//TW\\

IMPLIED SA
(In the past)

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS/THOUGHTS

IMMENSE DISTRESS

———

The winds were cold... She was the only one not allowed near the fire. The fire raising within the confines of a ruined house. She could hear the chatter... the brief grieving... before it faded into silence. Trophy had found hunting rope a while ago... and used it to bound her to the post of the porch. She felt miserable... Which she felt as if this was a good thing. Everyone told her she deserved it after all. The stars were pretty, at least. She'd never seen them so beautiful and bright before... the open sky really accentuated their beauty. They reminded her of someone... But it was best not to dwell on things you can't have. The snow... pierced her skin and ate away at her. Not that it wasn't before, but, she'd had nothing else to focus on. It stung, not like being stabbed anymore... no, it had been like her bones slowly cracking... in a sense they were, as the fluid in them froze and expanded, and regenerated, only to repeat the process. She wished her nerves would stay frozen, but then again, she deserved this right?

Right?

She had to of. Why else would the world beat her down with such dismay. She must've earned this in some way. What did she do to deserve this pain? Obviously hurt others. She really only did it in self defence, but she did still do it. She only wanted what's best... The best possible outcome, but that doesn't necessarily mean the path to get which was okay. She must've done this.

But... If the path to the best possible outcome lead here... Was this really the best she could've gotten? What everyone else could've gotten? Why was it that every time she'd helped someone, another got hurt in their stead?

...

Cause and effect.

Every action had an equal and opposite reaction. Huh? Wow. How stupid she was. She'd hadn't expected that to apply in this sort of situation. But hey, that wouldn't stop the cold now would it? She was freezing what could be done about that? What she'd done the rest of her life. Suck it up and deal with it. Her eyes continued to lay on the sky above... She'd had nothing else other than the pain to really... Fixate on then. She watched her breath show, and puff up like a cloud of steam above her. Rhythmically, one two three... The occasional heavier breath as the pain worsened and intensified from gruesome regeneration. Her burnt face did not take a liking to the ice as it came into contact with it. The frost bite didn't help either... the silence was comforting, at least. It was unsettling before. Back when her life had meaning, but now? It felt... nice... She closed her eyes, she'd may as well have tried and get some sleep. But...

She felt something brush up against her side, using her shell as a blanket of sorts. Taco jumped, and forced her brittle and chilled bones and muscles to shoot her body to a seated position rather than on her back. Her eyes darted trying to look in her shell. She felt— scared? How unusual. Her wrists burned as she tugged at the ropes which bound her, combined with frostbite, she let out a short, scream which she attempted to silence as to not wake anyone up—

—That's when the creature—or rather—person skittered out of her shell, and scrambled back over to the bush... She saw their small size. Tiny... Big round eyes. Beady like the one she'd seen. They looked scared... She pressed her back against the post behind her, her large withered wings twitched as she stared at the bush... She felt bad. Scared. But... Remorse. That thing had probably been about as chilled to the core as she'd been.

Despite her nerves, and pain, her wide gaze softened into one of pity, and sadness. She opened her mouth, and inhaled, but stopped halfway. Unsure... Her gaze fixated still on the bush... listening... she heard the nearly silenced rattle of the leaves. The poor thing had been shaking, She then continued finally. "I w-won't hurt you..." She wavered, her raspy voice barely even managed a whisper.

The eyes peaked out again... Black beady eyes with purple pupils. But like any other pare of eyes she'd seen. It never spoke, just stared.

Taco swallowed nervously, and blinked... She hoped she'd not scared this child—?—Silly. "I pro-promise..." She choked out, fluid coughed into the snow below. She could've sworn something told her they were scared she'd attack. Taco shook her head, no... no she wouldn't. "I-I... Can't offer you m-much... B-but... I don't mind if you require w-warmth... I d-do n—no-t-t have much to s-sp—pare however..."

The small Object stepped from the bush... She'd recognized their appearance similar to a shadow creature... But this one was more uniform... It nearly... Emitted a sense of fear—but—it disappeared as it approached. Suppressed, almost. Taco didn't feel uneasy for some reason. The small one stepped slowly, each footfall crunching the snow beneath it's feet. Their mouth was covered by a small cloak, which just barely couldn't drape over it's arms.

