⊱ ───────── ⊰

"SHIRATORIZAWA!"

the name of the dominating school in royal purple is declared proudly across the volleyball stadium, followed by loud thuds from drums, cheers and claps made by the large cheer squad. 

[ 'large' is an understatement. it's enormous, bigger than any high school cheer squad should be. it makes seijoh's cheer squad look pitiful, and everyone knows that. ]

so this is the school that people wanted oikawa to go to, i muse silently, remembering what hajime had told me before the match. in particular, that number one.

the captain and ace of shiratorizawa, ushijima wakatoshi. the skilled individual that had lead oikawa to defeat again and again and again. 

i watch as he spikes, using both his power and unusual dominant hand to his advantage. not even using a clever strategy to evade the blockers. just confronting the tallest members of seijoh, knowing that he will prevail. and he does, through sheer strength. 

i can practically feel seijoh's frustration. 

and it's not just ushijima. the rest of the shiratorizawa members are highly skilled, more so than the average player.

[ and maybe, more so than seijoh. ]

i try not to think about that, but it's hard not to when they're scoring point after point until the first set belongs to them. 

seijoh loses by three points, spiraling into a tunnel of doom with shiratorizawa's cheer dimly pounding inside their head. 

then the second set comes and although fatigue should start becoming a factor, they seem to fight even harder, knowing too well that this may be their last set. 

and subconsciously, my hands become clenched fists as i begin to feel their determination. their desperation not to lose, not after all those late night training sessions and sacrifices. 

i hope that seijoh wins. 

i don't want oikawa and hajime to experience the same loss they're so familiar with. i don't want to see my dauntless cousin break down into tears. i don't want to see the unknown caller on the verge of a panic attack yet again. 

and while they seem like the protagonists of a story to me, they are not the team that wins.

[ it's hopeless. ]

as ushijima spikes and scores one last time, the second set closes and belongs to shiratorizawa. 

the whole match does.

shiratorizawa remains triumphant and seijoh remains defeated. 

and for some reason, i start disliking shiratorizawa. it's absolutely irrational. i am obviously biased, but shiratorizawa were merely playing the game. what am i so angry at them for?

ah.

it's because they didn't need a strategical plan or any combination attacks. they just needed simple strength. that was all it took for all of seijoh's strategies and spikes and tosses and receives to crumble. 

looking at the team as they line up facing shiratorizawa, that fact is particularly obvious on some of the first years' faces, astounded and disappointed and angry. 

the third years are particularly good at playing poker, but perhaps it's just because they're used to it. oikawa, in particular, continues to wave and smile at his fangirls, thanking them for watching him play and reassuring them that he's fine.

lie.

when seijoh finishes getting briefed by their coach and emerge from their locker room, hanamaki-san invites me to come with them to get bowls of ramen. i accept, just because i want to keep an eye on oikawa in case he has a panic attack. 

said setter excuses himself from the team, weaving a lie of needing the toilet. it's only a minute after when i feel my phone vibrating that i excuse myself too, using the same lie he used. 

"e-emo-chan?" his broken voice whispers.

i swallow and i try to keep my voice light as possible. "i'm here for you, tooru."

i instantly silently curse at myself for letting slip not only his name, but his first name, and any other time oikawa would've picked it up. but now he's preoccupied and doesn't even register the slip up.

"thank you," he says. "i guess you can tell what happened."

"yeah," i admit, my walking pace increasing to jogging when i finally spot oikawa. he's outside the building, standing near a tree with lush green leaves. "however, i bet you played extremely well."

"not good enough, though," oikawa says before quietly cursing beneath his breath. i push open the wide, glass doors and start heading towards him. 

unsure of what to say, i remain silent. he notices this, "you don't have to comfort me. just you being here is enough. though...i wish you were actually here with me."

"well, wish granted."

i hang up just as i reach him. 

and i'm not a big fan of skinship, but there's something about oikawa's empty voice that makes me reach out and wrap my arms around him from behind. i hug him, tightly but not too tightly, just enough to make me feel as though i'm piecing all his broken pieces and putting them together again. 

i almost expect for oikawa to hit me as a reflex, but instead his body relaxes and he grips my hands as his tears begin to cascade down. 

maybe it's because he recognizes me and my voice and my touch, despite meeting only two days ago. or maybe it's because he's just so vulnerable that he just wants anybody to be there with him. 

that only makes me embrace him tighter.

and like i mentioned before, i'm not a big fan of skinship but this simple hug ignites a spurring of warmth that i've never experienced before, not even when father was alive and before everything when downhill. 

oikawa continues to cry and i remain silent, letting him know that i really am there for him by occasionally squeezing his hand.

after a few minutes passes, he lets go to reach a tissue i offer him. he sneezes before saying, "i suspected, but i didn't really think that you were emo-chan."

"maybe it's fate," i suggest, half-jokingly.

however, oikawa is fully serious when he stares back and murmurs, "yeah. it has to be."

his intense gaze catches me off guard and i instead glance at the scenery around us. he does too, saying, "it's a shame that we lost. it would've been a beautiful day to celebrate."

