[Flashback]

  "Tae," 

  He was halfway across the station when Jungkook's voice called him to run faster. Though his legs were longer, he hated that his steps were slower than his friend. A huge backpack was slamming against his back with each movement of his body, his palm clammy where he gripped the straps, heart beating faster than the tick-tocking of that big platform clock. City lights were fluttering under the moonlight, stars glittering far above. The breeze whispered through his ear along with the whistle of the last train to Seoul.  

  "Oh shit!" Jungkook's sneakers smacked against the stair when he mounted the train,  a hand pushing the glass door from closing, another hanging in the air for his friend, "Hop on." 

  "Agh—" Taehyung made a low groan as he took his hand. In a fraction of second he was yanked with a jerk and his feet landed beside Jungkook. 

  Automatically the door closed behind separating them from the city noises. 

  "You,"  Taehyung bent over, gripping his knees, breathing hard. "You crazy? Your hand would get squeezed in the door."

  "It wouldn't, but," Jungkook was pressing his back against the wall, panting. His creamy skin flushed, hair dishevelled, face showing serious concern, "What'd happen if you tripped?"

  "You'd catch me." Taehyung smiled, still gasping for air. 

  "F*ck." Jungkook groaned and laughed. "Bad idea to follow you like a fool." 

  "So you're admitting you're a fool?" Taehyung teased leaning in close to Jungkook, laughing. 

  "You're fucken crazy."

  "I'm confident. We're going to become famous one day."

  "Overconfident." 

  "Umm no." Taehyung reached for his hand,  seren curiosity in his big eyes now, "Just promise me you'll never leave my hand. Always stay by my side."

  "I will." Jungkook whispered as he held his hand tightly in his fist, making a silent promise— "I will."

[End of flashback]

  ………… Memories flashed through Jungkook's mind; those whispers and giggles over nervousness and fear of leaving their homes for the first time, moving to a big city with dreams pooling their eyes. He remembered vividly the words he said that day. Today, looking into Taehyung's big brown wounded eyes, he felt a bit ashamed for not keeping his promise. 

  He was ashamed. 

  And lost. 

  He saw Taehyung close his eyes without speaking and didn't open them for a while, he did this in a way that made him weirdly nervous. The weird part was Jungkook could do the only thing at that moment— stare. 

  So many years passed, still he could read his friend like an open book and knew deep down he was just angry with him but had never forgotten. He watched him pressing his lips together in a manner to suppress his anger. He also seemed to be holding his breath. Certainly his presence was making his friend uncomfortable and maybe he wanted him so badly to disappear but that wasn't possible without moving his legs which seemed like they were jammed on the ground. 

  Taehyung looked so good. Better than he'd seen him on the television screen and the covers of various national and international magazines. The shirt was decent but a little loose in places where his curves were at, the maroon and green repp-stripe silk tie and brown leather belt giving a classic look. Everything looked good on him. His angelic features made every outfit look gorgeous. 

  Although his eyes were closed, he could see  movement of his iris frequently. The tiny furrow between his brows had highlighted them. A faint flush staining his cherub cheeks. 

  What's going on inside his head— Jungkook was dying to know. 

  Taehyung sighed, turned his face towards the duo who were now laughing for God knew what reason. 

  "Excuse me." He said to the girl present there and looked at her, "Miss…"

  "Jennie," She reminded him again, "Call me Jennie."

  "Jennie." He said dryly, "I'd like to talk with you more but I'm sorry to say I've to go for now."

  He got silent, her face fell but she did put on a quiet, sweet smile, "It's ok. There's always a next time."

  Taehyung nodded silently. No enthusiasm, no emotion. 

  "Where are you going by the way?" Jimin said. 

  "In the hotel."

  "Now?" Jimin was seriously curious. He left his chair assuming something must have happened. Something seemed odd, Taehyung never ditched his work before. He was about to ask him for the reason when Namjoon with three more people: the hairdresser girl, a spot boy carrying water and the manager Seokjin entered the tent. 

