"I know that you think that I am the fun guard, and I don't mind you spreading your royal, fairy dust, positive energy in the entire city, but you need to stop right now! This is embarrassing, Princess."

Said girl almost jumped out of her skin when the voice of her royal guard appeared right at the back of her neck, like an acid ghost who cannot go to rest until he spoils the fun of a poor bored girl locked in an imaginary tower.

Princess Emery knew that what she tried to do would give even the birds who were passing by and by accident looked at her, second hand embarrassment, but now the deed was done. She can't really go back in time to change her mind, but oh, she wished she could. She was the winner of the "worst possible escape" contest, trying to leave her room for a few hours, in the old-fashioned way, by building a rope out of sheets to climb down without breaking her neck. Emery totally forgot about her second guard, who was scared out of his brain of the first guard, and kept an eye on her like a hawk this past week, since the temporarily missing guard threatened him with the loss of some balls if he dared to break his oath to their princess. Sir Benjiro Suzuki knew better than to try to cross his partner's word.

She actually thought until now that she had an amazing plan.

In Emery's defense, when you live for nineteen years in an ivory castle, the fact that you could ever make use of the skill of sneaking out is not really the first thing that comes to your mind in the morning, when you wake up and plan the whole day. She was really bad at this, and everybody knew it. But, like I said, it is not entirely her fault. It's not like she never left the castle without her parents' consent, but until now she had a specialist in the art of sneaking out as a best friend attached to her hip. Now that her blonde fellow was away on a well-deserved holiday with her father, Emery was left all alone, without a master of sneaking out to help her make her leave.

It was like she had a selective memory or something because she completely forgot the route her friend used to drag her into when they wanted to disappear for a bit, away from all the tiring noise the palace threw on her shoulder. She was sure they took the long route because it took forever to get the fuck out of their home.

She should have known she is going to be caught. Her male guard was one of the best knights the Folice kingdom has seen in the last decade, and her poor excuse of an escape wouldn't have made it that far, as he would have found her even in a snake's hole.

Cursing under her breath, becoming aware of the wonderful position in which she was caught, with one foot still in the room and one outside the window, she covered her face in shame with her hands, moaning in irritation the name of the knight who was watching her with raised eyebrows from the middle of the room.

"You know," the bluenette snorted, pulling back the long string of sheets back inside, "in moments like this, I kinda regret chosing you as my royal guard!"

"Too bad, princess!" the raven-haired man shrugged, without even giving her the pleasure of looking amused in any way. "You are stuck with me, forever and ever!"

Stuck. Forced. Glued together until time and the end her far too busy schedule tore them apart. The same thing in her case.

"Till death do us apart!" muttered the girl, more to herself, reluctantly slamming the window behind her.

Truth to be told, she actually loved her guards, the people who literally gave up their entire life just to serve her, a selfish and emotional brat, who sucked at sneaking out. They all grew up together, she and her two knights. It was like yesterday they were just kids, playing in mud when their parents weren't looking, and stealing each other's toys like they were gummy bears. Emery couldn't understand to this day why the two of them chose to babysit her 24/7 instead of leaving the fuck away from this place, fact that sometimes, she wants to bring to reality when she has a bad day.

The oaths her two companions took made her respect them more than she found humanly possible. Call her acquisitive, but she could never do something like that. Maybe because before anything she hated to submit to another person. Sometimes even her own parents found her difficult to advise.

"Dinner is ready," her annoying knight told her, turning his back to her, leaving the room with small, loud steps. "Their majesty awaits you!"

The young girl blinked, clearly confused at her guards' words. Again?

One thing was crystal clear, blue just like her long and curly hair was. Her family wasn't at all the traditional family that she used to read about in the books her friend hid and slipped into the castle for her entertainment, another thing she was good at, and Emery was sucking her finger in despair. Emery had her own things she was good at, like crocheting or gardening, however inappropriate these activities might be for a girl of her rank. Emery also loved writing letters in response to her subjects' concerns, even though her parents told her it was a waste of time. She and her cousin started this activity when they were little, and the other royal girl told her how she wanted to help their kingdom in some way, feeling useless in her current state. In conclusion, the princess's days did not pass like a smoke of boredom before her eyes.

She loved her life. It wasn't perfect, but she didn't need it to be.

Her family wasn't perfect either, but that was another fact about her life she couldn't change. It would be stupid to think that she actually could. Emery was well aware of the truth that she didn't choose her family, just like they didn't exactly choose her. Or at least didn't exactly got the chance to choose the gender of their heir. If they could, they would have, she was pretty sure of that and they wouldn't have chosen her. Every teacher she passed made sure Emery knew she wasn't a boy so she had to work three times harder to prove her worth. As her parents didn't bother to produce another heir after her birth, Emery was the future of the Folice Kingdom.

Being basically born and raised in the pure soul of the court, Emery heard a good deal of words that until then she didn't know actually existed - but you know, Emery would tell herself, it's the risk that came with the job. Not that she cared for those kinds of things like rumors and gossip. At least not the one that is about her, because otherwise she loved gossip. They were one of the only things that actually kept her entertained on her most boring days. Rumors about every lady or gentleman that dared to set foot in the castle yard. Like the other day, her lady-in-waiting, Constance, told her about what happened between Lady Miriam - who Emery almost chose over Constance a few years ago - and her former fiancé, Mr. Nicholas Holland, whose father had a big and powerful reputation across the realm. A scandal she didn't know she needed in her life, but there they are.

Nicholas had a whole ass wife and kid who were waiting for him in the Ventence kingdom, pretty far away from the Folice kingdom and poor Lady Miriam who believed herself to be so in love with her future husband. Over the top, Nicholas took advantage of the young girl's love for him and deflowered her right before the wedding to ensure she was his for the rest of her life. Emery, though shocked, couldn't help but laugh at all the spicy information Constance was whispering to her behind her own fan.