Taco blinked once more as she stared into the eyes of the smaller being, she softened her gaze completely, and due to her arms being held stationary by the rope, she instead shakily extended her Wing. It nearly crackled as it's stiff joints were forced to move... The child stepped forwards, and quickly huddled up to the side of Taco's shell, leaning on her withered limb. Taco the folded the wing against the kid, and attempted to gently wrap around their freezing body... She felt comfort in helping them. Something in her melted... She felt less rigid... Less hopeless.

Less cold, literally and figuratively.

"I wish I h-had more to offer you..." She muttered shakily... "Tha-That I was w-worth more..." She cried... Tears streamed slowly down her face... and froze on her cheeks. The child remained still, and did not speak. Never spoke. Not once. Taco didn't understand... But something made her feel... Warm inside. "I-I'm s-o sor-sorry..."

There was no reason to be. She thought, as if it just... Popped into her mind. As if she'd never done any wrong, at least not to the child which laid at her side. She felt a bit better... After that...

Like she could rest tonight. Not easily, but, it was better than naught.

———

Fries stared up at the illuminated pair. Father and son allegedly. "We gotta help them—We can't just..." Fries didn't know how to articulate his concern into words. He wished he could've done this sooner—prevented this entire situation... He forced himself to turn his attention to Eraser. He nodded slightly in response, which soothed Fries's nerves slightly, if not a lot. "What do we do?"

"I'm not sure..." Eraser responded. "We definitely need to help them with— whatever the hell THIS is..." He muttered.

Fries nodded—but saw something beyond the man before him... "What the hell—Is—Is that Pillow?!" He shouted, taken aback. The scraping of metal against the dirt below made his ears ache... That, and he was disgusted. Eraser turned to witness the scene in suit.

Pillow had been dragging one of the cages in her lonesome towards the two levitating deities. She grunted and clenched her eyes shut, the metal structure left a drag marks along the dirt as it was yanked along.

Fries was dumbfounded on both her determination, and greed?! He ran over, nearly taking out Eraser in the process. "PILLOW! WHAT THE HELL?!" He screeched, halting right next to her.

She didn't flinch, and proceeded to glance up at him, and then smile. "Oh! It's you! Can you help me?" She asked nearly calm, as Eraser ran up beside Fries.

Fries was shocked, and furrowed his brows. Disgusted. Appalled. "What?! No! NO! Are you fucking kidding?! We need to help them, not lock them up again!" Fries shouted in disbelief of such a request.

"Who's to say we can't do both?" Pillow chimed, taking another heave at the mass of metal. Her strength was surprising all things considered.

Fries turned to get a second opinion from Eraser, who seemed to be pondering the thought. Fries's heart dropped... "Dude... No..." He shook his head, "You cant be serious! Eraser they—!"

"I KNOW! Fuck..." He gripped the sides of his head in thought, taking a sharp inhale. "B-But—... The whole reason we're doing this is because we're in debt..." he conveyed. "We all are as good as dead if we don't— and I KNOW... They're gods. I KNOW they have feelings but..." Eraser sighed shakily, and teared up. "What other choice do we have...?" He whined, stepping towards Pillow to assist.

"Eraser—! No!" *He reached out to grab him, but Eraser shoved him back.

"If you're not going to help, then stand back." He barked through gritted teeth. He seemed remorseful. But, as much as Fries's moral compass directed them to be saviours. Eraser was right. Eraser couldn't afford to lose this. He frowned... Refusing to help... But... Refusing to do the contrary. At least... not now.

Pillow stopped nearly beneath the two, then jumped, and pulled the cage down. And attempted to get it on it's side. So the door could face up. Eraser lifted it from the bottom and tipped it over. Pillow then hopped up again and climbed on the bars. She looked up at Paper and Balloon, and reached up, as she kicked the cage open. She then began to tug them down...

Balloon cried softly into Paper's chest... The darkness of the mindscape was all that surrounded. He'd talked for so long about everything... and yet it didn't help him make sense of it.

Why OJ hated him...

Why Nickel abandoned him...

Why everyone under minded his every move...

Paper wished he could say something to make it better. How he could make sense of the side of his husband he'd never even seen... He found it so hard to believe—that... any of this was happening. He wished he was back at home. And making home cooked meals for the people which he sheltered. He cared for all of them. He wanted them to be okay... He wanted to... Fix it all. He wished there was a button that could've made it all better in an instant.