  "The scene is ready, finally." Namjoon announced by clapping his hand twice in the air, ignoring the unfamiliar boy and a teenage girl present there, he went straight to the actors. The script rolled in between his arm and chest. He was about to discuss the next scene with them, but first—  "Taehyung and Jimin, get your makeup fixed. This scene is going to be a bit emotional." 

  "Namjoon," Taehyung started, 

  "I know it took us longer to arrange the things—" 

  "Namjoon," Taehyung called him again, this time louder, "Cancel the shooting for today."

  The director's jaw dropped, "What?" 

  "Please cancel the shooting." Taehyung repeated, looking straight into his eyes. 

  "Seriously?" He was probably not expecting such a statement. However he was well aware of the leading actor's temper but what exactly had pissed him off this time, he'd no idea. 

  Getting the thick tension floating in the space between them Seokjin decided to open his mouth, "What's the matter? Is everything fine?"

  Taehyung exhaled heavily. Reached for his jacket suit resting on the grass, which thankfully wasn't near the man who'd unexpectedly appeared here in his workplace, otherwise he'd have to leave it there. 

  "I'm going to the hotel." He said hanging it over his shoulder, didn't care to dust off the tiny grass particles sticking on it. 

  "Only a couple of shots are left, Taehyung." Namjoon was visibly frustrated. A moment ago he was literally fighting with a spot boy for not arranging props quickly. And now when everything was settled, he'd to hear this. He sighed, asked him to think again, but Taehyung cut him immediately. 

  "We could do it tomorrow, we're going to stay here for a long time."

  "But the park isn't booked tomorrow." Most importantly. 

  "Then change the scene. You're the director, you could do that right?" 

  Namjoon stared at him. 

  "Why would he? He's doing his job. And you should too." Seokjin looked damn serious when he said that. Amid all the negative remakes he'd to hear behind Taehyung's back, 'unprofessional' was the last phrase he wanted to hear. "We all are going to the hotel together after finishing the shot." 

  "Sorry," Taehyung's words came out sharper than his glance, as if the final statement, "I'm not staying here anymore."

  Seokjin didn’t speak. Namjoon didn’t either. This stretched on a while and Jimin broke the silence. 

  "I think his headache has gotten worse. He must be exhausted." What else could it be, Jimin settled his mind with it. "Let's not pressurise him, cancel the shooting for today. He'll be refreshed tomorrow."

  "Alright," Namjoon lifted his hands up in defeat, "I'm wrapping it up. But not cancelling the scene. It's important." He left with the spot boy and the hairdresser followed. 

  Seokjin stayed at the same place. Frowning. Arms crossing over his chest, fingers drumming against his biceps, watching Taehyung run his hand through his hair nervously, avoiding looking at him and that certain boy who was standing a couple of feet before him. 

  "Take some rest." Jimin gave his friend's shoulder a gentle squeeze, "I hope the headache will be gone by tomorrow."

  "I'll make sure of that." Said Taehyung then suddenly remembered, "Oh about the reservation—"

  "I'll cancel that. Don't worry." Jimin assured him with a grin. 

  "Thanks." Taehyung was feeling slightly better, not entirely though. How could he be when two dark tormenting eyes never had left his face for a second. 

  He should be going now. 

  Hastily when he turned, unwillingly his head shot towards the man he was trying to avoid and the moment his eyes hit him, again the memory of the bullet tearing through his flesh flashed in mind. The vague pressure that had seized his chest all this time twisted again, urging him to run away from here.

  He took a steady step toward the path outside, crossing him, careful not to let his arm brush his. But—

  "Tae," Jungkook grabbed his forearm. 

  A shiver ran down his spine when Taehyung looked up and their eyes locked. Every ending of his nerve screamed like the touch had burned him to the bone. He called him? Why now? Hearing him say his name used to gratify him before, but now it hit him like a curse.

  "How dare you call me without honorification?" He lashed out and snatched his hand away from his grip which was as gentle as ever, he didn't need to apply all his force though. The man said not a word, which fueled his anger. He took a step forward, shoes almost touching, breathing also. "Do we perhaps know each other," He taunted with a bitter smirk, "Mister Bodyguard?"

