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OBA-SAN, HAJIME'S MOTHER, ALWAYS LOVED ART.

she loved all kinds of art, from music to literature. however, her favorite was always painting, adoring how the brush moved and swerved to create a pretty picture. 

and even now, i can tell oba-san feels the same from the wonderful paintings aesthetically decorating her library and the multi-colored paint flecked on her hand, face and hair. 

sitting bored behind the front desk of the library, her eyes glaze over words of a book that i'm sure she has already read before. 

seventeen years ago, i imagined that in the future, oba-san would've become a well-known artist. well, maybe not well-known, but at least an artist. 

she was on track to become one, along with oji-san and she would've been one right now instead of rereading books hundreds of times, locked in this place with endless shelves. she would've had her own proper art studio, selling her paintings for thousands of dollars and attending exhibitions hosted by her colleagues. 

[but mother ruined everything.]

mother, as the oldest child of my grandparents, was set to inherit and take over the library whenever her parents passed away. and when they did pass, both of them taken down by a car crash in the week before i was born, she worked with father and took over the family library for a few years.

but within those few years arguments began between my immediate family and hajime's and anger started to creep in, so my parents left for tokyo and took me with them. 

with other child to take over the library, oba-san had to. of course, she always could've just left the library, given it to one of those businessmen who wanted to demolish it for a high-rise building and let all of her family's work go to waste, but she isn't selfish.

[unlike mother.]

"oh, kichona," oba-san finally notices me, snapping shut the worn out book with a soft thud. she breaks into a smile. "were you looking for a textbook in particular?"

"yes," i nod. "do you have one on japan's politics during the medieval years?"

oba-chan hands not one, but two to me and i take it back to a low table surrounding by four bean bags, enough for not just me but also etsuko, oikawa and hajime who are coming over as soon as school finishes (since they don't have training on monday) for a study session. 

taking a deep breath, i ready my pen and highlighter, open my notebook and take a textbook from the pile i had accumulated in the past hour. 

it's a drag to study while i'm supposed to be on holiday, but if i don't then i'm going to fall behind at school and fail in the upcoming finals. and lose my scholarship, the only reason why i'm at a posh school.

i keep that thought in my mind as i make my way through the content, memorizing and taking notes and learning. i'm up to unit five of chemistry, chemical reactions, when the library doors silently slide open and in walks my three closest friends.

"ki-chan!" oikawa calls out and waves, exuberant as usual. "looking beautiful as usual!"

there's a few giggles from three younger girls, sitting near the entrance.

oba-san glances up from her book again, her mouth twitching into an amused smile. "tooru, how many times do i have to tell you that this is a library?"

"oops," he laughs lightly. "sorry."

hajime starts, "kichona, we got-"

"ice-blocks!" oikawa excitedly interrupts, snatching a bulky plastic bag from hajime's hands and plonking it down on the table as he arrives. he sits on the beanbag next to mine and opens the ice-block box proudly before offering me one of the chocolate covered sweets. 

hajime slaps oikawa's head for forgetting about oba-san's scolding and etsuko laughs, sitting herself in the bean bag opposite mine. "we thought you might've wanted something cold, considering the hot weather and how dull studying is."

"thank you," i say, smiling when i bit into the ice-block to find that it's chocolate mint flavored. 

"i still think we shouldn't be here," oikawa groans, slamming his notebooks down. "it's a good day and we're just wasting it by studying!"

"don't act like you don't need to study, oikawa-kun," etsuko points a finger at him. "if i recall, you got only sixty seven out of a hundred on your last test."

while hajime guffaws, oikawa waves his hands around frantically. "i thought we agreed not to tell ki-chan! ki-chan, know that i was practicing very very hard for an upcoming match because i'm just so hardworking!"

"if you're so hardworking, then get on with studying," i roll my eyes. 

he pouts, "i don't like how you're starting to act more like iwa-chan everyday!"

"shut up, shittykawa."

"iwa-chan!"

miraculously, after a few minutes of grumbling, oikawa finally opens a textbook. silence, as it was before in the library, ensues as all four of us concentrate on studying and processing the information.

two hours pass before i break out of the concentration, not even realizing that i've kept my head bent over a notebook for so long. hajime and etsuko, even though they were the most adamant on studying, have started to doze off, etsuko mumbling chemical equations in her sleep. 

i yawn, reaching over for a cookie from the platter oba-san had placed on the table before closing the library and heading home, leaving the building's keys with hajime. 

the giggling girls at the entrance and an old man, the only other previous occupants of the library have left. it is only me and oikawa. 

my gaze drifts to the teenager besides me and when it lands on him, i instantly regret it. 

for his face is a big distraction, with its pale skin illuminated from the golden sun, sweet chocolate eyes that are soft around the edges, the bottom lip bitten in concentration and the slim nose which his glasses sit upon.

it's my first time seeing him wear those glasses. and i hate it.

i hate how such a simple accessory makes him even more achingly beautiful. i hate how the sun works with him, how it makes his facial features even more gorgeous. i hate how the sun and the glasses, no, how he never fails to make me feel all these different types of confounding emotions with so little effort.

