[ oba-san and oji-san means aunt and uncle ] 

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I USUALLY NEVER SLEEP IN.

well, maybe that's because i never have the chance to sleep in. between waking up early to get ready for school on weekdays and to study on weekends, i've gotten used to waking up at seven o'clock each morning.

so it's a surprise when i wake up at nine o'clock. majority of the birds have stopped chirping and the morning sun isn't as blinding anymore.

tiredly, i rub my eyes before exiting the guest room and walking downstairs into the living room of the iwaizumis. 

the neat, traditional japanese styled house is empty of people. i'm not too surprised. oji-san and oba-san's work started an hour ago. hajime probably left even earlier to go fit in some extra training before his tournament starts. 

i enter the kitchen to find a sticky note plastered besides a platter of small muffins, information about the tournament like the address and time clearly written out in hajime's slightly blocky handwriting. 

after three muffins, i go back into the guest room and get changed into a simple white polo shirt with a long-sleeved black shirt over and pair it with loose jeans and black boots. 

before slipping my phone into the back jean pocket, i remember the unknown caller. his tournament is starting today as well, if i recall correctly.

my finger hovers above the call button, unsure whether to press it or not. instead, i said a small text message.

good luck.

a million thoughts run around in my head, whether i should say something else. tell him not to make his injury worse? to be careful? that it doesn't matter if he wins or loses? 

and then i wonder why i want a simple text message to be perfect. 

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by the time i arrive at the stadium, it's the first set of aoba johsai against oomisaki high school. morning has passed quickly as seijoh had been seeded and the heat from the afternoon sun indicates that summer is truly on its way. 

though, the heat doesn't seem to affect seijoh's play. they're already at set point while oomisaki high school is stuck more than ten points behind. 

suddenly, small conversations taking place in the crowds stop, and it's almost silence as the setter, who i recognize as oikawa-san, takes the ball.

remembering gokana's request, i take out my phone and begin to film. 

with caution and extreme precision, oikawa-san throws the ball into the air. seijoh's supporters let out a synchronized cheer as oikawa-san gracefully ascends into the air before powerfully hitting the ball into the opposing stadium at the peak of his jump, nobody in oomisaki managing to move quickly enough to receive the ball.

oikawa-san executed the power serve with such perfection, i find it hard to believe that he's slightly injured. 

the first set ends and i make sure to send the video to gokana who only leaves me on seen, but i'm not bothered at this point. 

i pocket my phone to concentrate on the match which is going in seijoh's favor as oikawa-san accurately sets to hajime, who slams it down onto the ground. although those two are undoubtedly the best players on the team, they aren't the only ones with skill, i notice.

the libero, the other third years and more than expected second and first years manage to score many points. seijoh plays well, making great use of each other as they end the second match twenty five to twelve.

i wonder why they've never made it to nationals before remembering shiratorizawa. the seemingly unbeatable team that rules over all in miyagi. 

i wouldn't be surprise if the unknown caller's long time nemesis would be ushijima-san from shiratorizawa. speaking of him, i glance down at our messages. he still hasn't seen or replied to mine.

i can only hope that he's doing okay.

⊱ ───────── ⊰

"congratulations on making it past the first match," i say to hajime as we both take a seat on a couch at the waiting area of the sendai stadium.

"thanks, kichona," he replies, stretching his arms. his movements suddenly halt when he catches sight of something. "ah, shittykawa's coming."

"iwa-chann!"

i know this voice.

before i can place this overly familiar voice, its owner shows up and takes a seat next to hajime before giggling like an elementary school girl. "no wonder you left the locker room so quickly, you had a girl waiting for you! you should've asked me for some tips, eh?"

then i place this voice.

[and my heart sinks.]

the voice has been modified, a slightly childish and self-centered undertone to the words. but underneath all of the pride and arrogance and goofiness, the cracks are obvious. the many times he had screamed in anger at himself is obvious. the many times he had cried in frustration is obvious.

[but i know it all too well.]

and suddenly, the fact that oikawa tooru, captain and setter of the mighty aoba johsai, is the unknown caller, slave to his fears and weakness. 

they are the same person.

they are the same person.

the teasing, athletic boy that breaks down at night.

and then i realize that he's passed out.

"hajime?" i blink, bringing myself out of the swirling thoughts. "did you just...punch him?"

"yeah," he shrugs as if it's no big deal. oikawa groggily gets up. "dumbass thinks that every relationship between a boy and a girl has to be romantic."

"usually it is," oikawa says grumpily, but in a way that indicates that there's no hard feelings towards hajime. 

hajime shakes his head. "well, not us. we're cousins."