  Mister bodyguard? Jungkook swallowed his breath.

  "Taehyung-ssi," Jennie's voice interrupted their staring battle. Taehyung had almost forgotten about her. He tilted his chin up, not breaking eye contact. "Uh," She wet her lips and smiled nervously, "Begging pardon for his audacity. He doesn't know how to talk with celebrities." She sounded like a guardian of a little boy being called in the principal's office.

  "Oh!" One brow raised, "I see."

 "Taehyung-ssi, um actually," Jennie, crossing Jimin, came forward, and stood beside him, facing Taehyung, said a bit louder to draw his attention to her and succeeded, "My dad is going to send invitation cards to you tomorrow. Still I wanted to ask you personally that I'll be really really really glad if you come."

  "I'll try but can't promise." Taehyung told her, eyes trained on Jungkook, however he was sure he wouldn't go anywhere where Jeon Jungkook would be, but directly telling her no wouldn't look decent he thought. 

  "It's alright." Said she. "Our men will come to pick you up that evening."

  "Fine then," He murmured and saw a hint of curiosity or maybe tension hardening Jungkook's eyes. He didn't want to know, he didn't care— "See you." 

  Not. 

  Jungkook heaved a sigh when he was finally gone. Slowly but subtly smiled looking down. At least he wasn't ignored by him like he thought before meeting him. Taehyung gave all his attention to him when he was here. Said a few words to him; sweet but mostly sour. This meant a lot. 

  He smiled more. 

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  Taehyung was silent the whole ride to the hotel. Seokjin asked him for water. He refused. Only looking outside the glass window, mostly to the last traces of the setting sun in between the skyscrapers glazed with streetlights. In the elevator he only watched the panel of changing digits from zero to thirty-one. Seemed to be immersed in deep thoughts. 

  "I wish I could read your mind." Seokjin said after pushing the door open for him and when they entered the room he closed it quietly. 

  "Read it." Taehyung left the suit jacket on the floor, reached into his side pocket for the cigarettes.  Lit one and threw the rest and the lighter on the bed. 

  "I don't have superpowers, bro." Seokjin retorted with a huff. 

  "Then just go to your room. Who told you to follow me here?" Taehyung murmured, pressing his butt on the arm of the sofa, took a deep drag and released through his nose. 

  "Ain't you rehearsing the next scene? Namjoon will be mad." Seokjin reminded him and and saw him nod slightly. He unrolled his copy of the script and gave the set of papers to him. "Need my help?" 

  Taehyung shook his head while looking at the cursive print of the dialogues silently.  His eyes were not moving, it seemed like he wasn't actually reading. 

  This carried on for a while.

  Seokjin really wished that he could actually read his mind. Maybe the other could. Maybe. He sighed and asked, "Anything else you want, baby?" 

  "Nothing," Tarhyung coldly said, "Just leave me alone."

  "Are you sure—"

  "Ahh," He yelled out, "You're a pain in my ass. Can't you just disappear from my life and never come back?"

  "I would never do that." Seokjin clearly told him. 

  "At least leave me alone for now."

  "I could do that, but you—*

  "Please."

  "Hadn't your snacks yet." Seokjin puckered his mouth after finishing his words. No reply came from the other boy so he took it as a sign of ending the conversation there. "Alright." He rolled his eyes to the door, tagged it open, "I'm going for now. But will be back when you call me. It won't matter if it's past midnight or before dawn. Okay?" 

  No reply as he expected. 

  "Kay." He sighed, sauntered through the door. 

  When the door shut, Taehyung blinked twice, realizing his eyes were stinging from not blinking for a while. Then he squished them shut as the first tear slipped free. 

  He forgot what he was even thinking. All these years he was just holding his broken heart and suddenly without any notice he stumbled across the person who'd broken it. Wow. Just wow. He didn't know what to think now. He didn't know what to do. 

  F*ck this irony. 

  A few more silent moments passed. 

