How long will I feel like myself again?

What are we supposed to do now?

Why did you run? Did you think I would condemn you for what happened?

Where are you? Of course you can't tell me that.

I'm still me.

I love you!

I'm scared.

I LOVE YOU

Kat kept writing and crossing out her messages over the next few days. The evening after Cage's escape, he'd sent her an answer to her first question.

Yes.

It didn't come with warnings or advice and she couldn't blame him for being wary. After all, it could be a trap from her side. It wasn't like she'd shown any signs of good will. It was maybe why she was so afraid of sending him other messages. Could he still trust her after everything? Still love her?

Their night together still lingered on her mind, and the memory of his skin against hers managed to enforce her determination to stay herself. She pretended in front of the others, kept her cold and domineering demeanor, but inside... She was back to being the same Kat, worry about her friends and Papa included.

Joshua was no longer in Darkwood. Keleigh was, but she was elusive, and Kat was too afraid to draw attention to her by having her brought to the castle. She was also very aware that she couldn't play the recovery card much longer. Lucille, dressed up as Leila as she was, was antsy to get on with her conquest and was pushing for faster answers. Kat wished she could think of valid reasons to delay further.

"What are you even waiting for?" Leila asked as Kat read over the reports of the patrols.

"We should dig trenches," she muttered.

"Whatever for?"

"To secure our new land."

The people weren't happy. The soldiers of Endir were being attacked from the shadows. It wasn't something serious, mere harassment from a population that obviously didn't want to accept the conquerors. It was just like Cage had predicted. It would be impossible to unite the two kingdoms with all the bigotry happening. Even without the armies involved, the people would murder each other.

"The safest way to secure our new land is to conquer Valona," Leila pointed out.

"I agree, but I want to prepare for the worst."

Had Leila always been this suspicious and she'd missed it or was she about to realize something was wrong and take control of her again? The thought was blood-curdling.

"That is a good strategy in general," Leila said with a nod. "But we are running out of time."

Kat narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean? I wasn't aware we were going against the clock."

"The more we wait, the bigger the chances are they will regroup. And winter is coming. Real winter. Our people need food."

That was true and Kat hated it. A part of her still wanted to grab a win for Endir, but not like this, not at the price of Iride turning against her. Her own adoptive kingdom. The one she could have ruled by Cage's side. Just the thought of how close she'd been to being queen of Iride instead of Endir made her mind want to retreat to the deepest crevices of the world.

"Okay, yes, you're right." She heaved a sigh. "I'll let Keith know that we should once again rally the troops and begin the offensive. At least when we find Iride's army."

"Do you think they'll be hiding?" Leila asked, sounding interested.

Since she hadn't been there from the beginning, she'd missed the pieces of war among trees and villages. Kat most certainly didn't want to go back to that, but if she remembered Jazz well, he'd be all in favor of guerilla tactics and she was sure he was leading the army in Cage's stead.

Where are you? She wished she could ask him that. She knew he hadn't had time to reach Valona, but why was there no sign that he had been found?

"Is something wrong?"

Leila's voice came from much too close and made her jump. It felt like a cold whisper down her spine, digging into the stem of her brain.

"Don't do that," she hissed.

Her grandmother parading as her friend narrowed her eyes. "What's going on, Kat? What were you really waiting for?"

Wasn't that the golden question? She didn't even know that for herself, let alone well enough to spin a lie about it. "I hoped..."

She was rescued by Keith who pushed the door opened and hurried inside the room which used to be Cage's study.

"Your Majesty," he said, out of breath. "There's a messenger from the capital here to see you."

"That. I was waiting for that." Kat stood, her heart skipping beats with both relief and dread. "Is this about the treaty?"

"I believe it is, your Majesty," Keith said. "It's one of their magic wielders."

"That's not a bad strategy," Leila whispered. "Though I'm a bit confused why you didn't want to share."

Kat took advantage of the fact that she could leave the conversation, so she placed the icy crown on her brow, her cloak over her shoulders, and headed towards the entrance. She knew it would be Trix. After all, Keith knew Jazz and called him the Tallian.

She wasn't wrong. Once she reached the steps of the castle, Trix awaited her before the stone fountains adorned with roses, joined by two palace guards. It was so odd to see Trix dressed as a nobleman that she couldn't help but pause. Yes, she'd seen him out of the sailor garb, but he'd been wearing armor. Now it was trousers and tunics made out of fine silk, a cape lined with fur and shiny black boots. He still had his gloves, now made of the finest leather, but he'd given up on the eyepatch so his mismatched eyes were for all to see.

