, looking down as tears began to well in my eyes.

Does he no longer want me now that he knows...knows how weak I am...how-

'Worthless.'

"Did he..touch you?"

I looked up at him confused.

I just said he abused me, did I not..? Does abuse not include touching?

"Not physically..."

What is he implying..?

"Sexually.."

My eyes widened, "N-no, he would physically harm me, but he would never touch me in a sexual manner. He would never...I was so disgusting in his eyes."

He let out a sigh of relief as he pulled me closer.

"Thank god, I don't know what I would have done if he had raped you. His death would have surely become more gruesome." He growled.

"D-death?"

He cradled my head against his chest and he kissed the top of my head.

"Of course, no one gets away with touching what's mine."

No. I don't like where this is going.

I pulled out of his hold and took his head in my hands so that he was forced to look at me.

"No, I did not tell you this so that you could hunt down and kill my father as one would prey."

"You can't seriously expect me to allow him to live after what he had done to you?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I-"

"No." His eyes darkened, "I want to see the mongrel scream." He snarled, "I want to see him beg as I keep him teetering between life and death in the most painful of manners. I want to see my dungeons soaked in his blood."

I gasped, "No, you-"

"I will."

I shook my head repeatedly as his words sunk in.

No. He can't. To commit such a gruesome act.

He cupped my face in his gentle hands, "My love, is it so wrong for me to desire revenge against the one who has caused you much pain?"

"Whether right or wrong, I don't believe acting in such a gruesome manner could in any way be classified as right."

Could something so horrid and gruesome be classified as being right..?

No. It just can't be.

"It is," his eyes shone in a courage and determination that mine could never, "if it would mean ridding the world of one more horrid creature, then yes, I believe that would classify as more than right. It would classify as need worthy."

That can't be...it can't...

I turned my head from him, but he only pulled me back as he searched my eyes.

"Do you find me a horrid man?" His voice full of sadness.

I shook my head furiously, "No! I would never-"

"Then why would you think I would do something considered horrid in your eyes?"

My eyes widened at his implication. I didn't know what to say.

I tried to look away but he wouldn't allow it, "No one will ever touch you again. Now that I've found you, I'll never allow pain to come into your grace again. Never. You're mine," he growled, "no one touches what's mine."

My eyes widened at his words of possessiveness.

I placed a gentle hand against his smooth, olive skin. His eyes softened as he purred at my antics.

He placed a hand against my own as he nuzzled against my skin, kissing whatever of my skin he could come in contact with.

I felt myself begin to stiffen as he leaned closer and began to kiss down my neck.

"No," I gasped as he nipped a soft spot on my neck, sending a wave of electricity down to my groin.

He nipped and sucked until I was a shaking, moaning mess beneath his muscular frame.

His hand traveled under my shirt and brushed teasingly against my sensitive nipples.

"Alastair," I gasped.

He seemed to tense above me as he quickly pulled away from his hold on me.

"I'm so sorry, love. I don't know what came over me...my wolf's possessive side began to come out and he wanted to..mark you as his."

Oh...

I reached up from the cold flooring and cupped his face gently in my hand, "I am yours."

His eyes widened and began to darken as he took in my feverish appearance. My face began to heat up under his heated gaze.

"So beautiful," He swept me into his arms, wrapping his arms around my small waist and nuzzling into the crook of my neck, "mine."

I tried to wrap my arms around his chest, but my arms didn't seem to stretch far enough to keep a strong enough hold. So, I clung to his shirt instead, nuzzling into his chest and basking in his masculine scent.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, my love."

"Why haven't you been around me anymore?"

"I had so much to do and not enough time. I didn't want to disturb you by doing it in our room, neither did I want to pull you into my idiocy by asking for help. I pulled many all-nighters, hoping to finish quicker so I could be with you." He kissed my neck softly, "I missed you so, my love."

"As did I, you." My voice trembled as I reached up from his lap and pulled his lips down to mine.

His eyes widened and lips stilled in shock before softening after a few seconds.

He pulled me closer by my waist and moved his lips gently against my own, like gentle waves against a sandy port.

He nipped gently at my bottom lip, asking for entrance. One I gladly granted.

I slowly opened my mouth as his tongue leisurely swept across the crevices of my mouth. As if trying to memorize every inch it could reach. Then his tongue met mine in a gentle embrace. It was as if our tongues did an elegant dance as they moved tenderly against one another across the ballroom that was my mouth. There was no fight for dominance throughout the kiss. No, they just swept softly against each other as lovers should.

Equal. We're equals. Just two lost souls who found love in one another. Nothing more, nothing less.

He pulled away with the last peck against my lips and then softly against my forehead.

"I love you, my beautiful mate." He said tenderly.

His hazel eyes shone with all the love he held for me causing my insides to warm and shudder in pleasure.

And then I said something I thought I'd never say.

"I love you, too."