  His chest felt tight as if he hadn't breathed properly today. Didn't notice when the cigarette in between his fingers burned to its butt and started burning the side of his tips. Getting his senses back by the intensified heat he flickered his fingers abruptly in a way the last of the cigarette flew from his hand along with the script he was holding scattered all over the floor. 

  Dammit!

  His long hair spilled forward covering his eyes when he crawled onto the papers, picked up one, two, three and then left them with a sigh. Sat on his knees looking at the mess he created. 

  Wasn't this a metaphor of his life? 

  Scattered and disheveled? 

  He was fully clothed, not caring to change them. Lifted a hand to touch the place where he was being touched by HIM. It felt so familiar yet strange. The baby-bunny face that was etched in his mind was replaced by a matured, manly face with razor sharp jaws. More muscles, less fat. The gaze though in his big doe eyes remained the same—bold for others, soft for him. 

  He shook his head. Why he was so stupid! Again he was letting him f*ck his mind. Controlling his emotions. Why couldn't he stop those memories from flashing on his mind like reel after reel? 

  Why why why? 

  Exhausted, he laid on his side on the paper bed and remembered how he tried to keep Nana away from Jungkook by telling her an immense amount of lies about his best friend and did the same thing with Jungkook. He remembered how he used to follow them on their coffee dates and appear so suddenly in front of the table with the same excuse every time that he was just passing by and saw them. He knew Jungkook could read it in his face, but he never reacted. In fact he asked him to join them every time even when it pissed his ex to her tail. 

  Stupid. 

  He really had been stupid that day when he followed them to the terrace and found them making out intensely in a shadowy corner. He stood on the stairs being broken. Felt every beat of his heart tolling in the silence. He was still immature, still discovering his sexuality and that one heartbreak led him to find out that he actually was in love with Jungkook. 

  The realization demolded his existence. 

  His entire world seemed to be changed with that one blow. He couldn't share it with anyone, and hesitated to talk with Jungkook. He would, he thought, probably dislike him knowing that his best friend was gay. Jungkook probably would push him away, break their friendship and Taehyung couldn't afford to watch that happening. 

  But that didn't stop him from falling harder for him everyday. 

  Laying on the bed Taehyung used to spend nights thinking about him, daydreamed of himself replacing the girl from Jungkook's side and becoming the main character of HIS love story. The little fence that separated their houses he wanted so badly to climb up and reach his bedroom to talk with him, cuddle him till they fall asleep. 

  The jealousy, the desire, the anxiety urged him to talk with his uncle and to Jungkook to come with him to Seoul. He wanted HIM all by himself. However couldn't bring himself to say it. 

  Until that day… 

  How could he forget their days in Seoul, they were full of excitement, more like adventure. There was disappointment, tension, depression, even poverty, but also love, care and hope. He remembered how he used to put most of his portion of food secretly into Jungkook's lunch box, seeing his hungry Bunny with a sulky chin upset him. Jungkook always nagged him to eat more, asked him why he was getting skinny, he used to laugh and say, girls like skinny boys. 

  He never cared what girls like. Only cared what HE liked. 

  "Stupid, stupid, stupid," He chanted as angry tears gathered in his eyes. "Why did you fall in love?" He sobbed out bracing himself, "You ruined everything. You're so fucking stupid, Taehyung." It'd be better if I died that day.

  That day, when Jungkook left him on the floor, wounded and broken, he could not accept his departure. When he opened his eyes and found himself on the hospital bed, he still couldn't believe he was abandoned. The police declared him as the victim of this case as his own friend, who was now a part of Min Sun's gang, tried to kill him to shut the evidence. They let him go without any further investigation and put all their attention searching for Jungkook, also known as Jkay. 

  They couldn't find him, but Taehyung got to know how Jungkook was hiding everything from him like a pro actor. And he believed his every lie like an idiot. It wasn't like he didn't try to search for him, he wandered almost every corner of the city, downtown, even went to the slum where gangstas lived. They couldn't help much but told him to forget about his friend because in their profession they didn't live long— definitely not when the police were after their asses. Most of the time their bosses themselves killed them to clear their traces. 