"how was i supposed to know that?" oikawa asks loudly, dramatically moving his arms around. "you two look nothing alike."

"that's true, hajime," i nod. and it is. although we're first cousins, we look nothing alike.

he has darker than average skin with spiky brown hair and fiery green eyes. on the other hand, i have pale, almost ghostly skin and matching hair and eye colour of the deepest shade of black.

actually, nobody in my immediate family looks like me. mother has brown hair similar to hajime's, while my dad has grey. both of my parents have tan skin and brown eyes, though mother's eyes are lighter.

it's just because i'm the odd one out of the family, maybe the world. 

[the only one born from darkness.]

"wait," oikawa says suddenly, my thoughts getting banished yet again. he perks up into an upright sitting position and looks at me impishly. "another iwa-chan?"

the way he says that nickname makes it hard for me to believe that he's really the unknown caller.

"sorry to crush your dreams, but my last name isn't iwaizumi," i say ruefully. 

"what is it then?" he probes charmingly.

"wakara kichona," i reply.

"kichona," oikawa pronounces it slowly before smiling. i try not to notice how empty it is. "kichona. ooh, i like the sound of that!"

hajime scowls. "hey, who said you could call her by her first name?"

"hajime's right," i agree.

"then why did you tell me your first name?" he asks, smirking when i open my mouth, but don't reply. i shut it immediately and refuse to let my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

"besides, i call all pretty girls by their first name," oikawa continues matter-of-factly before winking flirtatiously at me.

pretty?

liar.

one afternoon school holidays before high school started, gokana told me that i didn't belong to any of the three categories of attractiveness (cute, pretty or hot). yet at the same time i wasn't ugly.

i was like a statue of an ancient greek god, powerful and strong and elegant. a person that you could always admire, but never love. but i was always fine with that. it's not like i expected anyone to love me.

and yet, i find myself wishing the opposite. 

oikawa taps his chin in thought. "actually, you're not pretty. w-wait! i didn't mean i like that! you're more beautiful than pretty."

this smooth jerk. 

hajime glances at me (and i avert my gaze) before he sighs in exasperation. "this is why i didn't want you two to meet."

"of course we had to meet!" oikawa clasps his hand excitedly. "she's obviously a big fan of me! during the game, i even saw her video me!"

"i'm not a fan of you," i say bluntly. "the video is for someone i know, nakamura gokana."

as i say her name, a section of the confusion and frustration i had left behind in tokyo briefly comes to haunt miyagi. 

'he's mine.'

and i remember the problems that come with oikawa being the unknown caller.

i told gokana that i wouldn't see oikawa in that way. after all, the only male i was remotely interested in was the unknown caller.

and yet, here i am as the girl oikawa tooru is currently flirting with. 

if gokana finds out about this, then our friendship will truly be lost forever. 

and she'll think i'm a monster.

[she'll find out the truth.]

"oh, nakamura-san," oikawa winces while saying her name in an unusually formal way. "i know we're texting, but...does she really think our relationship is serious?"

i remember how brightly she blushed on the one call with oikawa. i remember how she seemed to turn into a whole different person because of him. i remember how she willingly can extinguish our friendship for him.

"of course," i say, the words coming out more sharply than i had intended. "are you not serious about her? are you leading her on again? are you flirting with her just for fun?"

hajime looks uncomfortable, but not surprised. oikawa rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"sorry to break it to you, but women aren't your toys," i sneer before turning on my heel and walking off.

"kichona, wait," hajime's call halts my steps. i turn around to see my cousin staring evenly at me. "don't be so harsh on him. i know that his personality is trash as hell, but he's going through a tough time."

i roll my eyes. "so what? does that mean that he's just using gokana to get over his problems?"

hajime opens his mouth to respond, but before he can oikawa approaches and interrupts the conversation. "stop fighting. iwa-chan, don't defend me. i know that i am the one at fault. i also know that this is going to sound like i'm making up excuses, but i genuinely wanted to break whatever our relationship was when i realized it was wrong.

"but i didn't know how to do that without breaking her heart again. so i just continued flirting and talking, hoping that she would lose interest. but she didn't. still, i'm the one who made a mistake. i'm sorry."

it's silent for a moment before i speak up eventually.

hajime's expression tells me that it's a rare occasion for oikawa to apologize like this.

"you should break it off," i sigh. "if you drag it, it'll only hurt her more. and you should be apologizing to her. anyways, you two should get going. i'm pretty sure your coach will leave to school without you soon."

the three of us start walking, a hint of urgency in our steps.