"Don't let your wife stop you from finding the whore!" her lady-in-waiting whispered then, causing the young princess to clap her hand over her mouth to hide her own astonishment, along with the giggle that threatened to betray her.

If anyone ever asked where Emery and her best friend, Solana got their highly developed vocabulary of swearing and cursing, Constance would start laughing proudly from the corner. Maybe Solana's fellow knight took a big part in it, especially for the blonde knight's case, but that was a secret the princess is going to take with her to grave. She can't imagine the horror in her mother's eyes if she ever finds out she sneaks out now and then to watch Solana's training.

She couldn't help but wonder, who was the monster who Lady Miriam confessed to, and dared to spread such awful gossip. Emery heard in her ears how her heart broke piece by piece, little by little, like a poor made glass, at the realization that you can't trust anybody those days with your soul. With your problems and deepest secrets that poisons your mind and reaps out every little beam of humanity left in yourself.

When she told her lady-in-waiting about her concerns and her sad thoughts, she giggled, offering her princess a warm smile, glorifying the golden heart labeled by her. That was the bad part of gossip, your conscience, appearing in the back of your head like a demon with a string soaked in acid, ready to punish you for your sins. She rarely felt bad for those around her, telling herself that she too was being talked about behind her back the same way she did to those around her. She told herself to feel better, that they deserved it. This was the high court society in which she had been born, raised, lived, and would die.

Solana would be very disappointed with her every time she would entertain Constance's foolish talk. Who needs a conscience when you have the blonde knight there like a dagger of justice in the ribs?

Well, her judgy, but well-intentioned friend, was not here now to be the little angel on her shoulder to tell her what is wrong or right, and her consciousness had to step in to restore the balance in her messy, stupid life. Now being single, there were times when her mouth took it in advance, indulging all sorts of crazy people without a second thought, only to be pulled on the ear by her own conscience later.

Sometimes she couldn't help herself and wondered how Solana and Constance ended up being friends when they are literally the opposite of one another. There are times when even Emery thinks that Solana is closer with Constance than is with her, the longest friendship they both had. Maybe it was jealousy and she was being possessive of her best friend, but for a long period of time, Emery hated Constance's guts. That's why she almost chose Lady Miriam to be her lady, instead of their dark-haired friend. They all grew up together, that is true, but that didn't stop the princess from having a hate-tolerance relationship with lady Constance.

Her mother once told her that you can hardly change or control the way you feel. What you can control is what comes out of your mouth. And when you don't have anything good to say about something you better not say anything at all. That the queen's young daughter deviated from this saying is the second part.

Another thing in her life Emery can't really control herself, is her stupid schedule, if not even her stupid entire life. It didn't bother her that much until now. It's true that it is..inconvenient, but after having your day planned every week, since the very first moment you were born, you kinda get used to having a program, whether it is a healthy one or not. It would be a waste of time to complain about it, and she hated complaining. Which was strange since that's all she sees in her surroundings. Rich people complaining about their whole life, which seen by the ignorant eye of a poor man, just looks like a hypocrite.

Emery hated complaining, but that is exactly what she'll be doing now, since having dinner with her family is at the top of her list of "I'd rather throw myself headfirst out the window than do it".

"Do I really need to?" she found herself whispering, more as a failed attempt to comfort herself.

She truly wished her other guard, her closest friend, if not even her sister, didn't have to leave since she was the only one who would succeed in making her feel better after her family weekly dinners. They weren't always a thing in her family. It's a new incident that gradually turns into a habit, to the despair of the young girl. A facade, ugly and forced, that made Emery greatly uncomfortable. The young princess felt a pinch of jealousy bloom inside her, as the thought of her guard having the time of her life, outside, on her annual hunting trip that she had with her dad, while she was stuck here, with her own stupid parents bugging her back.

If she's to be honest, Emery felt horrible for a while for thinking like that. The woman knight hasn't had a trip like that with her dad, who was also a knight, which Solana didn't really see much since she was named as one of the weeping princess's royal guards, in ages. Especially because the girl in question was busy finishing her own training. Emery's guilt didn't last long, as she cursed under her breath as she met her guard unimpressed eyes, as he closed the door behind him, leaving Emery with a huge black hole in her heart and a rope made of sheets that he had no idea where to hide for hard times.

"And that's why Solana is my favorite!" she pouted, unhappy, but also used to his cold behavior.

And Solana was indeed her favorite person to exist in this castle, as her friend would come with solutions and bring positive remarks about this whole situation. Or even better, she would have pretended it was raining and left her alone when she was caught in the act trying to escape. Well, that was a lie. Solana would not have allowed her to go off on her own on foreign land...alone.

Yes, Solana was the specialist in sneaking the hell out of this shitwhole, that Emery just thought about seconds ago. As annoyingly responsible as the girl has become since she got her position as a knight, there were still pieces of the old, childish and naughty Solana, Emery knew and loved her entire life. Not that the princess didn't love the updated version of her oldest friend, but she clearly didn't enjoy being babysitted by her. It was a pain in the ass she wouldn't get rid of, but also isn't really pleased with it.

If Solana would be here, she would understand, Emery was certain of this. Solana always understood, even when she actually didn't, but she knew Emery needed the emotional support, so she must make herself understand the situation.

Maybe if Benji had heard her reasons would have been on her side, also, but the princess wasn't prepared to share all these knowledges that right now felt more like a torture for her, with anyone, as she was still processing everything herself.

Is not everyday that you found out, that you are the cause of your fathers' unhappiness.