Paper's frown deepened, "I'm so sorry... That I couldn't have—...didn't help you before... Balloon... I didn't know you were in this much pain—I..." He choked out his own sob... Which didn't ease the boy's nerves at all. "I swear that when we get out of this mess... I'll make it up to you okay...? I swear— I'll talk t-to OJ... He won't ever say those things agai—!"

"I don't want him to pretend not to hate me..." He cried, which made Paper flinch. "I j-just want h-him to... Tell me what I can do... For him to care about like you do..." He whined. Tears streamed out of his eyes, and dripped to the ground.

"I..." He didn't know what to say... How to respond. Before, his anger seemed foreign to Paper... But he knew what it was like to feel unloved and neglected by a parent... His didn't treat him the same after they found out he was 'different' than the other kids. "I'm sorry..." Is all he could say.

"You d-don't have to be s-...orry..." He whispered, hugging Paper tighter. "I-In the end... I-I'm glad you're here for me..." He trailed off. "I'm g-glad you... Haven't left li-like everyone e—e-else..." he closed his eyes, and the rest of his tears fell as he hicc-ed, and sniffled.

Paper's heart broke at the boy's words. He felt so bad that he'd done nothing. He wondered if he could do anything now. "I shouldn't have let them hurt you... I shouldn't have let... Him hurt you..." He growled that last part, and tried to wipe his tears with his free hand.

Balloon nearly reeled back... Heaved... At the thought of... What happened before. Splintered bones... the cracks and crunches. The ripping of tendons and tearing of muscle from ligaments and nerves... The sounds and feelings. And everything that came before... They spiralled through his head. He couldn't stop it... Like the memories of OJ— But a hundred times worse. They couldn't stop. He wished they would. He didn't want Paper to see...

But...

Paper's eyes trailed up as he heard the voices when they began... he wished he didn't. He wished he'd kept his head down. He watched a scene he'd never thought, or want to see happen to one he believed in both subconscious and moral to be his own child. He grimaced as he watched a horrific scene. Memory. "No... Nonono..." He held Balloon closer and shook his head silently, crying. Angry... Devastated. Balloon only held onto Paper tighter... "No...Nono..." He cried. As if that horrid man mangling and attempting such an action wasn't enough?! What is wrong with him?! Why?! He couldn't understand. He didn't want to see this he did t want to believe this happened...

But,

it did.

It did happen.

Paper choked, trying not to scream... Attack the nothing. The memory. He heard the boy in his arms as he cried louder, and grasped at the sides of his head to plug his ears... Paper held him, held him tighter as things only got worse... Worse... and worse...

He was falling.

Paper was dragged down, his eyes shot open in an instant, as he nearly lost instantly lost grip of Balloon. Who'd vanished from his arms, now only at his fingertips as he was yanked down and thrown into the bars of metal below. He yelped and hit the ground hard. Balloon fell down on top of him, and tumbled aside as the the loud clank and clatter of metal was heard when the door above slammed closed. The cage then thrown back face down as the wind and beacon light which once had emitted from Balloon dissipated. His catatonic emission of energy had disappeared into nothingness.

Paper didn't care to look at those who surrounded, he whipped his head back to Balloon, and scrambled to him. His arms wrapped him in a tight embrace... He hugged him close, whispering words of comfort. Sweet nothings in an attempt to keep him from going into such a state of mind again... "I-I'm sorry..." he whispered between his words of comfort. "I-Its goin-going to be okay... It-Its going to be okay...!" He hushed.

Balloon was shaking... The memory was gone. But it also wasn't. It was still playing through his head, but, at least not playing before him. He hugged Paper back, and breathed fast and heavily. God he hated being there... he hated it. HATED. Why...? Why him? He hated this...

Paper hugged him close, Balloon's wings also clung to him, like extra sets of arms. Paper stroked the top of his head, and rested his chin atop the boy's forehead... He wanted to hide him from the words in that moment... He knew Balloon wasn't an infant, but Paper protectively held him in that moment like he was one. He needed the support. Paper didn't want to imagine what would happen if he left him alone in that moment.

Fries was horrified by the emotional state of the two. Paper's eyes... he looked... So distraught and worried... he couldn't even see Balloon's face. But, the shaking and whimpers told Fries enough. He took a sharp, get shaky inhale, and looked away... He hated himself... He wished he could save them now. He'd have to wait, however, until Eraser, Pillow, and the others were occupied.