She tried to pull herself together, but from the subtle widening of Trix's eyes, she knew he'd noticed. She prayed Leila hadn't in some magical way.

Tilting her chin up, she did her best to throw him a disdainful look. "Yes, Iridian?"

Kat?

The voice inside her head almost made her drop her guard again because it sounded like Trix. But how was that possible?

Trix? What is this?

"Oh, so, I'm an Iridian now. Nothing more," he said out loud, his tone filled with disgust.

Kat, can you really hear me?

Yes, I can. What's going on? How can I hear you? Because it felt as if he was talking from somewhere inside her.

"Of course you're nothing more." She scoffed for good measure, but her heart was beating wildly. "I hope you are here with news from Valona, and not to waste my time."

"I'm here with our proposed treaty, as per your request." Trix's outer voice was filled with poison.

Something happened when I touched you on the ship and took your powers. But it never worked like this before. Did something change for you?

Kat reached out her hand. "Let's see it."

"Like this, on the castle steps?"

"Do you think you deserve to step inside?"

I remember who I am. I remember everything.

Trix's eyes widened the slightest bit, but he kept the disgust on his face as he stepped closer and passed her a rolled up document with an official seal.

"Open it. Let's see!"

Leila's voice almost had Kat dropping the document. Seeing what she knew from Cage, she'd never thought Lucille would expose herself like that. The look on Trix's face confirmed that he knew all too well what this meant.

Kat's hands shook and she had to put a lot of effort into not showing how afraid she was. Afraid that Leila would tell that something was wrong, hear the silent conversation going on inside her head.

What's she doing here? Trix's question came without delay.

We have to be very careful. But she couldn't stall. She had to open the document and read it. She had to stop her hands from shaking. Keith tensed next to her, leaning just a bit closer. His curiosity was evident, but he couldn't read Iridian. This document was for her eyes only. And obviously Leila's because Kat doubted that Lucille would be thwarted by something as mundane as language.

The words danced before her eyes. She couldn't focus at all.

"If you agree with the terms, you can pass it to our king for signing," Trix said, keeping his voice level.

Kat frowned as she was finally able to catch the gist of the document. "You are surrendering Sandrine to us."

The Iridian guards took in sharp breaths, so it was obvious they were unaware of the content of the document.

Trix just shrugged. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Cage would never sign this.

We know. That's sort of the point.

"Oh, look at that." Leila stepped closer, reading over Kat's shoulder. "They want to secure safe passage to Tallia and Annora."

"They were our neighbors for so long. I think it's only fair," Trix said.

The more she read, the more Kat couldn't believe that this had come from Edmund Pengranton. The terms were insane, too in favor of Endir. Did they need Cage that much? The answer was obvious. Yes, they did. Because he was the only one who could get them out of this. Except they didn't know he wouldn't cheat a treaty. He'd rather die than sign it instead.

"We owe you no concessions," Leila said. "That land belongs to us now."

Trix didn't comment, but his eyes turned to Kat. Bring it to him before I strangle her.

Cage is not here. He escaped. You need to get back to Valona and wait for him there. You need to rally your army and push Endir back. Her thoughts became jumbled as her hands began shaking again. She forced outward anger to her expression because it was the only way to hide the fear.

What?

Unfortunately, Trix's expression turned confused. Could Lucille believe it was over what she said? Kat didn't have the courage to turn and look at Leila's face.

You have to go back to him. Tell him that I'm me again. Tell him that... She swallowed heavily. Tell him that if Lucille possesses me again, he has to kill me.

Trix just stared, looking even more gobsmacked than before.

"What is it, little Iridian?" Leila asked. "Shocked that we won't accept your terms?"

He turned to her, but the look of shock was still on her face. "Won't accept... But these are much better terms than you expected to get!"

"No, they are worse," Kat said, trying to keep her voice as cold as possible and detract Leila's attention from him. "Leila is right. We owe you no concessions. You are the losing party."

"You're right, your Majesty." Leila took the treaty from Kat's hand and began ripping it to pieces with slow movements. "We owe them no concessions. We owe them nothing."

"Then what was the whole point of this?" Trix demanded. "To flaunt your superiority in front of us?"

"Maybe so," Leila said.

You have to stop her!

Kat agreed, but not in the way Trix meant. It's not like we could do anything with the treaty without Cage.

You could have stalled!