  No matter what they said, his heart didn't believe that his best friend was no more. 

  Five years.  Five fucking years he waited for him to come back. He waited for him to ask him one thing: why did he try to kill him that day? Was he just an evidence to him that he tried to perish?
  Now finally when today he saw him there breathing and healthy, he felt relieved but angry— so angry with him. 

  'Tae,'

  Tears that filled his eyes. Taehyung didn’t even try to control it. 

  'Tae,' 

  He just let them fall as the ceiling above him went watery.

  'Tae—' 

  Jungkook's voice had ripped his heart to shreds. But it was so sweet. 

  He closed his eyes. He was so tired. The fear of not seeing his one and only LOVE had always jerked him from restless sleep. But tonight he'd sleep so deeply. 

  "Bunny I," He murmured subconsciously in his sleep, "I missed you."

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  8:45 that night. 

  "207 Augusta Ave?" Frowning at his mobile screen Seokjin asked the cab driver. The guy nodded and stopped the car in a crowded corner of Kensington market. Seokjin shoved the fair in his hand and came out. 

  Shops were mostly crowded with tourists. Some bars and nightclubs were active with 'open' signs. One or two performers basking on the footpath, a few people were watching them. Seokjin looked forward. GPS was signalling him to his left, 80 more metres. He sighed and left the main street. 

  The country was totally new to him and the roads were pretty confusing. Turning a corner he only found a narrow alley to his left. He looked behind, and again to the alley. As there weren't any other options, he took it for the short cut. 

  The alley wasn't totally crowdless. Local teens were playing carrum, chess, being creative with spray paint on the long thick walls. Nobody paid attention to him. He found himself too old for those activities. He sighed and quickened his steps.

  Taehyung was in his mind, he wondered what that stubborn boy was doing right now. Most probably he'd fallen asleep. Should he call him, or send him a text— he was thinking of texting first when a 90 degree turn came, twenty more metres, GPS showed but he didn't like the way it was getting narrower. 

  Only if he'd his phone number— a sulky pout on his mouth appeared.

  His ear alerted him to the noise of someone approaching from behind. He was going to turn but immediately a hand with a strong grip on his wrist slammed him against the thick wall, pressing his cheeks over the cold concrete. 

  "The fuc-" He his eyes flew open. The attacker was stronger, but not invincible. Maybe wasn't aware of his kick boxing skills. He could defeat him easily because his other hand was free. And his two strong legs were unbound. 

  He was about to throw a solid kick directly to his knee when  he heard him, "Don't think of doing that."

  "Oh, for f*ck’s sake," Seokjin jerked his shoulder, feed himself from that man and glared annoyedly looking at him, "Will you stop scaring me?" 

  The man clicked his tongue under his black baseball cap, "Just checking if you're still the scaredy cat or not."

  "F*ck you."

  "Follow me."

  "Aish I'm sandwiched between you two weirdos." Seokjin groaned scratching the side of his head and followed Jungkook wherever he was taking him now. 

  He got his answer pretty soon as the alley ended in between two high-rises and one's basement happened to be a famous fried chicken shop: Knockout chicken. Jungkook had already booked a table for two so there wasn't any problem getting in through the side door, avoiding the long queue in the reception. 

  When the ordar arrived, Seokjin set aside the Swiss cheese and pickles, and drifted his fingers onto the chicken wings. The bite was blissful. He moaned and nodded. These were much better than Koreans' he must agree. 

  "Was he upset?" Jungkook asked quietly. A glass of water only sitting in front of him, his index finger moving in a circle over its tip, but his eyes focused on the person sitting across,

  Seokin lifted his head once and shrugged, "What did you expect, he'd be jumping with joy seeing his ex boyfriend after five years?" A glare from the other side and he grinned, "Ok, ok, friend."

  "First," He sat upright and said, "Tell me why didn't you tell me that you're coming here? You said you were going to Paris?"

  Seokjin shrugged his shoulders up, "I don't know how and when the plan changed," 

  Jungkook knew now. "And?"