Pillow and Eraser shoved the cage back through the clearing, and what used to be a camp. They'd need to set up base again, but at least most of their supplies hadn't been blown away in the shockwave. Many began to return... As did Tree and Pepper.

Tree placed Pepper back down only after he was given the all clear. Yellow face and Purple face were discussing roots and rounding the horses back up. Bottle and Pillow paired up to fix the tents... And Fries was sat alone on a rock... peering into the tent with the cage within. Eraser approached, and Fries didn't bother look at him.

"I'm sorry..." He grumbled sorrowfully, "it wasn't in my—"

"—Control?" Fries snapped, not bothering to glare, but his focus ahead sharpened. His gaze sharp enough to kill if it was on someone. "I'm aware." He paused, "But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have feelings, y'know." His arms folded over his knees.

Eraser blinked his gaze on the other man instead to the ground. "I understand... I just wanted to let you know. I don't enjoy this."

"Some of them do." Fries conveyed, specifically referencing Yellow, Purple, and Pillow. Bottle was unsure maybe she was just oblivious. "That's the problem. They don't see them as living beings... they see them as creatures...profit."

Eraser rubbed the back of his neck, "That's not in our control either." He explained in a solemn tone. His look as sympathetic as much as it wasn't. Paradoxically.

"You say that so... Nonchalantly." Fries huffed, now glaring at Eraser harshly. Which made the other man recoil with shame in his eyes. "You don't really feel sympathy for them. You feel sympathy for their situation. Those are two very different things."

Eraser didn't respond. He couldn't find the words to do so at the time.

"We're ruining their lives right now. We should just be telling them that the kid is a god..." Fries complained in a hurt tone. His gaze snapped away from Eraser. As much as he wanted to tell him off.

"We still can." Eraser offered, looking aside, "We could tell them after the buyers pay... That way they have hope. That way... Maybe they can get out?" He shrugged, not bothering to look at Fries after hearing his own words. Greed...

Fries scoffed, disgusted. He shook his head and scowled.

Eraser broke in that moment and finally snapped. "What else do you want me to say?! "Here's the key! Go set em' free!" IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!" He shouted, throwing a hand out towards the two caged within the tent. "You think I want to have this stupid gruelling job?! No! No I don't! But km in serious debt—And I may as well be DEAD if I don't pay up." Eraser gritted, stomping forward and jabbing fires in the chest with his index finger.

Fries got off the rock and shoved him back, "No. because even then, you had a choice. You could've told him to run. WE could've stuck with the mythical creature hunting. YOU chose to tell tree about them. YOU chose to follow through with coming back here... YOU damned them, and that's all there is to it. Life doesn't give a shit what circumstances you're in... It flows depending on the choices you make. Not me, not THEM, you..." Fries spat, then backing up, and storming off without another word. He let Eraser simmer with what he'd said.

There was nothing else to be said.

Paper was backed up against the corner of the cage... He held Balloon and gently stroked his head, gently comforting him as Balloon calmed himself down. He wished he could relieve his pain... Or swapped places in that moment. But there was nothing that could be done.

A crunch of dirt and gravel came from behind the fabrics of the tent. Paper let out an instinctual guttural growl. His teeth clenched as he watched the door.

Pepper stepped through the cloth and she looked down at the two of them. "You're... like—A total mess... oh my god..." She muttered, a bit concerned.

Paper blinked, and scooted back a small bit. "Pepper? What are you d-doing here?" He asked in a near whisper.

"Ugh... When I fell from the sky with Salt— She shattered! And I nearly did too... The trees slowed my fall. A-and the next thing I knew? I woke up here..." She spun her hand in a circle as she explained.

Paper nodded briefly, "ah..." He looked away.

Pepper tapped her foot, and then sighed, she pulled something from her pocket. "They said to give this to you guys." She held out some rationed food. Paper snatched it, and inspected it as Pepper backed off. "This talk, isn't like, over. But I need to get some rest... I'll be back." She hissed, as if they'd done something wrong.

"What was her problem..." He spoke in a bitter tone.

Balloon began to calm in the arms of his moral father. And prayed that this captivity wouldn't be like last... He leaned into Paper'a had as it brushed over his head... He'd never get any sleep after that... But...

This wasn't so bad.

———