"ki-chan!" oikawa exclaims and it takes me a second to realize that he's addressing me. i suppose the nickname isn't insufferable, after all. "you're really good at comforting people. and giving advice."

"am i really?" i saw awkwardly, remembering our phone calls that went for hours.

he nods. "you almost remind me of..."

i almost expect him to realize that i am that girl who is there for him when he is at his lowest.

but then he glances towards hajime, who is nearly running to the carparks at this point, and trails off. and then i know that even if he does realize, he won't say it in front of his best friend who only knows a fraction of what he's going through.

because after all, oikawa wants nobody to connect the talented setter with the broken boy.

[it's the same with me.]

i don't want a monster, a fractured girl.

for a while, i just want to be iwaizumi hajime's beautiful cousin.

⊱ ───────── ⊰

"so, ki-chan, i've been wondering. how do you know nakamura-san?" 

oikawa asks this question as both him and hajime exit the aoba johsai volleyball gym. it's late at night, the stars already out and shine against the black, velvet backdrop of the slightly cloud sky, shining even brighter than usual now that i'm not in a big city. 

usually i would be at home, preparing for bed, but a feeling of restlessness had overcome me ever since the discovery of the unknown caller's identity. so i meandered around the neighborhood before deciding to accompany hajime home from training.

the three of us start walking in the same direction as oikawa lives near hajime, and the stars glimmer and gleam, smiling down at us for the last evening of spring before summer takes over. and when summer takes over, weeds begin to take over flowers.

i furrow my eyebrows together at oikawa's question, hesitating before speaking. "we go to the same school. we're...acquaintances."

hajime raises an eyebrow at this, knowing well that there's more to the story. however, oikawa merely nods his head, content with the answer. "oh, okay. and uh, since you're really good at giving advice, do you think you could help me tell nakamura-san that whatever we have going on is over?"

i try not to smile at the slight shyness in his voice. "sure. tomorrow after your match?"

"sure!" he says before cheesily grinning. are all of his smiles so hollow? "anyways, i'm going in this direction now. see you tomorrow, iwa-chans! oh and iwa-chan, make sure to be on your top game tomorrow!"

"do you really need to remind me?" hajime rolls his eyes, but the corner of his lips twitch into a grin and oikawa starts walking off. "don't stay up too late analyzing, dumbass!"

"yeah, yeah!" oikawa yells back before lazily waving.

hajime shoves his hands into his pockets and when we resume walking, he asks, "what's going on between you and nakamura-san? aren't you two best friends?"

i'm not surprised that he asked this. as far as he knew, gokana was the only friend i had. 

"no, not anymore," i reply truthfully. "we had a fight."

"and your friendship is over?" hajime raises his eyebrows again. "just like that?"

i exhale in exasperation. "look, hajime. not all friendships are as perfect as yours and oikawa."

"you're wrong," hajime whispers as he stops walking.

"huh?"

"you're wrong," hajime says firmly, and i stop walking again. "if our friendship is so perfect...then i would be able to do something about the emptiness in his smile."

he drags his eyes to the pavement. "you noticed it too, didn't you? how his smiles are never genuine. how can i be called his best friend for more than fifteen years if i can't even make his smile properly? you must think i'm pathetic. and...i am!"

on the last sentence he shouts in frustration, his voice being heard even over the distance hum of the city. hajime curls his fingers up into a fist, ready to punch a light pole before i grab his arm, preventing him from carrying out his actions. 

"stop it," i say sharply, my grip tightening. "stop thinking about yourself like that."

i let go and his hand falls to the side of his body. we walk in perfect silence the rest of the way back to his house. when we're entering the house and slipping of our shoes, only then is the silence broken by the sound of a notification.

i check my phone to see that the unknown caller, or rather oikawa, had finally responded to the text message i had sent in the morning.

thank you ! your luck helped me advance to the next day (*^3^)/~☆

i take the emoticon as a sign that oikawa is feeling better than usual.

then a new message arrives.

hey, uh, about our identity. 

then the typing symbol pops up. and it feels like agony waiting for it to be replaced by a text message.

actually nvm. sorry to have disturbed you.

i stare at the message, mostly not shocked and partly disappointed that oikawa didn't unveil the mystery of each others identity, even though we both know. 

because after all, oikawa wants nobody to connect the talented setter with the broken boy.

[it's the same with me.]

i don't want a monster, a fractured girl.

for a while, i just want to be iwaizumi hajime's beautiful cousin.

so just for a little longer, we pretend to be someone we aren't.