Dear diary,
02nd October 2018.
Tuesday.

Today is one of the best days of my life. Guess what happened today. He sat beside me!!!! We had our class at 9:30 in the morning. I reached there exactly at half past nine. Even today he was late and our teacher was about to send him out but he apologised to her and entered the class. A smile appeared on my face. Later we all were sent out as we didn't complete our homework. I caught him looking at me and i was at cloud nine. Then we entered and our teacher started teaching. It was a boring chapter. We all were continously talking which made a lot of noise and our teacher was annoyed. "Silence" she yelled. We stopped talking. "Mohsin get up and sit near shivangi and aashi you go and sit in mohsin's place" said the teacher. My heart skipped a beat. Is it dream or what!? I pinched myself. Ouch! It hurts that means it isn't dream. He stood from his place and sat beside me. He was too close to me.I felt my heart beat going high. I felt as if my heart was going to blast. Butterflies in my stomach didn't fail to do their job too. My cheeks were turning red. Oh no! I was blushing. I tried hard to stop it. I didn't want him to see me blushing. What would he think of me!? I tried hard and at last controlled myself. Our teacher again started teaching the boring chapter. My crush was sitting near me and i was unable to look at him because i was supposed to listen to the stupid lessons. Our teacher solved sums and let us take a small break. "Speak to him" said my heart. "No don't do that. What will he think of you if you speak first!? So shut up." Said my brain. Both my brain and heart were arguing. " Shut up you both. I don't need your suggestions" I said. I was continously staring at the book. Meanwhile my friend asked something. We didn't know to whom she was talking to mohsin or me? So we both faced each other and had a cute eye lock but soon we turned our face to either sides i was unable to look into his eyes. They had an effect on me. I don't know what made him turn. "I am speaking to you shivangi" said my friend. We were discussing random topics and i asked her how was our other friend gayu. Suddenly mohsin turned to our side and asked if it was the gayu he knows. Wait...Was he hearing me speaking. He was speaking to his friends i suppose. Does that mean he notices me!? My friend said no. As i said he joined the school i was studying in for past seven years my friend speaks to him as she is still in the same school. My friend and mohsin started discussing the things happened in school. And i was a bit jealous. Why wouldn't i be jealous!? He is my crush. I was not jealous but a bit possessive. I cranked a lame joke and everyone were mocking me over that. I didn't look at mohsin at all. I didn't want him to think that my sense my humour is worse because his is good. I cursed myself for doing it. "I am gonna start a new chapter" said our teacher and she went towards the board. Mohsin turned towards me amd asked what did she say!? And i said him that she is gonna start a new chapter. He didn't hear me i guess as i lowered my tone so that the teacher doesn't hear me. He asked me to repeat the thing i said. I usually get annoyed if someone asks me to repeat things. So that i deepened my voice and said it in a harsh tone. I guess it was a bit rude. He awkwardly smiled and said okay. Oh no! What did i do just now!? Why did i do it!? I cursed myself for being rude. At last the class was over and i wished he didn't get up from the seat beside me. I wished we stayed as such forever. But he stood and went put along with his friends and i was waiting for my friends to complete the notes. I was fed up. I wanted to look at him because i can only meet him om sunday. So i asked my friends to hurry up and i rushed out and found him standing there. He was booking a cab to go home i guess. I went and stood beside him not closer to him but a bit far from where i can look at him. I took my mobile out and informed my mom that i will be in home within 15 minutes. I hanged up the call and was pretending to be using my mobile.
My friends came and we started walking to the parking area. Mohsin was walking in front of us. My friend was asking him something. Myself and other friend of mine were mocking aashi. Again i found mohsin looking at me with a smile on his face and when i looked at him he turned away. Now the questions is does he feel the same for me or not!? I wish he feels the same. Yesterday i started a fake insta account along with my school friend just to stalk his account. He account is a private one. I usually don't follow anyone unless they follow me so i was hesitating to give him a follow request so i came up with an idea of this fake account. I gave him follow request from my fake account but he didn't accept it. I felt sad. I wish he follows me very soon so that i would follow him. This ego of mine always spoils things. I got my physics practicals tomorrow and here i am blushing thinking of the things which happened today. I have to wait for four more days to meet him. I wish i stayed in the same school. I would have seen him daily. But if i stayed in the same school i would have not moved on from that toxic relationship i was in. It was not even a relationship. That guy played with my feelings. It was all his mistake but he blamed me for everything and spoiled my name in that school. I wish mohsin doesn't judge me to be bad because of the things he hears about me in that school. And i also wish mohsin doesn't turn up to be like that guy.

~shivangi joshi.
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Hope you like this book.

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