[1 month ago]

OLIVIA HAD lost herself completely- watching a bit of her mother slip away every day was torture for the girl. When Susannah died, Olivia didn't want to believe it at all- Doctors had to drag her out of the room so Via didn't break any machines. However, Via thought that if she didn't believe her mother had died, it wouldn't become a reality.

Dealing with her mother's death was very overwhelming, causing Via to spend every single day in her bedroom alone. She refused to eat, sleep, shower, or get dressed- no matter how many times Jeremiah begged her to unlock her door. It didn't help that Conrad was shutting people out too, staying at Brown College so he didn't have to see anyone effected Jeremiah deeply.

Jeremiah would sit outside her bedroom, even sleep outside in the hall, in case Via had done something bad- Jeremiah had a big fear of that happening. He knew that Via hated therapists and councillors, so just decided to wait for her, no matter how long it took for her to unlock her door and let him in.

The day of the Funeral arrived extremely quickly, it didn't help that Via had taken a lot of drugs before. It was her way of coping, so she didn't have to feel any pain. She hated feeling grief.

Jeremiah linked arms with Via, who was struggling to walk in a straight line. He lowered his voice, almost whispering in her ear so nobody could hear him, "How much have you taken?"

"Leave it." Via groaned, pulling away from him as her voice slurred slightly.

The ceremony was extremely long for Via, sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench with an unfamiliar urge to smoke more weed made time go very slowly. The amounts of weed she had inhaled caused her to feel numb, yet the girl still sobbed loudly- her knees bobbing up and down as she cried into her hands.

Conrad, who she hadn't seen since Susannah's death, sat next to her, holding in tears as much as he could. His hand reached for Via's, as he held it tightly.

Getting through the ceremony was a challenge, but having to see everybody at the Wake celebrating Susannah's life made Via's blood boil. She watched as people who didn't even know her mother walked inside the building, they were strangers to her. They didn't even know Susannah for the amazing mother she was. Via rolled her eyes, not being able to mask her frustration anymore, before turning around to walk away...

"Uh, I'm sorry- Livy?" Belly questioned in confusion, unaware who she had bumped shoulders with. Her face softened, as she hugged the girl, "Hi, uh, I haven't seen you-"

"I'm sorry- I, uh, I was just gonna go upstairs." Via interrupted, her throat burning as she tried to hold back tears, "I, uh, can't be here."

"No, that's okay." Belly nodded understandably, "If you wanted, I could bring a plate of food up to you. It wouldn't be a problem."

Via tried to smile, her voice breaking as she spoke hoarsely, "Thank you."

Via closed the spare room door behind her, breaking down into hysterics almost immediately, holding her chest tightly. The pain she felt was too much, it physically ached her heart, almost pulling the life out of her soul. She couldn't describe how much her heart hurt. She couldn't describe how much she missed her mother.

Her silent sobs became louder as she gasped for air, her legs collapsing underneath her. She knelt on the carpet, trying to cry quietly so nobody outside would hear her.

She retrieved a joint which she had hidden in her small bag, as she shakily began lighting it with her lighter. She could barely see what she was doing, the tears blurred her vision, as she hyperventilated.

"Oh- uh, Ollie?"

The door quickly opened, leaving no time for the girl to hide the evidence of what she was doing. In panic, the girl jumped up, the lighter burning the side of her finger as she did so.

Via cursed, shaking her hand to try and reduce the pain, "Fuck!"

"Ollie..." Conrad repeated, his eyes darting around the room as he closed the door behind him. His softened face turned stern, as his voice snapped, "Are you smoking pot?"

Via wiped the tears from her cheeks, as she defended, her voice slurring slightly, "Go away, Conrad."

However, Conrad had already approached the girl, placing his hands on her face gently to examine her. He scoffed in disbelief, "You're high! I fucking knew it. How could you be high at mom's funeral?"

Via raised her voice, shoving him away from her,  "I'm fucking not!"

"You're pupils are dilated and you reek of weed." Conrad explained, "I'm not fucking dumb, Ollie. What did you take?" He paused in her silence, "Was it just pot? Answer me, Olivia, what the fuck did you take?"

"Weed!" Via shouted, "I smoked weed, Conrad. What did you expect? There's a joint right in front of your fucking eyes!"

Conrad glanced at the joint on the floor again, before looking back at his unrecognisable sister. He quickly lunged forward, picking it up from the carpet, "You need to grow up."

"Grow up?" Via scoffed, as tears fell down her cheeks, "I grew up while you left us to go to fucking Brown!"

Via attempted to leave the room, barging into Conrad's shoulder as she did so, but he had grabbed her arm. He asked, protectiveness lacing through his demeanour, "Do you have anything else on you? Ollie, answer me-"

"No! Just-Just fucking leave me alone!" Via yelled, as she had managed to squirm away from Conrad's grasp an escape through the door. She stormed down the stairs, trying to ignore the staring people gathered around the house.

"Ollie." Conrad followed after her, "Ollie!"

"Fuck off!" Via shouted once more, as she finally stopped storming away and turned around to face her brother. She gritted her teeth, "What else do you have to say?"

Jeremiah rushed towards the scene, "Ollie?" He put his hand on her chest and gently guided her back, "Ollie, walk away. Okay?"

However, Via just kept on shouting, "Don't act like you haven't smoked a thousand more times than I have! You can't fucking-"

"Ollie." Jeremiah warned, placing both of his hands on her shoulder to guide her backwards, "Stop ruining mom's funeral-"

Via frowned at Jeremiah, "I'm ruining the funeral? Half the people here don't even know what mom's favourite colour was! They didn't fucking care about her, until she was sick-"

Laurel interrupted sternly, "Enough!" She warned, lowering her voice, "You need to leave, get yourself cleaned up, and just pray that people forget about this."

Via hesitated, her eyes darting around the room and realising everybody staring at her in disgust and shock. She clenched her jaw, holding back tears of embarrassment, before pulling away from Jeremiah. She breathed shakily, "Let go of me-"

"Livy-"

As Via tried to storm away, she collided into Belly, who was walking towards her with a plate of food in her hands, which soon smudged itself onto Via's black dress- the remains of the food spilling onto the carpet.

"Shit, I, uh, I'm sorry." Belly panicked, "I didn't mean to-"

Belly was interrupted by Via breaking into loud sobs, her head lowering onto the girl's shoulder in sadness and shame.

Belly's arms hugged the girl tightly, before guiding Via out of the room.

a/n:
sorry this is a late publish!