[but i'm lying to myself yet again, because after all i really do love it.]

"ki-chan, you're staring."

the playful tone oikawa says this in makes me flush more then i should, and i'm grateful that hajime and etsuko are knocked out.

he sets down his pen before turning to face me, leaning on his propped up hand, "i thought you wanted to study?"

"i just wanted to tell you to stop knocking my elbow with yours," i say, averting my gaze because i think if i look at him any longer i'll go insane with greed. 

"it's not my fault you're left handed and i'm right," oikawa sticks out his tongue. "should i just go somewhere else?"

"no!" i instantly say to my embarrassment. "i mean, you can if you want but i would prefer if you don't because you would have to take some textbooks away with you and i need some of-"

"okay, okay," he laughs, quietly so that etsuko and hajime won't wake. "i'll stay with you."

we return to studying, occasionally bumping each others' elbow unintentionally at first, but slowly it turned intentional while we keep our mouths shut to muffle the laughter. 

but even though it'll wake hajime and etsuko up, i can't help but want oikawa to laugh freely, laugh so that i can hear it.

the zone of concentration i was in before has vanished, the information memorized being replaced by thoughts of the dorky dumbass who keeps on bumping my elbow for attention. 

and then oikawa sighs tiredly before leaning sideways so that his head ends up on my lap with the rest of his body on his bean bag. he grins up to me, lazily from all of the work. "hey, ki-chan."

his head feels nice on my legs. 

[too nice.]

"idiot," i huff under my breath, lightly slapping his cheek. "you should be studying."

he rolls his eyes. "don't act like you've been studying the past few minutes. you've just been staring at a page, zoned out. possibly thinking about me-"

"go to sleep, will you?" i slap him harder this time and he whines.

"but i want to talk you," he says sleepily and my cheeks heat up again. "you're going back in a few days."

"we'll still talk while i'm in tokyo," i say softly. "we have phones for a reason."

oikawa starts drawing invisibly little shapes on my legs, and i try not to dwell over the abundance of hearts. "will you talk to me as ki-chan or emo-chan?"

"ki-chan."

"good," he sighs in relief. "i don't like hearing you when you're sad."

i'm too touched to respond to this, so silence falls upon us again. he closes his eyes, a look of serenity overcoming his face that almost makes me forget about how empty he really is. 

almost.

the slight furrow in his brow and darker than average under-eyes tell me how troubled oikawa's been ever since history had repeated itself and he had lost against ushijima. again.

so i start humming in an effort to relax him. i hum the tune of the a song from the secret garden by rolf lovland, one of father's old favorites to study to and mother's absolute favorite to play on the piano.

this song, the only song that i know the rhythm and dynamic and notes off by heart has always been ridden with pain from my parents. but now, as i hum with oikawa's head resting peacefully on my lap, a small smile on his face, all i can think about is him. 

given up on studying and still humming, i reach my fingers out to touch and play with his hair. the brown wisps are incredibly soft, sticking out in different directions yet somehow managing to still look elegant. 

his hair feels nice within my fingers.

[too nice.]

his smile begins to widen and cheeks taint with a pale pink while i stroke and play and tangle my fingers within the strands of his hair that messily begin to fall over his forehead. he looks painfully ethereal as the sun sets and the moonlight begins to kiss his skin as the sun did. 

[as i wish to do.]

as the song comes to an end, i smile softly, "you would look pretty with a flower crown."

of course he would, he would look good in anything.

"we should wear matching ones next time," oikawa whispers, still closing his eyes. 

"do you...really think that there will be a next time?"

"of course," he opens his eyes, staring straight up at me in surprise. "why wouldn't there be?"

i feel silly as i mutter, "so many girls want you. how do i know that you won't forget me while i'm in tokyo for someone prettier than even etsuko?"

"because there would be one problem; they aren't you," oikawa closes his eyes and yawns, tipping his head back as if to show off his unfair jawline. "kichona, with us there will always be a next time."

we're being too reckless. too rash and we're going too fast. we're making so many promises to each other that we won't be able to keep. we're fooling ourselves into thinking that despite the short time we've known each other, the universe and all of the stars and galaxies have written that we should be together.

[but i have an addiction to lying to myself, so i tell myself that maybe we are meant to be together.]

"and in that next time, can we do this again?" he asks.

"resting on my lap or study dates or playing with your hair?"

"all," he sighs contentedly. "minus the studying. just dates will be fine. with your fingers in my hair and my head on your lap. oh, and sorry if my head is too heavy by the way. iwa-chan's always going on about how big headed i am."

i laugh. "don't worry, it's not."

even if it was heavy, i wouldn't mind. i like his head resting on my lap and watching him fall asleep more than i should. i like how it means that he feels safe with me. i like how it means that he's comfortable around me. 

his presence feels nice against me.

[too wonderfully nice.]

[ a/n tysm for reading this book <3 ]