"yeah," i agree. when i came outside i was too focused on oikawa to look around but now that i have, i agree with oikawa. 

the azure sky is bright and wonderfully clear, the exception being a few spots in which white puffs float. the abundance of greenery bursting into life in front of the volleyball stadium contrasts greatly with the brick footpath, gleaming from the recent slight shower of rain. 

and birds are soaring high, flapping their strong wings to reach heights plants can never touch.

it's beautiful, but painfully sad to think that the earth is celebrating while seijoh is shattering. 

⊱ ───────── ⊰

by the time we arrive at the noodle shop (owned by one of the second year's family), the sun has already set and the stars have started to greet miyagi. 

the seijoh volleyball team had training afterwards on top of the match, so as we enter the restaurant they yawn and order the basic bowl of ramen before flopping onto wooden chairs.

the insects sitting on the bright yellow lights outdoors and slowly turning fans only add to the feeling of summer. it is relatively crowded and it proved a challenge to get seats next to everyone, but even so, i managed to be wedged between oikawa and hajime. 

i do not like the heat of summer and the bustling activity of the small restaurant, but i do not pay these things any attention. rather, all of my mind is focused on oikawa, who continuously smiles emptily like it's seconds nature.

hajime, who had gotten over the defeat after hitting several spikes, feels the same way as me. i can tell by the way his brow creases as he invites oikawa to stay over for the night and softens only slightly even when oikawa agrees. 

"you're fine with that, right?" hajime asks me, referring to oikawa coming over.

i shrug. "yeah."

"oikawa-kun!" 

our conversation is cut short when a gorgeous girl our age calls out, making our way over to us, her silver hair swaying gently as she moves. 

"oh, hey etsu-chan," oikawa waves. 

"fancy meeting you here," she smiles, straightening out her summer dress. she nods at the rest of the third years. "you too, iwaizumi-kun, hanamaki-kun, mattsukawa-kun."

her gaze lingers on hajime for a second longer before she glances at me. 

"wakara kichona," i introduce myself. "hajime's cousin."

"ah," etsuko-san says before snapping her fingers. "from tokyo, right?"

when i nod, she grins again. "cool. i'm thinking about going there in a few months, maybe we can talk about it together late on?"

"sure," i reply and her grin widens before she turns and starts making small talk with oikawa. 

"etsuko's oikawa's ex," hajime explains to me quietly. "she dumped him a few weeks ago because that dumbass was too occupied with volleyball to pay attention to her."

"oh," is all i can think of to say before etsuko-san turns away from oikawa.

"now that we're all here, by some miraculous chance, we need to discuss a few things about the group assignment from aiko-sensei," etsuko-san says. hajime, hanamaki and mattsukawa, who seems to know what she's talking about, grudgingly gets up to bring the talk about school away from the team. 

including oikawa and i.

"you didn't tell me you had a break up," i say before realizing how intrusive it sounded. 

oikawa shrugs. "if i'm being honest, i was fine after that. i guess we both lost feelings a while ago and despite her dumping me, we're on good terms now. though, didn't think i had to mention my love life to you. aw ki-chan, are you possibly jealous?"

"don't be stupid," i scoff. "if i may remind you, we met three days ago."

"and if i may remind you," oikawa smiles smugly. "we've been talking to each other for about two months now."

i scowl. "shut up, shittykawa."

he only laughs before putting his hands behind his head. "now i see the resemblance between you and hajime."

it's quiet for a minute, the arguments between the first years and second years about whether pineapple belongs on pizza making their way to our ears before oikawa speaks up again. "you know, i'm glad my relationship with etsu-chan ended. it felt wrong to be in a relationship while talking about all my secrets to another girl. which turned out to be you."

"crazy," i drain the rest of the soup from my bowl into my mouth before swallowing, the delicious flavor overly satisfying. i note that he doesn't even mention whatever he had with gokana.

"yeah," he agrees, tiredly running a hand through his now messy hair. "so, do you prefer emo-chan or ki-chan?"

"i prefer just my name, plain and simple," i set the bowl down with a soft thud.

"alright," he says before smirking. "kichona."

the sudden use of my first name nearly makes me choke. "i meant my last name, dumbass. we're not on first name terms."

"that didn't seem to bother you this afternoon," he points out, slyly remembering.

i flush. "it was an accident."

"sure, sure," oikawa waves around his hands. "an accident."

as he finishes the sentence, hajime and the others, including etsuko-san, return, looking grumpy enough to make me believe that they truly were talking about a group assignment.

for a moment i think etsuko-san's going to join us, but she looks at me and says, "do you mind coming having a chat with me?"

surprised, i reply, "sure."

"etsu-chan, stop taking my friends away," oikawa pouts. 

"it'll be quick, i promise," etsuko-san smiles. and without further ado, she spins and i follow her lead until we're outside in the warm evening, the moonlight making her pale skin glow and illuminating just how flawless her skin is. 

but then she vaguely reminds me of gokana as her amber eyes narrow and she asks,

"do you have feelings for oikawa?"