  "The director told me a week before. And I couldn't reach out to you because you didn't give me your fucking number. You call me  weekly but last week you skipped."

  "I was busy with something." Jungkook wouldn't tell him about Andrea. He probably wouldn't understand. 

  "Yeah yeah I know. How busy you were." Seokjin snorted. Studying his face for a couple of seconds he said, "You two are the same. Always give the same excuses."

  Mentioning the other person made Jungkook straighten his spine. The glow in his dead eyes returned, only for a moment, however he was pressing his lips together, not going to remark anything. 

  "You two are the same." Smirking, Seokjin repeated. "By the way, aren't you happy seeing him after all these years?"

  Jungkook couldn't reply instantly.  He took a full breath and leaned back on his chair. Usually he didn't like to open up with others but today he felt like….talking, "You can't imagine how much I am, but this meeting had cost me the worst. He's changed. The sentiment, the demeanour have changed, entirely. He hates me now. More than before."

  "He won't if you tell him the truth." Seokjin's voice became soft, "Just tell him how much you cared for him. You even kneeled before me while asking me to stay with him, protect him from the world because the police were after you and you couldn't stay there longer. Trust me he'll be the first to kiss you and maybe want to do the other things," 

  "Stop it!" Jungkook mildly rebuked realizing the discussion was going somewhere else, "Look, I don't have time to invest on your gibrish. Just finish your food and go back to the hotel. He was alone there and the city is unknown. I don't want him to get scared or panic or—"

  "You are an overthinker," The taller guy dropped the last bone to the side bin before attacking the fries. "You know that, right?"

  Jungkook closed his mouth, then opened when he recalled something, "Why didn't you take care of his meals? Why is he looking so lean?"

  Seokjin's hand paused on his fries. Looking at him he huffed a laugh of disbelief, "So it's now my fault why your boyfriend is getting thin?" 

  "I'm not blaming you, but asking you."

  "It's the same. You can ask him now, you'll be seeing him more often."

  "He won't ever want that."

  "Overthinker." Smirked Seokjin. "Didn't you see how he was looking at you? Like he was starving and just a centimeter away of eating you alive. I guess he's still hungry."

  "Stop talking nonsense about him, will you?" Jungkook slammed his hand on the table, it shaked violently and some coke spilled on it. 

  "Al-rrright I'm not talking about him anymore." The older guy raised his hands in surrender. A moment later he said, "Can you send my payments early this month?" 

  "Why early?"

  "You don't know how expensive it has become living in Seoul. Even a packet of ramen is overpriced." A pause, "Six more kids were send to our orphanage and now it's twenty-four. I'm not regretting my dicetion of helping those runaway gangsters' kids to find a homestay, but didn't realize it'd cost me more than a million won per mouth."

  Jungkook didn't think twice before pulling out his phone and input the digits. Within a couple of seconds his screen showed 'done' and he put it back inside his pocket,  "The money is transferred. If you need anything else, tell me."

 Seokjin's phone bleeped inside his pocket, he checked it and said, "Get it. Thanks. Right now I don't need anything." 

  "Ok," Jungkook then pulled out his wallet, flipped it open and yanked out some bucks, "Call a cab and go straight to the hotel." Pushing them towards the older, "He's alone there." He stood. 

  "Um, Jungkook," Seokjin asked as he was going to turn, "He still thinks you've tried to kill him. Ain't you gonna tell him the truth ever?" 

  "No." Jungkook gripped the back of his chair, jaw tightened, sounding more agrsseive than he'd intended, "And I'll kill you if you do so."

  Seokjin didn't flinch, these were their regular conversation, only this time they were having face to face. 

  "Bro," He wiped his mouth clean with a napkin and leaned back relaxing on his chair, "You're deeply in love with him. Admit it. Better confess to him."

  Jungkook pressed his lips together to hold back the words that hit the tip of his tongue, chewed them until it crushed into shreds.  

  "Don't fucking tease me." He lowered his cap and left. 

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I hope you're enjoying this story. Take care besties. Borahae💜