Dedicated to InsufferableKnowItAl & Alex379 : ❤️

Hermione scrambled out of Severus' bed and snuck back to the Gryffindor common room
Harry grinned at her as she came in, she looked like she hadn't slept a wink.
"Big night?" Harry smirked and Hermione shot him a glare before plonking herself down next to him. "I didn't get a wink of sleep" she sighed in frustration.
"Oh yeah? Sailing in the love boat again?" Harry teased. "No I was being gassed by Sev, he was farting all night, I'm not sure that food agreed with him." Hermione explained.
"FUUUUMES!!!!" Harry squealed, Hermione hushing him as everyone else was still asleep.

"What are you doing today anyway?" He asked biting into a chocolate frog. "You haven't even had breakfast yet!" Hermione laughed, Harry just shrugged and continued to stuff his mush.
"Well, I was going to ask Severus if he'd like to do something together." Hermione sighed.
"We could prank him." Harry grinned evilly. "What? No! That would be awful...." She shrieked but then smirked a little as she considered the idea. "Listen Herms, this is what we're gonna do. I have a stash of polyjuice potion vials that the twins gave me, we take the potions and transform into other people and annoy him." Harry beamed with excitement. "You can be Dumbledore, and I'll be the health and safety person from the ministry!" Hermione laughed. "Due to complaints on air quality, from excessive farting!!!" Harry added. They both agreed that they would pay him a visit later.....

Severus was sat in his classroom setting exams for the week ahead. He was very surprised when Dumbledore barged into the room. "What is it Albus, I am rather busy." Severus sneered.
"I come awaiting Pervious Wankmeov from the ministry, he is in charge of the health and safety Department, he wishes to see speak with you Severus." Dumbledore explained. Severus arched an eyebrow at the head master. "Albus, why do I not know of this man?" Severus sighed.
"He is originally from the Romanian ministry, but he's been appointed a new job here.

"So anyway Severus, how are things with your lovely little girlfriend?" Albus grinned. "If you are referring to Hermione, we are very happy." Severus groaned. "I am sure you are! Did you ever find that wand of yours Severus?" The old man smirked. "Albus..." Severus warned. "I bet she's a good shag, is she not?" Dumbledore inquired innocently. "ALBUS I will HEX you if you speak of my love that way again!" Severus seethed into the old mans face. "Very well Severus, I do apologise. She does have a nice pair of boobs though doesn't she...." The old man trailed off
and exited the room, leaving Severus with a face like thunder. He entered the room again 10 minutes later with a strange looking fellow, who Severus assumed was the health inspector.

"Severus, this is Pervious Wankmeov." Dumbledore turned to the odd looking man and introduced severus as Hogwarts greatest potions Proffesor to date. Severus felt smug, and shook the mans hand willingly. "Yes, I have heard so much about you Professor Snape, you are quite the celebrity in Romania." pervious smiled. "Really?" Severus asked in utter disbelief. "Oh yes, you are quite admired for your potions and your rumbling...Voice" Pervious cleared his throat.
"What do wish to discuss with me? As I am a very busy man" Severus Grunted at Pervious.

"Air pollution levels, around the dungeons. I have received complaints of bad smells, coming from this classroom, students are entitled to clean fresh air." Pervious explained. Severus was infuriated. "I can assure you, my potions are not polluting the air." Severus sighed. "I'm not talking about your potions Professor Snape, but your flatulence." Severus went bright red, "Please Wankmeov....... if you are here to waste my time I will not be satisfied, and a complaint will be made to the ministry!" "I'm not wasting your time, I am very serious. I want you to do something about it before next week!" Pervious demanded becoming irritated by Severus' attitude. "Fine! I will see to it!" Severus boomed.
"Thank you Severus, we must be going. One more thing though, maybe. You could incorporate a butt plug into your sex life?" Dumbledore smirked not realising he and Hermione were slowly turning back into their true selves.

Severus' face turned to thunder, "YOU LITTLE SHITS!!" He roared as Harry and Hermione ran out the door...