Yes, she could have, if Leila being there didn't mean that she had to read it on the front steps of the castle. My hands are tied.

You're not even trying!

He couldn't know how much she was trying. How terrified she was of being taken over again like she'd been on the battlefield.

"You will not get anything better out of us," he warned.

Kat's heart thumped as cold slithered through her veins. It was slow, but purposeful and she knew what it meant. What would follow. She had to stop it.

"You don't understand," she said, keeping her voice slow and steady. "We don't need anything from you."

"But you said..."

Kat let out a laugh, putting as much malice as she could into it. "I needed something to distract you while our army rested. We don't need a treaty because we are not done. You have more land we want."

It was Trix's turn to laugh. "You really think you can siege Valona? When it has a private port and you have no navy?"

He made a very good point, and it gave Kat hope. "Maybe we don't even want your petty capital."

Kat, what are you doing? What's going on?

Stop doing this. Stop talking to me. And she prayed he wouldn't react to her warning. He did. It was just a subtle widening of the eyes, but by the way Leila leaned forward and over Kat's shoulder, she was sure she'd seen it.

"Oh, but we want it all," Leila said.

Trix's jaw clenched as he turned his attention from Kat to the fae in disguise. "Just who are you supposed to be again?" he asked. "What gives you the right to speak for Endir?"

Kat shook her head. This was a horrible strategy, but he seemed to be at the end of his rope.

"You're a poor girl we saved from a horrible port town. Yes, I'm saying we, Leila, because if it wasn't for us, you'd still be in Yarik selling yourself for money. So do tell me who gave you the authority to issue threats?"

"I did!" Kat said. "Leila is my advisor."

Trix turned to her, hatred burning in his eyes. "Oh, I see. So she's parroting your opinion? At least you could have the decency to speak directly to me, not let your mouthpiece do it."

Keith put his hand on the pommel of his sword. Even if he couldn't understand the words, he was getting a pretty good idea of what was going on from their tone and body language. She most certainly didn't want this to turn violent. Even if it was a diplomatic disaster, she had given Trix important information. Information he needed to live to pass on.

"If you don't like my hospitality, you are free to go." She nodded toward the gate.

The cold inside her veins intensified. Lucille didn't want to let him go.

Destroy him.

That was no longer Trix's voice inside her.

No! Why? He needs to get the message back.

"You won't have your way," Trix said. "You will lose this war."

"We will not," Leila said, her tone laced with sweet poison. "We will take your country and your capital."

He huffed. "I'd like to see you try."

"You won't."

The words had left Kat's mouth without her approval. In a flash, she felt her consciousness thrown against the limits of her being, smothered and crushed by the cold. She tried to scream, but no sound came out. She was no longer in control of her body.

Her hands raised, but it wasn't her. Icicles erupted out of the ground at Trix's feet, sharp like blades. They sunk into every inch of him, tearing through his flesh, breaking his bones, tearing him apart. His scream died in his throat, as his wide eyes lost their life.

No! No, no, no! Kat clawed her way towards the surface, but there was nothing she could do, no way she could escape the void.

More icicles shot out of the ground, impaling the horses, the other Iridian guards. Blood flooded the courtyard, so much of it that even her own guards stepped away.

No, please.

No one listened, and that was when Kat realized what she had to do. She yielded. Like a long forgotten memory of better times, she retreated to her corner and just waited. She refused to look, refused to listen, and only hoped that Lucille wouldn't kill her permanently and take over her body. What was stopping her anyway? The fae didn't need Kat, just a mortal body to inhabit.

Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, hours, maybe days. In her dark corner, Kat waited to die. To be forgotten. 

But it wasn't like that. The darkness shifted, her senses returned, and she found herself sitting at her vanity table. The familiarity of her bedchambers brought a bit of solace, but it got lost among the horror consuming her. She was herself again, but for how long?

Her eyes drifted to the surface of the table where the golden notebook rested. Har Lucille looked inside? Had she seen that she now knew? Though if she had, there would be consequences. Kat suspected that she was merely deposited there, that Lucille didn't care much once her plan was put in motion.

She grabbed the notebook and hugged it tight to her chest. She needed to be safe for a while, and there was only one place where that could be.

Taking the notebook with her, Kat retreated to the dungeon.

⚜⚜⚜

Well, I don't think anyone expected that. 😳 Kat did try to warn Trix, but he was so pissed, he didn't listen. And now he's gone.

Things are spicing up again, moving towards the climax and the end of the story (and the series!). I hope you're still enjoying it. Not much more to go now.